Chapter 32
I woke up Christmas morning and opened my computer. I’d made Javier promise to ‘face time’ with me so I could watch Javi open his gifts. I put in his number and waited for him to answer.
“Merry Christmas,” Javier said when he answered.
“Merry Christmas. Is he up?”
“Yes, can you hear him screeching?” Javier asked and he turned the computer so I could see Javi tearing through paper and opening gifts. He saw me on the computer and ran up.
“Look at what Santa got me, Kayla!” He held up his Optimus Prime and a remote control truck.
“Wow, Javi, you must have been a good boy all year.”
“Yep.”
I heard Javier tell him to look outside. Javi ran to the French doors. Outside, there stood an enormous playground set complete with a fort, rope ladder, swings, and a spiral slide. He stared at it. His mouth opened and I laughed watching him. My sister walked in the guest-room and saw me on the computer.
“Merry Christmas. What are you doing?”
“Watching Javi open presents.”
Dawn crawled into bed next to me and we watched the little boy run out and climb the rope ladder to the top and go inside the fort. We both laughed and Javier turned the computer back around to see me.
“Oh, hi Dawn. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas. It looks like Javi made out well.”
“That’s an understatement. Santa’s helper is extravagant.”
“I’ve heard that about her.” Dawn said laughing.
“Did he open the Hot-Wheels?” I asked.
“You mean these?” He turned the computer around.
I saw the cars all lined up. “Aw, he liked them?”
“He most definitely liked them.”
“Who else is there?”
“Nana and Tata are with us. We'll head to Nogales later.”
“Does Javi have to go into Mexico? Are you staying with him when he is down there?”
“I’ll let him stay the night with Cecilia. Don't worry. I'll put my uncle’s security on the house. She won’t be able to go far with him.”
“Okay, if you’re sure it’s safe.”
Javier smiled at me. “I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to him.”
“I’ll hold you to that. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
“Oh God, should I leave? You two aren’t going to have cyber-sex or anything, are you?” Dawn chimed in.
“It’s not a bad idea,” Javier said. “Can you step out?”
We all laughed and Dawn said, “I am so out of here. Talk to you later, Javier.”
“Bye.” After she left the guest-room, he said, “Was it something I said?”
I laughed. “Well, that is something we’ve never done.”
“I’d rather wait and have you for real.”
“Me too.”
“You’re coming home New Year’s Day, right?”
“Right.”
“What are your plans for today?”
“The usual holiday festivities. Open gifts, hang out with family, eat.”
“Sounds like fun. I'll call you later.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
I closed the computer. I just wanted to leave and go back home to Phoenix. Hopefully next year, we’d be together for the holidays.
I went downstairs and had breakfast with my sister and Bradley. We were going to Bradley’s parents’ house since my sister and Bradley had spent Christmas Eve with my parents already. Thankfully, I arrived late and had an excuse to skip seeing them.
After I showered and dressed, my sister came and found me sitting by the Christmas tree thinking about my boys.
“Hey, girl.”
I looked up and smiled at her. “Hey. Are you guys ready to go?”
“Almost. I need to tell you something.”
“That doesn’t sound like a happy thing.”
“Well, I don’t want you to get mad.”
“Now, I really don’t want to know.”
“Mom and Dad are coming with us to Bradley’s parents’ home.”
“What? Why?”
“Because they want to spend Christmas with us.”
“Dawn, you promised not to do this. I should have come after Christmas.”
“You need to face Dad at some point and I didn’t arrange this.”
“Well, does it have to be on Christmas?”
She cringed. “I’m sorry. What was I going to say?”
“How about ‘no’?”
“Kayla, please. Will you try to get through today without making a scene?”
“Do I have a choice?”
The doorbell rang and I knew I had my answer. Dawn got up to answer the door. I heard my parents wishing Dawn and Bradley a Merry Christmas. I continued to sit and ignore all their voices.
A few minutes later, my mom walked in. She walked over and hugged me. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”
I hugged her back, a fast sideways one, but she pretended not to notice how light it was and how quick, but I didn’t speak.
She sat down on the couch next to me. “A penny for your thoughts?”
“I'm just thinking about my boys.”
“Your boys?”
“Javier and Javi.”
“Who’s Javi?”
So, Dawn didn’t tell her everything. “Javier's son.”
“I see. Is he, I mean, was he married?”
“He used to be, but not anymore.”
“I see.”
“Will they be coming to the wedding?”
“No. I didn’t think it’d be a good idea.”
“Well, I’d like to meet Javi sometime.”
“We’ll see.” I sat quietly. I had nothing more to say, not to her and definitely not to my father when I saw him. This whole set-up reeked. I probably shouldn’t blame Dawn for backing down, but Christmas or not, I wanted to scream at her for pretending nothing ever happened. For not standing up for me when I needed it most
“Shall we get going?” Mom asked softly.
I stood and waited for her to take the lead. I held my breath as I followed her toward the door. I ignored my dad as we all walked out. He looked at me, but didn’t say anything either.
I got into the car with Dawn and Bradley. My parents drove their own car. When we arrived, I was thankful to see several people. I wasn’t engaging in civil conversation with my parents.
A few hours later, I made my way out to the quiet front yard so I could call Javier. Before I tried his number, I heard my dad behind me.
“Kayla?”
I froze, not wanting to turn around. Not wanting to face him. Not wanting to rage at him on Christmas, although he’d wrecked my life just after New Year’s. Obviously, the holidays meant nothing to him.
“Kayla, please talk to me.”
I stood silent for a moment, but I shook my head. “No. I have nothing to say to you.”
“I’m sorry, Kayla. I’m sorry I didn’t think your feelings for Javier were real at such a young age. I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“I don’t believe you. Save your lies and your bigoted opinions for your next girlfriend. I’m your child. You of all people should have cared about me the most. You were so filled with hate and self-denial about your own unhappiness you couldn’t accept that I had found true bliss. What kind of a father does that?”
He turned and walked away, snow crunching under his shoes. I decided to wait to call Javier. He’d hear the distress in my voice and I didn’t want that. I stood there and let the cold air hit my face.
When I had my own children, I wouldn’t be like my father. I’d find a better way to raise my kids. I realized I assumed I was going to have children. I wondered what the future held in store for me and then my phone rang, startling me out of my daydream. “Hello?”
“Hey, darlin’. What are you doing?”
“Nothing. What are you doing?”
“I'm at my mom’s. I can’t sleep without Javi here with me.”
“I can’t sleep without either one of you. When does our boy come home?”
“Tomorrow. What’s the matter?”
“I miss you guys.”
“Miss you too.”
“Are you heading back to Phoenix tomorrow?”
“No, I'm going to stay a few days with my parents. They miss Javi.”
“That will be nice.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“My dad is here.”
Javier was silent.
“He apologized and I didn’t believe him so I didn’t forgive him.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? He was horrible to you.”
“I know, but he’s still your father.”
“It’s going to take more than an apology.”
“Well, get some rest. Helping your sister get ready for the wedding will make the rest of the week fly.”
I sighed, not knowing what else to say. “I’m sure you’re right.”
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“I love you most.”