Becky
Kungar Ice Caves, Russia
4 July 2018
Becky and Kai stand outside the cave. They are back again after going to the hospital that morning, where it had been confirmed Kai’s ankle was just bruised. In daylight, tourists mill about, the large iron gates open to the vast ice caves. But Becky is standing quietly amongst all the hustle and bustle, thinking about the fact she is finally about to meet the child her mum had given birth to all those years before.
‘You okay?’ Kai asks.
‘I’m fine,’ Becky says. She shakes her head. ‘No, that’s a lie actually. I’m bloody nervous. I haven’t been this nervous since my veterinary final exams. No, it’s worse than that,’ she adds, laughing nervously. ‘Or should I say, better than that.’
‘Totally better!’ Kai says with a bright smile on this face. ‘This is huge, possibly the most important meeting of your life.’
‘That is not making me any less nervous, Kai!’
As she says that, Lev approaches with a woman. She has long white hair like Idris’s, and is tall and slender. There’s a child with her, aged about three or four. They’re both wearing summer dresses, sandals, and flowers in their hair.
Becky feels breathless for a moment. Is that her sister … and does this mean she has a niece too? They’re both so beautiful.
‘Well, she looks like Idris from the photos I’ve seen of him,’ Kai whispers.
‘She does, doesn’t she?’ Becky replies, realising her voice is shaking.
‘This is Solar,’ Lev says when they get to them, his hand on his wife’s back. ‘And this is Liliya.’ He gently pushes the little girl forward, who curtsies at Becky and Kai.
Becky smiles. ‘Aren’t you beautiful, Liliya?’ She peers up at Solar … her sister. Was she really there, right in front of her? ‘Hello, Solar,’ she says.
‘Hello, Becky.’ She has brown eyes, elfin features.
‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere,’ Becky says with a nervous laugh.
Solar smiles. ‘So I’ve heard.’
‘Can – can we sit?’
‘Of course.’
‘We’ll leave you to it,’ Kai says, shooting Becky a smile as he walks off with Lev and Liliya.
The two women stroll to a nearby bench.
‘I’m not quite sure where to start,’ Becky says, looking into Solar’s eyes. She seems nervous, quiet. Maybe Idris was like that, insular, contemplative? Becky never got the chance to properly meet him.
‘Then let me start,’ Solar says. ‘I’m afraid to say I’m not your sister.’
Disappointment crushes Becky. ‘But … your name. And you lived in the caves with Idris, right? In Spain, Slovenia, visited this place with him?’ Becky says, looking around her.
‘Yes, Idris is my father. But we do not share the same mother.’
Becky thinks of the other name etched onto the wall of the cave.
‘Is your mother Oceane?’ she asks Solar.
Solar nods. ‘Yes.’
‘But I thought she was with Caden?’
Solar nods again. ‘It happened before Idris met your mother. She ran away when she found out she was pregnant, worried what effect it would have on your mother and Idris. And about what my grandmother would say.’
Becky puts her hands over her face, trying to wrap her head around what she’s saying. ‘I’ve been on a wild goose chase!’
Solar puts her hand on Becky’s shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry, Becky. This is why I wanted to tell you myself, to your face, after Lev told me everything you told him this morning.’
‘So what about the child my mum gave birth to? Did she even have a child?’
‘She did. But I’m afraid I don’t know much more than that. My mother’s on holiday, but I spoke to my grandmother and she confirmed your mother did have a baby. She wants to talk to you when you return to the UK. Here’s her number – her name’s Donna. She said to call any time.’ She hands over a piece of paper.
Becky is quiet for a few moments as she looks at it, taking it all in. Then she stands up. ‘I appreciate you coming out to meet with me.’
Solar smiles sadly. ‘It’s a pleasure. If you need to talk, I’m here. As Children of the Current we must stick together.’
Becky looks at the girl she thought was her sister and shakes her head. ‘I was never a Child of the Current.’ Then she walks away, one question raging in her mind: what happened to the baby her mum gave birth to?