“It’s time, Isla. Your special day’s arrived.” Jules says reverently when she attaches my veil. I can feel the glitter illusion soft tulle flow over my shoulders and down to my lower back. My insides are calm and collected. No doubts enter my mind about today or my future.
The ornate room, with a large chandelier in the center distributes its sparkle across the room upon all of us. The extensive room is furnished with antiques I would normally drool over. Take hours upon hours to touch and memorize each piece of the carved walnut wood. But I don’t have time today. The antique dresser has my makeup and curlers spaced over it. My empty wedding dress bag is draped over the French Victorian, plush velvet wine-colored love settee. The pewter full-length mirror shimmers with the reflection of my matron of honor in her cerulean blue dress.
“Jules, you look absolutely stunning.” My voice soft and in awe of her beauty. “Every man out there will be begging Alex and I to introduce you to them, so be ready to be swamped.” A tear escapes the corner of my eye, thinking about the support Jules and Kameron has given me over the years.
Looking as striking as Jules, Kameron’s definitive red-streaked hair compliments her indigo bridesmaid dress. She turns me around so she can put my most treasured possession on my neck, my Tiffany key necklace. Standing at the full-length mirror, I look at the Vera Wang gown. It’s an off-the-shoulder white with silver beads and lace design, offering a full skirt. I’m transformed. Free to live and be loved like a fairy princess. Next to Alex, that is what I am.
Jules and Kam are at either side of me. In a hushed tone, Jules says “It’s time to go Isla.” Jules leans in with a small kiss on my cheek. We walk out the expansive room leaving the old Isla Winters behind.
Placing my arm into my brother’s waiting arm, I can’t hide the smile. I am about to be floating toward the person who makes me whole. Ed Sheerin’s ‘Thinking Out Aloud’ gently filters through the air. I am lead by Benjamin around the corner, ready to walk the aisle into my new life.
People are watching Jules and Kameron saunter down the aisle carpeted in a rich wine-colored plush. When the attendees’ heads turn back to face me, I see many smiles.
I don’t recognize any of them…
My eyebrows knit together for a sheer moment. Confusion presenting itself. Why don’t I know any of these attendees?
Jules and Kameron make it to the end of the aisle. Watching Alex give a slight nod to each of them, it’s my turn to make the journey. Benjamin and I exchange glances. His relaxed smile explains everything, he is happy for me. Ready for me to take this step in my life.
I’m walking and walking. I’m being escorted to my future.
The aisle feels so long. I can see the shape of Alex’s blonde hair and the perfect fitting black suit stretched over his muscular body. But the path is so extensive.
“Benjamin, faster, I need to be by his side, now.” I whisper to my brother.
No matter how fast I walk, the aisle seems to stretch further away.
With desperation, I pull on Benjamin’s arm. It’s like a metal rod with no give in it. It’s solid and unmoving, linked through mine. His relaxed smile is gone and a stoic robotic face greets mine. It’s expressionless, staring straight down the endless path. My wild eyes dart back and forth to Ben and Alex. The guests are a hazy blur. I can’t see anyone’s face clearly.
My peony roses bouquet is getting heavy in my hand, so I drop them. Subtle pink petals disperse all over the carpet. My ears feel muffled as I try to reach Alex any way I can. My steps become frantic in the white six-inch heeled shoes I am wearing. I try taking long strides, as my infuriation grows, to provoke Benjamin to go faster. I’m kept in check though by the solid arm locking me to his limb. Ed Sheerin stops playing.
I stop.
Lifting my elbow, I try to heave my arm out of Benjamin’s, but his hold is too tight. Turning my face sideways to see what his problem is, it’s like I am stabbed with a hot poker into my heart.
Black, menacing, soulless eyes penetrate me. My arm is secured by Dimitri Sokolov…
He smiles with his perfectly white teeth as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. Screaming at the top of my lungs only seems to make him happier and he starts laughing when I yank on his arm.
“You are mine, Isla, only mine.” He states with confidence and dominance.
I won’t give up the struggle and battle. I kick his shins and my hands tear at his clothes to try to break away from him. Raging from inside, my veil and lacy dress swish from side to side when I beat his chest with my fists in a frenzy. The veil gets in the way of my sight. I grab the tulle, reefing it from my hair and with it, the pins holding my cascading curls put in place by Kameron. I look and feel certifiably crazy.
My heart is beating erratic. My throat tightens and I struggle to breathe.
Strangled gasps leave me. My eyes bulge open from lack of air and I find myself tangled in my bed sheet. Sweat covering my skin. Moving my head from side to side, looking at my bedroom wardrobe and bed side table confirms that I am having that nightmare. The exact same one I have had each night since boarding the plane from Las Vegas back to Sydney. That was three days ago. Gone is the consuming dream about the many men using my body for their pleasures, replaced with Sokolov taunting me by owning me.
My thoughts were clear when I was put on the jet.
Alex is safe.
His loved ones are no longer exposed.
He won’t be disgraced or hurt by my family’s mistakes. Killing my father and protecting my family from knowing I was the driving force is my hell to live and no one else’s. I need to find inner strength to eradicate my life of its dirtiness so I can move on to a life I want to live. I need to accept the harsh reality that Alex will never want anything more to do with me, but being brave enough to put a plan into action is failing me. My heart is splintered and lost without Alex’s power by my side.
I’ve written multiple messages to Alex, asking for forgiveness, professing how I need him, how we fit together, how he is my Heaven, but I haven’t sent one of them. He doesn’t deserve to be brought into this existence and risk everything he has ever worked for. I can’t ask him to do that for me.
Jules, my best friend and colleague, the one who has kept me sane through my ordeals, checks up on me every few hours. She talks to me, putting my mental state back together again. I explained the full story to her about Las Vegas and Alex. Hearing the words out loud reminded me of what a disaster I created. It’s lucky, J & I Events, our events management business, is quiet for the next few weeks with only preparation for small events to be completed. My mind isn’t up for work or talking to the public. I’m letting her down. But with the nightly visions and my body not caring and afraid to venture out, I am content to lay around the house. Shutting myself out from any evil plotting against me in the vast outside world.
Dimitri will be waiting for me to go back to him and make things right, if that is possible after my betrayal. It has to be…
I can’t imagine what he is waiting for.
I told Isla to trust me. To believe in me. Demanding that she could tell me anything. Because everything would be fine. That I would never leave her side.
And that’s precisely what I have done.
My first priority, must be her safety.
Fuck… Ripping me apart is the knowledge that I told her to leave. The desperation and sadness in her eyes undid me, not her revelation about how Dimitri abused her. Christ… How has she survived through these ordeals? Keeping her family together and shielding herself at the same time?
Determination and strength…
I pray she stays strong enough to endure this hell. Until I rid this world of this evil and we can be one again. Where we belong.