Ike
I was on the ground, dry heaving, when Axel appeared beside me in the fetal position, holding his stomach. The transfer was a bitch.
“I want to be alone,” I grumbled through the bile in my throat and the tears in my eyes. “Go!” I demanded.
Axel hacked as he moved to his knees, his condition similar to my own. His face was red and a thick vein bulged across his forehead as he strained against the nausea. “Too bad,” he grunted. “We’re family now. I’m not leaving you alone.”
“Family?” I snapped as I sat back on my heels. “You mean because our siblings are married and having a baby?”
Axel forced himself up and met my stare dead on. “That, and my sister is in love with you. Any way you slice this shit pie and serve it up, we’re family.”
“I’m so fucking angry,” I yelled, squeezing my eyes shut and pushing to my feet. “Why?” I shouted. “Why do this to me again? What did I do?” The hurt raged through me overpowering any rational thoughts. I wanted to hit something or someone, hard.
Something shoved me, and I lurched forward. Once I caught my footing, I spun around and found Axel with his fists up, hopping foot to foot, hyping himself up. “You need to hit something,” he said as he jutted his chin at me. “Come at me, bruh.”
“I’m not hitting you,” I mumbled.
When I turned to walk away he shoved me again. “Why not? You scared?”
“Stop trying to egg me on, Axel. I’m not hitting you.” He shoved me again, only this time he did it while I was looking right at him. Unable to stop myself I shoved him back.
“Quit it, Axel. Seriously.”
He shot out a fist that I managed to dodge. It was purely reflex that had me swinging back, catching him in the jaw. His head popped back, and he stumbled as he laughed. “That all you got? Charlotte could hit harder than that.” It wasn’t the insult that I hit like a girl that sent me over the edge. It was the mention of Charlotte’s name. I swung, my fists hitting Axel in the face, chest, and arms. He blocked his head as best he could, but never tried to hit me back. He’d offered himself as a sacrificial punching bag and somewhere in the back of my rage-consumed mind I knew I shouldn’t be hitting him, but I couldn’t stop. After a few minutes, my arms tired out, and Axel grabbed me to him. I struggled to escape his hold, but I was too weak, and instead, when I couldn’t fight anymore, I collapsed to the ground, each exhale coming out as a groan as I dug my fingers into the ground.
Kneeling before me, Axel put a hand on my shoulder as I gasped for air. “You ever hear the bible story of the prodigal son?”
Letting my head drop, I let out a long breath. “Yeah, I know it; the lost son returns.”
“Right, well there’s more to it than that,” Axel said as he sat on the ground and rested his arms on his knees. “After squandering the inheritance he’d begged his father for, the youngest son, with great shame, decided to return home and beg for his father’s forgiveness. He didn’t believe he would be welcomed back, but he had to try. But the father welcomed him back with open arms and decided to have a feast to celebrate his return. The oldest son was angry because his father not only welcomed his brother back, but was going to kill one of their best goats for the feast. He had stayed and cared for their lands and flocks, and his father had never killed a goat for him.”
I rubbed my face. “Dude, I know you’re trying to help me here, but I’m one-hundred-percent lost as to where you’re going with this.”
Axel bobbed his head patiently and continued, “The father told his oldest son that he should be happy his brother was home—that basically he had been dead and now was alive. The oldest son refused to join in the celebration. The thing was…the celebration went on without him. His aversion to it all didn’t stop what was happening. In the end, he only punished himself and missed out on the feast.”
It was a stretch to say that was the same as what was happening with Charlotte, but I understood Axel’s point. It didn’t matter how shitty I felt, or how angry I was…Charlotte was leaving. I could choose to be pissed off and make the whole thing harder, or I could embrace it and let her leave with peace.
“I hope you know I’m not angry with her. I’m just…angry.”
He gave me a hard pat on the back. “You forget, Ike, she will be back. I’m not happy she’s going either, but I am happy that she’s going to have the things in life that she deserves. Things we didn’t get to have.”
We sat in silence for a while. I knew everything he was saying was true, but that didn’t make it any easier, and it didn’t make me feel any better. “Would you go find Meadow please? I just need to get myself together.”
“Yeah man, I got her. What is family for?” When he vanished I closed my eyes and told myself, Let her go with peace, Ike.