Chapter 17
Six Years Later
My alarm went off and I rolled over and hit snooze for the second time. I smelled coffee brewing and decided to get up. Walking through my Scottsdale condo, I made my way to the coffee pot. I poured myself a cup, added creamer and shuffled back to my room to pick out an outfit for today.
I decided on a red pencil skirt and a black fitted button-up shirt. The Phoenix heat was still unbearable in August, but black fit my mood. It must be time to see the shrink again. I dragged myself to the shower, putting the water on hot before stepping under the spray.
The water ran over me as I admired my fabulous bathroom. I’d designed this place as my first project after being hired by Studio G. The bathroom was bigger than most bedrooms with granite counters, raised glass sinks, a dual glass shower, and separate whirlpool tub with a small gas fireplace that could be seen from the bedroom and the tub.
The bedroom had white shag carpet and contemporary black lacquer furniture. Black and white, it really spelled out my psyche. I had stainless steel appliances and granite countertops in the kitchen, black leather furniture against white marble floors in the living room, a plasma television mounted on the wall, theater surround sound – the works.
Since I’d graduated two years ago, I immersed myself in work, designing residential homes and large businesses. I’d worked my way up the corporate ladder with Studio G, the top interior design studio in the city. I was the youngest lead they’d ever had. I’d set my sights on making partner in the next five years.
I finished getting ready. I applied makeup and curled my long honey hair in big flowing curls. I put on black sling-back heels and grabbed my briefcase. I took the elevator down to the parking garage and made my way to my black, five-series BMW, the first thing I’d bought when I secured a job after graduation.
No more riding the bus. I pulled out of the garage and fought the Phoenix traffic until I arrived at Studio G thirty minutes later. I parked in my designated spot and made my way to the office, setting my briefcase on my desk.
“Good morning, Sunshine.” My assistant, Rafael walked in and handed me another cup of coffee just the way I liked it. He was one of the strongest members of my design team, half-Mexican and half-Filipino with a flair for bright and colorful clothes. His partner, Antonio, a fashion designer worked at the Biltmore. They were my only real friends and I cherished them.
“Good morning, Rafael. How was your weekend?”
“Fabulous. Antonio and I went to a wine-tasting event at the lovely W Hotel. The rooms are to die for. How about you, honey? How was your weekend?”
“Peaceful. Quiet.”
Rafael looked at me for a long moment and then sat down in the chair in front of my desk. “Honey, you need to get laid in a bad way.”
I almost spit out my coffee. “What? Why do you say that?”
“Look at you. You’re beautiful, smart, successful, but no fun. When is the last time you had fun? Real fun.”
“I have fun. I went to ASU for God’s sake. That school is all about fun.”
“The school is fun, but you aren’t.”
I sat thinking about that for a moment. The years passed without Javier and all I remembered was trying to survive, trying to pretend I’d be okay.
“When’s the last time you had sex?”
“That is none of your business.”
Rafael raised an eyebrow. “It’s been that long?”
“Rafael, I have a shrink, thank you. Let’s get to work.”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine, if you insist.” He handed me a folder. “We have a new client, JVF Automotive. They’re building a car showroom to house some of the most expensive cars in Phoenix. Security is a high priority. They need two executive suites, fifteen pods for sales associates and five offices for the finance people. The back of the building will have the body shop and automotive repair.”
I read through the information. “Who’s the architect on this project?”
“Steven Holt with HWP Architecture.”
I looked up at Rafael. “Steven Holt?”
“Yes. Why? Do you know him?”
“If it’s the same person, yes. We met in college.”
“Oh, do tell! This is your ticket to the release you so desperately need.”
“You have a one-track mind, Rafael. How many cars will be in the showroom at a time?”
“It doesn’t say, but I’ll find out and get back to you.”
“When do they need the proposal?”
“I’ll find that out as well.” Rafael jumped up and left my office.
Steven Holt. He definitely was a distant memory I hadn’t visited in ages. Steven was the first person that I’d dated after Javier’s death. We had some classes together when I was a junior in college and he was a senior. We’d started meeting for coffee and then worked on a class project together. After several months of friendly conversation and study dates I gave in and went to dinner with him. The night ended at his place and I tried not to cry when we had sex.
He was the only man I’d been with besides Javier and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I faked my interest in Steven for six months before I called it off. I just couldn’t do it anymore. It didn’t matter how many times I slept with him or tried to love him, it wasn’t going to happen.
My heart was dead inside. All the years of counseling and therapy had gotten me nowhere. I’d never heard from Veronica, or my friends after the accident. Nobody called or visited me in the hospital. They must have blamed me for what happened to Javier. I was the one who’d wanted to spend the holiday break together and he’d just wanted to make me happy.
I hadn’t visited Javier’s grave because I didn’t have a car back then. I didn’t know if he was even buried in the States or Mexico. My dad went crazy after the accident. He sent Dawn to boarding school, and took away all our phones and computers.
The only access I had on the new laptop he gave me was school-approved, webpages. He had everything else fire-walled by his crony at work, Bob. My mom went back to Harrisburg to be with Dawn after I successfully completed two months of in-patient physical therapy in the rehab center. I finished high school online and never returned to Nogales. My dad secured an apartment in Phoenix close to where I needed to get my outpatient physical therapy, and he transferred back East to be with my mom as soon as he had me enrolled at ASU.
He’d told me that I needed to do what he said, when he said it, or he’d stop paying for school and I’d be on my own. I worked hard trying to finish my degree as soon as possible in order to escape from him. Both my parents made it clear I’d disappointed them past the point of return and even Dawn turned against me.
My dad couldn’t accept that I’d had a relationship with someone who wasn’t Caucasian. I don’t think I ever really realized before my relationship with Javier how prejudiced my parents were. I’m sure they read between the lines and assumed I was intimately involved with Javier and it was just unacceptable. I was an embarrassment to them. I hoped Dawn wasn’t racially motivated like my parents, but my dad’s treatment of her because of my mistakes made her avoid me.
I turned my focus to the new project on my desk. Time to start sketching how this will look. I’d research what kind of space was needed to show cars. Office space was a breeze for me, but a car showroom was a new challenge. Since I’d be working with Steven Holt again, I definitely wanted to impress him, didn’t I?