12. UN-SAVEABLE
ESTHER
“Wow,” I whispered looking up at all the stars which shone in the moonless sky like diamonds over black silk, while the lake, which was slowly starting to freeze over, lay before me. On the edge of the beach, the waters had already iced over. Had it been silent, the beauty would have been immense, but all of the town had converged on the lake and small campfires dotted the circumference of its shores.
I felt the blanket fall over my shoulder before I heard his voice. “You like it?”
“David? Hey.” I looked up to him. He was out of his police uniform, and like most of us, he was bundled up with a red hat that covered his blond hair. He kicked his foot over the log and sat beside me as he cracked his beer can open and took a long drink. He already reeked of whatever it was that he’d been drinking and it started to give me a headache.
“Ah…” He shook his head and licked his cold, chapped lips as he handed it to me. “Want some? This will warm you up good.”
“No thanks.” I nodded to the fire a few feet from me. The whole town was bundling together and drinking in an effort to keep warm. As soon as the sun went down the air was filled with ice and a wicked chill took over the night. If it weren’t for heat packs they were handing out to everyone my fingers would have gone numb by now.
“Seriously, it’s good, have—”
“She’s good.” I turned to see Malachi standing a few feet away from us. Over his left arm he held my quilt and in his right hand a silver flask. I’d asked him to bring me my quilt since he’d gone back to the house to get changed but I hadn’t asked for the drink, not that I minded. He now stood in jeans, boots and a dark blue wool jacket and the flames of the fire flickered in the reflection of his eyes as he looked at us. “Officer.”
“Just call me David, and come have a real drink with us!”
Malachi ignored him and looked down at me. “Am I interrupting something?”
That’s what I wanted to know. I thought as I looked between the two of them.
“It’s—”
“Seriously, what’s your problem?” David snapped as he stood up. “We’ve been trying to welcome you since you got here but you’ve been nothing but rude.”
“I apologize,” Malachi said but he didn’t sound like it at all and David could tell.
Stepping up to him David dabbed into Malachi’s chest. “I don’t know who you think you are but I don’t like the way you’re speaking to me!”
“How should I speak to you, sir?” Malachi replied making it worse, considering that he was older than David.
“David, sorry we need to work—”
“You really ought to stop making excuses for him!” He snapped at me.
“David! I need your help with these.”
I looked over Malachi’s shoulder to see Eleanor, David’s grandmother and the Sheriff of Lieber Falls, calling him over, to help a few other guys who were bringing drinks towards the edge of the pool.
“Try to not act like a freak, hunchback,” he muttered before he turned back to me and smiled. “I’ll come back later, alright?”
I nodded not saying a word as he finished his drink and walked towards his grandmother. “He’s an…”
“An alcoholic, yeah. I’m sure the whole town knows. His grandmother is keeping him on a short leash,” Malachi said as he took the blanket I’d forgotten I was wearing and dropped it onto the log before handing me my quilt.
“You noticed?”
“He is exactly like my father, of course I noticed.” That was all he had to say and I understood. But he went on anyway taking a seat beside as I wrapped myself in a cocoon. “When he pulled up in the cruiser I saw the flask in the side pocket beside his seat. And the red headed woman beside him, Mandy—”
“Murphy.” I corrected.
He rolled his eyes as he twisted the top of the flask. “Whatever, Mandy, Murphy. If he called her any of those names she would answer. She’s in love with him, and covering for him too…like my mother once did.”
“If the love of your life committed a crime would you cover it up?”
He poured the deep brown into his mug, the top cup part of the flask, and handed it to me.
“Coffee?”
“Hot chocolate,” he replied drinking directly from the flask. “And yes.”
“Yes?” I looked at him as I blew on the chocolate.
“Yes I would help cover up whatever crime,” he said looking up at the stars.
“Really?”
He smirked and looked to me. “You’ve never been in love, have you?”
“I had a boyfriend?”
He frowned at that as he tilted his head to look at me.
“What? I am pretty attractive if you haven’t noticed.”
“I haven’t,” he replied while drinking.
I wanted to smack him but instead I closed my eyes and drank too, enjoying how warm it made me feel.
“Having a boyfriend and being in love are two different things.”
“I know.” Which was why I’d broken up with him…he said he’d give me space, but not only did he fail to do that, I found myself annoyed each time he texted me. So before coming here I’d simply told him I wanted to see other people via text message. He hadn’t replied and I hadn’t given it another thought until now. I felt better to be free of him…was that a bad thing to say?
We fell into a comfortable silence and maybe it was the chocolate, or the fire, or maybe I was just too exhausted to care, but I slowly leaned into him and rested my head on his shoulder.
“What are you doing—?”
“Shhh,” I whispered as I opened my eyes and looked up at the sky. “I know your story. Your life has been painful but I’m still jealous.”
“You really need to see someone about this jealousy problem of yours,” he said softly and I could tell he was uncomfortable so I sat up again.
“Anyone would be jealous. Could you imagine being one of those stars?” I pointed up at a random one. “There are thousands upon thousands of stars all around you, and your task is to find the one that’s perfect for you. It’s hard. Some stars you like don’t like you back. The stars that like you, you don’t like them back. Sometimes stars like each other for a while and then realize, for whatever reason, this isn’t the one. Sometimes…you start to wonder even among the thousands and thousands of stars if there is anyone actually out there for you. And you, Malachi, are the one star who always knows there is someone for him.”
“I’m not a star,” he said and then lifted up his hand and pointed to my left. “I’m that.”
Just as soon as he’d said it the first firework exploded in the air and its gold shimmering lights fell down like…like broken stars.
“I’m a firework. Only here briefly and then I fade. While the stars stay where they are.”
I frown at that, looking to him as he watched the show. “Malachi.”
“What?”
“Look at me.”
And when he did, I did what my grandfather always did to me. I flicked the center of his forehead as hard as I could.
“Ah! What the—?”
“Stop being so negative!”
“I was just—”
“Being negative. Pause for a second and look around.” Rubbing his forehead he looked around. “What do you see?”
“What am I supposed to be seeing?”
Man, he was a pain. “The whole town is here to see the fireworks. Stars are beautiful. Fireworks are breathtaking because they come so instantaneously and then poof. They’re gone but that display lingers in your mind. It eclipses the moon and the stars. But most importantly it brings everyone to a stop. It makes them get together in one place and just stare at the sky.”
I looked back to the sky as four, then five of them exploded.
“Could you imagine this world without Romeo and Juliet, Obinna the Great to Adaeze,
Lancelot and Guinevere, Wei Xiao and Princess Changping, Quasimodo and Esmeralda? It would be…miserable. We wouldn’t dare risk the odds because we didn’t have examples of what that looked like. Your love, your life, has inspired millions—no billions—of people to love foolishly…selfishly…unreasonably, with no regard for anyone or anything else.” I repeated the lines of from the last book, and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes again. “And because of that, when we see fireworks, when we see true love, we must stop what we’re doing and respect it enough to just let it be, to watch it dominate the sky, we stare in awe of fireworks.”
I was so lost in my rant that I didn’t look back at him until I was finished, and when I finally did I found him looking at me. The way he looked at me… the hope, the pride, the kindness…it made my chest hurt because I thought he looked almost supernaturally beautiful. And I didn’t want to think that. Thinking that would make me think…about how much I liked him. About how fun it was to fight with him. And just live here…but that wasn’t my place. I didn’t want to be Li-Mei’s replacement…how could I possibly be?
“I’m tired. I’m going to head back,” I said as I rose from the log and set the cup down. “Thanks for coming with me.”
Wrapping my blanket around me I left him as quickly as I could, which meant that I ended up trying to make it through a maze of people all of whom were just standing still with their phones up in the air to take a picture. The more people I had to get through the more frustrated I became and I didn’t know why. But my head was spinning. I just wanted to run.
Finally, I made it off the beach and into the trail of the woods, just in time to see Murphy try to push away David who was hunched over her with a beer bottle in his hand.
“David, stop.” Murphy didn’t yell but she was trying her best to smack his hands away as he grabbed her jeans.
I grabbed a thick broken branch from the ground and was ready to use it as baseball bat when a large white hand grabbed the top half of the branch and the flash of a camera went off.
“I’m sure this would look bad in any context,” Malachi said still holding on to the branch I’d planned on using.
David backed away from Murphy quickly until he realized it was us.
“You’re starting to get on my fucking nerves!” He hollered as he started to advance towards us but Murphy grabbed his arm.
“Let it go.” She pulled as hard as she could even though she was a whole head and even a bit of his shoulders shorter than he was. “This was all just a misunderstanding. Right, Malachi?”
“Right.” Malachi nodded.
Begrudgingly, and clumsily, she took David, who looked ready to kill him…us, away. Malachi waited until they walked past us and headed back towards the lake before he snatched the branch out of my hand.
“Have you lost your mind?”
“He was about to—”
“This.” He waved the branch in my face before throwing it into the woods. “It doesn’t work. You hit him. He’ll want revenge, most likely by arresting you. And when you explain your side of the story Mindy—”
“Murphy.”
He looked ready to strangle me when I corrected him.
“Mandy, Mindy, Murphy, whatever. She’ll protect him. Not you. You can’t save people like that. They have to find a reason to save themselves. If you want to help take photos or video if you see something. But don’t go digging into lives of other people. You will get yourself hurt! Got it?”
“Okay, sorry! Stop yelling at me. Geez,” I snapped before walking up to the house, however, I only made it a few feet before I stopped and watched as the smallest white flake fell from the sky and danced in the air in front of my face. Reaching out I let it fall right into the palm of my hand and melt. When I looked back up I saw the thick clouds that crawled over the sky. Clouds that hid the stars and brought the snow from the mountains to us. One by one they came down.
“It looks like there’s going to be a storm,” Malachi said softly, reaching out for them as well. “The guest cabin is cold.”
“It hasn’t been too bad.” I held on tighter to the quilt over my shoulders.
“Stay in the guest room instead.” That was all he said as he turned and walked in front of me.
“You could say please.”
“Or you’re free to freeze if you’d like!” He called out and I couldn’t help but grin. He just had to throw in a little salt with his kindness.
MALACHI
“Malachi!”
What have I done? I thought as she ripped the curtains open and sent all the light in the universe into the room.
“Malachi, get up. Look.”
“I’m sure the snow will still be there when it’s not…” I lifted my phone and looked at the time. “FIVE O’ CLOCK!” I’d gone to bed four hours ago! She was insane!
“In a few hours people are going to start walking about and shoveling it and it’s not going to look like it looks now.” She turned back to me. Her curly hair was pulled up and tied around her hairline with a scarf she’d fashioned into a bow.
Grabbing the pillow off my bed I put it over my face. But why should I suffer alone? Sitting up I grabbed another one and threw it at the back of her head.
“Oh you’re going to regret that,” she said as she bent down and picked up the pillow from the ground.
“Don’t,” I warned her.
She ran towards me like a madwoman and I got up quickly grabbing the other pillow to block hers. She didn’t let up and so I smacked her side with it. And she stood there shocked like she wasn’t expecting me to hit her back.
“How’s that regret thing going?”
“I’m making progress,” she replied right before the pillow hit me square across my cheek…and a flash of déjà vu came to mind.
This was the second time she’d hit me across the face with a pillow. This time it was war. Around my room we fought smacking each other as hard as we could until our pillows gave out and sent all their feathers into the air, onto the ground, and all over my room, covering the place in white, almost matching the sight outside the window.
“There are so many things I want to ask right now.”
We both froze at that voice. That God-like voice. I looked over her shoulder at him. He stood dressed in his signature suit and colored ascot, today’s choice a deep purple. He looked completely fine…with the exception of the cane he was holding on to. It was like he’d been living here this whole time...Had he come here because it worked? Had the treatment worked? I glanced down at Esther, expecting her to turn back to him, but instead she was actually frozen. Not just her, but everything was. The snow falling outside, the feathers falling inside, it was all suspended in time.
He looked at her for a long time then snickered and I saw it…the look in his eyes. He hadn’t just shown up. He was here…to say goodbye.
“Alfred?”
“Don’t tell her until after today. I can’t die on her birthday,” he said to me.
“Alfred…no.” I shook my head. He couldn’t die at all.
“Do me one last favor?” he asked.
I couldn’t speak. My throat burned and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. I was frozen, just like Esther.
“Today is going to be her last good day for a while…make it count for her, okay? I made a video for her, so she won’t know until later.”
“Alfred…don’t please…PLEASE!” The tears burned as they came down my face.
“I’ll miss you too. This is a good dream.” He nodded looking around. “Have more of these types of dreams. Better yet, try to live more like this too okay? Know that I love you and I’m proud of you both.”
***
“Malachi?”
When my eyes snapped open she was kneeling in front of me. I stared into her brown eyes for a long time before I wiped my eyes. Rising from the bed I walked to my window and looked outside. All of Lieber Falls was covered in a thick layer of snow which seemed to glisten as the sunlight touched it.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Esther looked out, her face almost pressed against the glass. “Ha! My roses.”
I saw them, covered in snow, but the brightness of the red stood out in the whiteness.
“Why plant them?” I asked trying to regain my voice.
“Because I’m waiting for the real ones.” She smiled. “I planted rose seeds but they won’t bloom for a while. So I put the silk ones out until then. I love roses but they’re never in season during my birthday so I planted my own.”
“Today is your birthday?” I was hoping it was a lie. That it had only been a dream. That I could pretend I didn’t know what I knew.
She looked up to me as she grinned and outstretched her hands. “I’m officially twenty-three as of four a.m. this morning. What did you get me?” I looked at her hand and she laughed. “I’m just kidding—”
“Twenty-three wishes.”
“What?”
I turned to her. “You get twenty-three wishes. Anything you want. Just make a wish.”
“You’re serious?” She crossed her arms and eyed me carefully.
I nodded.
“You’re entering dangerous waters. I’m a big wisher.”
“Then start wishing.” For Alfred’s sake, my sake, her sake, I hoped she wished for the moon and more before the world tried to crush her heart.