“So, what are your brothers’ names?” Lily asked curiously. She hadn’t been thrilled with the idea of spending all day alone with Nikoli trapped in a car, but the bribe of driving a Mach 1? So worth it.
“Kade is the oldest,” he replied, focused on the road. “Dimitri, Viktor, Connor, then me, and Callum is the youngest at twenty.”
“Six boys?” she said. “I bet your mama had her hands full.”
“You’ve no idea. If one of us wasn’t bleeding all over her floor, then we were all fighting. She has this look that could make us all feel both embarrassed and ashamed in a heartbeat.”
“I think all mothers have that look.” Her own mother certainly did. She’d used it when Lily announced her plans to move to Boston for college.
“How about you?” Nikoli asked. “Do you have any other brothers or sisters?”
Lily nodded. “Mom remarried when Laney and I were fourteen.”
“You were twins?” Nikoli interrupted.
“Yeah. Identical.” They couldn’t have been more different, though. Laney hated the racetrack, hated cars in general. She’d have rather stayed home and helped Mom with whatever. Lily grew up on the racetrack, Laney grew up shopping and learning to be the future prom queen. No matter how different they were, though, they were also the same. Laney loved Lily more than anything in the world, and Lily felt the same. She still felt empty inside, like a piece of her was missing without her twin. Sometimes it was a physical ache that hurt so bad, she had to lie down until it passed. “So, back to your question. I have a little brother and sister. Twins again. They run in my mom’s family. Mia and Mitchell.”
“Does your fear apply to them too?” Nikoli asked softly.
Lily sighed. She wished to God she could say no. They were babies and didn’t understand why she wouldn’t play with them or hold them, or even kiss them. She loved them to death, but she couldn’t physically show it.
“I’m guessing that’s a yes?” At her nod, he said, “Well, we’ll fix that soon enough, Lily Bells.”
“Tell me about growing up in Russia.” She needed to get off this line of questioning. It was making her nervous. Just talking about her psychosis made her neurotic sometimes. She wanted to enjoy the day, not slump into a depression.
“I’ll tell you all about Russia if you do one thing for me.” Nikoli’s even and calm tone put Lily’s defenses on red alert. He was up to something.
“What?” she asked suspiciously.
Nikoli laughed. “Don’t look at me like I’ve just asked you to commit felony murder. It’s something simple.”
“What?” she asked again, suspecting it was something worse than felony murder.
“I want you to touch me.”
She stared at him. He kept his eyes on the road. He wanted her to touch him?
“You can poke my arm with your finger if you want,” he offered, keeping his tone light.
“Why?”
“Because Lily, you have to be comfortable with me…”
“And you think I’m going to get there by you forcing me to do something I don’t want to do?” Her voice sounded shrill even to her, but she couldn’t help it. She was already starting to panic just thinking about it.
“I’m not forcing you,” he said calmly. “You want to hear about Russia, I want you to touch me. It’s a fair trade. If you can’t do it, then we’ll talk about something else.”
Lily took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself. She closed her eyes and counted to twenty like one therapist had taught her to do. This was what she’d asked him to help her with, to help her learn to tolerate someone’s touch. Nikoli was even giving her the control, letting her touch him. Could she do it?
Fingertips ran down her arm from shoulder to hand, and she flinched away from them. Her eyes snapped open and she looked at Nikoli, but his eyes were still fixed on the road. “Sneak attack?” she spat. How dare he? He’d said she could touch him, and here he went and took that little bit of control away.
He grinned. “Yup.”
Bastard.
“Choice is yours, Lily Bells,” Nikoli said. “We can talk about Russia, or you can tell me about growing up on the racetrack.”
“Why don’t you tell me something else about yourself instead?” she asked. Russia would have to wait. She wasn’t ready to touch him yet. It was too soon.
“Nope. You want to know something about me, you know the price.”
She gasped. “You…you…you…”
He reached over and hovered a finger in front of her lips, not touching her, but she got the point. “Uh-uh, Milaya. If you want to know something about me, it’s going to cost you. A simple touch. That’s all. If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready, but that’s the price of asking me questions about myself.”
Bastard.
“Be pissed all you want, Lily, but those are the rules.”
“I thought you said we’d do this with patience.” She glared. He said one thing, but did another. What the ever-loving hell?
“I’m being very patient, Lily.” His black eyes swung her way, and she stopped breathing for a moment. She could see the blind lust in them. “Your version of patience and mine are two entirely different things. If I did what I wanted, I’d stop the car and take you right here, right now, but I’m not doing that, am I? Instead, I’m giving you options.”
“Options?” she nearly choked out. “I don’t call those options, more like hostage negotiations.”
He laughed. “Hostage negotiations? Well, now, milka, I think I can do that if you’d prefer. It’s just as easy to tie you up and touch you. I’d like it too.”
“I don’t even know what to say to that,” she squeaked.
His grin was downright evil. “When we do that, Milaya, talking will be the last thing on your mind.”
“You think I’d let you tie me up?” She gave him an are-you-out-of-your-mind look.
“Yes, Lily,” he said, turning his attention back to the road. “You are going to let me do just that. Not yet, but soon enough.”
“You’re insane if you think I’d ever agree to that.”
“We’ll see.” He smiled. “Are you hungry yet? It’s almost noon, and we still have another hour to go before we get to Windham.”
She was hungry, and her stomach rumbled at the mention of food. Nikoli laughed and pulled into a diner of some sort. She hadn’t even realized they were in a town. “Where are we?” she asked as they went in.
“We’re in Norwalk. At least that’s what the GPS said. Weren’t you paying attention to it?”
He could ask her that after his nonsense in the car? She shook her head, but followed the waitress to a booth in the back. It was a charming little place, seaside themed, but then again, they were near the coast. The waitress took their drink orders and left them to look at the menu.
“What are you frowning at?” Nikoli asked. She’d been glaring at the menu for the last few minutes.
“Do you think they have fresh fish or frozen?”
“We’re in Massachusetts, Lily, they have fresh fish.”
“Ohmygosh, don’t you ever watch Kitchen Nightmares or Restaurant Impossible?”
“Uh, no?”
Her eyes widened. “They’re shows that tell you what really goes on behind the scenes in a restaurant. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen…”
“Is that why you asked for no ice?” Nikoli grinned. She looked appalled he’d never seen the shows.
“Yes! Do you know how many places don’t clean their ice machines? Have you ever seen what the bacteria looks like that grows when they don’t?”
“Nope, not a clue.” Nikoli shifted, bringing his right foot up to sit beside her left leg on the seat.
“What are you doing?” she asked, but before she could scoot, he moved his other foot, trapping her. He didn’t touch her, but he refused to let her move away from him.
“Stretching my legs,” he said. “Three hours of driving and they need it.”
“Well, then go take a walk or something, but move your feet.”
“No.”
“No?” she asked incredulously, and he chuckled. “This is not funny, Nikoli.”
“I’d disagree. It’s about as funny as you calling me a manwhore in front of everyone this morning.”
The poor waitress picked that minute to show up. Julie, as her nametag read, blushed as bright as a cherry and gave him a look he did not appreciate. “Are you…uh…um…ready to…order?”
“Cheeseburger and fries,” Nikoli said, scowling at Lily. She was grinning from ear to ear. Damn woman. He was not a whore!
“Is the fish fresh?” Lily asked, smirking at Nikoli.
“Yes, of course. The owner gets it from the docks fresh every morning.”
“Chowder then, thank you.” Lily smiled at her and handed over the menus. The girl nearly ran from the table. “Don’t blame me. That was all you, buster.”
“You’re supposed to be helping me with my reputation, Lily Bells, not causing it further damage.”
“Kinda hard to do when you blurt out things worse than a girl.”
Nikoli’s mouth fell open, and Lily burst out laughing. He was going to wring her neck yet.
“Are you going to move your feet?” she asked again.
“No.” She frowned, and he shifted both feet closer to her. He still wasn’t touching any part of her, but she started to fidget. He was hoping she’d get the nerve to push his feet away from her. It would force her to touch him. That first touch was going to be the hardest. He wanted it out of the way quickly. It was like the first time you rode your bike without training wheels. You knew you were going to fall, it was inevitable, but once you did, you got up, got back on, and took off again. That first fall was the hardest, but once you knew what was coming, you were okay with it. She would be okay once she got over that initial contact.
“Why the hell not?” she demanded.
“Because I like you trapped,” he purred. “It makes me happy.”
“Do I look like I care if your perverseness makes you happy or not?” she snapped. “I’m not happy, so move your damn feet.”
“Nope, you have to make me move.” Before she could argue, he interrupted her. “So, about this bet I never agreed to…”
“What about it?” She wasn’t even looking at him, she was staring at his foot.
“What in God’s name gave you the idea I’d ever put my car up for a wager?”
“Afraid of a little bet, Kincaid?” She looked up and smiled, really smiled, and Nikoli felt his insides twist a bit. She was gorgeous when she smiled. He’d seen her laughing and smiling, but not like this. It was genuine and happy.
“No, I’m not, dushka, but you should be.” He leaned across the table, invading her personal space. “Do you really think I’d ever lose my car in a bet, especially a bet about sex?”
“I told you not to call me that,” she whispered, pushing herself back against the seat and as far from him as she could get. Luckily, that was only a few inches.
Her tongue darted out and wet her lips. His eyes followed the movement, and he felt himself growing hard imagining what that tongue would feel like against his skin. “You smell like vanilla, Lily. It reminds me of sugar cookies. Would you taste like warm vanilla sugar cookies, Milaya?”
“Uh, Nikoli,” she whispered, drawing in a ragged breath. “You’re eyes are getting darker.”
“Mmm,” he said, pushing himself closer to her. “Do you know why, Lily?”
She shook her head, and he smiled the smile guaranteed to get a woman out of her clothes. “It’s because I’m imagining all the things I could get you to do with that lovely little tongue of yours.”
Lily’s eyes widened and her breathing sped up. Nikoli pressed closer, his own mouth a hair’s breadth from hers. “Would you like to do that, Lily?”
Someone cleared their throat and Nikoli was forced to look up. Their waitress stood there, holding their plates. He groaned, frustrated, but moved back so she could put the plates down. Her hands were a little shaky when she pulled them back. Lily took one look at her and blinked. He watched all the progress he’d made in the last few minutes slip away as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, they were wary, watchful.
Frustration welled up, but Nikoli refused to show it. Instead, he smiled lazily up at the waitress. “Thank you, Julie.”
“You’re…ah…welcome.” Julie turned and walked away, glancing back several times. Lily made some kind of disgusted noise, but Nikoli ignored her. He picked up a fry and dipped it in ketchup. “So, now back to this bet…”
“The bet stands,” Lily said between bites of chowder, “unless, of course, you’re afraid you’ll lose.” Lily worked hard to keep her tone even. Nikoli had gotten to her for a minute there. She’d even wanted him to touch her, and that made her nervous. Confused too. She’d gone so long without someone’s touch, it made no sense to her that she craved his. She couldn’t let him see just how much he affected her.
“We’ve already established I’m not afraid of losing,” Nikoli countered. “Where did that particular little idea come from? It’s not something we talked about last night.”
“You want people to think we’re dating, don’t you?”
He nodded.
“Then I had to find a way to make them believe I’d ever date you.”
“What’s wrong with dating me?” he asked, putting his burger back down. He looked so outraged, Lily couldn’t help but giggle. An honest to God giggle. She was not a girl who giggled, but Nikoli brought it out in her. Not even Adam could make her so much as think about giggling.
“You’re not exactly dating material,” Lily said, laughing as his face became even more outraged.
“Why the hell not?” he demanded. “No one’s ever complained before.”
“Nikoli, you’re gorgeous, sexy, and every girl’s fantasy, but no girl would date you.”
He growled, his feet inching closer. She glanced down nervously, but her eyes shot back up when a fry hit her in the face. He did not! “You really want to start a food fight when I have clam chowder to throw at you?”
“Explain why no girl would date me.” His tone was clipped and hard. Ohh, she’d hit a nerve! Good. The man needed taken down a peg or two.
“You’re the bucket list guy,” she told him. “You’re the guy every girl wants to sleep with just once, but that’s it. Oh, you’ll get those who think they can change you, but we know deep down, you’re a one night stand kind of guy. You’ve got commitment issues.”
“I do not!”
“Really?” she asked. “Tell me when was the last time you had a relationship that lasted more than a night?”
“You.”
“I don’t count,” she said. “Besides, what we’re doing isn’t really a relationship. The question is why you don’t want a healthy relationship with one person.”
“I have my reasons,” he told her.
She snorted, but continued. “Girls, like guys, don’t want someone everyone and anyone can have and has had at one time or another.”
“I have not slept with as many women as you think. Girls tend to let their friends think something happened. I just don’t correct them.”
Like she believed that? Ha! She’d seen him with more women over the last three years than she could count. “You also have no respect for women.”
“I have respect for them,” he said and then paused. “Well, some of them. I respect you and my mother. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“Why don’t you respect them?” she asked, curious.
“As you like to point out, I’ve slept with a lot of women, not as many as you think, but enough. I’ve seen them cheat on their husbands, boyfriends, and fight with their best friends to sleep with me. I don’t say this to sound arrogant or to brag, it’s just a fact. Why would I respect people who would throw everything away for sex? If you’re not happy, then have enough balls to ’fess up to it. Don’t disrespect someone else by cheating.”
Lily frowned and shoved a spoon of chowder into her mouth to keep from having to respond right away. She hadn’t expected that answer from Nikoli. It’s something she would have said. And he had a point, dammit. How could a person respect someone who couldn’t respect themselves or others? Well, damn, maybe Nikoli did have some kind of moral code.
“Anyway, back on topic, the bet,” she said. She needed a few minutes to process the whole deep side of Nikoli Kincaid. “People know me, they know I’d never go out with you willingly, so I came up with something they’d believe, that Adam would believe.”
“Boy Wonder does know about your car addiction.” Nikoli nodded as if everything made sense. “So it’s not a real bet, then? I can do…”
“Oh, it’s a real bet,” Lily interrupted. “The way I see it, this…proposition of yours is completely one-sided.”
“One-sided?” he asked incredulously. “You get Boy Wonder out of it.”
“But what if I don’t?” Lily asked. “What if I can’t get past my fear of people touching me? Or what if you can help me and I still don’t get Adam? What if we’re both wrong and he loves Sue too much to leave her? Theoretically, if that happens, you might manage to get me to sleep with you. You win in either scenario, and I get jack. This way, I stand a chance of walking away with a car that I want more than almost anything else.”
Nikoli watched her through hooded eyes. She hadn’t noticed he’d pressed his feet against her thighs. She was so focused on their conversation, she forgot to be afraid. It was definitely progress and proved if he was patient, he’d end up with her in his bed, so why shouldn’t he bet his car? Not a chance in hell he’d lose it to begin with. So why not?
“All right, Lily Bells, I’ll bite. If you can stay out of my bed for three months, then you can have my car.”
Her face lit up and she nearly jumped up and down where she sat. It didn’t take a lot to make her happy. He settled back, content to watch for a minute. She still hadn’t noticed his feet, and he debated telling her. He didn’t want to ruin the moment, but then again, she might be so shocked, she shoved them.
“How old is Kade?” she asked, taking another bite of her chowder.
“He’s twenty-seven.” Nikoli watched the spoon disappear into her mouth and then slide out between her lips. He rubbed her leg with his foot in response. “Lives in Virginia and works for the FBI.”
“Really?” Lily asked. “He didn’t go back to Russia?”
“No, none of my brothers did. We might eventually, but we like America. We have more freedoms here than we do in Russian. Kade and I have been trying to convince our parents to move back to the States for years, but our mother loves Russia.”
“Hey, Bob, turn that up!”
Both Nikoli and Lily looked to see the guy behind the counter turn the volume up on the wall mounted TV screen. A reporter stood in a park, a crime scene behind him. The body of the missing girl who had been all over the news had just been found. People started talking all at once, but Nikoli pulled his attention back to Lily. She was frowning and shaking her head.
“Are you worried about that?” he asked.
“Not really worried, just sad. Freaked too. They found that poor girl really close to campus.”
“Whoever he is, he doesn’t seem to be targeting college campuses, at least,” Nikoli offered, hoping to calm her nerves a bit. A lot of the girls on campus were starting to worry about that. Campus security had posted flyers everywhere warning women not to go anywhere alone if they could help it. He might be freaked too if he was a girl.
“Let’s hope it stays that way,” she said, staring at the TV screen. “Are you about ready to go? I lost my appetite.”
“Sure.” He signaled the waitress for the check. “One thing, though.”
“Hmm?”
“How do you plan on getting out of your seat?”
She gave him a questioning look, and he pointed at his feet, pressed up against her thighs all snug and cozy. She looked down, and her mouth dropped open. Her eyes darted from his face to his feet. He waited patiently for her to get over the shock. Julie set the check down on the table, and he nodded at whatever she said, but didn’t break eye contact with Lily.
Lily gasped and nearly had a small heart attack right then and there. Nikoli had managed to press his feet against her and she’d never noticed. How had she not noticed this? She could feel them like a hot iron burning through her pajama bottoms now that she saw them, but God only knew how long he’d been like this. She’d been too distracted to realize he’d pulled another sneak attack on her.
Strange thing was, she wasn’t about to hyperventilate. It could be because it was just his shoes and not technically him. There was no skin to skin contact. Did this even qualify as touching? Her brain screamed yes, especially when he rubbed his foot back and forth. She felt it, and it felt…nice. It was such a foreign sensation, she reached out and pushed his foot away from her without thinking.
Nikoli let out a low hum of satisfaction. Lily wasted no time in scrambling out of the booth and fleeing the diner. She went straight to his car and stayed there, trying to focus. She did it. She’d touched him. Oh. My. God. She did it! Relief swept through her. She’d been terrified she couldn’t do it, scared that she was too broken to fix, but she touched him!
Sure it was only a shoe, but even yesterday, she wouldn’t have been able to do that. His sneak attacks were working, making her more comfortable with him. Nikoli could distract her like no one else, and maybe that was the key to learning to touch and be touched. She could do this. For the first time since she was sixteen years old, she had hope. Hope.
Nikoli was smart enough not to say a word when he unlocked the car. She climbed in, buckled her seatbelt and smiled. “Tell me about Russia.”
Nikoli put the car in gear, and then started them moving again. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything.” He laughed and spent the remainder of the car ride telling her about growing up in Russia with his brothers, about their favorite places to play when they were little, and then about their favorite hangouts when they got older. He told her about the castles, the architecture, and the culture. Everything he could fit into an hour, anyway. He did promise to tell her more when they pulled onto the dirt road leading to Jasper Moore’s house and his Mach 1.
The house was a bit run-down, the paint peeling, and he could see several shingles on the roof that needed replacing before winter set in. His beautiful car sat in the driveway, prepped and ready to go. When they pulled up, he could see what it cost Lily not to jump out of the car. She was a smart woman, though, and understood you didn’t just go wandering around a stranger’s property. Nikoli honked the horn, and they both waited for the guy to come out.
Jasper Moore was just as run-down as the house. His clothes were messy. He had a hole in his shirt, and he looked like he hadn’t showered in days. Nikoli debated telling Lily to stay in the car, but the way she was eyeballing the Mach 1 said she’d stab him if he tried. Suppressing a smile, he got out, and Lily followed close on his heels.
“You Kincaid?” Jasper had a raspy voice that sounded like he smoked one too many cigarettes. He ran his gaze over Lily from head to toe, eye fucking her as he did. Lily wasn’t even paying attention; her focus was all on the car.
Nikoli stepped in front of Lily, cutting off Jasper’s access to her ass. He did not like the way his eyes had zeroed in and stayed there. “I am. I’ve got the check. Keys?”
Jasper pulled them out of his pocket. “You want to start it up first?”
“Always do. Lily?” He tossed her the keys when she turned around. “Pop the hood and start her for me?”
She ghosted her fingers across the top of the car, never touching the paint, before opening the door and sliding in. She popped the hood and then cranked the ignition. It came to life, and relief swept through Nikoli. He’d been afraid the car wouldn’t start. It was obvious Jasper had no clue how to take care of it since he didn’t understand how much it was worth. “Rev it up for me, will ya, Lily Bells?” Nikoli said as he propped the hood up. The engine roared, and he grinned. This was his four hundred thousand dollar victory car. He might need to tweak it a little, but this one was gonna take it home.
“It still runs like the day my uncle dropped it off here,” Jasper said. “He died a couple years back and left me the car.”
“How long has it sat idle?” Lily asked. She was already checking the interior for flaws.
“Nearly four years.” Jasper moved closer to the car.
“How often did you start it?” she asked.
“I started it up a few days ago before I put it up for sale to make sure it still ran.”
Lily gaped at him, and Nikoli chuckled. Jasper here was not a car buff. “Well, that explains why it’s almost out of gas,” she grouched. “It might make it to the station.”
Shaking his head at her disgusted tone, Nikoli turned his attention back to Jasper, who was standing much too close to Lily, even if she was safely in the car. There was something about the guy, something off, that rubbed Nikoli the wrong way, and he definitely didn’t like the way he stared at Lily. If she was paying attention, she’d be freaking out. For once, Nikoli was glad her car lusting made her oblivious.
“If you’ll get the title, I’ve got the check.” He pulled out his wallet and fished out the certified cashier’s check.
Jasper turned and disappeared back into the house. Nikoli waited impatiently while watching Lily. She was going over everything, finding imperfections and clucking like a mother hen. The fact that she could lust over a car and not him still blew his mind. It was sexy as hell.
“Is there enough gas in that thing to make it to the station?” Nikoli asked to get his mind off things that would drive him insane on the four hour trip back to school.
“I think so, but barely,” she said, frowning. “The passenger seat’s leather is ripped in two places. There’s a crack in the dash, and there’s a tiny dent back by the back fender.”
“Are you okay driving it back?” he asked. “You said it’s been a while since you’ve driven anything like it…”
“Does that mean I can drive your car?”
“Hell, no!”
“Then, yes, I’m good driving this one back.” She looked up at him and winked. “Just try to catch me.”
His eyes widened at the challenge, but before he could say anything else, Jasper was back with the title and a bill of sale. Nikoli made sure the title was signed, then handed over the check.
“Good doing business with you.” Jasper nodded and went back inside the house.
Nikoli turned his attention back to Lily. He crouched down in front of the driver’s window. “Are you sure about this? I can always bring Luther back to…”
“I’m fine, Nikoli,” she told him. “I’m more comfortable behind the wheel of a car than I am anywhere else. I’m not going to crash her. I promise.”
“Okay, follow me to the station. Let’s hope there’s enough gas in there to make it. I’d hate to leave it on the side of the road even long enough to go get gas.”
Lily nodded and obediently followed him to the station. Once the tank was full, she grinned. The boy had no idea how well she could drive. Her dad may have died, but she loved cars and had spent her teenage years learning all sorts of tricks. This baby had all the bells and whistles she could ever want. Not only was she in the driver’s seat of one of the most awesome cars ever created, she’d managed to actually touch Nikoli. That still made her smile from ear to ear. It wasn’t major to most people, but it was to her.
Nikoli came out of the store and handed her a cold bottle of water. “You ready?”
“Are you?” She grinned up at him.
“Oh, Milaya, I’m always ready.” His fingers reached out and traced her cheek. She barely flinched and didn’t pull away. She was getting used to the feel of his hands on her. She looked at him, shocked and surprised. Why wasn’t she freaking out? It made no sense to her.
He smiled. “I’m going to win.”
“You keep thinking that,” she said, pulling away from him and starting the car. “See you back on campus!”
With that Lily pulled out, leaving Nikoli running for his own car. She laughed and went from forty to eighty to a hundred. The wind whipped through her hair, and the feel of the car beneath her reminded her how much she loved driving. She’d missed it. There was so much freedom and power in letting a car run flat out. Nikoli was catching up, and Lily smiled an evil smile. The man had no chance. She was in a fully modded racing car. His ’Cuda was amazing, but he would never catch the Mach 1.
Pressing her foot down on the acceleration pedal, she picked up speed and left Nikoli Kincaid in her rear view mirror.