Ike
I drifted into the background while Charlotte caught up with her brother and grandmother, but I never took my eyes off of her. The smile on her face was its own little piece of heaven for me. Seeing her smile was all I’d ever wanted.
Grams fed us fresh baked bread and homemade cookies, and reminisced about Charlotte’s grandfather, who was still alive. A part of me felt like I should leave, but then another part of me said hell no to that. I’d just found her. I wasn’t letting her out of my sight.
“Do you remember me saying goodbye to you, Grams?” Charlotte asked. “You didn’t open your eyes, but I swear I felt you squeeze my hand.”
“I heard you, sug. Every word. I was just so sick, and so tired, I couldn’t open my eyes.”
Charlotte teared up. “I always wondered about that.”
Grams forced a smile, her eyes growing glossy. “And when I finally passed and my spirit left my body, I saw all of you.” She glanced back and forth between Charlotte and Axel. “I saw my family stand around my bed and pray. It gave me such peace.”
“You were able to see yourself…and us…just after you passed?” Charlotte asked, sounding confused.
Grams nodded. “Yes, briefly.”
“Huh,” Charlotte huffed. “I know Axel was in limbo for a short period of time, but he had unfinished business. As soon as he knew I would be okay, he crossed over.”
Grams frowned not understanding what she was getting at. “What’s the matter, Charlotte Anne?”
“I didn’t see my body. I can’t even remember how I died,” she said, bewildered.
“Your memory will come back to you,” I offered, hoping to reassure her.
Charlotte glanced over at me. “Did you see yourself, your body I mean, after you passed?”
Lightning fast images snapped through my head, but not of my body after my death. They were memories of the devastation my death caused my family as I had to stand by helpless and watch. “I didn’t see my body. Just everything else.”
“So you were all in limbo, at least for a brief time,” she confirmed, looking at each of us.
She was obviously distraught about this, but I couldn’t understand why. “I’m sure you’ll remember soon,” I reiterated when no one else spoke.
Charlotte nodded a few times before taking a sip from her glass of iced tea. Her features were tight, doing little to hide the confusion she was feeling. Grams, just like Axel and I, sensed Charlotte was worried, and since Charlotte wasn’t articulating exactly why she was upset, we decided to redirect the conversation.
“Well, Charlotte love,” Grams sighed. “Why don’t you and your young man here go for a walk.” She cast a knowing look my way. I guess it was obvious I was eager to have Charlotte to myself for a bit. Charlotte glanced at me, the corners of her mouth turning up as our eyes met.
“I think I’d like that Grams,” Charlotte agreed. “Ike…would you like to show me around?”
“I’ll take you wherever you want to go,” I told her, the enthusiasm in my voice not difficult to miss.
“Well I’m going to head off myself,” Axel announced as he rubbed his stomach. “Maybe we can have a little us time later,” he not-so-subtly suggested, his gaze meeting mine before shifting it to Charlotte. He definitely wanted to be with Charlotte alone, without me. Message received—loud and clear.
Charlotte hugged him and kissed his cheek. “I’m so happy to see you.”
Grams hugged me warmly, and I shook hands with Axel, then Charlotte and I went outside. As we stepped off the last porch step, the house disappeared. Stopping, she turned and stared back at the vacant area, a smile drifting across her lips. “Did you do that?”
“No,” I chuckled. “It’s just how things are here. When you want to go somewhere…you’re there, and when you leave…it leaves.” I shook my head. “That probably doesn’t make any sense.”
She sighed, “This is surreal.”
“You being here is surreal.”
Her soft gaze fixed on me before she slipped her dainty hand in mine and threaded our fingers. I stared at our hold, happiness surging through me. “I still just can’t—”
“I know,” she interrupted. “I’m still reeling a bit.”
Nodding, I squeezed her hand gently and we began walking.
“Take me somewhere beautiful. Somewhere that you like.”
“There are so many places I love here, but you know my favorite place will always be our place, Charlotte. That last day we spent together there…it was everything.”
She lowered her head as if in thought. “And that was only us daydreaming,” she mused. I detected the flicker of humor in her tone. She was flirting…subtly. I doubted she even realized she was doing it. The last day we were together we’d spent hours by the water, fantasizing about the life we’d have shared together if we could have…if I had still been alive when we met.
“You carved our initials in the tree.”
She turned her head to look at me, a happy-surprised expression on her face. “You saw it?”
“Just before I left…before I came here. You have no idea what that meant to me.”
Her eyes teared up. “I wasn’t sure I’d survive it, Ike,” she admitted. “You leaving. It was—”
“I know, baby girl. I know.”
Looking ahead again, her steps slowed as her mouth gaped slightly. “Where are we?”
The glow of the setting sun reflected in her eyes as she gazed over the mountains. “Everest,” I told her.
She inhaled a shaky breath, her lower lip trembling. “It’s beautiful.” She let out a strangled sob before covering her mouth with her hand. Her tear-filled eyes met mine. “It’s hard to absorb it all. There’s just too much beauty to take in.”
I’d felt the same way when I arrived. I’d seen many awe-inspiring places in my life, but none of them held a candle to here, to this side; everything was clearer and sharper, colors were more vibrant. All of your senses were taken to the extreme. You weren’t just seeing mountains, you were experiencing them. The magnitude of it all was incredibly overwhelming, but in a good way.
As Charlotte stared at the scenery, I stared at her. Her dark hair was curled, draping over her shoulders and down her back, the sunlight hitting it just so, making it glimmer as the light breeze gently whisked it away from her face. There had been times while I was stuck in limbo, when I’d questioned things. Wondered why it was happening to me; wondering if I was being punished for having done something so terrible I deserved to watch my family suffer and not be able to do anything to help them. Then Charlotte came along and I’d felt hope; only to have the questions return when I’d fallen in love with her.
But now, watching her, feeling her hand in mine…none of that mattered. I’d finally reached it. Heaven. We were together. All of the suffering I’d been through was but a wisp in my memories.
“Let’s climb up on that rock and sit,” I pointed. “We’ll have a better view from up there.”
I stepped up first, then reached down to help her climb, but as soon as she lifted her hand to take mine, she paused and stumbled back, squeezing her eyes shut.
“Are you okay?” I asked, bending to jump down and help her.
Shaking her head she lifted her hand to stop me. “I’m fine. Something just felt weird for a second. That same feeling I had earlier. Like something was pulling at me.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
She took a deep breath and pressed on a smile as she climbed the rock. “Yes, I’m fine,” she assured me. When we sat down, she scooted close and rested her head on my shoulder. “I feel…happy.”
I smiled faintly. “I’m glad,” I told her, resting my cheek against her head.
“But I feel sad, too.”
My heart squeezed with her words. I knew she was sad and I knew why. George. My brother. Her husband. “I know, baby girl,” I murmured.
“I wonder if he’s okay…” she started apprehensively, as if she felt bad for bringing it up.
“It’s okay to talk about him,” I said as memories of my brother surfaced. “He’s been good, though? I feel like when I’ve thought of him…I’ve felt serenity.”
“He’s been good, staying diligent with his recovery. I don’t know how…” she trailed off, then laughed bitterly, “God knows being married to me, with all my craziness, would drive anyone to bad vices. But he’s been strong…for both of us. I don’t know how I would’ve gone on without him,” she finished shakily, sorrow lacing her voice. As much as it hurt me to hear it, I understood her sadness.
Letting out a sigh, I said, “I’m sorry, Charlotte. It seems you’re never short of complicated situations when it comes to us McDermott men.” When she didn’t respond I continued, “You’ve had to deal with so much, Charlotte. I can’t imagine…” It was my turn to trail off as the weight of it all swirled around us.
She shifted, wiggling closer to me, nestling her head into the crook of my neck. I shifted to put my arm around her, but suddenly I couldn’t lift my arm. What the…? My body lulled to the side as I futilely fought to stay upright. Shit. What was happening to me? My vision blurred as a wave of dizziness rushed over me. It felt like I was about to pass out. But that was impossible—that didn’t happen on this side.
“Ike?” Charlotte’s voice was distant even though I could still feel her next to me. A moment later, my strength gave out and my body made a loud thunking sound as it hit the ground.
“Ike!” Charlotte gasped. “What’s happening?”
Even if I’d been able to speak, I wouldn’t have had an answer. Heaviness beared down on me, pulling me underneath into darkness. Seconds later, Charlotte’s voice disappeared. My heart pounded in my chest, panic I hadn’t felt in so long coursing through me. Damn, I hadn’t missed this feeling at all. I wasn’t unconscious. In fact, I was very much awake, acutely aware I was drifting in slow motion, defenseless against whatever was sucking me into an inky blackness. I had no choice but to let myself be taken. Bile eroded my throat as nausea consumed me.
After an interminable moment, a pinprick of light began to appear, the sudden contrast causing me to squint. Then I hit a floor, grunting with the impact. Pushing myself up clumsily to rest on my elbows, my body devoid of strength, I focused on breathing evenly while I waited for my vision to clear. My hands were the first to become recognizable, then a dirty hardwood floor beneath them. I shifted to my side, struggling to pull myself into a seated position as another wave of nausea hit me. I’m going to vomit. What the hell? I was dead. I shouldn’t be feeling sick or weak, or passing out.
“I can see both of you.”
I reflexively whipped my head in the direction of the voice I heard, realizing the mistake too late as the nausea intensified. I blinked rapidly, pulling air in through my nose as I fought for control. Had that been Charlotte’s voice?
With some effort, I could just make out the silhouette of a kneeling woman. I focused all of my energy on seeing who it was, and I’d been right. “Charlotte,” I rasped, reaching out a shaky hand for her.
She didn’t flinch. Her attention remained focused on whoever she was speaking to. She was kneeling in a hallway in front of a doorway, and standing just behind her were George and Sniper. Despite the immense discomfort, I smiled.
“George. Sniper,” I sputtered scooting toward them as best as I could, but neither of them seemed to hear or see me.
“Yes, both of you,” Charlotte said. “There are two of you here.”
My gaze darted to Charlotte again, then back to George and Sniper, a sickening dread creeping up my back. They didn’t know I was here.
Sweat beaded on my forehead. “George!” I barked again, louder, but he didn’t flinch. I pounded my fist on the floor. “Sniper! Charlotte! Look at me, damn it!” Nothing. My chest tightened. They were right there in front of me, how could they not hear me? It was just like when I was in limbo—
“Just calm the hell down, Ike,” I said aloud, not bothering to keep the thoughts in my head, since clearly no one was around to hear me talk to myself. If it were limbo and I’d somehow been pulled back, Charlotte would have been able to see or hear me, so it had to be something else. “Think, Ike,” I growled as I blocked out the nausea and managed to inch myself closer. “Maybe if you can just touch them…” I pondered aloud to myself.
As I shifted closer to the three of them, the room Charlotte was kneeling in front of came into view and I saw two young girls standing practically on top of each other. Living beings couldn’t do that so I knew they had to be spirits.
Something stirred in the back corner of the hallway, drawing my attention away from the images before me. There was a woman I’d never seen before watching me. None of the others seemed to notice her presence. She was an attractive woman despite her heavy eyeliner, odd wardrobe, and slender frame.
“Can you see me?” I asked her.
Her choppy bangs slid to the side as she tilted her head to peer at me with her emerald eyes.
Oh yeah, she definitely saw me.
I opened my mouth to ask who she was but, unlike how I was pulled into this moment, I was suddenly ripped away from it at hyper-speed.
“Ike?” I forced my eyes open at the familiar voice. Grams stared down at me, concern creasing her brow. It took me a moment to realize I was on her couch.
“He’s awake,” she called over her shoulder. Returning her attention to me, she smiled faintly. “You gave us quite a scare,” she confessed. “Poor Charlotte was beside herself.”
“Dude,” Axel huffed when he came into view, pulling his shaggy hair from his face with swipe of his hand, just so it could flop right back where it was before. “Where’d you go, man?”
I didn’t know how to answer that question.
“You scared me,” Charlotte said as she sat beside me, releasing a heavy sigh.
I cleared the rasp from my voice enough to manage, “I’m sorry.” I moved to sit up, but Grams pressed my shoulders.
“You should rest, child.”
Nausea roiled my belly, but I couldn’t sit still. “I need to sit up,” I insisted. “I need to think.”
As I moved to stand, Charlotte stood and reached for my hands, helping me up, holding my forearms as I wobbled a little. “Maybe you should lay down, Ike.”
“I’ve never seen anyone here do that,” Axel noted.
“Do what?” Charlotte asked.
“Pass out. Have you?” he asked Grams. Grams glanced at me and then down. That was a no, but she didn’t want to say it and alarm me, or more importantly, Charlotte.
Charlotte frowned as a little indention formed between her brows. “What does that mean?”
Wanting to ease her worries, I pulled her to me, guiding her head to rest on my shoulder. “I don’t know, baby girl,” I admitted. “All that matters is it’s over.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she mumbled against my shoulder.
“Charlotte...I think I had a dream about you,” I confessed. Where ever I’d gone, I knew Charlotte had been there, but the details were fuzzy. “It was weird. You and George were there. Sniper was there, too,” I scoured my mind for more, “and two little girls I’m pretty sure were dead.”
Charlotte pulled away suddenly, her gaze distant and unfocused as the color drained from her face. I squeezed her arms, afraid she’d collapse. “Charlotte, what’s wrong?”
“You were in the Hell House,” she said absently before covering her mouth and moving out of my reach.
“The what?” Axel asked.
“I wasn’t there, exactly,” I clarified then added, “it was more like I was watching it, but from inside.” Frustrated, I scratched my head searching for a better way to explain it, knowing I wasn’t making any sense. “None of you could see me.”
“How could you have dreamt that?” she asked, more to herself than me.
I answered her anyway. “I don’t know.”
“What is the Hell House?” Axel asked again, more emphatically this time.
Charlotte turned to face us, her expression suddenly horrified. Her body seemed to collapse under her, but I caught her and moved her to sit on the sofa. The grip she had on my arm was so tight her knuckles had turned white. Clearly shaken, she finally met each of our gazes. “I remember what I was doing,” she said warily. “I remember what I was doing when I died.”