Ava stared at the wall across the room from where she lay in Calix’s bed. The mattress and linens had been completely replaced since Calla’s water had broken, leaving no trace that a child had been born there just hours before. It brought to mind how easily life came by, living in the mansion. Always someone to take care of things, to ensure comfort.

Ryke had always kept a butler to make himself look regal, and maids who were better suited for the Playboy mansion. None of it had been for her benefit, or comfort, though. It was all part of his façade. His show. Not like at the demon’s mansion. That was real, as real as luxury could possibly get for her, and yet, she still couldn’t entirely surrender herself to it. A part of her felt as though she were dreaming, perhaps still trapped in that cold cellar with those disgusting creatures staring down at her from the ceiling.

The visual only cast a ripple of disgust down her spine.

Since leaving that place, a part of her felt undeserving. Dirty.

Infected.

The bed dipped from behind as Calix slid beneath the blankets, and cords of muscle banded her stomach before her body slid backward into his. The clean scent of soap drifted over, and that aroma he wore like his own brand of masculinity watered her mouth.

A warm palm skated up her body, his other arm beneath her, crossing over her chest, and when his fingers dug into the supple flesh of her breasts, she arched into him, prodding them into his hand for more.

Nothing would ever compare to sex with Calix. The man’s body acted as a weapon, and all she could do was surrender to him and hope that she’d survive the aftermath.

His knee slid between the gap in her thighs, and he shoved her leg over his spreading them open.

“Let me give you release. You need to feed.” She set her hand on his, but he swatted it away, spreading her wider.

“I’m fine. You first.” Calix’s greatest talent lay in his ability to do two things at once, so when his fingers slid back and forth along her cleft, his rolling of her nipple never once faltered, while his tongue traced the shell of her ear. As if his body had been made strictly for bringing a woman the ultimate pleasure.

Ava’s lip slipped between her teeth, while his deft fingers stroked her slick sensitive flesh. Her mind fell into fantasy, visuals of exactly what he was doing to her, and because Calix could read her mind, her darkest secrets like a book, he knew to pinch her nipple at that exact moment, creating the most exquisite mishmash of pain and pleasure. An appreciative moan leaked from her mouth, and she rolled her hips with his assaulting caresses. She’d never have to tell him what to do. He could see it all. So when his finger dipped inside of her, followed by a second, she cried out, clutching her pillow. “Ah, Gods, Calix.”

“You’re wet, Ava. Fucking hell, your pussy is so wet right now.”

“Isn’t that the standard for you?”

“No female has ever had me this strung out.” In and out, his fingers pumped, until the sounds of her weeping pussy confessed her pleasure.

She closed her eyes to something dark that clung to the fringes, and as it became clearer in her mind, sweeping over the visuals of what he was doing to her, Calix paused. As much as her mind scrambled to reel it in, to tuck it back inside it’s wicked vault, she couldn’t. It was depraved, but it was her truth, and no amount of lying would convince Calix otherwise.

“Are you certain that’s what you want?”

Her brows furrowed in shame. She’d never asked him for anything like it before. As kinky as they’d gotten, it’d never crossed that line, but something had shifted inside of her in the last few months. The darkness she’d managed to keep hidden from Calix, vestiges of her past, had begun to slip through the cracks and make themselves known. “Please.”

He wouldn’t question it. No matter how odd or twisted or depraved. Calix had come to appreciate that some fantasies were darker than others, and he’d never shamed her for them, or given her reason to be embarrassed. But then, she’d never asked for something so out of the ordinary. His only rule was that he refused to do anything that put her in danger, or left any kind of permanent damage. “Only because you want this.”

“I do,” she whispered, pushing off the bed until she’d propped herself on all fours. Lowering her upper half, she rested her cheek against the mattress with her ass in the air and pushed her arms above her head.

Calix huffed and slid from the bed. He stood looking down on her, as she waited. And waited.

And waited.

Perhaps she’d crossed the line.

She almost told him to forget what he’d seen in her mind. To pretend she’d never suggested it, but as she lifted her head to tell him, he bent forward and tugged at the drawer of the adjacent nightstand. From inside, he pulled a strand of Diablis steel, positioned her hands behind her back, and wrapped it around her wrists. He withdrew a black silk scarf and crammed it into her mouth until the fabric tickled the back of her throat, and she gagged. When he drew some of the cloth out, though, she shook her head to stop him.

It was common knowledge that the Nephilim had some strange fetishes. Many had grown up abused and enslaved, so rape fantasies weren’t unheard of. Ava knew exactly how hers had derived.

To make cash on the streets, her brother often sold her to his friends for an hour at a time. Boys she’d developed small, girlish crushes on. Unaware that her brother had collected payment, she’d viewed their attractions to her as real. Their abuse of her body as acceptable, even when they’d wanted nothing to do with her afterward. They’d called her a slut. A whore. All while pleasuring her to orgasm, so how could it possibly be wrong? Over time, her mind had come to twist their indulgence into acts of affection. She’d welcomed it. Fantasized about it. Attempted to replicate those same sensations when she’d climaxed alone. Until she watched her brother collect payment from a male she’d fucked minutes before, and the humiliation had settled over her with a sudden clarity—she still craved the depravity.

With Calix, she didn’t have to suffer the rejection after. Wouldn’t be made to feel worthless and alone. He’d crave her in a way that no other male had, and she could let go with him. Enjoy her fantasies for what they were and nuzzle into his warm embrace afterward.

He covered her head with a pillow, and she could scarcely draw in a breath as the cotton closed in around her.

Another pause. Another huff.

He was clearly conflicted, but at the slow stroke of her ass cheek, followed by the harsh sting of a slap, Ava smiled in spite of the gag in her mouth.

Pressure against her head flipped some deep-seated switch inside of her, and she moaned into the fabric. As in her fantasy, Calix’s thumb pressed into her ass, breaching that tight ring of muscle, while his fingers probed her pussy. Warm skin slid across her walls, and she jerked forward as the thickness of his thumb plunged deeper inside her ass. The gag in her mouth, lack of breath, taut muscles, and pressure inside of her collided, and a deep belly grunt shot up into her chest. The silky sheets grazed her erect nipples, tickling her chest in a maddening bid for her attention. Ava’s whole body came alive as her mind took her back to the days when she’d lie in her bed, masturbating to the very same scenario.

Calix finger fucked both holes while pushing down on her head, and as Ava saw the scene from a birds-eye view in her mind—the T-shirt slid up to her neck, her ass sticking up in his face, arms tied—the humiliation and pleasure created an exquisite clash that left her gripping the steel that bound her wrists.

That was her fetish. Her deep, dark secret.

Calix had toyed with humiliation before, but nothing on the verge of asphyxiation. Mostly, he commanded her to do things in public. She once masturbated beneath the tablecloth at a crowded nightclub. On another occasion, he had her breasts smashed against the window of an abandoned building overlooking busy downtown, where they’d met up for sex. Another time, he’d put a remotely controlled vibrator up inside of her before taking her to the movies, where he’d tormented for two hours in a packed theater.

Never had she asked him for violence, though—until then.

If Ava was honest, her darker fantasies walked the line of rape, and as much as she’d have loved to dip into those turbid waters, she accepted that Calix would do just about anything she desired, but needed a gradual introduction. Even if his incubus nature made any manner of sex appealing, Ava knew his feelings for her drew a distinct line that he’d be hard-pressed to cross.

He upped the pace, pounding his fingers into her in the same rhythm slamming inside her skull, as the air diminished and dizziness settled over her. Gods, he’d hate what came next, but she knew Calix wouldn’t hesitate. He was designed to make fantasies come true, no matter how strange the fetish.

“How’s that? My dirty little whore. You like getting fucked, slut?” A stiff clip to his words told her his jaw had been clenched through every word.

She moaned again, muscles turning warm. Tense. The sounds of wetness had amplified from moments ago, confessing an embarrassing truth. She loved every second of it. Her body begged to keep going, but the lack of oxygen told her she didn’t have much time left. Would need to come, or risk passing out.

“C’mon, whore.” He slowed his pumping to a tormenting, languid pace and the pillow lifted from her face. A sharp sting hit her nipple as he pinched it. “You like that, don’t you?”

Exactly why no one would ever compare. Calix’s prowess couldn’t be matched. Even if she didn’t visualize that part, he knew her body’s needs. Her muffled cries only added to the excitement beating through her muscles, and when his fingers upped the pace again, she buried her face into the mattress and let the darkness pull her under. Belly tight, ass high, muscles trembling, she felt the tingles of pleasure climb her spine, and as they reached the back of her head, they exploded into a blinding light that had her screaming into the mattress.

Calix’s fingers slowed, slowed, until he withdrew them.

Gripping her hips, he tugged her to the edge of the bed, and as he positioned himself, a thought struck her. She moaned in protest and panic as soon as his rigid cock pressed against her entrance.

Gods, she hated having to deny him, but the warning Oliver had given her sought to annihilate her high, and with it, any hopes that she could bring Calix relief that way.

The fabric unraveled from her mouth as he tugged it out, and she coughed the last bits of dust clinging to the back of her throat.

“I can’t. Not that way. I’ll bring you release, but not that way.”

“What’s going on?” He didn’t sound disappointed so much as concerned, and that only made it worse. A starving incubus who didn’t take the very sustenance he needed to survive, but instead tried to console her. Any other, and she’d have come to find out exactly what Oliver had done to her—because had he been any other incubus as starved as Calix, she’d have been raped repeatedly.

“Please, undo the binds.” She clamped her eyes closed, once again burying her face into the mattress while he released her wrists from the Diablis grip. Once free, she pushed onto her back and covered her face behind her palms. “I was taken. Kidnapped by some freak fucking scientist. For months, I was kept in some … underground hospital that’d been abandoned. I was to be used to mate those disgusting maggoty Sang.” Shivers ran down her body and, coupled to the coating of sweat across her skin, left her feeling cold and dirty. “They injected me. Every day I was given these horrific injections that felt like they were melting my bones.” Ava slid her hands from her face and looked down her body, to see Calix’s arms crossed, the male rubbing his chin as if trying to rub away the detonator of a bomb ready to go off. “I can only have sex with those … things, or whomever I’m with will die.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to find out. Oliver says it’s a disease that’s only transmitted through intercourse.”

“I just finger fucked the shit out of you and nothing happened.”

She shook her head, sitting up on the bed, wishing she could scrub every inch of her body. “When you ejaculate, it apparently sets off some reaction inside of me. He said it’s a way to keep the progenitor lines clean and pure. Unsullied.”

“We don’t come unless we’re bonded, Ava.”

Brows drawn, she shot him an unamused stare and tipped her head. “You know damn well it’s been known to happen.”

“We’ll call Drechler back. See if he’s got something for it.”

Lodging her fingers through her hair, Ava pulled her knees into her chest. “There isn’t a cure, Calix. It’s in my blood. I’m ruined. Disgusting. Nothing but a walking disease.” She buried her head into her folded arms and choked back a sob. “I’ll understand if you don’t want me anymore. I’m not an ideal mate. I’ll never bear a son for you.”

Arms slid beneath her legs, prompting her to look up as Calix lifted her off the bed and into his lap. He pressed her head against his chest. “Hear that? Bastard only beats for you, Ava. I don’t give a shit that you can’t bear a son. I’ve tried living without you, and I can’t. I won’t.”

She closed her eyes to stifle the tears welling there. “I want to give you everything, Calix. I want to give you what you need. But I can’t. I never will.”

“That’s not what I need from you, baby.” Gripping the back of her skull, he lifted her face until her eyes met his, swirling with compassion and sincerity. “I need your smile. Your voice. Your feisty bullshit that makes me crazy sometimes.” His lips tugged to a half smile. “All I need is you.”

“You’ll starve with me. You need sex, Calix. It’s a necessity, not a luxury for you.”

“Then, I’ll starve.”

With a frown, she pushed against his chest to break his hold. “And you think I could live with that? You think I’d ever want that for you? I can’t live in a world without you in it, either.”

“I’ll figure it out.” He pushed a strand of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear and cupped her jaw. “I’ll find another way. If I gotta beat off every hour to the sound of your voice, then that’s what I gotta do.”

A grin tugged at her cheeks. “That sounds like a lot of work.”

“You’d be surprised how easy it is.”

She stroked her hand along his stubbled cheek and pressed her lips to his. “Let me help you with that.” Palm to his chest, she urged him back onto the bed and straddled his body. Unlike him, she didn’t have access to the male’s fantasies, but he never seemed troubled by her efforts.

“I’ve been so damn miserable without you, Ava. Can’t fucking think. You’ve got my head so messed up right now.”

Crawling down his body, she paused to kiss the Wrath tattoo over his chest, moved down his washboard abs, and let her tongue trail his flesh until her chin hit his tip. “I’m going to take care of you, Calix. I want to make the pain go away.” With a dip of her head, she allowed his tip to breach her lips and dragged the small bit of fluid over her mouth, lubricating it, before she lapped it up with her tongue.

Calix shifted beneath her and groaned, both hands balled into fists at either side of his body. “Fuck, you feel like a dream.”

“Close your eyes.”

His scent made her ravenous, watering her mouth as she licked and sucked along his shaft. The veins pulsed against her tongue, hammering a rhythm of desperation inside her mouth, and when she finally took him to the base, she damn near gagged as his tip hit the back of her throat. Up and down, she sucked his flesh, the sweet taste of his cock dancing across her taste buds.

Every incubus had his own distinct flavor, and Calix’s was like none she’d ever tasted. Like caramel and apples—a taste that took her back to childhood, when she’d roam the orchards alone, lost in the endless rows of trees, where she’d lay in the sun as she’d enjoyed her favorite treat.

Another perk of the incubi. The more she sucked him, the more intense the memory and joy and the flavor filled her mouth.

“Ah, fuck, Ava!”

She sucked harder, ravenous for the taste, her mind lost to memories and warmth. She moaned against him, never wanting it to end—not even when the dull ache cramped her jaw.

Calix bucked beneath her, and she pushed against his thighs to hold him down, unwilling to finish until she’d had her fill. She dug her nails into his flesh, sucking harder, milking the caramel taste that’d become an insatiable craving.

His curse boomed inside her skull, reverberating over the lost memories, breaking her spell, and when the first spurts of hot cum hit the back of her throat, Ava swallowed it, along with the pulsing jets that followed.

“Motherfuck—!” Calix arched up off the bed, and still she wouldn’t relent, wouldn’t release him until the last of his load filled her mouth.

Pulling herself off his cock, she sensed he’d finally stilled and glanced up at him, licking the last of him from her lips.

He lay unmoving, his body trembling, and a twinge of panic had her crawling up his body and placing her hands either side of his face.

“Baby? Calix?”

He still convulsed beneath her, and she lifted his lid, her panic amping up a hundred notches at the way his eyes rolled back.

“Calix? What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong?”

His body planked and sagged, the shivering subsided, and his breathing finally slowed. For a moment, he lay still, eyes closed.

Ava’s breath hitched, her eyes searching for any sign of movement, until at last, his lips stretched to a smile, and she allowed herself a shaky exhale of relief. “Calix? Are you all right?”

“I’ve never been so fucking right in my life.”

“You scared me.” She slapped his chest and pushed off of him. “Jesus, I thought I’d killed you, or something!”

“Death by blowjob? That’s exactly how I want to go.”

“I’m serious. You freaked me out.” Staring down at his tight jaw and bliss-tinged expression, she tipped her head. “Is that the first time you’ve ever ejaculated?”

Nodding, he licked his lips and pulled her in for a kiss. “You’re mine now, Ava. We may not be bonded yet, but we both know you’re mine. My body’s already claimed you.”

She wouldn’t dare say it, but Ava knew. The moment she’d returned to him, she’d known his touch would make everything right.

And that scared the shit out of her.