Chapter Thirteen
A balmy breeze wafted up the hill, carrying with it the rustle of leaves and the eternal song of the ocean waves. The heady scent of plumeria perfumed the entire veranda. Lily leaned back on the chaise, enjoying the heat of the day.
Soon enough, she’d be back home, wondering if the day would bring rain, snow, or a mixture of both. Until recently, she’d never considered living anywhere else, but somewhere warm would be a plus. Maybe it would distract her from the lost feeling she had whenever Jake was gone. Even now, relaxing in paradise, she wished she had some reason to go with him.
With a sigh, Lily began to wonder if when it came down to it, she’d be able to move on. She’d never marry him, but she couldn’t see herself leaving him, either. She tried to read the book she’d carried outside after lunch, but tiny yellow birds hopping from one feathered fern to the next were far more interesting.
A glass shattered inside the house, catching her attention. Lily rose and walked inside. Thalia sat in a cane chair, clutching her chest, her face pale. Lily rushed to her, careful of the shards beneath her feet. Mikayla raced into the room with a glass of water in one hand and two bottles of pills in the other as Lily reached the older woman.
Confused by the situation, Lily could only watch as Thalia struggled to gulp down one pill and then hold another beneath her tongue. She held Thalia’s hand, her gaze bouncing between the two women. Neither of them looked at her. They were both mesmerized by the television. Lily tried to see what caught their attention on the midday news, but the weather couldn’t have caused this kind of reaction.
“Do we need to call someone?” Lily asked, wondering what kind of attack Thalia was having.
“Don Kalama,” Thalia got out on a whisper. “He’ll know who to call. Maybe he’ll even go looking.”
Lily knit her brows, more baffled than ever. “Who is—”
“Sshh!” Thalia held up her hand as the news anchor appeared on the screen again.
The words Lily heard sent an icy chill down her spine. Helicopter crash. Into the ocean. Four missing. Pilot Joe Akana radioed a hydraulic problem.
Her body tensed and froze at the familiar name. The man she’d seen talking with Jake last night. About flight arrangements. She forced herself to breathe, wanting nothing more than to run into the ocean herself.
“If you’ll stay with her, I’ll call Don.”
Lily blinked to awareness, nodding at Mikayla. It wasn’t as if she could go anywhere, the older woman’s grip on her hand had tightened like a vice. Her pursed lips had gone white, making Lily doubly nervous.
“We need to stay calm, Thalia. Until we know something, we can’t think the worst.” Lily was glad for the numbness taking over her body. It almost made her voice steady. “He’s a very strong swimmer. I once watched him swim laps for an hour.”
Thalia’s face softened. “I’m glad he found you, Lily. He so deserves to be happy.” She tried to say more, but emotions overran her and she began to cry. It was all Lily could do not to join her.
“Don’s going to make some calls and get back to us.” Mikayla came into the room and placed a hand on Thalia’s shoulder. “You need to lie down. I called Dr. Ferber, and he’ll be by within the hour.”
Thalia merely nodded, allowing the nurse to help her out of the room. Lily was thankful for the broken glass. It gave her something to do with her body while her mind reeled. Jake was a strong swimmer; her covert appreciation of him had taught her that. But swimming out from a helicopter crash was entirely different than laps in the pool at the house.
She sank onto the couch after cleaning up, pulling her knees to her chest as she stared at the television. The newscast had ended, and a daytime game show was trying to spread happiness in a house where there was none.
She should have gone with him. If he could make a case for her tagging along to sites in the snow, she could have talked him into it. But she’d wanted to avoid him, wanted to keep him thinking she wasn’t consumed with love for him, wanted to get away from the powerful pull that had her dreaming about marrying a man with an inscrutable view of marriage vows.
Bitter tears tracked down her cheeks as she gave in to the emotions swirling around her. She’d lost him, too. Losing her mother before she got a chance to know her always had Lily feeling alone. Her father’s death was still a fresh wound, one Jake had done so much to help heal. Losing him as well was too much to bear. With her mother, she’d been too young to realize what was happening. Her father’s illness had given them time to say goodbye, but this?
How could she ever forgive herself for not letting him know how she felt? Anger blazed within at her own stubbornness. With the life Jake had lived, how could she have added to the list of people who withheld their affection and approval from him? It made her as bad as his parents and more ashamed of herself then she’d ever been.
She covered her face, the engagement ring rubbing against her cheek. She looked down at the ring, glad she’d done at least that much for him.
Lily sat frozen on the couch, numb as the local channel ran through their daytime schedule with little news of the accident. She regained her composure as people came to the house. The doctor even brought her a bottle of pills to help her sleep, but she didn’t want to dream, so she didn’t dare try them.
Each time she heard a slamming car door, she cringed they might bring the news she feared. By nightfall, they’d gotten word that three of the passengers had been rescued and were recovering at the hospital. Since they hadn’t been informed Jake was among them, Lily was grateful his grandmother had been given a sedative. She knew she’d have to, but she wasn’t sure how she’d break the news to Thalia. It was one thing to have to think of life without him, quite another to give voice to such drive and vitality being snuffed out for no reason at all.
“Lily, I’m going to go to bed. Is there anything you need before I turn in?” Mikayla’s sympathetic smile had little effect.
Lily shook her head. “Will Thalia be all right?”
“For the night. The doctor will be back in the morning. You will stay, won’t you?”
“Of course.” It was the least she could do for a man who’d done so much for her.
She sat for a few more minutes, her mind starting to work through a list of all the people she’d need to call tomorrow with the news. She didn’t want to go there yet, didn’t want to make it true when it still felt unreal. She wandered outside and looked up at the night sky. The moon glowed big and ripe, stars twinkling in a sky so soft it looked like velvet.
Geckos chirped, and the sound of the surf was louder now that night had taken over for the busy day. Headlights turned up the drive, and her stomach tensed again. She realized how much she’d appreciated Mikayla’s detached interference throughout the day. Now it was solely up to her to get whatever details were to be provided and relay them to Thalia in the morning.
The car slowed, and Lily’s heart skipped a beat as she caught sight of the passenger. Her feet froze in disbelief for a moment, but she decided if she had fallen asleep and started to dream, she was going to live this one out fully.
She broke into a run as the car door opened, her mind seeing nothing but Jake as he climbed out and stared at her. He looked just as he had this morning at breakfast, as if a day of panic hadn’t touched him at all.
She launched herself into his arms when she was close enough, squeezing him until she knew he wasn’t in her imagination. His scent of sun and soap filled her lungs, giving her the first taste of calm she’d had in hours. In that moment of reprieve, her vow not to let herself become undone by him shattered. She was his to do with what he would, for all the moments time allowed them.
“Thanks, Don.” Jake’s voice vibrated through her, but she couldn’t let go. Not yet. The car drove away, and yet they stayed rooted on the grassy drive.
“I was so afraid,” she whispered against his chest. “When I saw the car, I thought they’d found you, and I’d have to tell her.”
His posture straightened, tension palpable within him. “Thalia is a strong woman, and Mikayla can take very good care of her.”
Lily eased her grip just enough to be able to look up at him. “What happened to you?”
“Joe dropped me off on Niihau. He got into some trouble on the way back, but Don says they’ll all be fine.”
“You weren’t on the helicopter when it crashed?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t know there’d been a crash until Don landed on the island. I thought it was best to come straight home rather than phoning first. Is Thalia still awake?”
“She should be out until morning. Mikayla had a doctor come and check her, and they gave her a sedative.”
He nodded. “Okay. You should get some rest.”
“I can’t.” She held him tighter, hating the trembling need in her voice. “I thought you were gone, and I was truly alone this time.”
“None of that now. I’m here.” He took her face in his hands, wiping away tears she hadn’t known she’d shed. “You’d be fine on your own. Maybe better even. You’d get the house.”
“I don’t want the house.” She choked on a sob and buried her face in his chest again to try and hide.
Jake gathered her close, resting his head on her hair while she calmed down again. “If I’d known what was going on, I would have gotten word to you. This holiday was supposed to be peaceful, and I’ve managed to throw both you and my grandmother into a panic.”
“It’s not your fault. Besides, we’ll be fine now.” She took a deep breath and wiped her face.
He hesitated, measuring her for a moment. “Have you eaten anything today?”
She couldn’t help the smile that came to her face. “I’m not going to faint, I promise. But you must be hungry, all day on that island.”
“It’s not deserted, just not open to the public. Hawaiian hospitality is wonderful, especially when they want you to invest. They want to have a few helicopters of their own, and the privacy would be unparalleled.”
Panic seized her anew. “I don’t want you in a helicopter for a while, okay?”
“I took one back.” He grinned down at her. “You best be careful, angel. I’m tempted to think there’s a reason why you’re so shaken.”
Denying it now would be impossible. She reached down and took his hand in hers. “Show me your bungalow.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I want us to talk once we get home. We’ll sort it all out then, not here.”
“You don’t want to be with me?” Her chest tightened as she said the words of her greatest fear. Maybe the reason he knew he’d always need other women was because she’d never measure up to the ones he’d already known.
The heartrending tenderness of his gaze eased her worries. “I will always want to be with you, angel.”
She took a few steps toward the path to the bungalow and turned, still holding on to his hand. “Then show me the bungalow.”
…
His body hummed with anticipation. Usually, he was so in tune with her, he could use her apprehension to rein himself in, but now he felt only eagerness. Whether his, hers, or both of theirs, he didn’t know, but he’d denied himself for so long her fervent willingness stretched his nerves until they were taut as bow strings.
He needed her and had for so long the ache had become a part of his existence. The thought they might finally sate the urge filled his mind with the taste of her skin, the feel of her body beneath his. He took the lead as they walked to the bungalow, not because he was entirely sure this was the right move to make, but because if he didn’t move faster, they might never make it up the stairs.
“It’s like a tree house,” Lily said as they rounded the bend in the path.
“It’s on stilts, not in the trees. It makes for more privacy and a better view. Off the veranda, you can lean over and pick bananas, avocados, or papayas. It’s like you’re suspended above the world.”
The urge to take the stairs two at a time was overwhelming, but he slowed his pace, letting Lily pause to look out at the jungle canopy as the stairs turned. Her profile in the moonlight taunted him. He wanted her with a desperation he’d never known, but he wanted her willing, not because her emotions were on overload after today’s scare. Still, it had to mean something that she’d been upset, that she’d wanted to come with him at all.
He opened the door at the top of the stairs and turned on the light. He wondered about candles, about setting a scene for her, but decided to let her decide what she wanted.
She stood in the doorway, her shoulders relaxing as she smiled. “It’s perfect. Open and romantic, but not overdone. You should do more original design work.”
“It’s more interesting to fix other people’s mistakes or to bring back something that was too long neglected. Besides, there are too many possibilities in designing something new, unless you know exactly what you want.” He took her hand and led her into the room. “Do you know what you want, angel?”
She nodded, then turned and flipped off the light. “The moon is enough, and I don’t want Mikayla to see the light is on and investigate.”
“She’s not—” Her soft finger against his lips stopped his explanation.
“In love with you? Yeah, I figured that out today, among other things.” Her hands were trembling as she took his. “I’m in love with you, and I have been for a while. You were right about me being jealous. I can hardly breathe when I think of you with someone else. But that doesn’t matter now. All day I wished that I’d told you, that you’d known. I didn’t want to lose you while you thought I was indifferent to you.”
He pulled her closer. “You’ve never been indifferent. There’s a thin line between love and hate. We just need to keep you on this side.”
“I never hated you, I swear. I couldn’t handle my reaction to you, so I lashed out. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to be honest about how I feel. I love you.”
“I love you, too, angel. I’ve never said that to another woman.” A weight lifted off his chest even as his gut clenched. Finally, she loved him. It was what he’d wanted for so long.
Lily blinked, surprise lighting her eyes. “You don’t have to—”
“I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I sought you out to prove myself wrong, but from the moment I touched you, I knew that it was real, that no one else would ever do. I’ve put the house in your name. It’s yours. No matter how this thing between us turns out, it’ll always be your home.”
She stared at him for a long moment. “Jake…”
He didn’t want to talk anymore, didn’t want to risk the moment getting away from him. The admission made him feel raw and exposed. He raised his hands to her face, tilting it so that he could slide his mouth against hers. She opened for him, her tongue circling his while her hands crept up his body to undo the buttons of his shirt.
He broke the kiss and fanned his thumbs along her cheeks. “What do you want, angel? I’ll give you whatever you want.”
“I want you to make love to me. I want to fall asleep knowing that you’re with me.”
“We can just sleep if—”
“No. Please.” Her voice began to tremble. “If pity is all you have to give, I’ll take it.”
His heart ached for her, for what they’d done to each other, for each other. “You don’t think you’re enough?”
“I wish I were.” Tears stung her eyes as she played with the ring he’d put on her finger.
The bed sank where Jake sat next to her. His fingers slid beneath her chin, lifting her face until she was forced to look him in the eyes. “Go ahead and ask me. I’ll defend myself this once. But I won’t spend our lives doing it. If you can’t trust me, it’s not going to work anyway.”
“How can you expect me to trust you when you’ve made it clear all along you intend to take a mistress whenever you want?”
He shook his head. “I never said that. You accused me of it.”
“You didn’t deny it!”
“I’m denying it now. There will be no one else, for either of us.”
It felt like her mind was caught in the spin cycle. She’d spent the last month struggling to come to terms with this, and he was saying it wasn’t an issue. “What about Dee?”
“Dee is my friend. I’ve known her since middle school, and I financed her boutiques, but that’s all.”
“But the papers said—”
“And they will again. I can’t control that. That’s why it’s important you believe me now.”
She knit her brow, wanting more than anything for this to be the truth. “Dee said—”
“I can’t control that, either. I don’t know what she implied, but she did it in hopes of protecting me. She thinks you’re after my bank account.”
Lily sat up straighter. “I don’t want your money.”
“I know. But Dee can’t understand what your other motivation could be.” His sardonic grin caught her off-guard.
“You really haven’t slept with her?”
He shook his head. “I’m not saying I’ve always lived like a monk, but since I met you, there’s been no one else.”
She stared up at him. “Why would you let me believe otherwise?”
He shrugged. “You wanted to. We had so many battles to fight, I didn’t think starting there would be productive.”
“You had Dee to the house.”
He rolled his eyes. “You invited her.”
“I thought—” She rubbed her face. “I don’t know what I thought.”
“You were jealous, and while we’re confessing things, I baited you into it. Jealousy was the only encouragement you gave me, and so I took it.”
“Why not just tell me the truth?” She watched as his face clouded with apprehension.
“I told you, but you didn’t believe me. Even now, after all we’ve shared, you’re still struggling.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. Without trust, you can’t believe anything. My parents had their issues, but trust was the big one. He always thought there were other men. It didn’t matter what she said or what she did. He didn’t trust her, so he couldn’t believe her. If you don’t trust me, there’s nowhere for us to go.”
She closed her eyes and smiled, her nerves finally calming. When she opened her eyes and looked up at him, everything fell into place.
“So you’ll trust me?” The morning light glimmered over his handsome face like beams of pure happiness.
“At home. I’ve seen you get creative with the truth in business.” She pulled him close and down for a quick kiss.
“Angel, are you sure? I don’t want to be something you regret.”
She looked up at him, her eyes glistening. “I regret that we haven’t been together already.”
He had to trust her, here and now. He took her hand and led her across the room to bed. He kissed her again, smiling when she went back to the buttons on his shirt.
He covered her slim hands with his own. “Anticipation is one of the best parts of making love.”
“I don’t believe you.” She grinned, and a shiver of delight raced through him. “I think I want you to work at proving yourself wrong. We’ve had too much anticipation.”
“There can never be enough. Don’t you want me more now than you did before we came upstairs?” He undid the buttons of the white eyelet blouse she wore with deliberate slowness.
“Yes, but—”
“And now?” He pushed the shirt off her shoulders and ran his fingers beneath the straps of her satin bra. He undid the front clasp, opening her up like a present.
She shook her head, her eyes gleaming with a brazenness he’d never seen. Her fingers made quick work of his buttons and pushed his shirt away. She took a step closer so that the hardened tips of her nipples brushed against his chest. She closed her eyes, tilted her head to one side and began to sway, each subtle movement grazing against him.
“Now I want you more.” Her lips quirked in a seductive grin. She opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. “If you lose the pants, I’ll let you have your way with me.” She leaned closer until he could feel her breath against his ear. “If you take much longer, I might even beg.”
He groaned and dragged her down onto the bed. She kicked off her sandals along the way, making it easy for him to remove her white capri pants. She wiggled away from him and got up on her knees.
“Do you need some help?” She reached for his jeans, and he tried to let her undo the buttons, clenching his jaw as her fingers brushed against him. Finally, it was too much, and he stood up to finish the job himself. Mischief gleamed in her gaze as she watched his every move.
“You like what you see?”
She shrugged, causing her pert breasts to bounce in invitation. “You’re the first man I’ve gotten to see naked. I’m curious.”
“Are you?” He rid himself of the rest of his clothes and joined her on the bed. He was painfully aroused, but he knew she’d need to go slow. He lay down and propped himself up on one elbow, smiling as Lily faced him and did the same thing.
The intimacy and safety of being with Jake wrapped around Lily like a drug, lulling her into brazen euphoria. “I don’t just read proper literary novels. There are things I’ve read about that have made me wonder.”
“Like what?”
“Like if you can really taste someone’s pulse thrumming in their neck.” She dipped her head, kissing his neck until she could indeed feel his pulse beneath her tongue. When she looked up, he wore an intoxicated smile that encouraged her to indulge. “And whether you’d feel the way I do when I touch your nipples.” She inched down and flicked her tongue against one flat disk, grinning as it peaked when she blew across it.
“Yours are better.” He palmed one breast, rubbing his thumb across the sensitive tip.
“Why? Because bigger is better?”
He laughed, rolling them over so that he was on top, his muscular thigh sliding between her legs. “You’re amazing.”
“I want to feel amazing.” Her body filled with such a charge of excitement, a frantic rush of desire to be with him completely flooded through her. He was here, and alive, and in this moment, he was hers completely.
She indulged her every desire to touch him, to feel the corded and bunched power of his muscles beneath his warm skin. She wanted to learn his body, but thought flew from her mind as his hands began their own exploration.
Skilled expertise won out, and she gave herself over to the heady flash of sensations he rained down on her body. She threaded her fingers through his hair while he worked her nipple until her legs began to twitch. His fingers plucked at the bud while he turned his attentions to her other breast. She twisted and bowed her body, trying to ease the ache that came from not receiving what she really craved.
He must have sensed her frustration, because soon one hand was tugging down her panties. She wriggled her hips to help him, thankful when she could kick them off the side of the bed and be completely bare to him. His hand slipped between her thighs, and she relaxed them open, enjoying the warmth spreading throughout her body.
His fingers played her body like a finely tuned instrument, showing her nuances of pleasure she’d never imagined. While he strummed the bud of her sex, his finger slid inside her, filling her with the most exquisite sensation.
The feel of his skin beneath her hands wasn’t enough, so she reached for him, bringing his face to hers for a kiss deeper than any she’d ever experienced. Another finger stretched her, and she opened for it the way she did for his kiss. She moaned into his mouth as her hips began to follow the rhythm he set. He moved within her, the pleasure reaching a crest that broke all around her, releasing tension throughout her body and filling her mind with pure bliss.
His hands roamed up her body, leaving quivering trails of desire in their wake. From beneath her lust-induced fog, she tangled her legs with his, trying to pull him as close as possible.
“Please, Jake.” Already, her body was throbbing for more, throbbing for him. She’d never imagined it would be this way, that she could feel so safe and out of control at the same time. Running her hands down the smooth muscles of his back, she found the rise of his bottom and pulled him against her.
“Are you ready?” his voice rasped in her ear.
“Yes, please, yes,” she whispered on a moan.
He moved over her, his body pressing hers into the soft mattress until she felt the weight of him solidly above her. His erection pushed against her, rubbing along her swollen sex. She tilted her hips, watching his eyelids lower at the movement.
It gave her a rush that he wanted her, too. She wanted him completely, needed to know he was fully hers, if only for a moment. His dark gaze locked with hers as he shifted and began the slow slide into her.
Knowing he was filling her made her heart swell. Surely he could see how she felt now. He’d never again have to doubt her devotion. He pumped his hips against her, the friction building her pleasure once again.
“You’re mine, Lily.”
“Yes.” She lifted one leg and wrapped it around his hips. Now, every move he made pressed right there, pushing her toward climax.
“No one else will ever have you but me.”
“Yes.” It was the truth. Her heart belonged to him, now and always. His dark passion drove her deeper into pleasure until it seemed too much to bear. She thought she might not be able to take any more, but at that moment, all the tension in her body released. She gasped, clutching at the sheets as her vision narrowed, stars dancing behind her eyes.
She heard Jake cry out as his hips jerked against her. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on with all the strength she had left.
…
Terror gripped her throat as the dream swirled around her. Lily opened her eyes, praying for reality. Her heartbeat steadied as she stared at Jake’s bare chest, the intoxicating scent of him filling her lungs. The nightmare was over, completely.
Birds twittered outside, the early morning light beginning to rouse them. She traced the smooth lines of his chest, knowing she needed to get back to the house, to share the good news with Thalia so the older woman wouldn’t be shocked by seeing her grandson alive.
But she couldn’t let him wake up alone, not after last night. She nuzzled into his neck, kissing the saltiness from his skin. She wished she had half his skill. Maybe in time she’d learn how to wake him up so that he’d open his eyes wanting her.
“Careful, angel.” Jake’s voice was rough with morning. “As much as I’d love to stay here all day, we do have to go to the house.”
“A few more minutes, then I’ll go. I’ll tell her and then you can come in, that way she won’t get a shock.” She grinned up at him and then rested her head on his chest so she could hear his heart beating. Today it was the most reassuring sound in the world.
“You are more amazing than I thought you would be.”
She giggled. “Glad I could exceed your expectations.”
His hand swatted her butt beneath the sheet. “That, too, but I meant who you are. I’m still sorry for how scared you both must have been yesterday, but I’m glad you were here for Thalia.”
“Me, too.” Lily lifted her head, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. “You know, if you’re still free on New Year’s Eve, we could stay here.”
“Why Lily Harris, are you proposing to me?” His gaze clung to hers, studying her reaction.
“Only if you’re planning on accepting.”
“Where’s my ring?” He grinned, running his fingers through her hair.
“Would you wear one?”
His brows knit together. “Of course. We can pick one out today. I’m glad you’re willing to get married so soon. A few months ago, I’d have thought you’d want to put on a show of a wedding, but now I know something here would suit you more.”
“And you. Besides, we’ll come back here often, so we can relive the memory over and over. At some reception hall things can be torn down as quickly as they go up.”
“That’s very romantic of you, but you don’t have to convince me. Thalia might slap me on the back of the head if we wait too long.”
Lily laughed at the image. “We won’t wait at all then. ”
He kissed her softly. “You’ll never regret it, Lily, I promise.”
“I know. I once made a deal with the devil and wound up in heaven instead.”
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