CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
HAZEL
Hazel’s body had started to shake so badly, she felt as if she was about to start convulsing. It was worse than the night she’d parachuted in, so much worse.
She’d killed a man.
Only hours earlier, she’d confessed to Sophia that she didn’t know if she could do it, if she could actually take the life of another human being. But Sophia had been right; when the decision was right in front of you, it was an easy one to make. If Hazel hadn’t killed him, if she hadn’t whipped her blade out and sliced it clean against his skin, Rose would be dead.
‘Just a bit longer,’ Rose panted, her run as sluggish as Hazel’s.
They’d been on the move for hours. It was well and truly dark; night had fallen long ago and yet they still hadn’t stopped moving. But if she didn’t stop soon, she was certain she’d collapse and never get back up.
Hazel’s stomach heaved and she tried to swallow it down, only the feeling wasn’t going away. She finally slowed, hand against a tree as she doubled forward and retched, vomiting over and over again until there was nothing left in her stomach.
‘We still need to keep moving,’ Sophia whispered to her, taking her hand. ‘But let’s walk for now.’
She was relieved to hold Sophia’s hand, taking some of her strength. It also stopped the shaking.
They were all panting heavily, all exhausted, physically and mentally fatigued as well as desperately thirsty. After some time walking, the three of them side by side as they stumbled across the grass and tripped on tree roots, thankful at least for the moon guiding them, Sophia spoke.
‘I know roughly where we are, and there are some farmhouses coming up. I don’t think we should avoid them.’
Hazel gasped. ‘You want to turn up on the doorstep of some farmhouse and hope they take us in?’
Sophia squeezed her hand, a warmth in her touch that Hazel hadn’t felt before. ‘No. I want to find a farmhouse that has a barn, and sneak in for somewhere warm to spend the rest of the night.’
Hazel breathed a sigh of relief.
‘It’s a good plan,’ Rose said. ‘It’s too dangerous to stay out in the open, but I think we’ve put enough distance between us for now.’
They kept walking, silently trudging along, and when they finally came across a farmhouse in the distance, they moved more slowly, cautious of where they were and what they were doing. It was impossible to know where was safe and who they could trust.
‘Look, there’s a barn or something there. It’s close to the house, but if we move quietly I think we’ll be fine,’ Sophia said, using her torch to look ahead before quickly turning it off again.
Hazel was thankful to follow Sophia’s orders. It was easier than trying to think for herself while she processed how close they’d been to dying only hours earlier.
‘We can hide by the cluster of trees there, then move in one by one.’
Nothing further was said as they made their way closer. Hazel’s breath hiccupped in her throat as she tried not to make a noise. Sophia held up her hand for them to wait, and she darted across the short expanse of field from where they were hiding. The creak of the barn door sounded deafeningly loud in the dead still of night, and Hazel half expected the farmer to come running from the house or enemy fire to ring out, but nothing happened.
Rose went next, touching her shoulder before darting off after Sophia. And a few minutes later, Hazel pushed off from the tree and ran as fast as she could. Within seconds she was in, too, pulling the door behind her and finding them in complete darkness. She rummaged for her torch and quickly turned it on, hands still quivering, at the same time as Sophia.
‘My torch won’t . . . ,’ Rose started, banging it against her hand, but her words fell away.
At the same time as Hazel locked eyes with two goats, the smell of animal filled her nostrils. It wasn’t awful, but it was unfamiliar to her, and she supposed it was a mixture of their hair, the hay and the dung on the ground. She looked over her shoulder, wondering what other animals she was about to find lurking, but one of the goats butted at her arm and distracted her from her worries.
She smiled and scratched his head, and the goat stretched his neck out as she moved her fingers under his chin.
‘I think he likes it,’ she whispered.
‘He?’ Sophia scoffed. ‘Try she! Now you hold her still and I’m going to see if we can milk her.’
Hazel grimaced, putting her arm around the goat and cuddling her as Sophia passed her torch to Rose and got down on all fours. Within moments she had milk squirting out and the goat couldn’t seem to care less.
‘Do we have a bottle still, or did it get broken?’ Sophia asked.
Rose pulled out the bottle that had contained their water and held it while Sophia milked the poor goat. If they hadn’t been so parched and desperate, it would have seemed funny.
When she’d finished, Sophia held it up and took a sip before passing it to Rose. Then it was Hazel’s turn and she sipped the warm milk, grateful to have something liquid in her dry throat even if it wasn’t a taste she was used to.
‘We need to rest,’ Rose said. ‘I’ll take first watch and you two take a nap. We need to be gone before dawn.’
Hazel nodded and bedded down in the hay. The goats seemed unsure what was going on, but finally the one they’d milked came over and lay down beside her. It started to chew on her hair and Hazel pushed it away, keeping her hand on it for a moment as she fell instantly into a deep slumber.
‘Wake up.’
Hazel jumped, heart pounding as she pushed up, disorientated and sore. The night before came flooding back to her and she realised she’d been snuggled up close to the goat. It was probably the only reason she was so warm instead of frozen-to-the-bone cold.
‘My radio,’ Hazel croaked at Sophia. ‘I need to see if I can get it working.’
‘No.’ Sophia shook her head. ‘We already know it’s damaged from the fall yesterday. We don’t have time to fix it and the last thing we need is to be tracked to here when we’re so close to the chateau. Let’s go.’
Hazel pushed her hair from her face and stood, reaching for her satchel and pulling its strap over her shoulder. The weight of the radio was familiar, almost comforting, even though it pulled her shoulder down uncomfortably with it.
Sophia shook Rose awake, and Hazel ignored the growl of her stomach as they dusted themselves off and followed Sophia’s lead out the door. There was no farmer holding a gun waiting for them, nothing but the steamy, misty morning air as they shut the door quietly behind them and hurried off. Soon they would be at the chateau. Soon they’d be far from the explosion, far enough to be as safe as anyone could expect to be in the middle of occupied France.
They walked in silence for a long time, and Hazel wondered if her friends’ legs burnt as hard as hers did from their gruelling run the night before.
‘I’m sorry I slept through my shift,’ she said, feeling guilty about sleeping the entire time.
‘You deserved it,’ Sophia said firmly.
‘And when we get back, you’ll be the one working to fix that radio and start transmitting while we rest,’ Rose added.
Hazel wondered if they were going easy on her because of what she’d done, but she didn’t say anything. Besides, they were right. Once they were back, she’d be frantically trying to work her radio and there wouldn’t be a moment’s rest for hours.
When they finally made it back to the chateau, her legs almost collapsed beneath her. She walked up the steps, clutching at the door as she passed it.
‘Hazel?’
A noise escaped her throat that sounded like a yelp to her ears as Harry appeared in front of her. His arms opened and she fled into them, clutching on to him and sobbing against his chest. She couldn’t believe they’d made it back. She couldn’t believe what she’d done. She couldn’t . . .
‘Hazel, it’s all right. Everything’s going to be fine,’ he whispered into her hair, his arms so warm and strong around her, holding her together. ‘Whatever happened, it’s over now.’
She breathed in the scent of him, held him close, giving herself a moment to get her emotions back in check. When she finally pulled back, Harry held her in his arms and looked down at her, concern etched into his face.
‘It’s good to have you back,’ he said in a low voice.
Hazel nodded, lost for words.
‘Where are they all?’ Sophia’s voice broke through her thoughts, and Hazel watched as Harry’s face changed. His hands fell from her arms.
‘They’re out working in small groups. Something about following orders and causing mayhem,’ he said.
Hazel took a deep breath and patted the satchel that was still over her arm. She looked up at Harry and something inside of her warmed all over again.
‘I have to get back to work,’ she said.
Harry nodded. ‘I’ll fix you something to eat.’ And then he stepped forward, oblivious to the fact Rose and Sophia were in the same room. Harry dropped a warm, slow kiss to her forehead and squeezed her arm, not saying another word as they stared at each other for a long moment, before she reluctantly pulled away to dash upstairs.
Sophia and Rose both followed her, but neither said a word about the way Harry had welcomed her. She was pleased, because she had no idea how she felt about what had just happened between them, let alone what to say in response.
‘It’s no use,’ Hazel muttered, cursing herself for ever climbing on that old roof to start with as she fiddled with her set. ‘It was damaged in the fall, and maybe it banged into a tree or something when I was running as well, because I can’t get it working.’
Her frustration was making her top lip damp with sweat, and her heart was thumping loud. She took a deep breath and then started all over again, tinkering with her machine. This was why they’d been given suitcases to transport them in. If she hadn’t put the thing in a satchel, then it might not have become so damaged.
‘Someone’s back,’ Sophia said, frowning and disappearing.
Hazel kept working, letting Rose watch her back as she sat in the attic. But within minutes there was the heavy footfall of a man, and then Mathieu appeared with Sophia behind him. Hazel stopped what she was doing when she saw the unusual expression on Sophia’s face, her eyes wide and her bottom lip tucked beneath her teeth.
‘Rose, I need to speak to you,’ Sophia said. Mathieu stood, still and silent as stone beside her.
‘What is it?’ Rose asked.
Hazel went cold, waiting, dreading what she was about to say.
‘Mathieu would like you to do a solo courier operation.’
‘What?’ Hazel all but hissed. ‘I thought we were supposed to be working together? Why does he need her?’
Sophia looked as worried as she felt, but it was Mathieu who spoke.
‘There was another woman, an agent,’ he said in a low voice. ‘She was preparing to go undercover as a cosmetics representative, but she was taken out recently. Rose is a good match for her. She can use her identity.’
‘Taken out?’ Hazel asked, her voice barely a whisper, and she glanced worriedly at Rose. Her friend had stayed silent, her expression impossible to read.
‘The others believe she took her pill, the one issued to you before your parachute jump,’ Sophia said.
Hazel’s hand instantly went to her pocket, feeling the bump of the pill she had sewn in there in case of an emergency. She couldn’t imagine deciding to swallow that, but then the idea of being tortured and losing the opportunity to live, giving up others when you couldn’t survive another moment of it . . . She breathed deeply, worried for Rose. ‘So you want Rose to take her place? Using her cover?’ she asked Mathieu.
‘She’s going to get you the part you need from another cell, and take money and codes with her,’ Mathieu said. ‘She’ll fit the role perfectly.’
‘The identity has already been created,’ Sophia explained. ‘I would have been the logical choice for courier work in the past, but the Germans are more suspicious than they’ve ever been. She’s the right age, she fits the description, and most importantly she’s actually French. There is nothing she can do or say that would make them suspicious.’
Hazel knew it made absolute sense, but it was hard not to think of Rose as her old friend from their old lives. When she was training, it was about looking after herself and doing her job, taking calculated risks and understanding the consequences. The problem here was that she knew Rose and cared deeply for her. Hazel was going to have to use that to fuel her work, to make sure she didn’t make a mistake that could cost her friend her life.
The room suddenly felt too small and stuffy for Hazel, and even though she wanted to scream at Rose that it was too dangerous, she didn’t say a word.
‘I’ll rest for a few hours, then make myself up and get going. I suppose I need to move fast?’ Rose asked.
‘Yes,’ Mathieu said. ‘I’ll leave you a moment, then report to me downstairs.’
Hazel let the words sink in and exchanged glances with Sophia. She knew Sophia would be just as worried, but she’d probably never think to stop either of them from partaking in an important mission.
‘Take this,’ Hazel said, holding out a part for a radio that she’d found in the attic but that was of no use to her repairs. ‘It might help someone else in the other cell.’
Rose opened her arms and hugged her tight, and then held on for some time, standing silently in the room while Sophia watched on.
‘There’s been news of Sebastian,’ Sophia suddenly said, wiping at her eyes, at tears that Hazel knew were mirrored in her own eyes. ‘Mathieu said that Sebastian was asking questions, trying to find you.’ She was staring at Rose as she spoke. ‘It’s so good to know that he’s still alive, but there was no mention of his wife. The others passed him when they were blowing up petrol tankers, but he had to return to his own cell.’
‘You’ll all make it home. We have to believe that,’ Hazel replied, not knowing what else to say. ‘You and Sebastian and his wife, you’ll survive, Rose. You will.’
Sophia gestured that it was time to go downstairs, and Hazel took one last look at Rose before sitting back at her desk. Tears burnt her eyes. If only she hadn’t broken the radio, then perhaps Rose wouldn’t have been sent at all. She thought of Harry downstairs; suddenly all she wanted was to run to him and hold him and sob against his shoulder again. But she was stronger than that.
She was an undercover agent, and she wasn’t going to let this or anything else crack her.
‘You look beautiful,’ Hazel said, admiring Rose as she stood before her three hours later. ‘Ravishing in fact.’
Rose laughed and rolled her eyes. ‘If only I had someone to be ravishing for, hmm?’
She joked, but Hazel knew the truth of the pain beneath her easy words. ‘I’d tell you to be careful, but I know you will.’
‘Come here,’ Rose said, her case discarded as she opened her arms and stepped forward. They were all so tired, but Rose suddenly looked a million dollars, certainly not the same woman who’d woken in a barn with goats earlier in the day.
They embraced and Hazel held her tight, not wanting to let go. ‘We still have so much to share. You make sure you come back as quickly as you can.’
The trip was important, they all knew that, and Rose’s mission was vital to their success. Without Hazel radioing, all the small cells around them would become invisible, cut off from the others, because she was the only highly trained operator at the chateau – or within miles, from what she’d been told.
‘Your red lipstick is amazing,’ Hazel told her, admiring how it accentuated her full mouth when she pulled back.
‘It’s Elizabeth Arden,’ Rose told her with a wink. ‘I had one too many in the bag I was given, so I left it here for you and Sophia. But I don’t take Sophia for the red-lip kind of woman.’
They both smiled. Sophia was amazing, but she was probably too focused on her job to be overly worried about lipstick. Hazel, on the other hand, was more than happy to receive the gift.
‘I’ll wear it every day and think of you.’
Rose gathered her things and Hazel watched her go. She had a long walk ahead of her to the train station, and from there it would be a dangerous journey that made Hazel shudder to think about. But Rose was a Frenchwoman; she had nothing to hide about her lineage, and the fewer lies being told, the less likely anyone would be caught.
‘We’ll miss you,’ Hazel said as Rose walked out the front door.
Hazel held her hand up and watched her go. When she turned she saw Sophia standing not very far behind her. She’d been watching their exchange, perhaps the whole time.
‘She’ll be fine,’ Sophia said. ‘Rose is as good as they get. And besides, she’s fearless. Nothing and nobody will rattle her.’
Hazel wondered if Sophia felt like an outsider sometimes to the history Rose and she had, but if she did, she didn’t say anything.
Sophia smiled and took her hand. ‘I’m putting you to bed. You need some sleep before you start staring at that blasted radio again.’
She was too tired to disagree, and having Sophia so obviously looking out for her was a nice change.