Chapter 30
The ride back to BlackLodge was long and draining. Exhaustion kept trying to tug Cersi under, but she fought it like a champ. Noah had ridden back with her and Tyson because Haddix’s truck had been pretty crowded with the rest of the pack. Noah’s presence in the back seat kept Cersi from saying anything to Tyson. She wanted to though. They needed to clear some things up because she could tell he was confused and riled up by the way he kept strangling the steering wheel and then releasing it.
The entire ride, Noah had filled Tyson in on what had happened. Cersi wished he hadn’t because the more he talked about Regan and his men storming BlackLodge and taking Cersi, the more worked up Tyson became.
When Noah got to the part where he saw Regan carrying Cersi’s unconscious body out of the main house, Tyson ticked his lip up and snarled something fierce.
“Noah,” Cersi admonished, and for once the younger shifter understood.
“Shit! Sorry, Ty. I’ll zip it.”
And he did. The trip grew quiet. Cersi managed to doze off a time or two but startled awake each time. And every time her head snapped up, her gaze darted about the cabin of the truck frantically as she tried to get her bearings before Tyson would reach over and squeeze her thigh with reassuring words that soothed her.
Eventually, they turned onto the road that led up to BlackLodge and Cersi was so relieved she wanted to cry. She’d never admit it, but all the drive home, she kept checking the passenger side mirror to make sure none of The Council shifters were chasing them down. The politics of it all was surprising, and there was a lot she didn’t understand, and sadly, right now, she was too tired to try.
Tyson pulled the truck to a stop in front of the main house but kept it running. He looked in the rearview mirror and shot Noah a dismissive, “Goodnight.”
With a snort, Noah climbed from the truck. “Night you two.” He slammed the door just as Cersi clicked off her seatbelt.
She didn’t want to be presumptuous and stay in Tyson’s truck, but she really didn’t want to leave him either.
“My stuff is in my car, so I guess I’ll…”
“Uh-uh,” Tyson cut her off and pulled the truck away from the house. The drive down the snow-filled road to his cabin was quiet, and when the truck slid to a halt in front of his place, he told Cersi, “Stay there.”
She didn’t know why. She thought maybe he was grabbing something from his place, but he circled the truck, opened her door, and lifted her out.
“Snow’s deep.”
She didn’t complain though. No, being in Tyson’s arms after the day she’d just had felt like being home.
He carried her up his front steps and then shoved his door open and carried her inside.
Alone in his cabin, disappointment swamped her when he set her down and went to the kitchen where he blasted on water and rinsed the dried blood from his hands and arms. Watching him, Cersi wrung her hands as she paced the length of his living room twice before turning to face him. “Tyson, look I…”
Heavy steps pounded up the front steps, interrupting her, and Cersi wanted to scream in frustration. From the look on Tyson’s face, he didn’t want visitors either, but maybe it was more than that.
Without a word, he crossed the room and planted his big body between her and the door. He was protecting her…again.
“It’s just me,” Haddix announced a second before he pushed open the front door and stepped into the room. “I just wanna talk to Cersi. I’ve got a few questions.”
A rolling growl was filling the room because Tyson was still too worked up.
“I…I don’t wanna talk right now, Haddix,” Cersi stammered. “Can it wait?”
Before Haddix could answer, Tyson glanced over his shoulder at Cersi, gave her a nod and then turned his attention back to Haddix with a snarled, “Leave!”
“Jesus fuck man, calm down!” Haddix tone was irritated, but he must have understood because he heaved a sigh and acquiesced. “I’m just trying to make sure this never happens again. I am Alpha around here, just in case you forgot.” Some of the venom left his tone when he said, “Tomorrow, Cersi. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Then he was gone, and when the tension and worry over Tyson attacking Haddix faded, Cersi realized she was dead on her feet.
“I’m exhausted,” she announced tiredly. “I can’t do this right now. I-I need some sleep.” Without thinking, she turned and headed for Tyson’s room, only stopping when her hand was on the doorknob. Looking up at the door, she caught herself just before she went in.
Holy crow! She’d gone to his room like it was hers like it was…theirs. She’d acted on instinct and had barely caught herself. Tired, she told herself. I’m just tired.
Whirling around, she found Tyson standing right behind her. He didn’t look confused though. Hell, he didn’t even look thrown. Nope, he looked like he’d followed her down the hall to his room a thousand times. He was acting like her strolling to his room for her nap was the most natural thing in the world.
“I wanna know,” he growled.
Dainty brows spearing down, Cersi hesitated only a moment before asking, “Know what?”
“I wanna know if love is real.”
With a feminine snort, Cersi clenched and unclenched her hands, glancing to the side of him and wondering if she could squeeze past. She stepped to the side to go around him, but he took a step too and cut her off. Frustrated, she sidestepped to his left, but he blocked that way too. Even if she could beat his speed, it didn’t matter. His shoulders were too wide, almost brushing both walls. She’d never get by him. With his room at her back and him blocking the hall, she had nowhere to go.
Shrugging to feign indifference she said, “You’re asking the wrong woman. I don’t know about love, not the kind you’re talking about.”
His voice was gruff when he asked, “You incapable of love, Beautiful?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I mean my parents didn’t even want me, so I…”
“Don’t!” he snarled, cutting her off as his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. “You’re not gonna stand here in front of me and talk shit about yourself.” He rolled his head on his shoulders like he was trying to alleviate some of the tension there. “Monster’s already riled up. Don’t push him over the edge.”
Unblinking, Cersi held his gaze. “Wasn’t talking shit, Tyson. I was speaking the truth. If you’re looking for a lesson on whether love is real, I can’t answer that for you. I just… I wanna talk about us. I need to talk about us, but I’m so tired.” Her eyes turned imploring. “I’m exhausted, Tyson.”
When he made no move, she tried to push past him, but he caught her arm in a lightning-fast move that had her gasping.
Her eyes dropped to the strong fingers holding her, and for the first in a very long time, Cersi was afraid of something. She wasn’t afraid of him hurting her. No, she’d never fear Tyson or his Monster. What she was afraid of was looking up. She was afraid to meet Tyson’s eyes. She was afraid of him seeing what was hidden there. She was afraid he’d see her hope and smash it to oblivion just like everyone else had always done.
Swallowing hard, she tried for that steely resolve that had never failed her before. It was failing her now. It had completely abandoned her. She searched frantically within herself for her typical snarky comeback. She found nothing, and she needed it because she was terrified. She was petrified to talk to Tyson about what was happening between them because she was afraid that on the drive back to BlackLodge he’d changed his mind. She’d walked on him after all. She’d basically thrown his offer of love back in his face, and now she was worried he’d do the same to her.
Before he could get the chance to hurt her like that, she lifted her chin and locked hard eyes on his, declaring, “I said we’d talk later. I’m not sure yet what it is I want.” It was cowardly, and she knew it. She was running. She was hiding. She knew exactly what she wanted. Him. She was just too damn cowardly to ask for it. “Now take your hands off me.”
Tyson stared at her intently. After a moment, when she refused to blink, he pulled her harder into him.
Her mutinous little chin lifted to keep eye contact, and as hard as she was trying to hide it, she knew that the flare of his nostrils told him what he needed. His cheek twitched one second before the corner of his mouth lifted. “Your lies smell so fucking sweet they make my dick hard.”
“It-it’s not a lie,” she countered, trying to jerk back. “I don’t know how to show you if love is real, Tyson. Maybe something else. I can give you something, but I can’t give you that.”
“Funny,” he angled his head. “You had something for me when we were in my cabin.”
A flare of color hit her cheeks. “I…I was just messing around.”
He pulled her closer still until his nose touched hers. His voice shook when he growled, “I wasn’t.”
Grabbing the back of her neck, he kissed her so fucking deep that she forgot whose air she was breathing.