“Oh,” Vicky said, her voice disappointed. She tried to turn her face away to hide it from Greg, who was quietly playing with a toy train in the corner as she spoke on the phone with her mother. “You mean you changed your mind about rehab?”
“I mean, like I said, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, Vic. It just doesn’t work. Besides, I’m not hurting anybody but myself. I don’t really see why it would make a difference.”
“You don’t think you are hurting anyone else?” Vicky asked, incredulous. What kind of nerve did her mother have, calling her to tell her this? “You have always been hurting me, mom. Me and my siblings. All of us are hurt by this!”
“Well that’s only because you can’t mind your own business!”
“Actually,” Vicky said, her voice rising. She heard Greg’s train stop moving as he paused to listen to her. “It’s because it puts an unfair burden on the people who have to pick up the slack for your responsibilities and then we end up having to take care of you too. We were children, ma. It isn’t fair for anyone. Especially not you. You deserve a chance at a better life.”
Vicky’s mom would normally be defensive about now, and she braced herself for the self-righteous rant. But instead, her mom inhaled, a deep, shuddering sound that nearly broke her heart.
“I’m sorry that burden fell on your shoulders, Vic. I never wanted that for any of you. I love you all so much. I’m sorry.”
This was a first. Her mother seemed genuinely remorseful. Why?
“I understand. I don’t blame you. I blame your addiction. That’s why I want you to get help with it. Then you can make better choices. For yourself and for the people who love you. Don’t you see that?”
Her mother was silent for a few moments before responding.
“Yes. I do.”
“All right. Well I can’t force you into doing anything you want to do. I just thought it would be helpful, you know? Let me know if you change your mind. I have to go now though; the kids need me.”
“Sure, Vic. I love you.”
“Yeah. I love you too.”
When she hung up, Vicky sighed heavily.
“We don’t need you right now,” Greg pointed out quietly. “You just didn’t want to talk to her anymore. Why not?”
He stood from his spot and walked slowly toward her. the house was quiet, with Marie sleeping and Michael studying in his room. It was only Greg and Vicky down in the living room now.
“Sometimes it hurts too much to love someone,” Vicky said, trying not to cry as she fixed a sad smile on Greg.
He nodded sagely and climbed onto the couch beside her, resting his head on her shoulder. They sat like that together for a long time, until she heard Marie fumbling around in her bedroom.
“I guess I should make sure she isn’t getting into any trouble,” Vicky said with a small smile.
Greg nodded, his serious eyes fixed on her intently.
“I love you Vicky.”
Her heart surged with joy and adoration and she smiled at Greg.
“I love you too, buddy,” she said. She had never meant the words more. “I’m going to go check on Marie now. Thank you for sitting with me. I feel a lot better.”
Greg smiled broadly and went back to his train, and Vicky headed up the stairs to tend to his sister, unable to believe how little it could sometimes take to lift one’s spirit from a crumbled-up mess on the floor and make it soar.
When she made it into Marie’s room, she found the little girl pouting in her bed, big tears in her eyes.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?”
Mary’s tears turned into an all-out wail and Vicky winced, going to the child, and gathering her up in her arms.
“What is it?” Vicky asked. “You can tell me. Sometimes it helps to talk about it. Did you have a bad dream?”
Marie let out another small sob and nodded.
“Want to tell me what it was about?”
She shook her head. “It was scary!” she exclaimed. “And bad!”
“It was bad and scary?” Victoria murmured, rocking Marie gently. She could feel the child relaxing somewhat in her arms. She had always known how to comfort a child, ever since her siblings had come into the world. It was a skill she had developed, and she seemed naturally adept to it.
“Yes,” Marie said, taking in a deep gasp of air. “Bad and scary.”
“How was it scary?” Vicky asked. “You know it’s just a dream, right? None of that is real. All of us have bad dreams sometimes and it doesn’t mean anything bad will happen to us.”
“It was bad and scary because we got a pool and there were monsters in it. Dragons who wanted to hurt us.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Vicky said, holding the child tightly. “That’s not what’s going to happen. The dragon shifters know to stay on their own mountain and sometimes, even if they come around here, there are people who protect you. Besides, why would a dragon want to go into a pool. If they get their wings wet, it will be too hard for them to fly.”
Marie’s sobs cut off abruptly. “Really?”
“That’s right,” Vicky said, caressing the child’s hair gently. “I read all about them. Their wings must stay dry. They would never go into your pool on purpose. I promise.”
“Oh,” Marie said, quietly contemplating this. “Dragon shifters don’t want to get their wings wet.”
“They don’t want to get their wings wet at all. Otherwise they can’t fly.”
“Okay,” Marie said, clearly feeling much better about it all. “I’m glad. I don’t want any dragons in my pool! Yuck!”
“Yuck is right!” Vicky said, squelching up her nose and making a silly face at Marie. “We don’t want any weird monsters in our pool. But don’t worry. Most of the time, water doesn’t work for bad guys. Like in that movie with the witch who melts when she gets wet.”
“Oh, I saw that!” Marie exclaimed, bouncing excitedly. “Can we go watch a movie now?”
“Sure honey, let’s do that. But first, are you hungry? It’s about lunch time.”
“Yeah!” Marie’s enthusiasm was back, and Vicky was relieved about that.
“Okay, what do you want to eat?” she asked the child.
“Sandwiches!”
“Sandwiches it is!” Vicky pinched the child’s nose gently and then helped her off the bed before standing. She checked on Michael, who was listening to music with headphones while pouring over a thick book full of medical texts. He sure was a serious and hardworking little boy. Bruce should be very proud of him. Vicky sure was.
Everybody she had ever worked for had been sure they had the greatest kids in the world, and although Vicky was pleasantly surprised with many of them, it was rare that they had the chance to shine in the way their parents liked to brag about. And it was even more rare to encounter a parent who was so modest about the feats of his incredible children. There tended to be a discrepancy there; either the children were secretly spoiled brats who had a tough time communicating with the rest of the world, or they were far under reaching of their parent’s expectations.
Regardless, Bruce had already stepped far ahead of the game in not bragging up his children, although it had come as quite a surprise when he had second-guessed her authority. He was overprotective, that much was certain. But at the same time, he was overprotective in a way that made her feel very certain he was a kind and incredible person. It was a strange combination, despite how much it had stung in the moment to be reprimanded by him for doing what came most naturally to her.
But it was all right. In fact, it was more than all right. He was just being himself and felt comfortable enough around her to do so. That meant whether he was causing waves or not, he felt she could handle it. They could be one with each other. Honest at least. Without worrying about the repercussions. If nothing else he wasn’t going to find enough fault in her to fire her, at least not for this. As difficult as it might be for her to think about it, there was a very high likelihood he would keep her around, even if just because they had been intimate with one another.
Either way, it was hard for her to get him out of her head, whether she was thinking about her professional career or just her personal feelings. She wanted him incessantly, and she had a feeling that, until she was able to be with him again, that feeling was going to linger.
But that simply couldn’t happen. Both of them had agreed it was a slippery slope, and one that could potentially hurt the children as much as it hurt them. She was tired of feeling like she was walking on eggshells. She needed something secure, a stable and consistent job that wouldn’t be threatened by anything. Even if that meant she never touched Bruce again.