Obi was clearly feeling guilty about everything that was happening with Fox, Josh, and me. I only had to ask him once if we could take a drive tonight, and he agreed. He was always the softer brother, the one easiest to cave.

When I texted Josh earlier and he told me that he was going out with Garrett, I thought that was a great idea. He’d been cooped up for days, he was stressing about missing school, and he needed to let off some steam after the whole fight with Fox. If it were possible for me to have a night out with friends, then that’s exactly where I’d be.

A drive with Obi was the closest thing I was going to get, and I wasn’t about to complain. The weather was beautiful, and I didn’t have to stay cooped up in the house. Staying closed up in my bedroom always put me in a bad mood.

The music was blaring from the speakers and I had my seat laid back, and my feet on the dash. It was the most relaxed I’d felt in a long time. It didn’t feel like someone was breathing down my neck or watching my every move. It was just the music, the breeze, and me. Well, except for Obi, but he was being so quiet that I forgot that he was even there. He drove us for miles, never bothering to turn down the radio. It was nice, almost peaceful.

As the sun started to set, we pulled off onto a gravel road that I didn’t recognize. I never asked where we were or where we were going. It didn’t matter to me.

The gravel road was bumpy as we followed it all the way to the edge of a small pond. Obi reached over and cranked the radio down, and for the first time since we got in the car, he spoke. “Do you mind if we just sit out here for a while, before we go back home?”

With the beautiful sunset on the horizon, how could I say no. “I don’t mind. Where are we?” I was curious. It was quiet place. The only noise outside was the sound of crickets chirping, and the occasional bullfrog.

He shut off the ignition, and rested his elbow on the edge window. “This is the backside of Jude’s farm. I’ve been out here a few times, and I love how peaceful it is. It’s great if you feel the need to release some pent-up energy.” He said those last words with a little sarcasm in his voice.

“It really is,” I agreed. “I didn’t know that Jude lived so far away from school though. We must’ve driven more than twenty miles.”

“He doesn’t. His family owns hundreds of acres, and their house sits on the other side, much closer to town.” He pointed across the field.

I rested my head against the seat, gazing off into the distance. There was beautiful countryside for as far as the eye could see. “It’s nice here. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so stress-free. This was the best idea ever. Thank you.”

“I’m glad to hear it, and you’re welcome.” His sweet eyes met mine, and I thought about the first day he came to live with us. I loved him so much, even from the very beginning. “In the moment, things sort of feel normal.”

“What do you mean by normal?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he waved me off. “I don’t know why I said normal. I guess I meant things didn’t feel so hectic. You know?”

For a second there, I hoped he meant normal. It was one word that always lingered in the back to my mind. It was frustrating, to wish for normalcy and to never even get close enough to fathom it.

“You can say that again,” I agreed, before looking back out the window. I closed my eyes and made a mental list of the people that made me the happiest in the whole world.

My Parents.

Fox.

Obi.

Josh.

The list was short, but the people were significant.

If only Fox could see it that way.

“What are you thinking about?” Obi asked. His voice caught me off guard.

“Fox actually,” I admitted. “I keep hoping that one of these days he will come around, but it may take losing him for that to happen.”

“Losing him?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to move on with my life one of these days. I’m going to graduate from college. I’m going to have a degree, and I’m going to move out of this town and away from it all.” My voice rose as I threw my hands out in front of me. “I’m afraid by that time, Fox and I won’t be close anymore. There is so much resentment building up inside of me, that I’m finding it hard to forgive him. His behavior is irrational, and he’s suffocating me more and more every day.”

He twisted in his seat so that he was facing my direction. “You’re choosing Josh over Fox?” He accused.

I rolled my eyes. “Really? In any of those words that I said, did you hear me say that I was choosing Josh over Fox?”

“Well that’s what it sounded like.”

“That’s not what I said. This has nothing at all to do with Josh. The two of you have had me trapped like a caged bird forever. Fox is worse than you, but it’s gotten so bad that I find it hard to breathe sometimes. I don’t have girlfriends, or guy friends for that matter. I don’t leave the house unsupervised. I can’t date without Fox beating the crap out of someone. I don’t know if I’m coming or going, and most days I cry myself to sleep. I just want a life, you know. And I feel like Fox would rather see me miserable, than give me one day of happiness.”

He reached across the seat and took my hand. “I don’t think that’s true. He loves you. We both love you.”

“I know you love me. I love you guys too, but this isn’t about love. This is about life. You can’t expect me to be happy while I’m locked up inside that house all the time. There is no escape. It’s terrible. I feel like the only thing missing are the handcuffs and the steel bars.” I explained. “I was on the edge of breaking when Josh came into my life, and you guys have him to thank for the reason I’m still here.”

“What are you saying?” Tears welled up in his eyes.

“I’m saying that I’d rather have angel wings, than be a caged bird that can’t fly.”

He pulled me across the console of the car, and wrapped me in his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He pleaded as he held tightly. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll try to make him understand. I promise.”

I couldn’t speak, because the words were strangled with tears. I just hugged him harder and hoped that it would work. I wanted them all in my life, and I wanted these feelings to go away.