After a couple of days of rest, I was starting to feel better. My head was a bit clearer, and I didn’t feel as weak as I did before. Once I got back into the routine of classes, I completely blocked out everything else. I was back to having a one-track mind, fully determined to do my best. School had a way of keeping me grounded and on track. That must’ve been why my parents insisted that I stay so focused. I was always smart, certainly not the smartest, but I worked hard for my good grades. Even in high school. I was the one you’d find studying in the library until closing time, and who’d stay after school to get extra one-on-one help from my teachers. It wasn’t that I didn’t know the material. I just strived to be the best that I could be. Mostly anyway, up until I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I always thought that it would be impossible for me to slip, or to fail in any way, but I was keeping bad company. I was finding myself doing certain things just because everyone else was doing them. Thankfully, that was all in the past. I rarely brought it up. Actually, I tried hard not to think of it at all, because it was a time in my life that I hated remembering. Too many things happened that I wanted to erase and pretend didn’t.

Just thinking about those times made me tremble, made me wish I were a whole other person. I really needed to start getting to class a little later, so I didn’t have the time to sit and think. Certain classrooms like this one that were small and intimate, made me reminisce too damn much.

As people started bustling in, the noise level grew. This was the time when I would get overwhelmed. Normally, I would. I’d worry about the crowd. Wonder if people were staring at me. They usually weren’t though. I was just paranoid. Things felt a little different today. Coming to class a sophomore, made me a little less nervous. I guess I just knew what to expect this time.

The back row of class was where I always sat, just in case Fox needed to find me for some reason. He always knew to look for me in the back row. No one ever bothered me much there.

With my pen in hand, I tapped it along the edge of the table in front of me. I was in another world watching as people filled up the seats when a male voice spoke my name. I recognized it immediately, but it wasn’t a good thing. That voice was one that used to haunt my dreams. I’d know it anywhere.

I froze in place, as the chair next to me scooted roughly across the floor. The screeching sound it made sent shivers down my body.

“Long time, no see,” he said.

My body was still frozen in place. Any sudden movements would draw attention to me and that was the last thing I wanted. Turning slowly, I lifted my head in his direction.

Oh, how I wish I hadn’t. That face was sickening. I remembered it all too well.

“I don’t see that brother of yours anywhere,” he spoke again. The sound of his voice sent icy chills through my veins. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember his name, but I didn’t need to.

That face.

That voice.

I’d never forget.

“What do you want?” I asked him. My voice was just barely above a whisper.

“Nothing.” He grinned. “I just like seeing you squirm.”

I felt like I could vomit, like every piece of my insides was rattled. A flash of that dreadful night came rolling in, and I squeezed my eyes shut tight. I wanted it to go away. I wanted him to go away. So much of that night was hazy to me, but the few pieces I remember all involved him, the nameless face that was sitting right next to me.

My feet were itching to run away, but I didn’t want him to follow. I sat there patiently waiting for the professor to walk in, so I could bolt like lightning.

He moved in a little closer, and I could hear his breathing. It was heavy like a dog, and I couldn’t take it anymore. There was no way I could sit there next to the guy who attacked me.

I jumped up from my seat, and grabbed my bag. My feet moved as if they had a mind of their own, and I left the room so fast my head was spinning.

Every pounding step matched the beat of my heart, fast and loud.

How could he be there? How could he talk to me after what he did?

It was the night after homecoming. I was at some party with a couple of my girlfriends. We drank a lot that night. I remember that. We were drinking everything that was handed to us.

He was there.

He locked the door to the bedroom.

I remember his face.

I remember how he tried to touch me.

I remember the sound of his breath in my ear.

I remember pounding on the bedroom door and screaming.

Then I remember the fight.

And I remember the car…

But that was it.

Everything else was a blur. But hearing his voice just then, made me feel afraid and anxious, even sad. It rattled me. I was like a Magic 8 Ball of emotions. Shake me and see what emotion you get next.

“Ow, shit!” I said when my arm slammed against the concrete wall. I don’t know how far I’d run, but when I looked over my shoulder he wasn’t there. He hadn’t followed me, but it didn’t stop my racing heart.

Unable to catch my breath, I squatted down and put my head between my knees. My eyes were shut tight when I felt a hand touch my back. Instinctively I lurched forward, scared to death.

“Get away!” I yelled out. Hoping someone else would hear me and help.

“Gwen.”

I looked back at Paislee. She had crouched down next to me with a petrified look on her face. She had no idea how happy I was to see her.

I sighed in relief, and my shoulders relaxed. Without giving it a single thought, I threw my whole body in her direction. I wrapped my arms around her and the tears started to fall. There was no stopping them. I was never so happy to see another person than I was in that moment. It didn’t matter that I barely knew her.

“Are you okay?” She asked me, but I didn’t know how to answer her. My breaths were still short and ragged, and my hands were still shaking.

“I need my brother.” Those were the only words I could manage to say.

She shook her head. “Okay. Where’s your phone?”

I reached inside the front pocket of my bag, and held it out to her. There was no way I could dial. My hands were barely working.

“It’s under Fox,” I told her.

She found it quickly and held the phone up to her ear. “Can you stand?” She asked me, but I wasn’t sure. Possibly, unless my knees were as unsteady as my hands.

I took her free hand with mine and stood slowly, perching myself up against the wall. She was explaining to Fox where we were and told him we’d be right outside the doors to the building. The conversation was short, but Fox wasn’t much of a talker. He never had been.

I heard her say “I don’t know,” and “I’m not sure,” a couple of times. It made me feel like such an idiot that she’d seen me that way, and had no idea what was going on.

She hung up the call, and handed my phone back to me before picking up my bag. “I told him we’d meet him right out front.”

“Thank you,” I said sincerely. She was truly a lifesaver.

Taking a deep breath, I felt relieved. Fox was on his way, and would be there any moment. He’d fix everything.

At least that’s what I hoped.

I continued taking deep breaths, trying hard to keep myself calm. In through my mouth, out through my nose.

Inhale.

Exhale.

“Birdy.” I heard the voice that I’d been waiting to here. “I’ve got you.”

I tucked my face into his neck, breathing him in. It was an instant relief, like someone had finally let the air out of me right before I was about burst. “Fox,” I whispered.

“I’ve got you, Little Bird. I’m taking you home.”

I kept my face buried in his shirt and didn’t look up as we walked to his car. My fingers were still trembling when he helped me into the front seat. I slouched down, feeling defeated. The weight of it all exhausted me, like I’d just finished running a marathon.

When Fox was situated behind the wheel, he turned to face me. His smile was wavering, and the concerned look on his face frightened me. His hand reached up to the chest of his shirt, and he rubbed small circles over the spot where is heart sat firmly in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” I told him, unsure of what I was even apologizing for. I just felt like a burden all the time. Like he wished he never had a sister. Surely, he’d rather have a normal life and not one where he has to constantly worry about me. He always finds a way to rescue me somehow, and I wonder if he secretly wishes he could run far away from it all or if I’m the only one wishing to run.

After a brief moment of silence, he finally spoke. “I’m sorry too, Little Bird.”

“For what?” I whispered.

“For everything,” he responded.

The pain was evident on his face. I didn’t respond, because seeing him so upset made my chest ache. Instead, I tucked myself into the seat and let my eyes drift shut.

Could this day be over already?