James walked Annabelle into his dining room. It was a room that always made her feel like she could breathe that much deeper. With its big windows and pale yellow walls, it was a room that felt so much bigger and airier than it was. The sun streamed through, flickering off the wood from the table, giving a magical feel to the place.

But for some reason, Annabelle could not relax today, she could not find the comfort that she usually did and she was not sure why. Her eyes kept darting over to James as if she was expecting him to do something crazy.

“Are you alright?” he asked her while giving her a curious look. “You are giving me a funny look.”

Annabelle curled her hands around one another nervously. Her heart raced painfully in her chest and her tongue felt too thick for her mouth. Her instincts were screaming at her that something was not normal. She took a seat on the wooden chair along James’s medium sized dining table and she peered up at him through her eyelashes.

He is a terribly handsome man, she thought to herself with a smile playing on her lips. I am terribly lucky that he has shown an interest in me... especially considering what I have been through.

When James first began courting her, Annabelle told him an edited version of her past. She explained to James about the unwise engagement to Lord Ashdown and how it made her feel, she even gave him a little bit of information about Floyd, but she played down the finer details of their time together. For instance, she told James that she left home to escape her engagement, but she did not let him know that she was not alone when she did. She informed James about her attraction to the stable boy, but she did not tell him that they kissed.

She just did not want him to judge her for being ruined. She also wanted to keep everything that she had with Floyd all to herself. It was like a delicious secret or a dream that only she could access. After everything that she had been through, she felt like she deserved to have a little something that was just for her.

"I am terribly sorry, I do not mean to give you a funny look," she replied coyly. "I do not know what is wrong with me today. I feel very out of sorts.”

James walked over to where Annabelle was sitting and he lightly brushed his finger along her cheek. He was so careful not to touch her in a way that was considered inappropriate that she could hardly feel his fingers at all. It was delicate and sweet, nothing like the way that Watson had touched her, but it also meant that she could not work out just how she felt because of it.

“You do not look unwell,” he commented with his head cocked to one side. “You look just as beautiful as ever.”

Annabelle’s chest swelled. The compliment affected her greatly. It was lovely to hear that he still found her just as pretty when she had been busy at work all day. He meant it too. James was a man who only spoke words that he truly believed.

“Thank you very much, that is kind of you to say.” She tucked a stray strand of red hair behind her ear and stared up at him with curiosity in her gaze. “Is everything alright with you? You do not seem quite like yourself either?”

James instantly shrank in on himself as he took a step back. His entire body language changed in a way that had Annabelle absolutely petrified. She could not help fearing that something awful was about to happen. She gripped tightly onto the chair underneath her, trying her best to keep herself steady.

James ran a hand through his dark hair and he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. His shoulders hunched up around his ears and he took in a deep sigh as he tried to prepare himself for what was clearly something very challenging that he had to say next.

“There is something that I wish to discuss with you,” he said cautiously. Annabelle sucked in and held a breath as she waited to see what he would say to her next. “And it is something that I find difficult to express.”

Annabelle’s knuckles turned white, her brain started to spin, her imagination immediately took her to the darkest places possible. She immediately started to think that James was about to break off their courtship, which was a horrifying thought that would immediately send her back into loneliness.

Maybe he has met someone who can give him more of herself than I can. Maybe he has met his true love. Maybe I am about to end up all alone again.

“Y... yes?” she stammered awkwardly. “What is it?” When James did not immediately answer her, the panic gripped her wholly. “James, please tell me. What is going on?”

James bit down on his bottom lip and he sat in the seat opposite her. He held out his hands for her to hold and with a tremble and a shake she forced her palms towards his. The look that James was giving her was utterly unreadable, which did not help Annabelle with her nerves at all.

“Lady Annabelle Hathaway, I was wondering...” He gulped noisily as he scanned his brain desperately trying to find the right words. “We have been courting for a while and I believe it might be time to make that official.”

Annabelle’s heart stopped dead in her chest. She had not been expecting that at all. She had steeled herself, waiting for the worst to happen so this was a completely unexpected turnaround.

“What do you mean, official?”

Logically, she understood, but her brain had not yet processed the words to allow her to fully understand yet.

“I would like to marry you,” James eventually asked gruffly. “I would like you to be my wife. I do not have a bejewelled ring for you which I know is what you deserve, I just thought it better to spend the money on a wonderful ceremony instead.”

His cheeks tinged with a pink embarrassment as he slid the band over Annabelle’s finger. She had not even answered him, but it seemed that he presumed it would be a yes. James was so busy worrying that he could not afford quite the luxury that the Lord who she was engaged to before him, that he did not see the shock and fear in Annabelle’s eyes.

I should marry him, Annabelle thought to herself. This is a wonderful offer and he is a great man. I should be lucky to be James’s wife.

She did not even glance down to see the ring, not that it would have mattered. Annabelle knew better than anyone that material possessions did not mean a thing. It would not matter if James had proposed with absolutely nothing. That was not causing her to pause.

He is not Floyd, she could not help thinking despite herself. He is not the man I thought I would marry.

Even though five years had passed, even though she presumed that she had completely recovered from their ill-fated, badly timed affair, she could not stop him from cropping up into her brain at this monumental moment.

Stop it, she cursed herself. No one will ever be Floyd, but that does not have to be a bad thing.

Yes, her feelings for Floyd were more intense, but she had already worked out that was due to her youth and naivety. It certainly needn't be something to affect her decision now.

I am older, wiser, smarter, and James is truly wonderful.

“Are you...” James finally seemed to realize that Annabelle had not yet said anything. “Is everything alright?”

Annabelle knew that she needed to say something, but her lips would not even part. Doubt filled her, she could hardly control it. Everything that she had felt was secure fell apart in her mind. Courting James was one thing, but committing to him forevermore was something else entirely. She had been down this road once before so she knew just how serious it was. Just because this was a completely different situation, and James was another person, nothing like Watson at all, something about the situation felt very similar.

This engagement will have nothing to do with my father, she tried her best to bring herself around. I will be in complete control of everything. This will all be on me.

“Please, say something, Annabelle,” James continued, starting to sound really worried. “I am concerned now. If you do not wish to get married, please let me know. I shall understand...”

Annabelle knew that if she turned James down now, it would end things completely leaving her completely alone. She might not have said it before, but she really did like the idea of having children someday. What if this was the only chance that she was given and she threw it away over a man who left her years ago with no indication that he ever wanted to see her again?

"I... I am terribly sorry," she eventually gasped while clutching her hand to her chest. The ring had newly been placed there and felt like a weight upon her. “I am just very shocked, this is very unexpected.”

“It is?” James screwed his face up in confusion. “I thought it was the next logical step for us.”

“No, you are right,” Annabelle had to agree. “That is the truth of it, I guess I just was not expecting it.”

"Does that mean you do not want it?" James sounded a little stressed now, this was clearly not going to his plan. In his mind, he had envisioned this moment being a much happier one. He had spent the last few weeks planning for it, hoping that it would be the start of the rest of his life. He knew that Annabelle had a past when it came to the idea of marriage, but he still did not expect her to be so unhappy at the idea of marrying him. He was nothing like that brutish Lord, after all. "You can tell me if that is the case.”

“Yes,” Annabelle blurted out as rationality got the best of her. She would be absolutely silly to turn down James, he was the best thing to happen to her in a very long time. "Yes, of course, I want to marry you."

“You will?” He still did not sound sure.

“Yes,” Annabelle said with a nod and a much more decisive tone of voice. “Yes, I shall marry you, that sounds lovely.

James’s face lit up, he was delighted. He squeezed Annabelle’s fingers tight and smiled brightly at her. “We should start making the arrangements soon, send out the announcements. Your family will have a long journey ahead of them if they are to come here for the ceremony...”

My family. As James talked about all the things that the couple needed to do now, Annabelle panicked about what her family would think. Her father would approve of James when he met him, or Annabelle assumed that he would, but she could still imagine them whispering about her, wondering if this time her relationship would stick. They might assume that this would be just another mistake. She could not stand any more humiliation, she had suffered enough of it to last a lifetime.

It does not matter, she finally told herself with a shake of her head. It only matters what I think... and I think that marrying James will be the best decision I ever make.

There was a gnawing sensation in the pit of her stomach, but Annabelle was sure that had much more to do with the idea of planning a wedding and stepping back into a white dress. It was not James that was the issue, it was the wedding, that was all.

Absolutely nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.