Twenty-Four
next morning found Damien up and out of bed before the sun rose above the horizon. It was the day he was leaving with Kain to start training with him in preparation of his upcoming fight with Nathaniel.
Even though it wasn’t something Damien looked forward to, he knew it was the only way he was going to get the overly narcissistic alpha off his case.
Since he woke up from his encounter with Barghast in his mind, everyone in the camp had been referring to him as “my lord” and bowing. It made him feel strange, afraid he may let them down in the end.
Damien made his way down to the pool that Kain asked him to meet only to find he was alone.
“Kain?” He started looking around.
“I’m here.” Kain came out from behind a large boulder that served as a barrier to the pool. His mid-length dirty blonde hair was a disheveled mess. His shoulders marred with new gashes resembling claw marks.
The usual purple circles under his eyes were so dark, his emerald green eyes were almost lost in their darkness.
“Kain! What in God’s name happened?” Damien asked, running to Kain’s side to help support him.
“It’s alright. It looks worse than it feels. Are you ready to begin your training?” Kain held his hand up to stop Damien, walking as though nothing was wrong. He held onto his usual pride and confidence despite how much pain he had to have been in.
“Kain, we don’t have to do this. You look like you’re not feeling well.”
Stopping mid-footfall, Kain spoke over his shoulder. “Damien, trust me. I will be fine. There is no way in sun’s hell I’m letting you forfeit to someone like Nathaniel. Now come with me.”
The rest of the walk went in silence. Damien spent most of the time staring at his friend’s back. It was covered with a mix of old healed scars and new fresh gashes down the length of his back. Some even wrapped around his hips.
It was the same on his chest and arms. Whatever it was doing this, it was obviously trying to kill him.
Kain led Damien through the forest until they reached an open meadow. The grass was as soft as bamboo sheets; green and fresh like it had just been watered by the spring rains.
A fading mist weaved in and out of the grass, dissipating with the rising sun. The air was brisk and cool in contrast with the winter back at the camp. It smelled like fresh lavender and jasmine. The sun shone warm above them.
It felt like it was a different world.
Lying far in the background was a ring of mountains. The horizon masked them purple and pink with the sun peeking over the ridges.
“Kain, what is this place?” Damien asked in awe, taking in the landscape.
His eyes came to fall upon a large circle of stones shaped liked large ovals. Carved into each of them were different symbols, almost like the runes that Rob showed him in some of the PC games he played.
“This is one of the oldest temples to our gods built when we arrived here. With the arrival of man, we had to flee from this place since they built a settlement so close by. Surprisingly, they haven’t found it. It is believed that as if by some power or magic, it’s hidden from the eyes of man. The perfect place to train a new lycan,” Kain took the remains of his shirt off, hanging it on the branch of a nearby tree. “Damien, tell me something. Why have you not tried to change yet?”
“I’m not sure I can. I haven’t felt any different since Jill bit me,” Damien replied, his fists clenched tightly against his sides. His chest tightened as the nervousness at what he was about to say filled him. “To be honest, I think I’m afraid to. I’m not sure why.”
“Fear and uncertainty,” Kain lowered his head, slightly sighing and half-chuckling. Damien’s eyes met Kain’s. “That’s all I heard.”
Kain took a thin piece of tattered material out of his pocket, making his way over to Damien. “Tie this around your eyes. If fear is what is blinding you to your true potential, then it is that fear we must eliminate first. To a human, darkness is the most terrifying entity so it is darkness that you need to face.”
Hesitant but trusting Kain, Damien tied the makeshift blindfold around his head, instantly blinding him from the beauty around him. Chills ran up his spine as uncertainty met uneasy anticipation at what Kain’s intentions were.
“Now that your eyes have been taken out of the picture, it is time for you to see the world the way we do. Lycans rarely rely on sight since we hunt in such darkened conditions and often have to see our prey even before it is visible.” Kain laid his hands on Damien’s shoulders, gently guiding them down.
“Relax your mind and body. Feel everything around you. The breeze, the grass, the rustling of the leaves. Hear the sounds of the birds, the padding of deer hooves in the distance. Then will you understand what it feels like to see the world. Only blinded can you truly see the beauty of Gaia.”
Damien tried hard to focus as he was being instructed, his body tensing as he tried to force his new senses to adapt.
Disappointment leaked its way into his mind, making him feel as though he was failing just as he feared he would.
“I…I can’t do this. I knew I couldn’t meet everyone’s expectations. I let them down. I let you down, Kain.”
“Stop trying to resist. Your whole life you have been led to believe you needed to pretend to be something you are not. Stop trying to be human. You are not one. You never were. Up to this point, I have been easing you into this but it is time I was honest. I will break you, Damien.”
A short gasp escaped Damien’s throat, his heart beating faster as he fought hard to keep a hold on his trust that Kain wasn’t going to hurt him. “Break me?”
“Yes. I will break you but I will rebuild you into something stronger. I am not as patient as Jillian when it comes to training someone. There is a reason why Gabriel reacted the way he did when I told you I was going to train you. You won’t be going back to Jillian until you are trained.”
****
At the end of the day, Damien was on his knees, exhausted and upset at his repeated failures.
“I can’t do this, dammit!” He slammed his fists into the ground, grinding his teeth at the fact he wouldn’t be able to get back to his mate’s side because he couldn’t get his head on straight.
Kain knelt down beside him, his hand resting on his shoulder. “Easy. You are much stronger than you think you are. I promise you, by the time this is over, you will come to realize it yourself.”
The full moon rose above them, signaling the arrival of the night. The soft breeze whispered through the trees. Owls hooted in the distance while loons called gently from the lakes.
“I have to hunt now.”
Damien’s head shot up, surprised. “You’re leaving me here?”
“Of course. I told you, did I not? What better way to train your instincts than being forced to use them. If you get tired, sleep in the center of the stones. You will be safe there. I will return in the morning.”
Kain shifted into his wolf form, shaking his muscles against the discomfort of the gashes.
Damien was in awe at the large sandy haired wolf standing before him. He felt strange inside. Like something was trying to get out.
It wasn’t until his eyes met Kain’s in his full wolf form that he felt a burn in his chest. It was different from the burn inflicted on him by the dark god. This one felt comfortable. As if it was meant to be there.
Kain lifted his head, howling to the moon. The sound echoed against the trees and the range of mountains around them. The aura surrounding him filled with a primal power.
Kain’s eyes once again met Damien’s, almost smiling. He turned and sprinted off towards the woods.
****
Alone, Damien wandered through the woods in search of something he could have for dinner. His stomach was so empty it hurt, making him feel nauseous. The headache he’d developed after Kain left him began throbbing behind his skull. The burn he felt earlier still nagged him inside.
He was so dazed, he lost his footing, sliding down a steep incline. Rolling across broken branches, sharp rocks, wet leaves and dirt, Damien landed in a small brook.
Tired and hungry, he felt content just lying there. His spirit felt weakened. His hope crumbled that he would ever come to understand anything about himself.
Barely able to stand, he forced himself to his hands and knees, crawling out of the water only to fall to his stomach.
Jill. I’m sorry. I failed you. I failed Kain. I failed everyone.
Damien closed his eyes, furious. His thoughts turned to Jill. Her warm body snuggling alone in their bed back at the camp. How worried she must be. How he longed to be next to her, making love to her, kissing her soft lips. The heat of her body as her pleasure rose beneath his fingers and lips.
A soft howl rose above the wind’s shrieking wails. The sound familiar and comforting. I love you. Come back to me soon. It was Jill’s howl.
Determination overtook uncertainty as Damien forced himself to his feet, ignoring the pangs of hunger and exhaustion to make it back to the circle of stones Kain told him to rest in.
Damien only barely made it back when the sun began to rise behind him. The first night a horrible reminder of just how little he knew about his new abilities.
He fell to the ground, curling up to try and catch some sleep before Kain came back. Jill’s words on the wind served as his only comfort against the cold of his wet clothes and broken spirit.
The smell of something cooking woke Damien up from his exhausting, restless sleep.
Kain sat by a newly lit fire with a small black pot hanging on a makeshift spit while fish roasted on a grill grate. It smelled wonderful. Damien’s stomach growled so loud, Kain turned around.
“Well good morning. From the looks of you, I’d say the first night didn’t go so well.” He let out a slight chuckle.
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. You make this look so easy,” Damien sat down across from his friend, his eyes locked on the dancing flames in front of him. “Kain, I don’t know if I can do this. Last night, I didn’t feel anything but a slight burn inside after I stared into your eyes.”
“That’s a start. The wolf inside of you must be something if you can’t see him yet. Usually most of us are able to change as soon as the pain disappears.” Kain handed him a bowl of the stew he was cooking and two roasted fish.
Curious, Damien broached the subject he’d long been curious about since Jill mentioned it. “Kain, have you ever changed anyone?”
Kain stopped what he was doing. His eyes locked on the flames and the bubbling stew in the pot. “Yes.”
“Where are they?”
Kain closed his eyes, sighing. “I…had to kill them.”
“I’m…sorry. May I ask why?” Damien took a sip of the stew, amazed at how good it was. Jill hadn’t been lying. Kain could cook amazingly well. It took he had not to gulp it down in a single swallow.
“In the middle of the change, they turned into a werewolf and tried to kill me. It’s not a pleasant feeling, Damien. It’s why most of us don’t turn someone unless we know they won’t become monsters. Kyle was worried that you may become a werewolf after you didn’t wake up for so long,” Kain took his own bite of fish, offering Damien some water. “I told him I would end you myself if that became the case, knowing Jillian couldn’t do it. For now, my friend, eat and regain your strength. We will begin again when you are ready.”
Damien watched as Kain rose to his feet. There was something about him that demanded respect. Something powerful Damien couldn’t wrap his head around.
****
After breakfast, Kain had Damien once again blindfolded. Only this time, he made Damien remove his shirt so he could feel everything around him.
Kain coached Damien through how his body needed to feel. How he needed to relax and realize that the darkness held no fear.
Slowing his breathing, Damien remembered Jill’s howl. He understood the words she said over the wind.
The burn inside of him expanded to his muscles as his mind’s eye took a large shape. It’s eyes the piercing amethyst color of his own. It was just within reach but still so far away.
The hours passed by, changing the golden rays of the sun into the pale silver and grays of the night.
“The moon rises, Damien. It is time for me to leave you. You did well. Your senses are developing nicely. Try to make tonight easier. I will return in the morning.” Kain began tying the jacket he usually wore around his waist.
Instead of the feral wolf of the first night, Damien now locked eyes with the same image he’d seen when he’d encountered Chelsea.
Kain stood on muscular legs bent at the knees. His thighs and calves bulged with hard muscle. Torn and tattered jeans hung off of his knees. His chest bare and sculpted. The faded crest of what looked like a medieval wolf holding a shield engraved on his left hip.
Damien was awestruck by the beast above him. He was the spitting image of Tenebris from the vision he’d had when Barghast fought his brother in the burning meadow.
The huge lycan howled. Only this time, it was almost like a song. Soft and melodious despite the ferocity of the beast it came from.
Kain sprinted away as graceful as a marathon runner into the woods.
Great, how badly can I mess tonight up? I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do. Damien thought, mentally preparing himself for the no-doubt horrible night to come.
Damien went back to the fire to sit down and watch the flickering flames. His mind focused on the huge shape he saw in the training with Kain earlier. That’s what I can do.
Blindfolding himself, Damien sat in the meditation pose Kain taught him to relax his mind and become more aware of the landscape around him.
At first his body tried to force his instincts to adjust, bringing about a sense of frustration. His chest tightened as his desire to give in almost took control. Damien took the blindfold off, cursing under his breath. Why can’t I figure out something that should be so natural to me? What the hell is wrong with me?
Looking up at the moon, Damien had to choke back the uneasy sensation nagging at him. What if he couldn’t ever change? He’d let everyone he knew and come to care about down. They’d be in danger. Jill would be in danger if he couldn’t pull himself together.
Jill. Damien laid down on his back, his eyes locked on the glowing orb in the sky. A sense of warmth falling over him as he felt his mind being pulled into sleep.