ANNA

 

Everyone’s life is going great.

Mine? Not so much. I seem to be in a stagnant place.

My sister is married and expecting her first child. My best friend is planning her wedding. As for me, the biggest decisions I seem to be making in my life lately is whether or not I want to pick up my pizza or pay five more dollars to have it delivered.

Summer sits across the desk from me in the makeshift office on the first floor of the factory. Not much business is actually attended to in this office. It’s more a front to keep the authorities from being too suspicious. While Summer waits for Chase to return from meeting with a client, I suppose she figured it was the perfect time to make wedding plans.

“What do you think about silver vases for the centerpieces with white roses?” she questions from across me, flipping her long hair over one shoulder.

“Honestly?” I cock a brow. “I’m not so sure I like the concept.”

“Are the roses too on point?”

“I was thinking along the lines of being expensive,” I point out with as much finesse as I can muster. “It’s not like you’re bringing in the big bucks being a public school teacher, and as for Chase; he’s not exactly rich.”

She drops her elbows onto the table and glares at me. “When is the last time you bought roses? It’s not like they’re some rare luxurious item.”

“I’m not in the habit of buying roses for myself,” I chuckle lowly and under my breath, drop my head in self-inflicted shame. “And it’s not like men are lining up at my door, either.”

“You don’t get it, Anna.” She reaches across the table and drops her hand onto the back of my arm, like she’s comforting me or something. I rip my hand away from her and rise to meet her gaze as she continues, “Modern dating is like living in a brand new world.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” She clears her throat and straightens herself out. “Gone are the days when men had to make the first move.”

I pass her a knowing wink. “Which is something you don’t have to worry about anymore now that you’re off the market.” I reach into the stack of bridal magazines and grab the top one to begin perusing through it to come up with ideas. As I make my way through the magazine, I realize that I’m probably a terrible friend because I have no interest in this right now—or maybe not ever. I’m excited for the wedding itself, but the planning of it has been a drag already.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a bitter harpy doomed to forever be alone. I sigh and toss the magazine back onto the stack.

“You don’t seem like you’re usual self,” Summer says flatly. “Is there something on your mind?”

“Nothing too crazy.”

“Spill the tea.” She closes the magazine in front of her and shifts her complete attention towards me. “And don’t leave out any of the sordid details.”

“Trust me,” I laugh, “there’s nothing sordid about my discontent with my own life.”

“I see,” she muses. “Perhaps the problem is that you need something sordid.” She shrugs, her lips wrinkling into a cute grin. “Maybe you need a one-night stand, or maybe you need to just get out on the town and get trashed.”

I cock my head sideways in disdain. “I’m not a college sorority girl. I left those days behind me about…” I groan out loud. “Oh, that’s right. I never went to college.”

“You don’t need to go to college to be successful.”

“Right,” I point out. “But that’s not what we were talking about, right?” I push my chair backwards and climb to my feet. “I never got to experience the college thing, you know. Never ever really got too crazy. From the time I turned eighteen, I’ve been working one job after another, none of them requiring a particular skillset.”

“Don’t be hard on yourself.” She rises to join me, offering me a gentle pat on the shoulder for comfort. “You’re kickass at your job now, and there’s nobody in the world who could do what you do.”

“I don’t do much,” I sigh.

“What is this about?” She chuckles nervously and chews into her lip. “You help people. That’s the best job in this world. There’s nothing that could be more fulfilling.”

She’s got a point, and on that very basic level, I love my job. But just because you love something doesn’t mean you have to be content with not wanting more. I want more.

“It’s not the job itself.” I comb my fingers through my hair. “I had my first day off in the longest time yesterday, even though we haven’t been that busy. It reminded me that I like being outdoors.” I take a longing glance around the brick office. “Hell, I even like being surrounded by brick. I think there’s just something about spending my entire day inside what amounts to nothing more than a bunker. I want to get out more.”

“So, what you’re saying is that you basically want to do what the boys are doing, right?” She drops back down into her chair and nods. “I get that, but that’s a dangerous job.”

“Exactly!” I sit back down and kick my feet out. “I want to feel the rush of danger. I want to be out in the field. Maybe not in a permanent capacity, but it would be nice to go on an occasional adventure, you know?”

She eyes me suspiciously for the longest of moments. It’s like her eyes are piercing right through me. It’s the kind of death glare you’d expect from your worst enemy and not someone you call one of your best friends.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I question sheepishly, sinking deep into my seat.

“Let me tell you something about adventure.” She straightens herself out and clears her throat. “Do I need to remind you of the hell I went through? Because let me tell you, that was an adventure and it was not fun.”

“Yeah…” I exhale softly and sigh. “I mean, this is different though. I’d be out there helping people, you know?”

“Trust me when I say that after one day out in the field, you’ll be dying to return back to your desk job. But if that’s really what you want, then I say go for it.”

“As if,” I scowl under my breath. “Dominic would never let that happen. I mean, when he met me, I was just some girl on the streets who had a way with talking with people. That’s how I got this job, and I don’t think he’s in any hurry to push me out into the lion’s den, so to speak.”

“Right, but I was just thinking that maybe if this is something you really want to do, maybe you could like shadow one of the boys for a day.”

I purse my lips and nod, thinking about what she’s saying. It’s definitely something I’d consider and the more I think about it, the more I like the idea. Still, there’s the harsh beacon of reality staring me point blank in the face. The boys would never let that happen, and not because I’m a girl or anything like that, but because I’m simply not qualified. And I know while most of their jobs are mundane security tasks, sometimes, things can get pretty dicey out there.

“Can we go back to talking about your beautiful wedding now?” I question with a wide smile as I reach for the same magazine I was looking through earlier. I flip open the pages and my eyes settle on a metallic arrangement. They’re composed of mason jars with silver lettering and baby’s breath. “I kind of love these.”

She reaches for the magazine and slides it towards her so she can get a better view. She nods in agreement. “Cut that out and put it in the ideas folder.”

I do as instructed, reaching for a pair of scissors and cutting the half-page design out and then placing it into a purple folder. Then, I flip the page to see a catalog of wedding dresses by different designers. There’s a slim, modern dress with minimal lace decorations woven into the bottom of the dress. It’s absolutely stunning and I could totally see myself walking down the aisle in that very dress someday—if I could ever find a man who’s interested in me outside of asking me to fetch their coffee and brief clients.

I reach for the scissors and cut the photograph out carefully. Summer’s gaze catches mine and she frowns. “It’s a beautiful dress but definitely not what I’m going for.”

“Fortunately, Miss Prying Eyes, this isn’t for you.” I fold the photo in half and shove it into my jeans. “It’s for me.”

She furrows her brows and she needn’t say a word for me to understand what she’s trying to say.

“Not anytime soon.” I shrug and flip the page. “But a girl is allowed to dream about her future, right?”

She raises both hands in defeat and simply chuckles. I can’t help but to roll my eyes, all the while a quiet sadness falls over me. Truth be told, there’s someone I’ve had my eyes on for a while.

From outside the open window, I hear a car pull into the gravel lot and park just outside the front door. I hear a familiar voice—either Zane or Zach’s, I can’t be sure which—say out loud, “Thanks for the ride, man,” followed immediately by the closing of a car door.

“Thanks for the ride?” I hook a curious gaze to Summer. “Didn’t they take a car out earlier?”

“Yeah…” Summer climbs to her feet and steps to the office door. She holds it open, eagerly waiting for the boys to step foot first into the factory and then into the office.

I angle myself to get a good look at the twins walking in the door. They’re a little worse for wear than when they had left earlier in the morning, and the both of them look exhausted and beat. And though they look basically the exact same—the only difference is that Zane is wearing a white tee shirt and Zach is wearing a black one—there’s only one of the two boys that my heart skips a beat for and I can’t even begin to explain why.

There’s just something about him. Maybe it’s the way I occasionally catch him looking at me. Maybe it’s the way he walks and the way he talks—his voice is a slight bit deeper than his brother’s. Maybe it’s because he’s the older brother by a few minutes. Or maybe I’m just crazy. Maybe he doesn’t look at me any differently than his brother or any other man for that matter. Maybe it’s just me wishing that he were looking at me the way I often find myself looking at him.

Yeah, just maybe I’m a creep.

I clear my throat and adjust myself in my seat as the two boys stroll past me. They reek of sweat and musk, and the slightest trace of cinnamon. They’re mostly silent as they pass by, and Zach’s cheeks are noticeably flushed an embarrassing shade of red. Why? I don’t have the slightest clue.

“Good afternoon, ladies,” Zane says as he makes a beeline for the hidden elevator shaft behind the desk. I swivel in my chair to watch the two of them as they step into the elevator and twist on their feet. And when they do that, I swear Zane’s eyes lock with mine, but then again, I’m probably crazy. The elevator doors draw to a close and I can feel Summer’s gaze over the back of my head.

“Everyone knows you’ve had your eyes on Zane for the longest time.” Summer drops back down into her chair with a mischievous smile hitched across her lips. “Hell, I’ve only been around for about eight months and I know that. I’m sure he knows it too.”

“Would you be quiet?” I scold her in a whisper and groan out loud.

“Relax,” she scoffs. “Those doors are made out of steel. They can’t hear anything.”

“And you’re wrong,” I point out between gritted teeth, clearly lying. “The only thing I have my eyes on is…” I stumble over my own words before realizing that my proclamation isn’t going to go anywhere. My back dips against the chair as I slide down and cross my arms. “This is ridiculous and I’m not talking about it.” I flip through the pages of the magazine with a loud huff. “What about ivory?”

“That’s a hell no.” She reaches over the table, closes the magazine and drops it back onto the stack. Her eyes are full of judgment as she zones in on me. “You said you wanted an adventure, but you’re too scared to even make the first move. Remember what I said about the modern dating world?”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “But I’m a little more old-fashioned than you.”

She rolls her eyes so hard they practically fall off her face. “Whatever. It’s your choice. You can either continue living the same mundane life you’ve been living and just go home and drink wine with your cat or you can make the first move. I’m not about to tell you how to live your pitiful life.”

My mouth drops open. “Rude.”

She puckers her lips and clicks her tongue against her cheek. “Just keep doing what you’re doing and maybe we can plan your wedding from the assisted living home.”

“Even ruder.”

“What’s rude?” Chase questions from behind me, startling me so much that I shuffle forward, knocking my bottle of water onto the floor. I might even let out an embarrassing shriek. “You girls look like you’re rather busy,” he says as he passes me and steps behind Summer. He drops his head over her shoulder and kisses her on the cheek while holding his arms around her neck.

“Just go for it,” Summer says with a sly wink, and she’s directing her comment at me.

My cheeks flush even redder. Are we seriously going to continue this conversation in front of one of the guys?

“It’s a girl thing,” Summer says, cocking her head upwards to gaze into her lover’s eyes. She puckers her lips, waiting for the kiss she knows she’s about to receive. He drops his head lower and mouths his lips over her mouth.

My eyes just about roll into the back of my head. But she’s right. I need to just go for it and that’s just what I’m going to do. Just give me an hour or two to compose myself and I’ll march right into that elevator and seek out the things I want the most.

Or I could just fake an illness and go home for the day.

Difficult decisions.