Sandy
The shower was running in the washroom just down the hall from the kitchen.
But it wasn’t Sandy using it.
Yet again she asked herself what she had gotten into, and why she kept agreeing to everything that pushed the two of them closer together. It made no sense, yet she couldn’t seem to stop it. The part of her that she’d buried three long years ago was in control now, and it didn’t have any plans to stop anytime soon. All Sandy could do was buckle up and hopefully enjoy the ride, no pun intended.
I am not going to sleep with him!
Not tonight at least. That was off the table whether she wanted to or not, for a few more days at least. Thank goodness for small miracles. However, it was leaving her body filled with hormones that told her otherwise. The worst of both worlds. She was horny as fuck and couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
They’d come back from the market and Palin had asked to shower. He’d been an angel, carrying all the bags to people’s cars when they bought things, but in the process he’d gotten soaked, and she could understand him wanting to change. Now that she could hear the water splashing around the shower though, knowing it meant he was scrubbing down that glorious body of his, she couldn’t force herself to concentrate.
“That doesn’t go there,” she said under her breath, retrieving the milk from the pantry. She stuffed it into the fridge, only to pull the box of uncooked pasta out and stuff it in the pantry.
Get your shit together, woman. He’s just a man. A sexy, gorgeous man with tight buns and a smile to swoon over, who happens to be naked and in your shower right now. But he’s still just a man. Get it? Got it? Good.
The pep-talk satisfied her. But probably not as well as Palin would.
She groaned out loud. Her mind was getting away from her, letting the secretly nasty part of her slip out. Why couldn’t Palin be like all the other good-looking guys and want absolutely nothing to do with her?
She glanced down at herself, trying to figure out what he wanted. She was slightly taller than most women, but she had broad “man-shoulders,” arms that were tanned to mid-bicep with a harsh dividing line, ratty hair that she kept dyed an unusual color, and more than a few extra pounds packed on just about everywhere they could be.
The water shut off. She could hear him moving about, and then suddenly he cursed.
“Sandy?”
She carefully put down the knife she’d grabbed to start slicing up tomatoes, glad she hadn’t been mid-stroke when he’d called her name.
“Yeah?” she called, walking over to the door.
“I forgot to get a towel.”
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
They weren’t in the washroom. They were in the linen closet.
“How convenient for you,” she said dryly, snatching one that would probably just fit around his waist. Knocking on the door, she looked away as he opened it, thrusting her hand straight out.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Close the door.”
“Why? Do you not like looking at me?”
She sighed and opened her eyes. He was standing there completely nude, holding the towel she’d just given him in front of his junk. She knew he wasn’t wearing anything else because she could see his ass in the mirror behind him.
“It’s not that,” she said hoarsely, the image of his taut ass forever imprinted in her mind. “It’s just that I think it’s inappropriate for a boss to see an employee in this state of undress.”
The thudding against her ribcage intensified when Palin’s face broke out in a wide grin. “You’re still going with that line, are you?”
“Well you certainly aren’t the boss,” she whispered, unable to force her voice louder.
Palin looked her up and down in a blatantly sexual manner. “Not yet.”
Then he shut the door in her face.
Sagging against the frame she inhaled deep, shuddering as she caught a whiff of his freshly cleaned aroma. God he smelled good from whatever body wash it was he used.
Eventually she regained the strength to move back to the kitchen and finish preparing dinner. It was simple fare tonight, spaghetti with homemade pasta sauce complete with big chunks of ground beef. It wasn’t meatballs, but that was fine.
Palin emerged from the shower dressed in light-wash jeans and a dark green V-necked T-shirt. “That smells unbelievable.”
“Thank you. It’ll be ready shortly, but not yet.”
“Some time to kill?” he teased suggestively, walking over to her.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked, trying to keep her distance as he approached.
“Whatever I want to,” he replied, keeping her pinned with his electric stare. She watched as he reached out with one hand toward her…And at the last second dipped it in the sauce and licked it off his finger with more than a bit of sexual innuendo in the motion. “Mmm. Tastes delicious.”
When the hell had the line been crossed to the point that he felt comfortable being so outwardly blatant about his sexual desire toward her? Sandy couldn’t figure it out, but she knew she’d screwed up at some point. He’d been very good about not pushing lines unless she gave the okay, whether tacitly or pointedly.
“Keep your fingers out of there,” she ordered, brandishing the wooden stirring spoon at him with gusto.
“I surrender!”
They both laughed, and she relaxed a little. Whatever Palin might say or hint at, it was up to her whether anything happened between them. Yes, she’d allowed him to come work on her farm. Yes, if forced her to admit it she might even say they were kinda-sorta friends. But that was as far as she was willing to let it go. The timing just wasn’t right for anything more, even if she’d been in the right frame of mind for a relationship. Which she wasn’t.
So that’s where it was going to stay. They could be friends, and he could flirt all he wanted. She might even flirt back. But nothing was going to happen between them. Hopefully he would figure that out soon. She didn’t want to lead him on, she told herself. That would be mean.
“You’ve got that look on your face again.”
She glanced at him. “What look?”
“The thoughtful one. Where you seem happy, then angry, then happy. It’s like a pendulum, swinging back and forth, back and forth. Is everything okay?”
Sandy started to nod and tell him yes, but the word caught in her throat. No, everything was not okay. She was sick and tired of struggling for money, and she was sick and tired of having to deal with an asshole of a neighbor who was rooting for her to fail.
Maybe that’s why she’d let Palin into her life. He was on her side, rooting for her. The big man seemed to want nothing more than to see her succeed, which was a breath of fresh air. It was also extremely dangerous, because that led to trusting someone more than she should.
“You can’t lie to me, Sandy,” he said, stepping closer. “You can try, I mean, but I can see through you. I can see that you’re hurting.”
“I’m fi—”
He pressed a finger to his lips, shaking his head. The entire mood between them had changed. Gone was the flirty sexual tension that had been building all week. In its place was something deeper, something more caring.
Affection.
“You don’t have to say anything. I won’t pry. I can tell you aren’t ready to talk about it. Something happened in your life, something that made you come out here to the farm, to leave your old life behind. I get that, it’s pretty easy to see. You can tell me when you’re ready. I just want you to know that it’s okay. You don’t have to pretend with me. You can admit that you’re nervous. That you’re scared.” He spoke softer with every word, and then at the end he reached out and hugged her.
Sandy closed her eyes, letting him wrap his arms around her. Her head was pressed against his chest, more of his scent filling her nostrils. It was exotic, with a hint of spice and the perfect amount of sweetness. She’d never smelled its like before.
“Palin,” she whispered after a moment.
“Yes? Is everything okay?” His mouth was so near to her ear she felt it tingle as he spoke into it, sending tiny tremors down the back of her neck.
No, she wanted to scream for the second time. No everything wasn’t fine. Her life was a mess.
“Everything is complicated and screwed to hell,” she admitted with a tiny, shuddering laugh. “But with you around it somehow feels like it’s going to be okay.” She whispered the last few words at the same time her arms came up to wrap around him.
They didn’t reach, his torso was so thick, but it didn’t matter. Letting herself enjoy his presence, just for the moment, she rested her head on his shoulder and cursed herself for giving in to him so easily. As nice as it may feel now, it was going to be much harder to say no the next time. And she wasn’t stupid. There was going to be a next time. Sandy needed to stop this, and soon.
But how was she supposed to do that without hurting Palin?