Chapter Seventeen
5 Shelet
Well, I wasn’t intimidated by him. Unfortunately, he wasn’t intimidated by me either until it was too late. The only good thing that came of this is Crossar isn’t going to get what he wanted. Domenessar is never going to follow us.
We reached Barrekel a few hours before sunset, having sent our envoy ahead of us to request a meeting with Domenessar. While we were making camp (on the side of the city away from the Barrekellian forces, to show good faith) the envoy returned with the message that Arron Domenessar welcomed us to Barrekel and invited us to wait on him at Dessani Manor in one hour. That irritated me, him thinking he had a right to order us around, but Cederic, calm as always, sent back our acceptance and told everyone who would be going to be ready to go into Barrekel in an hour. When I got Cederic alone in our tent, I said, “What are we going to do if this is a trap?”
“I am certain it could become a trap if Arron Domenessar chooses to make it one,” Cederic said, “which is why we are bringing so many Balaenic mages skilled in the offensive pouvrin. We do not know if he has any mages of his own, but even if we cannot take him by surprise, our mages are almost certainly more skilled fighters than his. And if he chooses to assault us, you and I, my love, are not exactly helpless.”
“It’s still a huge risk,” I said. “We should have insisted on a halfway camp.”
“It’s unlikely he would have agreed to that, since he wants to display his power over us,” he said. “Better to allow him his pride, since we are about to pull his support out from under him.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said. We changed our clothes and went to meet with the others. Thistle makes a good show of being glad to see me these days, but I’m not letting my guard down. Mattiak and Bronnok were dressed in their formal uniforms (Drussik and Kalanik were staying behind in case Domenessar got ideas about cutting off the head of our army) and Crossar was wearing something that actually fit, though it wasn’t as fancy or formal as I’m sure he’s used to. I don’t spend any more time near him than I have to, but tonight I was going to pretend I liked him so Domenessar wouldn’t think we weren’t completely united.
Cederic and I were in simplified versions of our Imperial garb, less ornate and easier to fight or run in. We looked elegant, and fierce, and completely competent. Not that any of that mattered, in the end.
Our progress through Barrekel drew a lot of attention of the muttering type. Mostly they all watched us as if they didn’t know what to make of us, which made sense. Cederic behaved as if they were warmly welcoming. I kept my eyes open for assassins.
This time, our heralds didn’t announce our identities, and the attention didn’t turn ugly, and we reached Dessani Manor with no incidents. Again we followed a liveried man through the manor and into Domenessar’s audience chamber, and again Domenessar faced us from his seat at the far end of the room, with soldiers standing at attention against the walls (outnumbering us, I saw). He looked as handsome, and as irritated, as ever.
“Arron Domenessar,” Cederic said before Domenessar could speak, “thank you for your invitation. We hope this means you have changed your mind.”
Domenessar ignored him, focusing with some surprise on Crossar. “Caelan,” he said. “They told us you’d been executed for treason.”
“I escaped Venetry before that could happen,” Crossar said.
“What are you doing here, with these people?” Domenessar said, in a tone of voice that clearly said what he thought of “these people.”
“I have decided Cederic Aleynten is the best choice to rule our combined countries,” Crossar said.
Domenessar looked even more surprised. Then he laughed. “Caelen, you’re not a fool,” he said. “This man has no chance of ruling Balaen.”
“I disagree,” Crossar said coolly. “I’m here to ask you to throw your support behind him.”
Domenessar laughed harder. “Throw my support—” he said, then couldn’t speak for laughing again. I started to think seriously about circling him with fire. I don’t like being laughed at. “Oh, Caelan,” he finally said. “He’s got no support and barely any army. Why are you backing him? Join me, and be part of the winning side.”
“You have no more support than he does,” Crossar said. “And we have something that will convince the Lords Governor to support Aleynten over you.”
That killed his laughter. “I already have the support of Lirilla and Garwin,” he said, “and in a few weeks I’ll have the northern cities. Nothing you can say will convince them to follow a foreigner, especially since I’ve already demonstrated my leadership.”
“I wonder how long you’ll have their allegiance once they know the future Empress-Consort is the daughter of Alenik Daressar,” Crossar said.
I hate Crossar, but I had to admit it was perfect drama. Domenessar didn’t register his words at first. Then he snapped his gaze to me. Fortunately, I was ready for it, and didn’t flinch. “That’s a lie,” he said. “You expect me to believe this fishmonger is anything but a wharf rat? You’re making this up to support your claim.”
“Do you call me a liar, Arron Domenessar?” Crossar said. The coolness of his voice had gone icy. Domenessar went pale. “I guarantee you the Lords Governor will take my word for it. Aeleen Vrenssar was witness at this woman’s sanctification. She knew Alenik Daressar. Garwin’s support for you will vanish when she learns the truth.”
“Irrelevant,” Domenessar said, looking at me again. “You may be his daughter, but you know nothing of ruling. Your presence on the throne would be a disaster.”
“I know who I am, Domenessar,” I said. “I’ve traveled this country for years, learning how to be something other than a wharf rat. I’m capable of leading others and I know how to judge fairly and impartially. Cederic and I together are committed to bringing our countries together peacefully. We want you to be a part of that.”
“Do you,” Domenessar said, leaning back in his chair. “As your servant?”
“As viceroy of the southeast,” I said. We hadn’t actually decided what we’d call it, but better to sound as if we had an actual plan. “You support us as Emperor and Empress-Consort. You give us command of the Barrekellian forces. You help us gain the allegiance of the other Lords Governor. And you get to rule a quarter of the Empire.”
“What makes you think I’ll be satisfied with that?” he said.
“Because you can’t take this kingdom—these kingdoms—alone,” I said. “You need the support of the Lords Governor, and we’re going to take that away from you.”
Domenessar regarded me with narrowed eyes, as if he were considering something. “You think you can make promises like that?” he said.
“We are sworn rulers of this new Empire,” I said. “You just haven’t accepted that yet.”
Domenessar stood and strode toward us, stopping inches from me. I could almost feel Cederic tense. “You challenge me in my own hall?” he said.
“I doubt you’d have been willing to meet us on our own terms,” I said.
He was close enough that I felt his breath on my face. It smelled nasty. “Brave words,” he said.
“An Empress-Consort who’s afraid of her own subjects is a poor ruler,” I said. And it was true, I wasn’t afraid of him. Maybe that was the confidence of the surname, maybe it was realizing I could defend myself against him, but I just wasn’t afraid.
And then everything went to hell.
Domenessar shouted a command, and the soldiers came alert and moved on us so quickly there wasn’t time to do more than draw weapons. They stopped about a foot away from our group, forcing us to draw closer together, and I looked to Cederic for direction, but he had his attention on Domenessar. “Arron Domenessar, you are making a mistake,” he said.
“You have no right to rule this country, foreigner,” Domenessar said. “I’m not going to let your fishmonger wife, whatever her surname, sway the rulers of Balaen to your side. Caelan, I’m sorry about this, but if you’ve chosen to follow him, you’re a traitor to Balaen and I can’t allow you to live. Kill them all.”
The soldiers lunged. Mattiak threw himself in front of me. Cederic swept three soldiers away to go flying into the wall. The mages behind me began to work the offensive pouvrin. And I brought up a great sweep of fire to circle Domenessar and shouted, “Stand down or he dies!”
It still took a minute for them to figure out what was going on, but then soldiers were backing away, lowering their swords, some of which were stained with blood. A few men lay motionless on the floor, but no one could look away from the fire long enough to tend to them. Domenessar himself stood motionless, his handsome face distorted with fear. “Sorcerer,” he said.
“Mage,” I said, “and you’re going to tell your soldiers to move well away from us or you’ll find out just how hot I can make this burn.”
Domenessar made a signal I thought was abbreviated thanks to the confines of his fiery cage, and the soldiers backed away until they were ranged against the rear wall, behind the dais. Cederic said, in a low murmur, “They will attack us when you extinguish that fire, and you are not to stay behind here to protect our escape.”
“I have a plan,” I murmured back. “Walk forward,” I told Domenessar. His eyes widened with fear. “Just do it,” I said. I began moving the fire forward so he was forced to do as I said. “Everyone else, out the door,” I added, and heard them moving behind me. Cederic took hold of my elbow and guided me so I could keep the fire in view. Domenessar was sweating from the heat and taking very short steps, and I sped the fire up so he had to walk at a normal pace. I was sweating myself, not from heat but from exertion. I’ve gotten better at maintaining fire without fuel as I’ve improved at making bigger fires, but it’s still difficult and exhausting. I really, really hoped I wouldn’t collapse before we all got out safely.
We made a terrifying group, soldiers bristling with weapons in case Domenessar’s men decided to follow us, mages prepared to work pouvrin, Cederic guiding me, and Crossar, for some reason, walking behind Domenessar with this smirk on his face I couldn’t understand. Still don’t understand. I had Domenessar walking fast enough the floor couldn’t actually ignite, but the whole hall smelled of burnt wood, and the air looked hazy from the smoke rising up from the scorched floor. By the time we reached the door, I was lightheaded and needed Cederic’s support.
The man who’d led us to the audience chamber was at the door, too terrified to move. “Please ask someone to ready our horses. We intend to depart,” Cederic said, and the man fled.
“You’ll never get out of the city,” Domenessar said, his voice barely more than a whisper.
“You’re not coming with us, if that’s what you’re afraid of,” I said. “You’re just a temporary hostage. A good one, too.”
He swore at me. I ignored him and said, “Cederic, he’s helpless, and his words can’t hurt me, so please don’t kill him.”
That shut Domenessar up—well, that and he could see Cederic’s face, which I couldn’t, but I could guess how he looked. He really doesn’t like people insulting me. It’s sort of romantic, even though he knows I can defend myself. Especially since I was proving it right then.
Eventually the horses were led to the front door, and everyone mounted. I backed toward Thistle, hoping someone would help me mount, but instead Cederic lifted me onto his horse, where I perched awkwardly and tried not to faint. “Arron Domenessar, this is your last chance,” Cederic said. “We will not hold it against you that you wanted power. Join us, lend us your support, and we will give you that power.”
“The bitch is almost unconscious from keeping me captive,” Domenessar snarled, “and when I’m free, I’ll set my soldiers on you and we’ll see how far your power will protect you.”
Cederic raised his hand, and Domenessar flew backward through the fire and into the stucco wall of the manor, so hard it knocked him unconscious. “Ride,” he said. I let go the pouvra and sagged into his arms. I didn’t fall unconscious, but I don’t remember much of the ride, just being jostled along sideways in front of Cederic, and then Mattiak lifting me down from the horse, and I found I could stand well enough that no one had to carry me to my tent. About halfway there, though, I tried to pull away from Cederic, who was supporting me. “We need to discuss this,” I said.
“We will, when you are more comfortable,” he said.
“Not the two of us, I mean our staff,” I said. “We need a plan because Domenessar is certainly going to send the troops after us in the morning.”
“You would fall down if I were not supporting you,” Cederic said. “You should rest for an hour or so, then join us. Sleep if you can.” He steered me through the tent door and to the bed, where he gently pressed me down onto it. “I will return for you soon. Promise me you will rest.”
“If you promise not to make any decisions without me,” I said. He nodded. So I lay down, but discovered I was tired but not sleepy, so I got up and wrote all this down. I know I did the right thing, because Domenessar was never going to agree to our plan, but there’s a part of me that wishes we—I—could have found a way to persuade him, if only because everything would have been so simple. As if any of this has been simple. Radryntor, Domenessar, even Crossar…I just wish people could see Cederic is the best man for the job and follow along. But, again, that would be too simple.
Cederic’s not back yet. I’m giving him five more minutes and then I’m going to the command tent myself.
6 Shelet, morning
I can’t believe it. We have the Black and Brown Armies.
No. What I can’t believe is that they were willing to follow me.
Cederic came almost exactly five minutes after I wrote that last and we went to the command tent. It looked as if people had been arguing. I sat in my chair and said, “Somebody please sum up the arguments for me, because I’m still tired and angry and not interested in listening to the actual arguments.”
They were quiet for a bit, looking at each other like they were all waiting for someone else to speak first. Finally, General Drussik said, “Your Majesty, we need to move the Army quickly to surround the Barrekellian forces. The Gray Army will remain here to protect you and the Emperor, and the Blue and Green Armies will flank the enemy—”
“They are not the enemy, Drussik!” Mattiak shouted. “Those are my men you’re talking about, and we are not going to attack them!”
“We have no alternative!” Drussik shouted back. “You think Domenessar won’t order them to turn on us the moment the sun hits the horizon? It’s either that or run away with our tails tucked under our asses!”
“Leaving to gain a better tactical position isn’t running away, Drussik,” Kalanik said.
“We’re never going to have a better tactical position,” Drussik said. “General Tarallan, you know what we have to do.”
“Leaving is what we have to do,” Mattiak said. “We’re going to strike camp and head for Teliarne. If Soessen and Roebart follow us, we need those Castaviran troops even if half of them don’t speak our language.”
“Are you certain there is no way to reason with them, General Tarallan?” Cederic said.
“If I could speak to them, maybe,” Mattiak said. “They weren’t willing to listen to me before, but maybe if they know the missing Daressar heir was with us…Roebart and Soessen both knew Alenik Daressar. Roebart was head of the Hasskian detachment before he was promoted. It might make a difference.”
“It’s too bad the Daressar heir can’t talk to them directly,” I said. Excitement started bubbling up inside me.
“If we could get to them…but Domenessar’s given orders. They’d only attack us before we could explain what we were there for,” Mattiak said.
“That’s true,” I said with a grin. “If only the Daressar heir could turn invisible and walk through walls. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
Mattiak stared down at me, then looked at Cederic. Cederic raised one eyebrow. “She has a point,” he said.
“Aleynten, are you actually going to allow your wife to walk into an enemy camp to talk to a couple of men who may not even believe she is who she claims to be?” Mattiak shouted.
“I don’t think ‘allow’ is the word you’re looking for,” I said.
“Sesskia,” Cederic said. I sobered at the serious look on his face. “This is a tremendous risk. General Tarallan is correct that these men may not believe you. You will be in great danger and we will not be able to rescue you.”
“I’ll go with Jeddan,” I said, “just in case, and I’ll be very careful. You know I always am.”
“I know you think little of your personal safety when you are in pursuit of your goal,” he said, “and while you may be the only one who can do this, you are also our only Empress-Consort. And my only wife.”
“Cederic, if we don’t have these forces, the former Empress will likely destroy us,” I said, “and then it won’t matter. You know you’d risk yourself if our positions were reversed.”
He sighed. “I know,” he said, kissing me. “You should go immediately, so they will have no time to react.”
“Then have someone find Jeddan, and I’ll get changed,” I said, because I’d rested while still wearing my Imperial clothes. Cederic came with me to help me dress, possibly because you need help getting out of the Imperial garb, but more likely because he wanted to keep me near him as long as possible. That made me feel guilty and sad, because I don’t like hurting him and I know how devastated he is when something happens to me. But one of the things I love most about him is how he never stops me doing what we know is right, no matter how dangerous it is. I couldn’t stay married to him if he tried to protect me by never letting me do anything.
When I was dressed—that took a while, because there was kissing, and hugging, and quiet endearments—we went back to the command tent, where Jeddan was waiting. I squeezed Cederic’s hand once more, and then Jeddan and I set off for the far side of Barrekel, and the Black and Brown Armies.
I never have found out why they name the divisions of the army after colors. There’s no White Army, of course—that’s the name given to Nessan’s elite forces, the color of death—and the army at Durran is just called the Northern Army, but I’d think they would run out of colors that sound strong and defiant. There’s certainly no Pink Army.
Anyway, the Black Army is under the command of General Roebart Gradden, and the Brown Army is commanded by General Soessen Ellert. We approached the Black Army because, as Mattiak said, General Gradden knew my Dad well, and would probably be the most responsive to my claim to be his daughter. It was a long walk to their headquarters, and we couldn’t take horses—that reminds me I never did find out what happened to Thistle when we left Dessani Manor. I’m surprised to discover I’m worried about her. I hope I’m not going soft.
We had to walk, and it was full dark when we reached the outer perimeter. I could tell the soldiers had no idea fighting was imminent, and I could also tell they were used to perimeter duty being boring, because I think we could have sneaked past them without concealing ourselves. Not that we were that bold. No point taking unnecessary risks.
Jeddan and I held hands so we wouldn’t get separated, and made our way almost-invisibly through the camp. It’s permanent, not a collection of tents, and the people definitely had the look that says they don’t expect to have to move anytime soon. There are actual roads between the buildings, and a lot of women who clearly live there, probably wives rather than camp followers, and even children running around, ignoring their mothers’ cries for them to come to bed. It made me sick to think Drussik wanted us to attack them unawares.
It took us a while to find the center of camp, but the command center was obvious by how well lit it was and how much activity was going on there. The rest of the camp might be oblivious, but it sure looked as if Domenessar had sent General Gradden some very upsetting orders. Jeddan and I found a quiet corner still within sight of the command building and had a whispered discussion.
“I think if I go in there with you, I’ll look like a threat,” Jeddan said. “On the other hand, the Emperor will kill me if I let you get injured because I wasn’t there.”
“Then you’ll have to be invisible,” I said. “Go in through the back wall when I come in the front, so they’ll be distracted and won’t be looking your way.”
“If someone sees through the concealment pouvra, it’s going to look like treachery,” Jeddan said. “But I think it’s the best plan we can manage.”
“Be careful,” I said. I tried to watch him walk away and only succeeded in making my eyes water. I counted to ten to give him time to get into place, then dropped concealment and walked casually toward the door of the command building.
The sentries saw me, but didn’t do anything at first. They probably thought I was somebody’s wife. Then, when it was clear I was headed for them, they came alert and brought their weapons up (swords but no shields). “What do you want?” one of them asked.
“I have a message for General Gradden,” I said.
“Message from who?” the other one said.
“It’s a private message, and it won’t take me long to deliver it,” I said. This was the trickiest part of the plan, convincing the sentries to let me in, and I prayed I wouldn’t have to work the pouvrin on them, or run away and circle back around to enter the building through the wall.
“You think you can just walk up and see the General?” the first soldier said.
“No, but I think you,” I said, pointing at him, “can walk in there and ask if General Gradden will take a message from his old friend Mattiak.”
“Who?” he said. I suppressed a sigh. Of course I had to deal with a stupid soldier.
“Mattiak,” the other soldier said, as if he were trying to remember the name. I waited. Finally, the second soldier said, “Old friend?”
“All you have to do is tell him he has a message from Mattiak,” I said, “and if he doesn’t want it, I’ll leave.”
“I don’t get it,” the first soldier said.
“Because you’re an idiot,” the second soldier said. “Wait here,” he told me, and disappeared inside. I smiled politely at the first soldier, who continued to frown at me in puzzlement. The hum of noise from within, the sound of a few people talking, got louder. Then several men left the building, and the soldier returned and said, “General Gradden wants to speak to you.”
I went inside and down a short hall to the only open door, through which bright lamplight shone. The only person in that room was a man wearing uniform trousers and a white shirt. He had faded red hair and looked to be about sixty years old. “Why is a woman tossing Mattiak Tarallan’s name around like she owns it?” he said, glowering at me.
“General Gradden, Mattiak sends his regards and asks you to listen to what I have to say,” I said. “Could we sit down?”
“How did you get into this camp?” he said, not moving.
“That’s not important now,” I said. “Please, General. Just give me five minutes.”
Gradden stared at me for a few seconds, then waved me at a seat and pulled another chair around to face me. “I’m listening,” he said, in a tone that indicated he wouldn’t be listening for long.
I took a deep breath and prayed one last time he would listen. “General, my name is Sesskia Daressar, and I am the Empress-Consort of Balaen and Castavir.”
His eyes went wide. “You—what kind of claim is that? Sesskia Daressar died twenty-six years ago with Alenik!”
“Caelan Crossar smuggled my family out of Venetry when my father’s attempt to take the throne was betrayed,” I said, wishing I could tell him what other part Crossar had had in that fiasco. “I grew up in Thalessa. My father was killed nineteen years ago. My sister Roda and I are all that’s left of the Daressars.”
“You’re lying,” he said. “And what’s this nonsense about Empress? Is Mattiak out of his mind?”
“He supports my husband and me in our claim to the throne,” I said.
“Then he knows we’ve been ordered to be prepared for an attack,” Gradden said.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m here to see if we can’t come to a different arrangement.”
“You want me to betray Lord Domenessar,” he said.
“I want you to fight for the rightful rulers of this country,” I said. “You know the Lords Governor don’t want to follow Domenessar because they’re afraid to give him that much power. You know they’ll follow me because a Daressar heir on the throne is preferable to the alternative. If you continue to lead your troops in Domenessar’s name, you will lead this country to chaos.”
“You can’t prove what you claim,” Gradden said. He sounded shaky.
“Mattiak says you served my father when he was Lord Governor of Hasskian,” I said. “That you were good friends. You must have known his wife. General, you may not believe I’m Alenik Daressar’s daughter.” I took another deep breath. “But you can’t look at me and not see Cessily Daressar’s face.”
Gradden’s gaze swept me from my head to my feet, then settled on my face. His belligerence slipped away, replaced by astonishment. “True God help me, you look just like her,” he said quietly. “What—where is she?”
“She died ten years ago,” I said, just as quietly.
To my shock, tears came to his eyes. “Poor Cessily,” he said. “I can’t believe your family survived. Everyone thought the King had had you killed.”
“I grew up not knowing the truth,” I said. “Just that my Dad was a good and honorable man. I want to honor his legacy. I think Cederic and I will rule this country justly. Please, General, help us do that.”
Gradden stood up and began to pace the tent. I hoped Jeddan was well out of his way. “Alenik Daressar,” he muttered. “Mattiak Tarallan. Your husband is a foreigner?” he said to me.
“He’s Castaviran,” I said. “Those people you were fighting last fall? Their country is called Castavir. Magic brought our countries, our worlds, together, and I know you probably think of magic as evil or frightening—”
“My son was a sorcerer,” Gradden said. “He left home twenty years ago because he couldn’t keep it hidden. It didn’t matter to us. He would never have hurt anyone, but he could make fire—it’s all about what you choose to do with it, I think. How could magic make another country appear like this?”
“It’s…complicated,” I said, “and something I can explain to you when we have plenty of time. But it sounds like we don’t have much time now. Though…your camp doesn’t look much like it’s preparing to go to war.”
“I’m reluctant to follow the orders I’ve been given,” Gradden said. “Those are our comrades over there, and Lord Domenessar has no idea of the tactical situation. He may be our ultimate commander, but he’s no soldier. I don’t want to disobey orders, but I also don’t want to follow orders that will result in mass destruction.”
“Then come to our side,” I said. “Mattiak needs you. The Castaviran Army is huge and we don’t stand a chance without more troops. Right now, you’re fighting for Domenessar’s glory. You’re the Balaenic Army. You ought to be fighting for your country. For what it can become.”
Gradden sighed. “You’ve got your father’s silver tongue to go with your mother’s lovely face,” he said. “I’ll send for Soessen and we’ll convince him together. I wish we could meet with Mattiak. It’s not going to be easy, leaving Barrekel—I presume that’s what you want?”
“We have to go to Teliarne—that’s the city you were fighting—for the troops headquartered there,” I said, “and then…actually I don’t know what happens next, because I don’t understand military strategy very well. But yes, you’re going to have to break camp. I know that will be hard.”
“This is the military. Hard is our specialty,” Gradden said. “Excuse me.”
He left the room, and I said, “Jeddan.”
Jeddan became visible, crouched in a corner. “That’s uncomfortable,” he said, standing and stretching. “I’m glad I found the right room.”
“Will you go tell Mattiak what’s happened? And ask him to come here? I’ll make sure the sentries let him through,” I said.
“Just Mattiak? Not the Emperor?” he said.
“Uh…better not have both of us here at the same time, just in case,” I said. “But tell him I’m safe and I’ll be back soon.”
Jeddan nodded and vanished again. I waited a while longer, impatiently, until Gradden finally came back. “General, I’ve sent for Mattiak, but you should probably tell your sentries to let him through,” I said.
“How could you send for him?” Gradden said.
“Um…magic, actually,” I said, which was close to the truth. “But you did say you wished you could strategize with him.”
“This is a night of wonders,” Gradden said, shaking his head. “Soessen will be here soon. I didn’t tell him anything but that I wanted to talk. He’ll be harder to convince, but that’s balanced against how he’s even more reluctant to go to war against our own people than I am.”
“Thank you for being reasonable, General,” I said.
“Lady Daressar, I don’t think you understand how the men and women of my generation felt about your father,” he said. “There were a lot of people who wanted him to be King and were devastated when he disappeared. They’ll follow you in his name, if you’re even halfway competent as a leader.”
“I hope I am,” I said, feeling very nervous. “General…could you tell me about him? He died when I was nine, and…I wish I’d known him better.”
So the General and I talked about Dad, and I cried a few tears, but he didn’t hold it against me. Then Mattiak arrived—I didn’t know how he managed to get there before General Ellert, but then Ellert came in and he looked so ill I was amazed he was out of bed. Mattiak and Gradden didn’t seem put off by it, as if this were something they’d expected, and I pieced together the explanation that Ellert deals with stress by developing severe intestinal trouble, and he was under a lot of stress just then.
Convincing Ellert went faster than I’d been led to believe by Gradden, mainly because Mattiak was there and Ellert really wanted to be convinced. I think he might not totally believe I’m who I say I am, but as long as he leads the Brown Army into battle behind our standard, he doesn’t have to.
Once we had them both convinced, I excused myself, because I was so tired by that time—working that fire pouvra and then the concealment pouvra had drained me. I walked back through the camp and didn’t bother to conceal myself even when I passed the perimeter sentries; even in my exhausted state it was easy to avoid them. Then I kept walking until I reached our camp, and I had enough sense to go to the command tent where Cederic would be rather than to our tent, so he could stop worrying. He took me to our tent and helped me get undressed and into bed, then snuggled up next to me so I fell asleep in his arms, which is my favorite way to fall asleep.
When I woke up, he was gone, and I still felt weary enough I didn’t want to get up. So I wrote this for a while, until someone brought me breakfast—is it bad that I’m getting used to the benefits of being Empress-Consort?—and then I wrote the rest. And I’m still astonished it all worked. That is, I assume it worked, and there weren’t any setbacks, and nobody changed his mind and went crawling back to Domenessar. But if that had happened, I doubt my morning would have been so peaceful. So I’m going to assume for once, everything worked out fine.