“Jessie. Come on now. I’m not yelling anymore.”

Even if you do get a second chance, there are some things you just can’t change. I’d always been one of those teens who could sleep until noon and not think twice about it. Sure, I stayed out in the barn until eleven o’clock the night before, but there were plenty of times I’d stayed out way later and still gotten up for school.

My grams took amazing care of me, but she pretty much let me do what I wanted because I was a good kid. I got good grades, I was already taking classes for college credits, and I played a sport – or did anyway. Anytime she gave me a hard time about doing stuff or being out too late, I used that to my advantage. Plus, she was never really one to check up on me.

I was a good kid according to society. All my friend’s parents loved me, my picture was constantly in the sports section of the newspaper, and I was valedictorian. Oh, and I had perfect attendance every single year. I went to school even if I was sick, and I was right proud of that commitment as was my grams. That didn’t mean I didn’t give her a hard time or make her yell at me for thirty minutes every single morning.

“Jessie Darla Fenton. Breakfast!”

Groaning, I pulled Bogey the monkey closer to my chest and covered my head.

“Jessie Darla Fenton!” she called again.

Opening my eyes, memories of Royal instantly assailed me, and I thought about the barn, but mostly, I thought about kissing him. “I’m coming,” I called down, my legs kicking off the covers, feeling the need to hurry. Looking out the window, I wondered if it was supposed to be warmer than it had the day before.

“Hey, Siri. Give me a report on the weather,” I audibly teased while brushing out my soft, blonde hair. I dressed in jeans and a tee shirt with a sweater tied around my waist and galloped down the stairs.

“Morning, Grams,” I said with a quick kiss to her cheek. “Eww, your hair stinks like smoke.”

“I only smoked one, and I’ve been up for over an hour. Plus, I went outside,” she argued, adding that last part for a pat on the back.

I slid on to my customary chair and commenced to eating my chocolate gravy and biscuits. “I’m sorry. Good job. Now don’t smoke anymore today. That’s an order. Grams, you have to teach me how to make this. My kids are never going to know what they're missing if you don’t.”

“Don’t have kids. They’re a pain in the ass.”

With a mouthful of food, I agreed. “You’ve got that right.”

“Oh, you don’t even know, girl. Just you wait.And then, they have kids who are a pain in your ass.”

I laughed a little, feeling blessed and humbled that my grams had taken me in like she did. She didn’t have to do that. “You would have been terribly lonely without me, Grams.”

“Oh, gag me with a spoon,” she joked. That was my grams. Even though she was never one to hand out compliments,talk about anything emotional, or anything involving feelings, she loved me and took care of me the best way she knew how. She did exactly what she thought was best for me. She taught me how to be successful acording to her own definiton.

“Can I take the car again? I’m picking up Royal.”

“I’d tell you no because I don’t want you around that boy, but you’ll just do what you want anyway. I told you not to quit basketball, and you still did that.”

“Oh, stop complaining so much, Grams. This is all going to turn out just fine. I hope.” I added, once againrealizing I wasn’t sure how long I would be in this era.

“What did you find out? Why’d he come back?”

It wasn’t until that exact moment I realized I didn’t know. I’d forgotten to ask. I guess it didn’t even matter to me. He could have robbed a bank, and I would have hidden him. “I’m not sure, but it’s not drugs. I’m one-hundredpercent sure of that.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do know that, Grams.”

“Well, in case you don’t know that, just say no.”

I scarfed down another few bites and gathered my things. “I’m not going to do drugs, and that campaign really never did work. I’ll see you later. Don’t smoke.”

“Stop telling me what to do,” she called to my retreating back.

Grabbing my books, I purposely jumped all the steps and proudly slid behind the wheel of that old, green wagon. While I drove over to Royal’s house, I thought about how nervous I was when I’d first started dating Johnny. It was never even close to thisexcitement and calmness,which I hadn’t felt about anyone else in my life but Royal. It was like we’d just always fit, and things were easy between us.

I was nervous about his dad though. That’s why I refused to blow the horn. It had been years since I’d seen Royal’s dad, but I was also okay with that. He was meaner than anyone I ever met in my life. Not mean like Wendy, either. Rick Pierce was mean like Hitler. Leaving the car running for a fast getaway, I quietly closed the door and walked up to the old porch. I glanced to the right and the left, unsure of whether I had ever even been on his porch, and I knew for a fact I had never been in his house.

Tapping lightly, I heard Royal call for me to come in, and I opened the door to something I wasn’t expecting to walk into.

“Remember Jessie, Dad? You yelled at her when she was a little girl. She wouldn’t come around here because you told her if she came on your property again, you’d shoot her and feed her to the buzzards,” he said as he left his dad’s bed side and closed the distance between us.

“What’s wrong with him?” I questioned between a kiss.

Royal laced his fingers with mine and turned back to his dad’s hospital bed. “He’s sick. I have to wait for the nurse. She’ll be here any second.”

“Yeah, okay. That’s fine. Is he asleep?”

Royal shrugged a shoulder and pulled me to the kitchen. “I guess so. He’s been asleep for three days now.”

“Does he know you’re here?”

“I dunno. The nurse says he does.”

I walked right up to his chest when he turned to me. “Is that why you came back, Royal? For your dad?”

“No, I came back to be here for your time travel adventure.”

“You’re making fun of me again.”

Royal smiled against my lips, kissing me like he meant every word he said. I literally felt like he was telling me the truth. He would travel through any cosmic event, at any point in time, to meet me there, and I knew that with every part of my being.

For the first time in my entire school life, I didn’t care about going to school. I wanted to skip and kiss Royal for the entire day. “Want to go look for some horse spirits instead of going to school?”

“No way. You’re just trying to get me in trouble,” Royal teased.

I smiled but dropped my eyes, sighing from feelings I wasn’t sure about.

“What?” he questioned, raising my eyes to meet his.

“Nothing. I’m just ... never mind.”

“Jessie, what? You can’t hide stuff from me because I can feel it. You might as well tell me what’s on your mind.”

I smiled wider that time, knowing exactly what he meant. Royal was transparent to me too, but it wasn’t until that moment when I realized he always had been. Even the last time in high school, I felt his pain, and I felt how much it hurt him for me to shut him out. All because he wouldn’t be like everyone else. The last time was his fault because he was selfish, and he wouldn’t even try to fit in with the rest of us; this time, I knew it was on me, and I wouldn’t even ask him to. “I’m sorry, Royal.”

Royal read my mind without me having to say it out loud. “Don’t you feel sorry for me, Jessie. You were a little kid. I’m okay, and none of that was your fault.”

“You’re lying. How many times did I really get you in trouble?”

Starting with one finger, he ushered me to the front door. “Well, let’s see. There was the time you made me climb the water tower to see if the robin eggs hatched, all the times we played in Henry’s junk yard, the horse ghosts, the time the cops brought us home from the airport, the day we hopped a train and had to call your grandma to come and get us two-hours away.Need I go on?”

“That’s nice, Royal. So basically, you’re saying I caused you to get your ass beat every day.”

Royal laughed but waited until after he let the nurse in to respond. “Good morning, Karen. Have a good day. I’ll see you later.”

“Have a good day, Royal.”

Turning back to me, Royal closed the door behind us, kissed me, and responded to my last remark. “No, you didn’t cause me to get my ass kicked. You were just there to help me through it. I was going to get my ass kicked whether I was gone all day with you, or if I bent a page in the TV Guide. All my best memories come from you. You’re the only one who made me live in a dead world. You’ve always been my inspiration.”

I thought about that as I slid behind the wheel. Royal wasn’t my inspiration, he was a boy nobody liked, a boy I’d always loved but let go for the sake of something I had confused as dignity. My integrity had been dependent on what Wendy said. “We did have some crazy days. It’s a wonder we’re still alive.”

“Remember that deck of cards we put all the things we were going to do on? We were going to pick one every day until we’d done everything on all fifty-two cards? Remember?”

“Yes, we spent the whole day on those things because it was raining, and my grams wouldn’t let me out of her sight. That was the day after we accidentally let all Mr. Hester’s cows out.”

“You were the last one out,” Royal teased.

I laughed and leaned into his kiss. “Was not.”

Royal laughed that time. “Were too. Every morning before I’d head out to the field, I’d pick a card and pretend that was the adventure I was on that day. That’s where I was going. Do you know what I loved the most?”

“What?” I questioned, once again feeling the hurt in my heart. Picturing Royal out in a cabbage field in the hot Florida sun while I was out having fun with the people I thought were my friends.

“I loved picking cards that had something to do with water or snow because I knew I would be cool the whole day. You should have seen how excited I got when it rained on those days.”

“That makes me sad, Royal. I’m sorry your mom made you work when you were so young.”

“Oh, no. It wasn’t like that. I worked because we lived in a trailer on the farm. Zeke was an old man with a million stories. I liked hanging out with him, and he appreciated the help. Stop thinking I had a hard life. My life was no harder than yours. We’re all going through things, Jessie, and we always will. Life is about stages and the stages we have to go through to get to the next stage. You know? Except they’re different for each of us.”

“I’m way older than you. How can you be this wise?”

“No, I’m older than you by a couple weeks. Maybe I’m from the future, too.”

For two people who hadn’t seen each other in years, neither of us were at a lack of words. There was always something to talk about, and we laughed. A lot. I swear I was constantly wiping tears from my eyes or holding my gut. That’s what I had been doing when we pulled into the school parking lot. Just like I had been doing since I lost my ride in Johnny’s Camaro, I pulled down the back lane until Royal called me out on it.

“What are you doing? We’re senior’s.”

“Yeah, I know. I don’t mind walking.”

“You don’t mind walking, or you don’t want to be seen in this beast?”

“That, too,” I admitted. “I’ve already jumped out of the pan into the fire. I don’t need any more high school drama.”

“You don’t want to feed the lion. You would rather hide back here and be ashamed thancolor outside the lines.”

“What? That doesn’t even make sense. Are you being pissy?”

Royal laughed and kissed my lips. “Yes. Move this car.”

“Seriously? You’re going to make a big deal about this? You know they’re all standing around waiting to pounce, don’t you?”

“Is this still the same Jessie I left here in the third grade? I’m beginning to wonder. The Jessie I knew wouldn’t take shit from a bully, boy or girl. Is this the same Jessie who kicked that kid, Cleveland, right in the nuts during Sunday school? He was ten and way bigger.”

“My grams grounded me for a week for that, and I can’t kick Wendy in the nuts. Whatever. This is dumb,” I said, giving him his way while I moved the car.

“I’m not saying to kick her in the nuts. I’m simply wondering where the girl is who stood up for herself. I, myself, would rather not be the blunt of their jokes for the entire year. I’d rather get past it now.”

I wanted to tell him he needed to grow a pair then, but I didn’t. Instead, I parked the car and waited for the comments, but they weren’t there. Wendy met me at the door without saying one word about the wood paneled car.

“Hey, Jess.”

Grabbing my books from the backseat, I cautiously replied. “Um, hey.”

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry and make sure we’re okay. We’ve been friends for a really long time.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Thanks, Wendy. I’m sure that took a lot of courage.”

“Yeah, for sure,” she replied, but I couldn’t really tell if she was being sincere or not. She talked about a trivial movie, asking me if I wanted to go see it with her. While Royal walked a few steps behind with Jan, Wendy walked by me.

It wasn’t until we were almost to the door when she opened herself up to the evil that she really was. “So, we’re cool?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Great, let me know about the movie.”

“Okay, I will. Oh, hey, Vicki,” I called to the girl I’d promised my homework to.

“Yeah?” she asked with a cautious tone, eyeing me and then Wendy.

“Here, you. Sorry. I forgot to call last night.”

“Oh. I didn’t think you would really do it. I did it, but I wouldn’t mind checking them against yours. You’re way smarter.”

“Thank you. Sure, go ahead. I’ll see you later, Wendy,” I said, dismissing her with a glance toward Royal.

“Hey, wait. Is that the chemistry homework for Ms. Willard? I need it too.”

And there it was. Wendy needed me for my homework. I should have known, but I also felt like letting her have it was better than the alternative.

Royal stepped up, pulling me to our lockers. “Sorry, she only gives her homework to people who don’t use her.”

“Oh, my God, Royal. Why don’t I remember you being this much of a pain?”

“Tell her no. What happened to you?”

What happened to me? Now that was the question of the day, and he was right. What happened to me happened around the age of sevenwhen I met someone I thought I wanted to be like. Someone with a mommy and a daddy, a nice house with a pool, pretty things, and fancy cars. Those were the things I wanted. Now, I didn’t.

Royal and I parted ways in the hall with a kiss I dodged. He gave me a look but didn’t say anything. Standing there in a state of blankness, I watched him disappear, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Why was it okay for me to make out with Johnny Dixon in front of the whole school but not Royal? Not that I even had to ask, and I certainly didn’t have to dig too far to find the answer.

I took in a deep breath of air and turned to my locker, once again talking to myself out loud. “Because Johnny’s popular and Royal’s not.”

“Yes. Yes, that’s all I’m saying.” Wendy said from right beside me.

Glancing at her, I frowned, wondering where the hell she’d come from. She wasn’t there a second ago.“What?”

“Johnny’s popular. That’s what you want in your life, Jess. Okay, okay, think about it like this,” she said, holding on to both my shoulders while forcing me to look at her. Once she had my attention, and I stood there looking into her pool blue eyes, Wendy opened her hands and weighed options she felt important. “In this hand you have Johnny. In this hand you have Royal. Which one do you think can give you more?”

I didn’t have to dig for that one either. Taking both her hands, I raised the one she used as Royal and dropped the other one. “Was I really as shallow as you?”

Wendy stood there like I slapped her across the face, unable to speak until I turned and walked away. “Wh, what about the homework?”

I laughed, but I didn’t stop to turn around. That had really been my life, but not once did I ever think Wendy was nice to me just for my brains. Sure, I supplied her with years of homework papers, but I didn’t think that was the only reason she was my friend. Now, I had to wonder. Honestly, I had to wonder about a lot of things.