TRYING TO IGNORE the internal sensor in my body that told me the sun was still up, I sat on the end of my bed in my musty room and listened to my family. Dad and Julian were in the garage. Organizing the Christmas decorations from what I could tell. Dad was asking Julian to unpack all the lights and check them, then reroll the strands so they weren’t such a knotted mess when he pulled them out again in six months.
With clearly forced patience, Julian said, “Really? We need to do this now?” But then I heard him get to work on his project.
Julian wanted this party so badly that he would agree to do just about anything at the moment. I almost wanted to take advantage of the fact and give him something to do, but I’d never actually do that to him. And besides, I was partly responsible for what had happened between him and Arianna. If she hadn’t seen me dead…well, I was positive she wouldn’t have flipped out and broken it off with him, then Halina wouldn’t have wiped her memory and Julian wouldn’t be desperately trying to start over. Yeah, I was the one who should be in the garage helping Dad clean up. But I couldn’t. I was stuck down here for a few more hours. It was so boring here, I almost wanted to cry. It was how I imagined prison, expect for the amenities, of course. I mean, I did have a TV, fridge and computer at my disposal. I think it was the lack of a view that made it seem so cramped. And the smell. That didn’t help either.
I just wanted space. I wanted to be able to walk around. I wanted to see people, carry on conversations with them, and not just through the walls. But mostly, I wanted Hunter. I wanted to be near him more than I wanted anything else, even blood. It was a nagging sensation in the back of my head that I couldn’t turn off no matter how hard I tried. Everything about being at my parents’ house felt wrong. I was too far away from Hunter, from my sire. I needed him so much closer. I needed his arms around me, his lips on mine. But even then I would still feel too far from him.
My parents were being ridiculous about not allowing me to move to the ranch. They figured if they said yes and I started staying with Hunter, then I’d start sleeping with him too. They were actually right about that concern, but I wasn’t about to tell them that. My body ached for him so much it was painful at times, and I’d gone to sleep restless on more occasions than I cared to count. And it was only getting worse as time went by. I’d had him once, and I wanted him again. Especially now that we were bonded. But Hunter was being Hunter, and refusing to sleep with me under my father’s roof. He said it was disrespectful. I said it was annoying. My dad kept a sharp vigilance on the two of us, never closing his soundproof door anymore, but he couldn’t stay up as long as we could, and we had plenty of time every evening to fool around. But Dad had told Hunter no, and Hunter was honoring him by telling me no.
And because Dad had told us not to leave the house after everyone went to bed, and Hunter was obeying that request as well, we couldn’t even be together under somebody else’s roof. I’d even take the open air at this point. I wanted my boyfriend. Desperately. But now that he was fully fed, he had this superhuman-like resolve. Our bond drove us both to the brink of passionate madness, but he always pulled back in time. I was dying, again, and Hunter was killing me, again, just in a completely different way this time. But I would have him. Eventually this impasse would end, and I was going to get my way, and we were going to make love. He couldn’t hold out forever.
I tuned out Dad and Julian and shifted to Mom. She was in her bedroom, shuffling around and talking on the phone. She was probably changing out of her work clothes into something more comfortable. She was talking to Tracey while she moved around. From what I could hear, Tracey was having a mini panic attack.
“He wants me to go to the next group meeting, Em. Me!”
Mom sighed and there was a thump like she’d thrown her shoe across the room. “You should go. It will be good for you to see what he does.”
“But…there are going to be vampires there. And vampire hunters. And who knows what else! Probably a werewolf or two.”
Mom laughed and her bed squeaked as she sat down. “Werewolves aren’t real, Trace.”
“Oh? Just like vampires aren’t real, Em? Because I seem to remember hearing that before too!”
Tracey’s voice was on the shrill side. Mom answered her in a calm, soothing tone. “Okay, that’s a valid point. Well, I have yet to see or hear anything about werewolves, and none are scheduled to be at the meeting. It will only be humans and vampires.”
“Only,” Tracey scoffed.
Mom continued, unfazed. “All of the vampires there are friendly, and all of the hunters there are in on the cause. We’re trying to forge peace between the two species, create justice, end unnecessary killing, on both sides. This is a big deal, and you should see it, so you can understand it, and not be so afraid of it.”
Tracey took a moment before she answered Mom. “I never said I was afraid.”
I smiled at the stubbornness in her voice, and I imagined Mom was doing the same. “Of course you’re not. You should still go though. It will help you understand, and you’ll be perfectly safe. No one at the meeting will hurt you. We’re all just trying to make the world safe for our children—human and vampire, Trace. For Olivia, Julian…Nika.” Mom sighed, sadness in the sound. She was still really affected by what had happened to me. We all were. Continuing, she told Tracey, “That’s all everyone in the group wants. Just keep that thought in your mind and you’ll do fine.”
Tracey sighed, and even I could hear the concession in the sigh. “Are you going? This would be a lot less…strange for me, if you and Teren were going to be there too.”
Mom let out a small laugh, her mood lifting with the sound. “We can be there if you want, if that would make things easier for you.”
“Um, well, yeah…it would.” Tracey laughed a little now too. “You two don’t scare me as much as…some of the others.”
I knew she meant my boyfriend and the other purebloods. Probably me too, since I was now in that category. Mom and Tracey went on to talk about other things, and I let my mind drift to other things. Namely Hunter and the cursed sun keeping us apart. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing right at this very moment. I knew he was at the ranch, I could feel him, but he was too far away for me to gauge whether he was moving around or not. He had to be awake, or maybe just waking up. He was probably with Halina, since the two of them were so close. I tried not to let that bother me, they were bonded after all, just like he was with me. Jealousy wasn’t always something that could be controlled though, and sometimes, like now, their closeness to each other was grating. I understood though. And besides, Hunter could be with Gabriel in his lab. Or with Imogen, Alanna, or anyone at the ranch who might be visiting the spacious underground levels. He wasn’t necessarily with his sire.
There were still a few repairs that needed to be done on the ranch, especially in the living room and the lower levels. The attack a couple months ago had been bad, really bad. I was a little glad I’d missed it. Julian had told me stories though—running away, trying to keep everyone safe, having to leave people that he was sure he’d never see again. He’d been terrified…that I’d known. Up until I’d died, I’d been able to feel his fear. I’d shared it with him while I’d faced my own scary situation.
But that was then and this was now, and we were all steadily picking up the pieces of our somewhat altered lives.
My cell phone rang while images of Hunter swam before my eyes. I shook my head to clear the image of his deep, piercing gaze, his stubbled jaw. I needed to get control over this bond, not let it have such a hold on me. I wanted him, yes, but I wanted to be my own person too. And if Mom had maintained her identity with her bond to Dad, then surely I could maintain mine too. Taylor women were strong that way.
Seeing the screen of my cell phone once I picked it up off my dresser, I couldn’t help but grin. Speaking of strong Taylor women. Pressing the answer button, I brought the phone to my ear, “Hi, Aunt Ashley.”
Ashley was my mom’s completely human sister. She still lived in California with her husband, but she called whenever she could. She’d flown up for a couple of weeks once she’d heard the news about me. I think it had really helped Mom to have her close again, but Ash had missed her home, her husband, and her job, so she’d reluctantly returned to San Francisco after her too-short visit. She called me at least three times a week though.
“Is this too early? I’m still not sure when I should call?” she asked, her voice warm and familiar.
“This is fine. I get up pretty early,” I answered, happy to have someone to help pass the time with, and a distraction from thinking of Hunter. Although he was always in my thoughts.
“It’s still strange to hear you say that,” Ashley murmured.
I laughed. “Yeah, sometimes it’s still strange to say it. It feels natural though.” That was certainly true. My body had acclimated to my new routine almost instantly. The vampire in me craved the night, and while I missed the sun, I wasn’t overcome with grief by its absence.
“Well, that’s good. It makes me happy that you’re happy.” I assured her that I was great and she let out a soft sigh. “I miss you guys. I want to come visit again. I think Christian and I are going to head up for your birthday. Stay a few days, if not longer.”
Even though she was still having a conversation with Tracey, Mom overheard Ashley and exclaimed, “Tell her that’s great! And I can’t wait to see her. And she should stay here instead of the ranch this time.”
I frowned up at my mom. That was one annoying thing about living with vampires; everybody eavesdropped on everyone else’s conversations. With our hearing, it was unavoidable, but it was still irritating at times. “Mom says she can’t wait, and she wants you to stay at the house with us.”
Ashley chuckled. “Wow, vampire ears are amazing.”
I laughed with her. “Tell me about it. Mom’s got better reception than my phone.” I glanced at the screen indicating I was getting one bar, and I’d only keep that one bar if I didn’t move from this specific section of the room. An unfortunate side effect of being surrounded by so much cement.
Ashley and I stayed on the phone for a while. She kept me occupied by telling me all about her work at the hospital. Ash had been horribly burned as a kid, and most of her body was scarred. She worked in the burn unit at a hospital in San Francisco with her husband. He was a doctor there who specialized in skin regeneration, specifically skin that grew hair. Thanks to his work, Ashley had a full head of hair again. Mom said she was a hundred times spunkier now that she could pull all of it into a ponytail. It was still pretty thin hair, and patchy in places, but Ashley was happy as a clam to have it.
When we hung up the phone, I only had to wait an hour or so for the sun to go down. It still seemed to take forever, as it did every night, but I managed to make it through with only a mild case of restlessness. As soon as I felt the sun was safely below the horizon, and all of its poisonous rays were doused for the day, I zipped from my hallway, into the “safety” room, and jumped into the closet. I bound from the enclosed space like I was erupting for air. Closing the door behind me, I leaned against the wood and inhaled the flowery scent of the main floor of the house—so much better than my dank, dark hole in the ground.
Mom stepped out of the kitchen to give me a swift hug. She was usually the first one to hug me when I emerged. Julian was on the couch in the living room, looking dirty and exhausted. He raised his head to glance at me when I entered the room, then dropped it back to the cushions. Dad must have worked him hard with his belated spring-cleaning project. Sweeping my eyes around the immaculate living room, I could see why my parents had been suspicious. Our house was never really dirty, but there was usually some form of clutter here and there. Julian had straightened everything. He’d even vacuumed.
Dad walked around the corner from the kitchen, giving me a hug. “Good morning, Nika,” he told me, squeezing my shoulder.
When he released me, his pale eyes searched mine, like he was analyzing me. I knew what he was looking for, some sign that my bond with Hunter had kicked into overdrive. It hadn’t yet, Hunter was still at the ranch, probably being detained by Halina or Gabriel. The minute he started surging toward me though, it would activate.
Feeling uncomfortable, I broke eye contact. “Please stop that,” I muttered.
His face was both apologetic and unapologetic. Without a word, I could tell he was thinking, I don’t want to be this protective, but I’m your father and it’s my job. “Just…checking,” he finally said.
I could feel his eyes on me still, but I ignored it. Mom indicated the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready. Let’s eat.”
The heavenly smell of fresh blood wafted over and a small growl of delight escaped me. The bloody scent was laced with other things that didn’t smell nearly as good—leftover turkey, crepes, bacon, tuna casserole, potato salad and ice tea from what I could make out. Once upon a time, that would have delighted me more than the plasma, but not anymore. Not since my conversion.
Ignoring the revulsion of the human food I was smelling, I walked into the kitchen and took my traditional spot at the table. Julian looked starving when he plopped down beside me. I felt bad that he’d had to wait so long to eat, just for me. That was an unnecessary nicety. I could eat by myself once the sun went down. I was a big girl.
As Mom filled up a huge plate for Julian, I told her, “You guys shouldn’t wait to eat until I’m up, especially during the summer.” Mom set the heavy plate in front of Julian, where it landed with a hearty thud. Smirking, I added, “Julie’s likely to starve to death.”
Julian edged me in the ribs. “Fat chance of that,” he sighed, looking at the amount of food on his plate.
As Dad poured steaming blood into tall glasses, he told me, “As long as we’re able, we’ll eat as a family.”
I didn’t object any further as Dad began setting the glasses on the table. While he set the stainless-steel carafe in the center of the table, Julian nudged my side and gave me a questioning glance. Even without the bond between us, I knew he wanted me to bring up the topic of our birthday, so he could ask his huge favor. I wanted to help him out, I really did—I missed my friend just as much as he missed his girlfriend—but I had no idea how to frame our request in such a way that our parents would have no choice but to say yes. I just couldn’t fathom them saying anything other than no. Well, except maybe hell no.
Picking up my blood, the glass pleasurably warm under my fingertips, I started the conversation. “So…Aunt Ashley wants to be here for our birthday…”
Mom jumped right in, both feet first. “I know! Even though she was just here a few weeks ago, I’m so excited to have her back.” Her eyes shifted to Dad as he sat at the table. “I’ve really missed having her around.”
Dad grabbed Mom’s fingertips at the same time as he reached for his glass. “I know.”
He brought the glass to his mouth; his fangs crashed down before the rim even touched his lips. My stomach felt like it was eating itself I was so hungry. Watching Dad drink only made the ache deepen. I raised the glass to right in front of my face, but spoke before I drank. “Maybe we should celebrate a little more than we usually do since she’s coming up?”
Julian’s eyes darted to his plate as he immediately began shoveling food into his mouth. I could tell he was purposely ignoring looking at Mom and Dad in case he gave himself away. I instantly started drinking my cup of blood as I let them absorb my comment for a minute or two; it was best to let the idea sink in before I expanded on it. My fangs dropped the instant the blood hit my tongue. It was like sweet, healing, molten lava down my throat. For a second, it burned away every thought, every care, and every desire. Drinking was all that existed.
Somewhere in my din of euphoria, I heard Dad ask, “What did you have in mind?”
Just as I was wondering how to subtly ask for something I was sure they’d never agree to, I felt something else that made everything in the room seem insignificant…even the blood. I slammed the glass back to the table so hard, I put a fine crack along the bottom of it. Warm blood started oozing onto the wooden surface of the table, but I didn’t care. Clutching the edge of my seat, I fought against the aching desire rising in me. Hunter was coming closer, and everything in me wanted to run to him. Mom cleaned up my bloody mess while Dad told me to try and breathe and relax. I wanted to snap at him that this was too intense, that it was impossible to just calmly breathe through it, but Dad had been through this before and he knew what he was talking about, so I tried to take his advice instead.
Digging my fingers into the hard chair below me, I forced myself to inhale a deep, cleansing breath. It helped, but just a little. I wanted to run, but I made myself sit there. I had to squirm though. He was close, so close...yet still so far away. I needed him. I needed him so much. I needed his hands on me, his mouth on me, his body on mine. A small groan escaped me as I crossed and uncrossed my legs.
“And that’s my cue to go,” Julian muttered as he rose from the table.
One of my eyes shot open as I glared at him. “You have no idea what this feels like, Julian. No idea.” I closed my eyes and clutched the chair harder as the throbbing vibrations rippling through my body intensified. I needed him. Now.
“You’re right, I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. And I don’t want to watch…again.” I could hear the horror in his voice. Under normal circumstances, I would have felt it too, but I was too electrified to care about anything Julian was saying.
While Dad told him to go wait in the living room, I shot to my feet and sprang toward the door. I couldn’t sit here and wait any longer. Dad anticipated my move and snatched me up. Quite a feat, since I was stronger than him. Struggling against him, I growled, “Let me go. I need to go to him.”
Calmer than I would have been, Dad responded, “This will pass, Nika. Just breathe in, breathe out. I don’t want you running through the city like this. He’ll be here soon. I promise.”
Breaking away from him, I again concentrated on my breathing. Anything I could focus on besides the surging rush of desire coursing through me was a good thing. I marched back and forth in frustration. Hunter was approaching fast, but not nearly fast enough for me. I felt like I was going to burst before he got here. You’d think I’d be used to the sensation by now, but I wasn’t. It was aching, wondrous, torture. I loved it, I hated it.
“Dad…” My voice was almost a groan, which was horribly embarrassing. “I can’t take this anymore. We need to stay together, so this…” I sucked in a breath, held it, then released it, “…doesn’t keep happening.”
Mom rubbed my back. “I know it’s hard, honey, but you can do this. It’s only temporary. It eases up after—”
I cut her off with a sharp glare. “After a year or more. I can’t…” I ran my hands through my hair, down my body, as fire swept through me. “I can’t do this for a year…”
Hunter was just a few minutes away now, and I felt on edge, prickly with desire. Any second I was going to erupt. My somewhat-calm breaths, shifted to short pants. My eyes locked onto the front door, willing Hunter to burst through them. I heard Julian groan again, and Dad sighed. Mom rubbed my back in sympathy, but her tenderness was grating in my current condition, and I stepped away from her. The small movement toward Hunter was more than I could bear. I shot toward the door like a bullet exploding from a gun.
Dad wasn’t quick enough to stop me this time. “Nika!” was all he got out before I was gone.
I accidently ripped the front door off the hinges as I fled the house. I could feel Mom and Dad behind me, but their presence in my head was nothing compared to Hunter’s. We crashed into each other’s arms at the end of the street, and melded together into one body—arms, legs, lips. Bliss flooded me as our bond finally got what it wanted: the two of us together. Nothing in this world felt as wonderful as this.
Our greeting intensified as we sank to our knees near a stop sign on the corner. Groaning between fiery kisses, Hunter laid me onto the concrete, then pressed himself on top of me. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer. I could tell how much he wanted me. The feeling was definitely mutual. I ground my hips against his, begging him to do the same with a low, throaty moan of pleasure. It didn’t even occur to me to be bothered by the fact that we were rolling around on a dirty sidewalk. Nothing was bothering me at the moment. Nothing but the fact that Hunter and I were both wearing way too many clothes.
Just as I thought to rectify that problem, my fingers skimming up Hunter’s back, taking his t-shirt with them, Hunter was yanked away from me. I leapt to my feet to return to his embrace, but arms wrapped around me, restraining me. A familiar voice chuckled from behind me, but all I could focus on was Hunter’s dark eyes boring into me, drinking me in from a distance. I burned with need, and struggled against the person holding me captive. Hunter wrestled with his restrainer as well, even dropping his fangs and growling as he twisted and pulled.
An amused voice broke through my frustrated fog of desire. “Watching them meet up never gets old. I think I’ll miss it when their bond settles down.”
I recognized the voice and the sense of humor. Shaking my head to clear away the tidal wave of passion pounding me, I looked over my shoulder. Halina was standing just behind my mother, who was pinning my arms behind my back. Reason flooded into me as my eyes darted between the two women. Mom was holding me back from ripping the clothes off my boyfriend…in the middle of a public street. We’d been moaning, groaning, and grinding when they’d pried us apart. My grandmother was laughing her ass off at our sexual display. It was mortifying to put it mildly, and the buzz from the bond faded in my embarrassment.
As my breathing started returning to normal, I looked over at Hunter. Dad was holding him tight, and neither man looked happy about it. Dad was annoyed; Hunter was still…frustrated.
Ignoring Halina, who was enjoying this way too much, I told Mom, “I’m fine now.”
I relaxed in her arms so she’d let me go. Once she saw that I was more or less myself, she released me, and I headed over to Hunter. His eyes were wild as I approached. It stirred something primal inside me, but I pushed it back. Not now. Not here. Gently, I placed my hand on his rough cheek and stroked his skin in a soothing pattern. He calmed as he stared at me. When he blinked a few times in rapid succession, I could tell the crazed lust we’d both felt was fading from him too. A part of me was grateful, a part of me was sad. We’d never been able to act on the wild, animalistic intensity. I had a feeling it would be incredible if we ever caved to the rush the bond gave us. But Dad was always around to pry us apart and calm us down. He was just as tired of it as we were.
A smile lifted the edge of Hunter’s lip. “Hi,” he muttered. If his face could have flushed with color, I was sure it would have. Words often escaped us when we greeted each other lately. At least at first anyway.
“Hi,” I laughed back. “I missed you. Obviously.”
Hunter made a sound that was both a laugh and a sigh. “I did too…” He tried to give me a hug, but Dad still had a hold of him. Frowning, Hunter said over his shoulder, “I’m okay, you can let go.”
Instead of doing what he’d asked, Dad tightened his grip. “Just to be on the safe side,” he answered, smirking.
Giving my father an admonishing glare, I peeled his fingers off of Hunter. “Stop it, Dad.” When Hunter was free, he chastely wrapped his arms around me. Sliding my hands under his arms, I put my palms on his shoulder blades and squeezed. He felt wonderful. Firm and hard, yet soft and comfortable too. And now that we were both undead, we were equally warm, or should I say, equally cold. I just wanted to crawl into his lap and burrow myself in the shelter of his embrace. But that couldn’t happen right now, so I pulled apart from him after a politely brief hug.
Halina was still laughing at us when we stepped away from each other. Dark-haired and pale-eyed like the majority of our family, Halina seemed the youngest even though she was the matriarch. Of course, her being dressed like she was on her way to a nightclub might have had something to do with that.
Hunter frowned at her. “You didn’t have to follow me tonight. The meeting’s not ‘til later.”
Halina shrugged as she shook her head in amusement. “I know, but watching the two of you paw at each other like dogs in heat is too much fun to miss.”
I frowned at her analogy. Dogs? In heat? Eww. Not a sexy image.
Now that the intensity of the bond igniting was over, my hunger came back to life. Clutching my stomach, I looked up at Hunter. “I need to eat.”
His dark eyes were concerned as they washed over me. Being newborn, I needed to eat frequently to be at my best. Hunter hadn’t properly fed himself when he’d first converted, so he was very sympathetic to hunger pains. “Okay, let’s get you something.”
I grabbed his hand and started leading him toward home. Mom, Dad and Halina fell into step behind us. “You probably need to eat too,” I told him.
Hunter grinned and leaned into me. His eyes drifted to my neck as he murmured, “I could use a bite.”
I giggled at his innuendo. I wish he’d bite me again. We’d only done it once, back when I was alive, but it had been incredible for both of us. I was ready for round two, and so was Hunter. Dad cleared his throat, and I flicked my gaze behind us to see him scowling. He’d understood Hunter’s innuendo, and he wasn’t thrilled.
Halina lightly shoved Dad’s shoulder as she took in the exchange. “Lighten up, Grandson.” She pointed at Mom. “You nibbled on your girlfriend often enough, and it’s not like Hunter can truly hurt Nika now.”
Dad’s expression grew insolent. “Yeah, but I wasn’t sixteen. Or a girl.”
I stopped in my tracks and put my hands on my hips. Mom and Halina took the same posture as me and we all stared Dad down. He looked between the three strong, independent women he’d just insulted. This time, Hunter chuckled.
Dad held his hands up. “I didn’t mean anything by it, I just meant—”
Mom crossed her arms over her chest. “That as women we’re weaker and somehow inferior to men.”
Dad shook his head. “No, absolutely not. You’re taking it out of context. I just meant…you’re women, and need to be protect—”
Halina leaned in and cut him off. “I would shut up now, if I were you.”
Dad sighed and closed his mouth. After another second of us staring him down, he added, “I apologize if I offended you. I’m an idiot.”
Hunter laughed again, while the three of us relaxed. Grabbing Hunter’s hand, I allowed myself to giggle too. Maybe chagrining Dad would help Julian and me convince him to let us have a party. It couldn’t hurt. Perfectly content, I swung Hunter’s hand. My day was going well already, and it had only just begun.