“You are?” Floyd should have expected this, he saw Annabelle with another man only the evening before, but he had not wanted to accept it. When he stayed at the bed and breakfast the previous night, he spent the whole time awake trying to convince himself that he was no one to worry about. Someone she worked with, just a friend, someone who was courting her at most. The last thing he wanted to hear was that he was about to become her husband. “I guess our timing has always been wrong.”

He stuffed his hands into his pockets to try and keep them from reaching out to grab her. She was not his anymore, she had not been his for a very long time and now he could really feel that. The acute loss crushed him. When he thought that she was married to Lord Ashdown, at least he did not believe that she loved him. Now... she was engaged to another man by choice.

“I...” There were so many things that Annabelle wanted to say but she did not know where to begin. “I only got engaged last night...”

The unfairness of everything destroyed her and she burst into tears. Her hands automatically went up to cover her face since it was not the correct behaviour to show such emotion in such a public place, but she could not help it. It was awful. The moment the man she had always loved from afar was back, and he arrived just as she had agreed to marry someone else.

"I cannot believe it," Floyd replied morosely. "It is a terrible joke." He caught himself at the last moment. Just because this was bad news for him it did not mean that Annabelle shared his discomfort. “I mean, I am very happy for you, of course. Do not think that I am not. It means a lot to me that you have found happiness.”

I am talking nonsense, he told himself crossly. All while Annabelle stands in front of me weeping.

All he wanted to do was step towards her to hold her in his arms. He wanted to be the one to comfort her, just as he had been in the past but they had five long years between them and it seemed that too much had changed for them to come back from.

“I do not know what to say,” Annabelle sobbed pathetically. “I cannot believe it. I cannot believe we are in the same situation again.”

Except it was not the same situation, not at all. There were so many things that were very different this time around. The last time she was engaged, it was a forced experience and she hated the man. He treated her terribly and she knew that she would face nothing but a life of misery with him. She could not even bear to be in the same room as him.

But not only that, she was young and desperately in love with Floyd Brewer.

Now, she was older, she had her own life, one that was not dictated by anyone else. Her father had absolutely no say in what she did, and nor did anyone else. Then there was James. He was a good man, one who she knew would give her happiness forever. There was absolutely no reason to doubt him at all.

And as for her feelings for Floyd Brewer... well, there was no telling where they were these days.

“Maybe we keep missing our time for a reason,” Floyd tried to tell her in a comforting way. “Maybe fate is trying to tell us something.”

Annabelle choked at that. She did not want to think that was the truth at all. She found it painful to consider. Maybe Floyd was simply trying to be sensible about everything, but that did not make it any easier to hear.

Maybe I do know where my feelings for Floyd are, she thought sadly with her bottom lip pouted out and trembling. Maybe they have not gone anywhere.

The fact that it was almost difficult to look at him because of the way that he made her feel told her a lot.

Floyd could see that he had upset Annabelle and he did not like it at all. He wished that he had not said anything to bring that sadness to her face.

Maybe I should not have come. Maybe I have only made things worse.

Sure, he would have been left with hundreds of unanswered questions and feelings that he could not shut off, but he would much rather him have heartache than Annabelle.

“Maybe instead of talking about things that are upsetting, you should tell me about everything you have been doing instead,” he said desperately. “I have told you a lot about me, but I do not know much about where you have been.”

Annabelle sniffed in a way that she hoped would be discrete, but when Floyd reached into his breast pocket and he pulled out a cotton handkerchief to give to her, she realized that she had not. Her cheeks stained pink with embarrassment, but she took it from him and did her best to clean up her face.

She did not want to stop crying, the way that she was feeling inside made her want to weep forevermore, but she knew that she had to. She did not want to make a fool out of herself and she also did not want to waste the limited time that she had with Floyd crying over what could have been.

If this was the last time that she would ever see him then she at least wanted to leave with some happy memories.

“Yes.” She nodded decisively. “Let us take a walk on the sand and I shall tell you all about where I have been.”

As they walked down the beach and Annabelle told Floyd all about her life over the last five years, she did not think of James once. Not even to wonder what he might think if he saw her there, in their town with a strange man, one mere day after they got engaged.

* * *

It was not until they stopped outside Annabelle’s front door almost an hour later that the guilt finally set in. Being so close to a place that was integral to her new life reminded her that Floyd was not a part of it anymore... and nor should he be.

Would I have to tell James the full story about Floyd if he saw me? Would he be able to handle it? What if he made me choose... who would I pick?

The fact that she did not know was the scariest part of it all.

“It has been lovely to see you again,” Floyd said with a tone of finality. “I am glad that I made the journey down to visit you.”

“Me too,” Annabelle whispered, unable to quite get the words out. “It was unexpected, but a very nice surprise.”

As Floyd nodded with a grave expression on his face, the heartstrings in Annabelle's chest tugged painfully. Much as she had tried to accept that this might be the last time that she ever saw him, she did not want that to be the case. It had taken her five years to form any sort of life without him and she still did not move on. How on earth would she even begin to cope losing him again? At least last time she could assume he did not love her. Now she knew.

"You are not leaving today, are you?" she asked desperately, seemingly completely forgetting herself. As soon as those words fell out of her mouth she tried to reel in her panting breaths to try again. "I mean, of course, I know that you have your own life and your business to attend to... I just...” She stopped as Floyd’s face lit up into a grin. It was easy to forget herself around him, she simply felt like she knew him better than she knew anyone else. Even herself. “I just feel like it has been too short.”

"I have a place to stay for another night," he confessed. "After that, I am not sure what I shall do."

Floyd could feel himself being sucked in by Annabelle when he was around her. The temptation was to throw off his life to stay by her side, to beg her to be with him, but he knew that he could not. He needed to create some distance between them, they both needed time to think. With some space, he would be able to make a wiser decision about what he did next with regards to the Lady he loves dearly.

“I see.” Annabelle visibly relaxed. She was well aware that she would have to let Floyd go again, but not quite yet. At least she had been given the gift of a little more time before her whole world turned upside down again. “So, I might see you again before you go?”

“Yes.”

As they stood and faced one another, they remembered the moment that they had first met. Annabelle was standing in her family garden and Floyd was on top of her horse, Primrose. She had thought him the most incredible man that she had ever seen in her life then. She felt an immediate impact from him.

Of course, she did not know how much he would go on to change her life, but still... even then she sensed that he was special.

Floyd had felt himself fall for the red-haired Lady immediately. He could sense her spark, her fiery nature touched him, he knew instantly that this was the only woman that he would ever truly love.

And he had lost her.

There were many things that he could curse himself for, that he could blame himself for, but for this, he could not. Maybe it was because he had spent too much of his life living under a shadow of blame because his birth killed his mother, or maybe it was because he knew that he had only done what he thought best.

Maybe it is fate telling me to stay away, he tried to accept. I met Annabelle when she was engaged, then when I tried to find her again I thought her to be married. Now I find her again just when she has accepted another man’s proposal. There has to be a reason it never works.

“I am working tomorrow,” Annabelle muttered, trying to keep the conversation on an even level. “But maybe afterwards I can see you again.”

“Of course, I will see you whenever I can.”

Floyd did not know what to say anymore, he felt pretty certain that he could not do anything to dispel the thick atmosphere that surrounded them. The unsaid things between them were obvious, both of them had a very good idea of what the other wanted to say, but neither of them could. Maybe it was Annabelle's responsibility to speak first since she was the one who had a fiancé, or maybe it was his because he was the man.

Either way, neither of them did.

“I suppose I should get going then,” Floyd said reproachfully. “It is getting dark and I do not yet know my way around this town well.”

“Yes,” Annabelle replied stiffly. “I suppose so." Of course, she wanted to invite him inside but she would not. There was no way she would risk her reputation again. She had been far too lucky to get away with it the first time around. “I will see you tomorrow though?”

“Yes, tomorrow.”

With the promise to meet again, Floyd nodded his head towards her and he forced himself to turn on his heels and go. Each step felt heavy, it was an utter challenge for him to move, but he made himself do it.

I have been through harder, he tried to convince himself. I can do this too.

But he was not convinced. He did not feel utterly certain that he had been through anything harder. Losing Annabelle, and doing so for real through her own choice, would be the worst thing in the world.