Chapter Thirty One
Four days later
I bought a new phone and I text Nikki and my parents, giving them my new number and telling them I am fine. Here I am, a couple days after my heart was crushed, holed up in some random motel, lying down in bed feeling sorry for myself. I’m listening to Passenger-‘let her go’ on repeat on my iPod.
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go...
I know I am going to have to go back and face him. All my things are there. But I needed time to think. It’s not just me to think about anymore. I glance down at my stomach. I have to think of my baby.
My period had been a week late, but that wasn’t too unusual for me. So I waited an extra week before I started to worry. The day I saw Chase kissing Aubrey, I had just done a pregnancy test that morning. It was positive. And Aubrey had perfect timing. I was already feeling vulnerable before she sprung all that on me. Chase doesn’t have my new phone number, but he’s been emailing me nonstop. I haven’t read any of them. My phone rings with Nikki’s ring tone ‘About a girl’ by Nirvana.
******
Chase
Nikki is standing in my kitchen, surrounded by myself, Kade and James. We are all staring at her, as she dials Layla’s number. She hands me over the phone, and my hand is shaking. It took about an hour or two of convincing her to do this, as she felt like she was betraying Layla. Layla had only given her new number to her parents and Nikki, no one else. We convinced her that Layla was over reacting, and that she needs to get her ass home. Kade pulled her into the room and had a chat with her, and she somehow relented. Fuck, I needed my woman home. I was over this shit. I’m fucking miserable without her. I explained to Nikki about the kiss. Aubrey is pulling out all the stops to keep Layla away from me. Manipulative little bitch.
******
Layla
“Hey Nikki,” I greet tiredly.
“Layla, don’t hang up!” Chase says in a hard voice.
“Nikki’s so dead,” I say irritably.
“Layla, let me fucking explain. I deserve that at least. Which motel are you at? I’ll come and get you. Please, Layla,” he begs, hurt leaking through his voice.
“You don’t deserve anything, Chase. But don’t worry, I’m coming home tomorrow; I need to pick up my things. It would be considerate if you made sure you weren’t home.” I say bitterly.
I hear Chase growl, he wants to say so many things, but he’s scared I won’t come home tomorrow.
“Fine,” he hisses through what I imagine are clenched teeth.
I hang up.
******
I spend the morning throwing up. I haven’t told anyone about the baby yet. I feel guilty; Chase deserves to know, even if we aren’t together. I need to tell him today. I check out of the motel and drive home. It’s only about an hour away. I pull up and see all the car’s gone, except Chase’s car and motorcycle. I take a deep breath, and mentally prepare myself. I’m still sitting in the car when Chase walks out. He walks up to my car and opens my door and I take a good look at him. He looks exhausted. Probably the same way that I look. He puts his hand out to help me out, which I ignore and get out myself. Petty maybe, but if I need to keep my walls up and touching him won’t help me with that. He sighs at me, and pulls me towards him in a hug. A hug which I don’t return.
“I missed you so much baby,” he whispers in my ear. I pull away, and walk towards the door. We walk inside, side by side, but miles apart at the same time. Once we’re inside, I head to my bedroom and start pulling my clothes out of my cupboard. Chase stands behind me, so close I can almost feel his body heat. The air is thick, heavy.
“Layla, stop.” He says in a tortured voice.
I don’t, I continue to angrily grab my clothes, throwing them on my bed. Chase gently grabs my hand, stopping me from moving. “Layla, stop. Please.” His voice is almost a whisper.
I pull my arm away from him and step back. “You kissed her!” I yell suddenly, causing him to flinch. “What else did you do with her?” The intensity in my voice surprises even me.
“Nothing. I did nothing with her, Layla. Listen to me!” He sounds so frustrated, and a little defeated.
“I saw you, Chase! Don’t even try to lie! I deserve more than that!”
Chase walks over and puts his hands on my shoulders. “And I deserve you giving me a chance to explain.”
His warm breath fans my cheek, and it hurts so much to have him this close to me. I used to look down on women who forgave their men for cheating, but I would love nothing more than to forget this ever happened. If only it were that easy.
Chase takes a seat on my bed, and pulls me next to him. “Aubrey showed up, invited and unexpected. She kissed me. Which is when you would have walked in. Baby, I pushed her away instantly. Why would I want her? All I can see is you, Layla.”
I take a shaky breath, considering his words. I look at him, and for the first time, notice his lip is cut and swollen. Looks like Kade had a ‘talk’ with him after all. I don’t like that he was hurt, I find it brings me no satisfaction.
“You kept so much from me, Chase,” I whisper, my voice breaking.
“I tried to protect you, Layla... I know I’ve fucked up. A lot. I handled everything badly. Let me fix it, Layla. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” His voice is full on sincerity. “I’ll explain everything.. I’ll...”
“Chase, I need to say something first, okay?” I say, cutting him off. “It’s something you will probably be upset about, and I’m sorry, but it’s happened, and now...” I trail off. At first he seems hesitant for me to continue, looking worried, but then he nods encouragingly.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt.
His eyes widen, showing his surprise. He goes to talk, but I cut him off.
“I know I was on the pill, but it can still happen and...” I swallow. “I know this is not something you want, and if you don’t want anything to do with the baby, that’s okay, I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything. I mean, if you do want to be in his or her life, then we could work out some kind of visiting,” I ramble.
Chase’s eyes narrow and his eyes harden. A muscle ticks in his jaw and I can tell he’s mad.
“You think that I wouldn’t want anything to do with my own child? My son or daughter?” His voice is calm, but I can hear the rage and hurt laced within it.
“Considering you said you didn’t want any children after..” He cuts me off.
“Am I not entitled to change my mind about something I said, recklessly, when I was still grieving?” he says, affronted.
“Of course you are, Chase, but..”
“How long have you known, Layla?” he demands.
Trying not to cower at the intensity of his voice, I say “Since the day I saw you kissing Aubrey.”
“You ran off; by yourself knowing that you were carrying my baby? It wasn’t safe, Layla!” he snaps.
Now I was getting angry.
“Well excuse me for getting upset seeing the love of my life kissing his ex-girlfriend, after he didn’t come home the night before and completely shut me out!” I yell. I stand up and start pacing. “And how was it not safe? I’m an adult. I can take care of myself!”
Chase’s eyes soften at my outburst. “Baby, this is all my fucking fault, I should have just told you...” he sighs. “ I went out with Aubrey that morning because we went to the cemetery to bring Lilly flowers. When I got home, I was still out of sorts, and I ignored you. I fucked up, Layla. I’ve never had anyone, a woman like you, to share those things with. I just went to my apartment, had a few drinks and fell asleep that night. Then Aubrey showed up at my office and kissed me. I pushed her away, and kicked her ass out. Fuck, I know it looks bad, but how could I ever want anyone but you? You are my everything, Layla, I never thought in a million years I would be so blessed to find someone who is perfect like you are.”
“I’m not perfect.” I mumble.
“Maybe so, but you’re fucking perfect for me, baby,” he says meaningfully, staring into my eyes. He walks over to where I’m standing and gets down on his knees, lifting up my tank top. He places a soft kiss on the middle of my stomach.
“I love you. And I love our baby.” He rumbles against my stomach. He looks up into my eyes, and I can see his happiness, his wonder. But also his anxiety.
“I’m healthy, and the baby will be fine.” I assure him.
“I’m going to be a bit over protective, Layla, you’re going to have to deal with it.” He gives me a small grin, and then kisses my tummy again.
“Daddy loves you, little one. So, so much.” He almost whispers, his voice so tender it brings tears to my eyes. He glances up at me again. “Don’t cry, love.” He says.
“I love you, Chase.” He gives me the most beautiful smile ever.
“About time.”
I giggle through my tears. He stands up and pulls me in for a deep, long kiss.
******
Much to Chase’s dismay, I decide to spend the night at Nikki’s. I want a little time to think, to recuperate. I had twenty missed calls from her and a million texts, apologizing. I decided to drop by and put her out of her misery. I walk into her room and find her sitting cross legged on her pink sheets. She jumps up when she sees me.
“Layla? OMG I’m sorry I gave him your number! But I heard his side and I realized you were being stupid and..”
“It’s okay, Nikki, I forgive you.”
She eyes my bag, “Yes! You’re staying the night?”
I grin, “Sure am, just like old times.”
“Did you guys make up?” she asks inquisitively.
“Yes, but we still have a lot to work out,” I say truthfully.
“I’ll bet, come on, let’s have a girls night in. Movies and junk food,” she suggests.
“Sounds wonderful.” It is just what I need after a drama filled few days.
“What do you want to watch?” Nikki asks, pulling out all her DVDs.
“Let’s start with Love and Basketball,” I suggest, grinning.
“Good choice.” She cooks some popcorn and we both change into our pajamas. Snuggling together on the couch, we commence with our bonding.
******
I drive home the next day, and see that Chase is the only one home. He greets me at the door, giving me a tight hug and a long deep kiss. “Thank fuck you came home,” he says, relieved.
“You thought I wouldn’t?” I ask, surprised.
“I was worried.. Fuck I needed you last night Layla. I wish you had stayed,” he admits.
“I’m sorry Chase. I just needed a little time.”
“I know, and although it nearly killed me, I gave you that play. But your time is over, Layla. If you need to think, you do it near me, with me. No more of that shit. I went through hell last night, I was pacing up and down, trying to stop myself from dragging you home where you belong!” he growls heatedly.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice fragile.
“I’m done restraining myself because I’m scared that you will run off, Layla!” He hisses, pulling me in for a greedy kiss. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He kisses me passionately, walking with me in his arms, until we get to the living area. He sits down with me still wrapped around him, so I’m straddling his lap. Breaking our kiss, he pulls my top and bra off, leaving me naked from the waist up. I watch his gaze admire my breasts, before he suckles on them gently, causing me to moan. Slowly, he runs his hands up, from my knees, making a trail, until he is lifting up my skirt so it sits on my hips. He is now leaving hot, wet kisses on my neck before he leans me back so he can undo his jeans. His eyes are on mine as he unzips them, pulling them down as far as they can go, without me having to move off him. I moan when I see him, aroused and ready, and he pulls me close to him again, his lips fusing to mine. His kisses are hot, needy and hungry. Possessive. I lift his T shirt off, pulling it over his head. I glance down at his chest and gasp at what I see. I place my hand over his heart, where he has the word ‘Layla’ is tattooed in a beautiful font.
“Chase?” I whisper reverently.
“Do you like it?” he asks, his husky tone deep.
“I love it,” I tell him, placing a kiss over each letter of my name. I hear a guttural moan as he rips my flimsy underwear off me in impatience, tearing away the last barrier between us.
He grinds me against his arousal, until I’m whimpering with need. “Ride me, Layla.” He demands, his eyes looking wild. He slides into me, and my whimpers turn to moans. “That’s it baby, just like that,” he encourages, as I move my hips up and down in smooth movements. I seize his face in my palms, and fuse my lips to his, kissing him uninhibitedly. He catches my moans of release with his mouth, as I shatter into a million pieces. Chase grips my hips, raising his into mine, pounding into me with quick strokes, until I feel his body shake with his release. We are both panting, and hanging on to each other. Chase pushes away the strands of hair that have fallen onto my face. “I love you Layla,” he whispers, full of emotion.
“I love you too Chase.” I look around. “We just had sex in the living area where we all sit.”
Chase chuckles. “I’m pretty sure we’re not the first ones, baby.” I scrunch up my nose at the thought. We snuggle for a moment before I go to the bath room to clean up. I then walk into my room to find it cleared out, empty. Am I being kicked out?
“Ummm Chase?” I call out.
I can hear him chuckle.
“Come on, baby, we’re going for a drive,” he calls out. I walk out, curious, and allow him to lead me to his car. He glares at the motorcycle on the way out and mumbles, “No more motorcycle for you.” I roll my eyes. We drive to his apartment building, and I give him a suspicious look, getting a wicked grin in return.
“Chase, you didn’t?” I drawl.
Instead of answering, he just gives me a sly grin.
“Chase?”
He opens the car door and helps me get out.
“Chase, it’s not really necessary to...”
“Get used to it, Layla.” He demands through a smile.
We walk into his apartment, and the first thing I see is that it has been refurnished. Eyes wide I look around, and it looks really good. Chase takes me into his bedroom and that’s when I see all my stuff. Already unpacked. In his room.
“Did you... move me into your apartment?” I ask, still in shock.
“I did, perfect idea don’t you think?” He looks pretty happy with himself.
I narrow my eyes at him. “And if I don’t want to live here? I quite like living with your brothers, you know.” I glance up at him innocently, baiting him.
But he just gives me a grin, dimple in full effect, and says “Challenge accepted.”
I roll my eyes. Then I grab my man and take him to bed.
******
I’m sitting in bed, cross legged, reading my kindle.
“Is this a new bed?” I ask Chase curiously.
“Yes, why?”
“Just asking,” I mused.
Chase glances up at me, from his prone position on the bed, and raises a brow in question.
“Just wondering if you’ve had any women in his bed,” I mumble.
The humor in Chase’s eyes dims. “Layla..” he starts.
“Never mind,” I try to back track, avoiding eye contact with him.
“Layla, look at me,” he demands. I slowly raise my eyes to his. He meets my gaze and takes my kindle and puts it down, and pulls me closer to him.
“There has been no other woman in this apartment, except you,” he says softly, brushing his nose with mine. He skims the line of my jaw with his mouth, placing soft butterfly kisses.
“So don’t worry about those things any more, okay, baby, cos I’m all yours, forever,” he whispers in my ear.
He puts his hand on my stomach. “This is the start of our family, and I couldn’t be happier. I couldn’t be prouder, and I couldn’t possibly love anyone more than I love you, and our child.”
I begin to tear up, damn hormones. Chase chuckles. I elbow him.
We snuggle together for a little while, him stroking my hair.
“I’m getting better at these little speeches aren’t I?” he says, now amused. I narrow my eyes at him, and he gives me a roguish smile. “So when are you going to marry me,” he asks suddenly.
“Was that meant to be a proposal?” I ask, instantly offended, searching his eyes for any indication that he was serious.
He gives me a crooked grin.
“You don’t have to propose just because you knocked me up,” I say bluntly.
“Please don’t tell you’re serious?” he says in an odd tone.
I shrug.
His eyes narrow to slits. “Well, fuck,” he says under his breath.
He reaches into the top drawer of the side table and pulls out an elegant black box. He opens it and a gorgeous princess cut white gold ring stares up at me. It’s beautiful. I gasp.
“Layla, I love you, everything about you. I always have and I always will. From the moment I saw you, I knew that no one would ever compare to you. Would you please do me the honor of being my wife?” he asks tenderly, his eyes hungry on mine.
“Yes,” I whisper, getting teary eyed yet again. He puts the ring on my finger, and it fits perfectly. Just like us.
“By the way, I bought that ring for you a long time ago. Before I knew that we were having a baby. I’ll always take care of you baby, we were born to love each other,” he pulls me in for a long greedy kiss.
******
It’s my first doctor’s appointment. Chase is right next to me, looking in awe at the little dot on the monitor. “She’s beautiful,” he whispers reverently. He is sure it is a little girl.
I laugh, which earns me a scowl. “Seriously Chase, I can’t even see anything,” I complain again. The doctor shows me for the third time and I nod and smile. I still don’t see him or her. I feel like Rachel on friends right now. I go home with a little ultrasound picture, and a very proud daddy. Chase is literally beaming, and it makes me so happy to see. I don’t know how I could have ever thought he wouldn’t want this child. I feel stupid in retrospect. Chase sticks the photo on the fridge, causing me to giggle.
“What?” he asks a slight trace of a smile on his lips.
“Aren’t you all domestic?” I tease.
“Why, because I stuck the photo on the fridge?”
I nod. I stare at him thoughtful, my eyebrows drawn.
“What is it angel?” he asks as he takes in my expression.
“I was just thinking,” I stare at the fridge, “soon it’s going to be artwork on the fridge.” I turn to him and smile, coming closer so we are nose to nose.
“Have I told you that I love you today?” he whispers.
“Yes, but I never get sick of hearing it,” I reply.
He kisses me then, deeply, sensually. He pulls back, stares into my eyes and says, “I love you, my life.”
I kiss him this time, hungrily, greedily. “I love you too. Now take me to bed.”
He does.