Arriving on campus after all this time seems surreal. I can't believe I've been gone for almost a month. My college education has ended before it even began, and for a moment, I grieve at the loss of innocence. I shake my head trying to dissipate the conflicting emotions. This was never my life, just an act. I could classify it as a part in a school play, and then the curtain fell. I was here for a moment, and now that moment is gone. I can't allow myself to be distracted by what could've been. The only real emotional attachment I can allow is Jemma. I'm afraid to face her.

"You know coming here is probably like walking into a trap, right?" Brendan breaks the five-hour silence as we get out of the vehicle. It's been raining too hard to take his motorcycle, but the tense ride would've been easier if I didn't have to see him gripping the steering wheel as if his life depended on it.

"Yes, I know,” I reply, stretching after being in the car for so long. "But it doesn't change the fact that there is a pull for me to be here and I've been ignoring it for way too long."

"This is the first I'm hearing about it."

"That's because it's the first I'm telling you about it."

I don't wait for a response and head toward my dorm. There are not many people out, since the rain is still coming down. Not as hard as it's been, but hard enough to keep the couples and study groups inside.

With my new and improved vision, I can see an unnatural kind of a film around the place, a ripple in the fabric of reality. Reaching out to Brendan, I stop his progress across the yard, but he's already on alert.

"I see it too. Someone's here."

"We still need to go in, Brendan. I can't explain it, I just know we do."

He doesn't question me again and follows me through the mist and up the stairs. When we walk into my dorm room the sense of nostalgia is almost overpowering. Memories, so close to the surface, bursting to come free. And yet, they don't. Whatever barrier is keeping them down, it's staying firm. For now.

"Anything?" Brendan asks, watching me as I stand in the middle of the room, trying to figure out why I felt such a pull to come here. I glance up at him as he looks out the window, studying our surroundings in that precise way of his. I shake my head in response, not trusting myself to speak. The majyk inside flares up again, and I curl my hands into fists, pushing it away. I thought it was getting better because on the way here, I didn't experience any sudden flashes. But now, standing in my dorm room, I'm having a hard time controlling it.

"Cali!" I twirl around at the sound of my best friend’s voice and the next thing I know I'm swallowed in the circle of her arms. "Where have you been? I've been so worried. Your cryptic phone calls and texts were doing nothing to help me sleep at night." She pulls back, giving me a once over. "You look amazing! You're basically glowing. Is that purple in your hair? What kind of a diet you've been on? And you—“ Jemma turns to Brendan, pointing her finger at him as if reprimanding a child. "How dare you take her away and not give me any kind of a notice? I could've helped plan something. I could've been there. I could’ve—"

"Jemma!" I stop her stream of questioning, holding up my hands to calm her down. She hasn't taken a breath yet. "Calm down. I'm here, I'll answer your questions, and I'm sorry."

This time it's me who reaches out and gives her a hug. I never meant to put her through all that. I thought staying away would keep her safe. Now I'm not so sure anything I do is the right thing. Just being in the same room with her is calming me down more than anything I could've done on my own.

"But first, can we just—“ But I don't get to finish. A flash of pain pierces through me and then I'm inside of a memory.

I open my eyes to find myself in yet another meadow. I'm not sure why my memories keep putting me here or maybe Skazka is really all forests and castles.

This memory feels different from the start. Instead of watching it play out like a movie, I'm inside of it, seeing through the eyes of my former self. And yet, I can clearly think outside of the memory parameters. It's a weird combination. It's as if I'm here, but I'm not.

My former self and I lie back down into the tall grass, digging our fingers into the dirt. I can feel the coolness of the ground beneath my palms as if I'm physically present. The power surges through me, moving under my fingertips and into the earth. The ground shakes, as if something is waking up below and I feel myself smiling, pleased at the plan coming together.

Sitting up, I stretch out to touch the grass in front of me when I feel movement behind me. The next moment, a large head butts against my shoulder and I'm smiling once more.

"Zdrastvui dorogoi," I greet whomever is there with warmth. Turning just slightly my eyes land on the biggest cat I have ever seen. Larger than a lion, the cat is a deep turquoise color with piercing white eyes staring right at me. He looks hungry, but I don't seem afraid. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm happy to see him. Thrilled.

I reach out with my hand, running it over his deep silky fur. The cat's purr rumbles deep within his chest, vibrating up my arm while he moves closer. As I pet him, he lies down beside me, curling his massive body around me like a protective barrier.

"Moi malish. Moi horoshii kotik," I sing song the sweet words, sounding more and more like a lullaby. "Not long now, kotik moi. Not long at all."

Now that he's here, I feel like I can relax. I lean back, sinking into him as he continues to purr. Sleep comes and it's pleasant.

For some reason, I know it's more pleasant that it's been in weeks.

Then, I'm myself again, and the pain is unbearable.