Chapter Thirty
Two days remained until the final battle at the Circle of Stones. Damien spent most of his time at Kain’s side preparing both the soldiers and the lycans that would be left behind. Each one looked more uneasy than the last.
“Kain, they look scared. Do you think they have faith in the plan we have?” Damien watched each face as they walked passed him. Hopelessness and despair seemed to loom in each eye.
“That is normal, Damien. For many of them this is the first time they have seen battle in centuries. For others, they have never experienced one since arriving in the new world. That is why they came here in the first place. Take some time to rest and be with Jillian.” Kain replied, holding his signature confidence in times of turmoil.
Damien couldn’t help his own inner feeling of discord at the upcoming war. He had nightmares almost every night after the meeting with Lilith. Even going as far as to entertain the idea of surrendering himself to end things peacefully.
Calen made his way beside Damien after he sat on the log in front of the main campfire. His mother sat on the log next to him.
“My lord, I wanted to thank you personally for saving Calen’s life. If there is anything I can do to return the favor, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
Damien looked at her, smiling. She always had such a soft face despite the fact he never saw her with a mate. “Where’s Calen’s father?”
She lowered her head, her hands clasped in her lap. She grimaced, her eyes squeezing shut. “My mate is dead, my lord. He fought in a battle much like this one many moons ago.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It was none of my business.” Damien picked Calen up, holding him in his arms. The pup hugged Damien with his paws on his shoulder.
She smiled. “He loves you. Please don’t apologize, my lord. It’s been a while since someone has asked. You bring us hope. Thank you for coming. I had begun to think we had been forsaken.”
“I’m…” Damien paused. He still held doubts that he could do what everyone expected of him. Calen looked up at him, his tail wagging. Damien pet his head, smiling. “I’m glad I could help.”
The mother smiled, taking Calen. “Alright you rascal, it’s your nap time. Leave Lord Damien alone for once, will you?”
Gabriel took her seat after she left. He had a piece of straw sticking out of his mouth. “Have to hand it to you, that’s the first time I’ve seen Zasha smile in a while. I have to thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome but what does that mean?” Damien asked, puzzled.
“Zasha was my brother’s mate. He lost his life just before we moved to the States in a vampire attack. She always had such a bright smile until he died. Then she rarely ever smiled.”
A small gasp escaped Damien’s throat. “Gabriel, I didn’t know you had a brother. I’m sorry about your loss.”
“It’s okay. Azazel never was one to crumble under too much pressure. If it weren’t for him and a few others staying behind we probably wouldn’t have been able to get out alive,” Gabriel took the straw out of his mouth. “Look, as much as I hate to admit it, you have brought light back to the packs around here. It was dark and hopeless until you came. I’m sorry I was such a jerk.”
“It’s okay. I keep telling everyone I’m no one special. I’m still not sure how to take all of the ‘my lord’ and ‘my alpha’ comments.”
Gabriel burst out laughing. “Don’t sweat it. Just take the compliments. Kain told me what you did for him. From the bottom of my heart, Damien, thank you. You may have saved my life too.”
Before Damien could inquire about what Gabriel meant by yet another cryptic comment, Jill wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
“You seem deep in thought. I saw you talking to Zasha. Do you know who she is?”
Damien nodded, reaching up behind him to touch Jill’s face. “I’m nervous, Jill.”
Jill made her way around the log. Standing above her mate, she held her hands out. “Come. You need comfort. You won’t find it out here with everyone staring.”
Damien got up, letting Jill lead him to their tent.
****
Once inside, Jill led Damien to the bed. “Wait here. I have something Leah wanted me to give you when the time was right. I think now might be the time.”
Jill walked behind the separating curtain Yuna got her as a welcome present to the pack. Her silken body nothing but a solid shape as she got undressed.
“Jill, do you ever wonder what things would have been like if I never came back here? Maybe you all would be able to still be at peace if I didn’t show up.” Damien still couldn’t shake the feeling that he could have been a key factor in all of the death and chaos.
Resting his elbows on his knees, he leaned forward, his hands clenched together in front of him. What if all of this is because of me? If I hadn’t come back, maybe Gabriel would still have his gym. Kain wouldn’t have been hurt and Chase would probably still be alive. What if all of this is my fault?
The shadow above him brought his attention to Jill. She wore a silken blue dress so light it almost looked white. The thin material did little to hide her slender form, hugging the curves of her body.
Damien’s mouth about fell open. “Jill. You look so beautiful. This is the first time I’ve seen you in a dress.”
Jill blushed, playing with her dark hair, pulling it to one side. “Yeah, I know. Leah said the same thing. She made it herself.”
“I’ll have to remember to thank her.” Damien pulled Jill close to him, his hands savoring her porcelain skin.
“Damien, may I come in?” Kain’s voice echoed on the other side of the door.
Damien cursed under his breath. “Yeah, just a sec.” He kissed Jill. “We’ll continue this later. I’m going to need it.”
Jill smiled, petting his face. “As am I.”
****
Kain led Damien to his tent. “Forgive my intrusion on your time with Jillian. I wanted to tell you one last thing before the fight. Holt nearly mentioned it in the meeting but I stopped him because it wasn’t the time or the place.”
“What is it?” Damien replied, curious.
“The dark secret of the vampire noble. As it is with us, the vampire nobles and high class have the ability to change into more powerful forms. Unlike lycans however, they only have a single transformation. I have only seen it once in my many years but it is very formidable.”
Kain pulled a box out from under a pile of old books and blankets. It was covered in dust as though Kain had been trying to bury the memory.
Laying it down before Damien, he opened it, revealing what looked like a talon.
“Kain, what is this?” Damien took it in his hands, carefully examining the detail.
“It was pulled out of my father’s side. When he returned, his body was dripping blood, his side ripped open,” Kain lowered his head. “Damien, he was in his full lycan form. Whatever left this has power. I want you to be very, very careful. Lilith most likely has the power to become the monster much like the one that left this talon.”
Damien’s breath stalled in his lungs. From what he learned about their history, Pentacost Kain was one of strongest lycan soldiers in the war.
To hear he was torn apart so badly in full lycan form by something that Lilith could possibly become sucked any hope Damien had of having a chance against her out of him.
“Kain, I can’t fight her. What if I’m not strong enough.” Damien raced in his chest as fear fought to take hold of him.
Kain took the talon, placing it back in the box. “Damien, you are more than strong enough. Lilith is inexperienced and most likely whatever it was that took down my father was much more powerful. I just wanted you to be aware of her ability. I will be by your side against her. Gabriel and I have already talked about it. Holt, Yuna, Galeck and Lune agree it’s the best course of action. Just be ready.”
Damien nodded, his words freezing in his throat.
“Good. The moon rises. I must hunt with Gabriel and Lune. Damien, if you need to, you may stay here tonight. I know Jillian does not yet understand how strong your bond with the gods is. It may help to be in the company of someone that does. For now, though, I believe I interrupted something between the two of you. Hell hath no fury and all that.” Kain walked out chuckling.
****
Jill rested her cheek against the warmth of Damien’s shoulder blade, her hips fitting comfortably in the grooves of his lower back.
“Damien, you’ve been silent since you came back from your visit with Kain. Is something bothering you?”
Damien couldn’t respond. His mind was plagued with doubt and chaos as he tried to find peace.
Even Jill’s warm, silken body against his back hadn’t helped ease the strain he was under.
He thought about much pain Pentacost must have been in from his wounds. How Kain must have felt seeing his father so torn apart. It must have devastated him.
“Damien. Please, let me in. What’s troubling you?” Jill ran her hand up her mate’s shoulder blade, down his arm. The tension in his muscles both concerned and stirred a sense of desire in her.
“I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore. Kain told me the nobles can transform too. I still can’t become my full lycan form. I’ve tried but I can’t seem to figure it out.”
Jill moved to sit beside him, rubbing the tense muscles of his back. “Damien, you have to let go of doubt. Remember? In order to become a true lycan, you must banish regret. Its power cannot be used for revenge, even against vampires.”
“I thought that was to prevent someone from becoming a werewolf.”
“It carries into the change. If you’re heart’s intention is to take revenge or you have doubt or regret, you can never become a true lycan.”
Damien got up from the bed. He needed some time to spend with a certain god and he knew exactly where to go. The Circle of Stones.
****
The following morning was the eve of the final battle. Holt was speaking with Kain, Gabriel, Galeck and Yuna when Damien came out of his tent, his muscles sore.
“Damien.” Kain bowed his head as Damien walked over to them.
“Morning Kain. What’d I miss?”
Kain’s eyes narrowed, almost appearing to study him. “Nothing. We were just going over the strategy one more time.”
“It looks like we’re going to have to try and push things a bit. Luckily for us, the vampires won’t be able to appear until sundown. We just have to make sure to keep morale up until we’re able to actually meet the bloodsuckers.” Holt said as he went over the rough map again with the other leaders.
“My lord, perhaps if you spoke to them. They may be inclined to keep their spirits high if they heard you encourage them.” Yuna addressed Damien who focused intently on the map in front of him.
Kain’s gaze never left Damien’s eyes.
“I will but for now, let them spend time with their families.” Damien replied, his voice devoid of the fear and uncertainty of the day before.
The leaders all nodded their agreement, dispersing to spend some time with their family and friends.
“Damien, a minute?” Kain’s voice had Damien stopping in his tracks.
“What’s up?”
“Not here. Come with me, please.” Kain led Damien to his tent. “Have a seat. I’ll make us some coffee.”
Damien sat down, puzzled as to why Kain was acting more strange than usual. When the alpha returned he sat down across from his friend.
“Damien, your eyes. I can see the change in them. Did something happen?”
“I had a word with Tenebris, Kain. I asked him for some help.”
“Regarding what?”
“Peace. I’ve been so full of doubt and confusion recently. Jill told me I would never know what it was like to be a true lycan if I didn’t clear my heart and soul of regret, revenge and doubt. I asked for help with that.” Damien focused on the floor in front of him. He’d begun to feel lighter after the god took the negative feelings from him.
“That would explain your eyes. I take it that your mind feels clearer, now?” Kain smiled.
“Yeah. It feels nice. I feel lighter. Tenebris wasn’t thrilled but he did what I asked of him.”
“That’s understandable. He doesn’t usually like to influence the feelings of his children but he has been known to do things for us he otherwise wouldn’t want to.”
The pain on Kain’s face made Damien tilt his head in question.
Kain grinned. “It’s nothing. Go be with Jillian. We start packing to leave in the morning. It will be at least a half a day’s travel with supplies on our backs.”
“Alright. Thanks, Kain. Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you but the offer for help extends both ways. If you ever need anything, ask.” Damien reached out his hand which Kain took with a warm smile.
“I will. Thank you, my friend.”