CHAPTER ELEVEN
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JAMES
“Fuck me,” she said in barely a whisper, low enough for her parents not to hear her.
I couldn’t help but smile. She hadn’t changed since last time I saw her.
She blushed.
“Right, we’ll leave you kids to it.” Emma’s dad held his hand out for his wife and asked, “Anne, should we take the dog for a walk?”
Anne nodded. “But after you wash your hands.”
After they had left the room, Emma’s gaze wavered, landing on her feet.
“You heard that, right?”
Nodding, I smiled and replied, “Yep, I did indeed. I’ll be happy to oblige if need be.”
“Ha! That’s priceless, James. The first time I hear from or see you in seven years, and that’s what you have to say?”
She turned and flicked the kettle on. Standing on her tiptoes, she collected two cups from the cupboard. Her T-shirt rode up, revealing the soft curve of her hips.
“Tea or coffee?” she asked.
“Coffee, please. Emma… I—”
I couldn’t finish. She stepped closer to me, her eyes blazing with anger.
“Emma, what? You left, James. You didn’t answer my calls, my letters… nothing. And now, you show up here like nothing happened. How am I meant to react? Am I meant to bow in your presence like all the other twats out there?”
She kept rambling on. I couldn’t hear what she was saying. All I could think of was how cute she looked all riled up. I must have been smiling, because her little hand shoved at my chest.
“What’s funny?”
“You,” I answered, holding her wrist so she wouldn’t walk away.
“Fuck off, James!” she shouted, pushing me harder. At least, she tried.
“Such a potty mouth, Emma,” I tutted, getting her even more worked up.
“Arghhh! I give up,” she grumbled, waving her hands and storming out of the room.
There weren’t many places in her house where she could hide, and I knew exactly where she would be.
Sitting down beside her on the steps in front of the garden, I whispered in her ear, “You know you can’t stay mad at me for long. In my defence, you’re the one who left my room without a word.”
I didn’t have to see the goosebumps rising on her skin to know they were spreading like wildfire.
The seconds passed as we both stared at nothing in particular. The silence felt uncomfortable, and I hated the regret that prickled my skin. I hated her silence and the look of hurt she gave me. Did she not think the move hurt me too? Finally my wish had come true the night I got to kiss her. The kiss we’d shared was what I’d dreamed of for years. But in less than a few minutes, the barrier of friendship got blurred and all the years we’d had as friends evaporated. How could I tell her that I’d tried to speak to her, to call her and tell her how much I cared, how much I missed her? But the mere thought of rejection had stopped me. I couldn’t bear for her to say no; it was just easier to put it behind me and move forward.
“Don’t you think I remember? But I thought, or hoped, that you would come back,” she said, this time looking straight at me.
I smiled, trying to make a joke out of it.
“I did. I’m right here.”
“It’s been seven years, James.”
“I was fifteen, Emma. By law I had to follow my parents. I was a minor. What did you want me to do?”
“I don’t know. Come back? Keep in touch? I don’t know. Maybe I just missed you.”
She sniffed and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.
I draped my arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. Resting my cheek on her hair, I muttered low enough for only her to hear, “I missed you too.”
“How long are you staying for?” she asked, moving slightly to look up at me.
The sky darkened and the temperature dropped. In just a few minutes, we would have to go inside.
“I’m not sure. For a couple of days. Enough to catch up with what I’ve missed.”
She smiled and nodded. “How’re your parents?”
“My mum’s fine, living in a condo in California.”
I knew it was coming. She would be asking about my dad, but I still couldn’t face it. The pain was still too raw.
“And your dad?”
I tried to think of an excuse not to answer, a change of subject. But I knew she would find out sooner or later.
“He died of cancer five years ago.”
I didn’t want the pity people gave me when they knew. It didn’t make me feel better and created an even more awkward moment than it already was.
Emma knew this. She stayed silent and snuggled closer to me, giving me a few minutes to compose myself, and then looked at me again. This time her eyes watered, but I couldn’t see any pity in them, just sadness. She smiled while brushing a bit of hair off my face. The simple, intimate gesture left my skin tingling.
“Condo?” she asked. “Did you think I was going to miss that? You’ve completely lost your accent and the lingo.”
I was about to say that I could still fake it, but got interrupted by her phone.
Was it her boyfriend calling to check up on her? A sudden pang of jealousy made me breathless. Why should I care? Besides, she was gorgeous. It was a given that men would be queuing at her door to see her.
Where did that come from? I had to stop thinking like that. Emma wasn’t a chew toy I could play with and then spit out. She deserved much better than that.
She pulled out a prehistoric looking thing and checked the caller ID, and she smiled. Yes, it had to be a boyfriend.
“Sorry, James, I kind of need to take this.”
She walked further into the garden, her cardigan wrapped tightly around her to shield her from the frosty air. I couldn’t hear the exact words of the conversation, but I could hear her laugh and it tore me apart that it wasn’t me who initiated it.
Why, after so many years, did I still feel this way?
“Sorry about that. My flatmate was asking me to bring some wine and if I was going to get home anytime soon.” She giggled and sat back down beside me.
Her flatmate, not her boyfriend. The relief became lighter as a cloud of confusion surrounded me. “If you want, I can ask Ralph to go and get a bottle, and we’ll drive down to yours,” I said, needing, more than air, to spend more time with her.
“Ralph?”
“Yes, shit. I haven’t mentioned him, have I? He’s like my right-hand man. Not my assistant, though. She’s in London….” I started babbling, trying to fix my mess. But I didn’t want Emma to think I was a nuisance.
“Where is he just now?” she asked.
“In the car, waiting for me.”
I knew by the way she was looking at me, with her eyebrows furrowed together and her hands fixed on her hips, that she didn’t like my answer.
“What? You left him in the car? How could you do that?” she said, storming to the front door.
I followed, hot on her heels, until she arrived at the rental car parked right outside the house. She knocked on the window, and Ralph appeared, still wearing sunglasses.
“Hello,” he said, looking at both of us with an amused smile.
“Do you want to come inside? You must be freezing here. By the way, I’m Emma. Although I bet you knew that already.”
Ralph’s gaze fell on me. I nodded, and he opened the door and agreed.
“Would you like some tea or coffee?” Emma asked as she rummaged inside the cupboards for another cup.
Again, he checked with me before answering.
“Coffee, please,” he replied.
Emma flicked the kettle on and took some more biscuits to the table.
“Have a seat,” she ordered, pointing towards it. “If I’d known you were outside all this time, I would’ve invited you in.”
As her back was turned, Ralph smirked at me, lifting a single eyebrow. I shrugged, not knowing how to answer his silent question. His body shook with a quiet chuckle.
Her phone chirped once again, vibrating against the wooden table. She picked it up and read the message.
Looking straight at me, she said, “James, there’re people standing outside my flat.”