Hannah
“What the fuck!”
The angry cry came from behind her, the haunting words following her as she ran away.
Like she always did.
You’ve always run. Never once have you stood up for what you want, allowing yourself to just be who you are. Why should you always have to flee?
Emotions were running rampant through her. Distress, that she had let herself come so close to revealing things to Josh. Things that he couldn’t begin to accept, to deal with. Fear, that the next time she cracked she would allow him in, a mistake that would kill her. Anxiety, that perhaps he already suspected what she was hiding, and that he might act without warning. Sadness, for everything that she would never be able to experience with Josh, who truly was a good man. It wasn’t his fault that the things he had been taught were wrong.
It doesn’t matter if it isn’t his fault or not. He would think he’s in the right, and be forced to act. You can’t tell him. You can’t tell anyone.
Hannah hated herself for treating him the way she was. For leading him on without meaning to, being harsh with him and abandoning him. All she wanted to do was to let go, to allow herself to be swept up in his arms the way she was in her dreams. To give him that smile, the happy one that always crossed a woman’s face before she closed her eyes to kiss the man she cared for. Hannah desperately wanted that. She wanted it with Josh.
The rage that flowed through her was as powerful as the one that had been directed at him moments earlier, when he had touched her. That hadn’t been Hannah’s doing. It had been…something else. Now it used the anger against her will once more. It took it, twisting it from being self-loathing, and flipped it on end. Tired of being trapped, it lashed out, forcing her to skid to a halt.
“What do you mean, ‘what the fuck?’” she snapped, whirling in place. “I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for any of this! I came here expecting to help my brother and then leave. Nobody consulted me about hiring a bodyguard. On top of that, I didn’t wish for my bodyguard to be so damn good-looking and charming! Aren’t you supposed to be some uncommunicative brute with the IQ of a rock?” she fumed angrily, storming back toward him. “That would have made things so much easier for me.”
Josh arched an eyebrow. “Perhaps, but aren’t you just supposed to be a helpless human woman?” he challenged.
Hannah rocked back as if she had been slapped. “What do you mean by that?” Panic flared within her, and she fought it back relentlessly, determined not to show anything to him.
The big shifter shook his head. “Lying doesn’t suit you, Hannah Terrik.”
She didn’t say anything. There was nothing to be said.
He frowned as she just stood there. “I’m disappointed. I had thought you were better than this.”
This time it was Josh’s turn to walk away, leaving Hannah to stand there alone with her grief and the hurt.
You’ve always been alone. You always will be alone. That’s the way it has to be.
But I don’t want to be alone! I want a partner, I want someone to come home to, who can hold me and love me. Why is that so much to ask?
Despite her internal protests though, Hannah knew that she would never be able to have such things. It wasn’t in the cards for her, despite the tendrils of emotion she had worked hard to shut out of her life beginning to worm their away around her heart.
She cared for Josh, and the first seed of doubt about her long-held beliefs began to seep into her brain. They strengthened their hold as she thought about it, picturing what it would be like to allow him into her life, to be free with him.
It was those thoughts, those images, that guided her footsteps now. She was no longer running away, nor was she wandering aimlessly, or even following in her brother’s footsteps as she had done for so long. For the first time in a long time, Hannah followed her heart’s desire.
She moved back down the canvas hallway toward the corner of the warehouse where the Underground had organized their offices. The ground floor was the meeting room and another room that looked like a combination kitchen and common area. A set of stairs between the two led up a floor, where what looked like offices were located. Above that, she figured were the bedrooms of those who worked for the Underground. She passed a pair of people she didn’t know, nodding politely in their direction. They were a pair of large men who had the bearing of shifters, though they lacked the deadly grace of Josh and his team.
After a few minutes of searching and finding her way around, Hannah found who she was looking for. Rapping softly on the doorframe as the door was already open, she stood and waited for an answer.
“Hannah, please, come in,” Madison said, setting the pen down on the desk in front of her and organizing the small stack of paper, pushing it to the side. She smiled at the surprise on Hannah’s face. “Believe it or not, in this day and age there is still a ton of paperwork, even for a covert organization like us,” she said with a laugh, gesturing at the chair in front of her desk. “What can I do for you?”
Hannah eyed the chair for a moment, then turned and closed the door. This drew a mild look of surprise from Madison, but she didn’t object. Hannah sat down, her spine rigid as she stared across at the tall, confident woman who led the entire Underground.
“I need your help,” she said bluntly, then shook her head. “No, that’s not quite right. I need some advice. Which I guess is a form of help, but I don’t actually need you to do anything for me, I—”
Madison held up a hand gently, forestalling Hannah as she began to ramble.
“I’m always happy to give any help or advice that I can,” she told her. “Don’t feel like you’re intruding just because we only met an hour ago.”
Hannah sagged in the chair. “Thank you,” she said with relief. “I don’t know where else to turn. I’ve always gone to my brother, but this time I think he might be wrong.” She frowned. “But if he isn’t, then I could majorly screw things up. You know?”
Madison smiled, nodding. “Oh, I have a bit of understanding when it comes to making a decision that could go fantastically, or horribly, horribly wrong.”
She put her hand on the table palm up, and brushed her fingers over two dark spots on her forearm. Hannah looked closer, frowning as she realized the marks were far too perfectly circular to be birthmarks.
“This is where I injected myself with the first serum vial,” she said, pointing at the outer mark. “At the time, many of their patients were dying horribly from receiving injections,” she explained. “So not only did I do that, but when that didn’t kill me, I went ahead and gave myself the other vial, the one that did something none of us truly knew.” She touched the inner mark. “That was months ago now, and they still haven’t healed. I suspect I will have them for life now, as a reminder of taking a rather big gamble that could have killed me.” She smiled. “Twice.”
Hannah nodded, impressed at the woman’s courage. I would kill for that sort of inner strength right now.
“But enough about me,” the other woman said. “What can I do for you?”
Hannah wasn’t sure how to ask her question. She couldn’t be completely blunt. That would be a bad thing, wouldn’t it?
“What do you know about w—” She shook her head, amazed at how close she had come to spitting things out. No, she would have to be a little more circumspect than that.
Working her jaw, she rephrased the question. “How do you go about discussing a volatile topic with someone? A topic where you hold a secret, and know ahead of time what their views are, though you’ve never discussed it before. You know this person is firmly set in their ways, as is just about every other person you’ve ever met. But you also know, in your core, that they’re wrong?”
Madison looked at her unblinking for a long moment, then she blew out a breath through pursed lips.
“That’s difficult,” she said wryly. “I’m not sure there is an easy way to do it. If there was, I’m sure you would have taken it before.” The other woman looked thoughtful. “Have you perhaps tried correcting Josh’s information about this secret, before you reveal to him that you are concealing it?”
The leader of the Underground laughed as Hannah’s jaw dropped open. “I’m sorry, but it really wasn’t that hard to spot,” she said, referring to the attraction between Hannah and Josh.
Hannah sputtered for a moment, trying to recover. In the end, she just shrugged, admitting that Madison was right. “I haven’t tried that, no, but—”
“Don’t make whatever assumption it is you were about to make,” Madison said, cutting her off. “That makes you just as bad as him, assuming that you know something when you could be wrong. One thing I’ve learned about these Sentinels after working with them so closely recently is that they have a greater mental flexibility than many others, of their kind or of yours,” she said, referring to humans.
Hannah bit back a reply, knowing it would do her no good.
“You have to give them a chance,” Madison told her gently.
Her arms began to shake as she met the other woman’s gaze. “I know,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “But that’s what I’m afraid of.”