CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Julia found Felicity standing at the kitchen table, her hair dusted with flour, angrily kneading a lump of dough. She smacked it down with such force it was a wonder the wooden table didn't crack underneath her.
"Felicity," Julia began cautiously, "are you quite well?"
When Felicity saw that it was Julia, her eyes flooded with tears. "No, I'm very far from well. I may never be well again. I will not forgive myself for making such a silly, selfish error."
"You are too hard on yourself," Julia said soothingly. "Even the Marquess doesn't blame you. Annabelle is a lively child and these things will happen from time to time."
"But no one has seen her for hours!" Felicity wailed. Julia was struggling to keep calm herself, but she knew she had to pull herself together for the sake of her friend.
"They have not yet made a complete search of the gardens," she said. "It is very likely that Annabelle went out in search of her fairy friends."
Felicity managed a watery smile. "Fairies? What an imagination that girl has!"
"She has been obsessed with them ever since she saw two shadowy figures in the garden one evening," said Julia. "Everything she sees, she attributes to the fairies. She will not accept a natural explanation for anything."
Felicity ground the palms of her hands into her reddened eyes, dusting her face heavily with flour. "Oh, what a fool I am!" she cried. "Shadowy figures walking around the garden after dark? Julia, I'm afraid I have a confession to make."
"You're not the only one," Julia said, smiling wryly. "I have just made a rather unpleasant confession of my own to the Marquess."
Felicity laughed bitterly. "Let's confess to each other, then, and will see who was the most scandalous of the two of us. You go first. That will make me brave enough to tell you what I have to say."
"Do you recall the fright I had when some men in a carriage stopped and harassed me on the way to Chiltern?" Julia asked. Felicity nodded. "Well, I was not entirely honest about what happened that day. The fact is, I knew the men. I knew them extremely well. Their leader was my brother, Edmund Mallory. I doubt you will have heard of him, but the Marquess certainly has. He is not exactly a criminal... At least, his crimes have never been discovered by the police, but he is dangerous, and it was very wrong of me not to let the Marquess know that he had taken an interest in my life here at Harding Hall." A shiver of fear passed through her. "I am so afraid that if Annabelle went outside alone, she may have encountered one of Edmund's men, sent here to spy on me and cause mischief."
Now that she had come clean, Julia felt what a great burden she had been under all this time. Honesty was always the best policy. She only hoped Charles would agree.
"Why, Julia!" Felicity laughed. "I would never have thought a prim little thing like you had such a dark secret!"
"Prim?" Julia repeated, feeling rather offended. She wondered whether Felicity would still call her prim if she knew all that had gone on between Julia and Charles.
"Now, it's my turn," said Felicity. "I'm afraid I'm going to win our little wager. All the evil brothers in the world cannot compare to my scandalous behaviour." She raised her hand to her mouth and let out a hysterical giggle. "I think I have an explanation for Annabelle's fairies in the garden," she confessed. "The fact is, I have been spending a great deal of time sneaking around under cover of darkness. I have behaved in the most appalling fashion, and I have no excuse to offer for it but this: I am hopelessly in love." She glanced at Julia to see how her story was going down.
"In love?" Julia asked. "But with who?"
Felicity looked as though she did not know whether to laugh or cry. "I suppose I must tell you now. I admit that I'm grateful to be able to confide in someone. Things have gone so far now that I fear I have done irrevocable damage. All the same, it's so hard to say the words..."
"Shall I guess?" Julia offered.
"You can certainly try," said Felicity. "But I'm afraid you will not even come close."
"Is it Peter Kildare?" Julia hazarded. Felicity laughed aloud.
"He's a handsome one, no doubt, but he's not the one for me."
"One of the footmen?"
"I'm afraid I have aimed a little higher than that." Felicity let out another hysterical giggle. "Julia, you cannot know how awful it is to love someone so far above you that nothing can ever come of it. Especially now..." Involuntarily, she lifted a hand to her stomach. Julia understood at once.
"Oh, Felicity, tell me you are not with child."
All Felicity could manage was a nod. Julia went towards her and caught her up in a hug, without a care for the floury mess that was smeared all over her dress. "You poor, poor girl," she murmured. "And do you mean to tell me that you are not even engaged?"
"You must not judge him too harshly," said Felicity. "I have only just written to him about the baby. I was hoping to meet with him today – that's why I went outside – and I was so distracted I left the door open. But he didn't come. We have a secret meeting place, somewhere no one ever goes. He can't always make it, but when he can, that's where I see him." She rested her head on Julia's shoulder. "I suppose the time has really come to tell you everything. The truth is, it's Kit. Lord Christopher." She said his name with a reverence that spoke of the depth of her feelings. "So now you understand. There is no hope for me. He is the son of a Duke, and I am nothing but a cook. I have been a blind fool to let things get this far. I blame only myself."
"Lord Kit?" asked Julia, astonished. "Can it really be true?"
Even as she spoke, she knew her question was redundant. Lord Kit was exactly the sort of man to get a woman into trouble and leave her to deal with the consequences alone. True, she had thought Felicity was more sensible, but who was Julia to judge her?
Above all, she was glad that she and Charles had not given into their temptation to go beyond a few stolen kisses. Felicity's dire situation painted Julia's own in quite a different light. What had been romantic now seemed like pure folly.
"You say you went to your secret place today?" Julia asked, a thought striking her. "Is it truly as secret as all that? Is it possible that the footmen searching the gardens will not come across it?"
"It is a little dell in the middle of the forest," said Felicity. "It's entirely surrounded by thick bushes – if Kit had not shown it to me I would never have found it myself. It's the most beautiful place, Julia, especially in the summertime. It's the only place in all the forest where wild honeysuckle grows."
"It has been raining," said Julia. "If you left footsteps in the mud on your way there and back, it's possible Annabelle may have followed them. It would be nothing but a game to her. Following the fairy footsteps."
"It's quite some way away. I doubt Annabelle would manage to make it all the way there herself."
"You clearly haven't had the pleasure of spending a full day chasing her around," smiled Julia. "Besides, even if she has stopped along the way, following your footsteps will lead us straight to her."
"You're absolutely right," cried Felicity. "Quick, let's go and look for her. It's certainly a much better idea than waiting around here. I think I'll go mad if I wait a moment longer."
She ran to her bedroom and came back holding a winter coat and a thick shawl for Julia. "Put this on," she said, "and let's not waste any more time!"
The two women ventured out into the grey drizzle of the February afternoon. Just as Julia had predicted, Felicity's footsteps were plain to see in the mud. They led through the wintry beauty of the formal gardens, through a back gate, and out into the wildness of the forest beyond. Julia had explored the forest before, but she was nowhere near as familiar with it as Felicity, who led the way with determined certainty.
After a few minutes walking, the footsteps seemed to vanish into a thicket of impassable bushes. Julia hesitated, but Felicity lifted aside a branch, revealing a path through. Julia's heart lifted when she heard the unmistakable sound of Annabelle's childish singing coming from the glade beyond.
"Lady Annabelle!" she cried, running forwards without a care for the mud.
Annabelle was sheltering from the drizzle underneath a large tree. The ground around her was carpeted with the tiny nodding heads of snowdrops.
"Oh, Miss Mallory!" said Annabelle, lifting up her arms to give Julia a hug. "Look! Look at the snowdrops!"
Julia gathered Annabelle into her arms. "Really, Lady Annabelle, this is no time to be looking at flowers. What were you thinking, running off alone?"
"I found a secret path," said Annabelle. Julia and Felicity exchanged a wry glance.
"It's exactly as I thought," said Felicity. "If the Marquess doesn't dismiss me for this, I'll think less of him."
"Don't tempt fate," Julia warned her. "Particularly not in your situation."
She lifted Annabelle up and deposited her back on her feet. "Come along now, Lady Annabelle. Your father has been worried sick. So have we all. It was very wrong of you to go so far without telling anyone where you were. Do you understand?"
"I didn't mean to upset you, Miss Mallory," said Annabelle, lip trembling. Julia could not find it in her heart to be angry any longer.
"The important thing is that you're safe and sound, and you won't ever do it again. Now, let's go back to the house and get you a nice cup of hot chocolate. All of the servants are out looking for you, and we don't want them to be worried for a moment longer than they need to be, do we?"
"Wait!" exclaimed Annabelle. She was holding something in her little hand which she waved at Julia in excitement. "I have a present for you."
Julia bent down to look at it. It was a tiny snowdrop that Annabelle had pulled from the ground. Annabelle reached up and tucked it behind Julia's ear.
"There," she said, satisfied. "You look so pretty, Miss Mallory."
"That's very thoughtful of you, Lady Annabelle," said Julia, taking her hand. "But in future, you must not pick wildflowers. They are there for everyone to enjoy."
"Not here, they're not," remarked Felicity. "I'd wager no one has found this place but me and Kit in years."
Annabelle shook a tiny finger in Felicity's direction. "You must listen to Miss Mallory and not argue with her!" she chided her sternly. Felicity threw back her head and laughed. Julia was glad to see her have that moment of mirth. Felicity's situation was truly dire, and there might be little cause for laughter in the months to come.
Julia and Felicity each took one of Annabelle's hands in theirs, and together, they made their way back through the forest to the house. On the way, they encountered a footman busily searching through the bushes. Julia send him on ahead to let Charles know that Annabelle had been found.
So it was that they were barely making their approach across the well-manicured lawn, when Charles himself came running towards them. He swept Annabelle up into his arms and kissed her soundly.
"Where have you been, my wild little girl? I have been so worried about you!"
"We found her in the forest," said Julia. "No harm has come to her at all."
Charles turned towards her, such joy in his face that she was afraid he was going to kiss her right there and then, in front of everyone.
His eyes fixed on the snowdrop nestling behind her left ear. All the joy drained from him in an instant.
"I know where you have been," he said hoarsely. His eyes were full of horror. Julia did not understand what had happened to produce such a material change in his mood, and he gave her no chance to discover it. Charles turned away from her and practically ran back into the house, Annabelle protesting in his arms. When he reached the doorway, he thrust the girl towards the waiting Miss Kelsey, and disappeared inside.
"Well," said Felicity. "I like that! Not as much as a thank you. I wonder what took him so suddenly ill?"
Julia couldn't imagine, and the last thing she wanted was for Felicity to see how hurt she was by Charles's reaction. "It has been a stressful day for all of us," she said briskly. "If you don't mind, Felicity, I am going to go and lie down. This has been quite enough excitement for me." She touched her hand to Felicity's shoulder. "That is, if you do not wish to talk any more about what you told me in the kitchens?"
"Talking won't fix anything," said Felicity, with false brightness. "At least, not talking with you – begging your pardon, Julia. There's only one person I want to speak to at the moment and..." She let out a heavy sigh. "It doesn't look as though he wants to speak to me."
"When did you write to him?" asked Julia. "There may be some hope yet."
"It has only been a day. I won't give up hope just yet. For now, back to my bread. If you're ever overcome by anger, Julia, I highly recommend bread-making. It does wonders for a troubled soul."
Julia suspected her own soul would benefit from violently kneading a lump of dough, but, since she could not confess the reason for her worry to Felicity, she settled for going upstairs and trying to sleep off the traumas of her long journey and the fright which Annabelle had given her.
Before she lay down, she placed the snowdrop carefully inside a little glass of water, so that it might stay fresh and beautiful. Something about its perfect white petals filled her soul with a sense of calm.
Don't worry, the snowdrop seemed to whisper. All will soon be well.