Resting my head against the tree behind me, I ran my fingers up and down the column of his neck. He looked like he was telling the truth. He turned his head and pressed a kiss against my wrist. Tingles shot up my arm, making me shiver.

“Will you come home with me?” He asked, tucking some loose strands behind my ears. “Maybe we can talk some more?”

I nodded my head. “That would be nice.”

He unwrapped my legs, lowering me to the ground. Taking my hand, we silently walked back to his house and headed up to his room. He sat me on the bed before sliding his computer chair over and sitting opposite me. He parted his legs, putting them on either side of mine and taking my hands, resting them on my thighs.

“Can we talk about something else?” He looked at me cautiously.

I frowned, wondering what he would have to be cautious about. I nodded, trying to give him a smile.

“Can I ask...” He straightened up, looking uncomfortable before taking a deep breath. “Is there a reason why you pull away from me? Sexually?”

With that one word, I froze. I tucked my knees up on the bed and shimmied back so that I was leaning against his headboard.

He frowned at me, probably thinking I was putting distance between us but I wasn’t. I just needed...

Fuck, he was right.

I needed some distance if he wanted to have this conversation now.

“When I was fourteen, I got into a little trouble.” I stared at his doorway, not able to handle looking at him at the same time. “I was out with some friends and my mom was supposed to pick me up, like she did every night.” I smiled at the memory of her, still missing her vanilla scent. I shook my head, trying to clear it. “Anyway, one night she never came. I was waiting and there was still no sign of her.” My eyes watered and I quickly wiped them, determined not to get emotional. “A police car with flashing lights pulled up and took me home. I asked where my mom was, and they told me that my father would explain when I got home.”

Johnny leaned over, taking hold of my hand. I entwined my fingers with his, appreciating the comfort he was offering me.

“I got home, and my mom wasn’t there. My dad explained to me that she had left home at the normal time but...” I was trying to stay calm—to recite the facts to Johnny the best way I could—but, I couldn’t. She was my mom and she was more than just a fact. “She had been raped and beaten. Her car had broken down and she was walking to meet me.” I held my breath, trying to keep the building sob in. I didn’t want to break down in front of Johnny. “She had several knife wounds and died before the ambulance arrived.” I sobbed, holding my hand over my mouth to try and keep the noise at a minimum. It didn’t work, however. Seconds later, I was sobbing into my knees like a pathetic, dramatic mess.

I felt Johnny move toward me and pick me up. He sat on the end of the bed, placing me on his lap. I didn’t hesitate in wrapping my arms around his neck and sobbed into his chest. I expected him to push me away when I told him about my mother’s death, or just leave me alone. He never did. He rocked me gently, rubbing my back soothingly and pressing soft kisses to the top of my head.

I don’t know how long I stayed sitting on his lap, cuddled in his strong arms with my head resting on his chest. I looked at his shirt, rubbing the wet patch I had left on it.

“You have ruined my shirt,” he joked, looking down at where I was rubbing.

I giggled, resting my head back in its place on his chest.

“So,” he started, sounding nervous. “That’s why you’re afraid to be intimate with me.”

I nodded. “Ever since then, I’ve been skittish around boys. I’m good at being friends with them but sex...” I blew out a deep breath, “It scares me.”

“That’s understandable, Till.” He pressed another kiss to my forehead. “But you know I won’t hurt you. Right?”

I hated that he sounded so unsure. I hated that I was widening the crater that was between us, but I just couldn’t be like Lucy. I don’t think I could ever be as sexually confident as she appeared to be. I nodded, pulling my head away to look up at him. “I’m sorry.”

“You know I would never hurt you like that?” he asked. He had a look of warmth on his face.

I basked in it. I knew he would never hurt me. Trusting he would never hurt me was a different question, though. “I do.” I frowned, staring at his collarbones. “I just need to move slower than…”

“Than Lucy?” he asked, cocking his eyebrow at me.

I nodded. At least he knew what was making my insecurities worse.

“Just promise me, that if the time comes where you don’t want me—where you’d be happier with someone like Lucy—just tell me.” I threaded my fingers into the back of his hair, massaging his scalp. “Don’t string me along.”

He smirked, leaning his face closer to mine before standing abruptly, taking me with him and making me shriek. He turned around and dropped me on the bed, unceremoniously.

I giggled, bouncing a few times on the springs before he lay down next to me. He grinned, leaning his head down and moulding his lips to mine. I parted my lips, moving my tongue against his. I hummed at his taste, holding myself against him.

He pulled away, smiling down at me. “Does that feel like I would prefer to be with that brainless bimbo?” He cocked his eyebrow at me.

I shook my head, allowing him to pull me toward him. My head settled on his chest, feeling the pulse of his heartbeat through his chest. I sighed, feeling lighter than I had done in a long time.

I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes, we were still in our spots, but Johnny was holding a piece of paper in his hands, his eyes flicking over it.

“What’s that?” I whispered.

He smiled, dropping the paper on the floor, wrapping me in both of his arms. “Just some presentation pointers.” He smiled down at me. “I have to go and get ready for practice.”

I nodded, letting him go. He grabbed his bag and held his hand out for mine. I gave him a quick kiss before walking over to Joy’s. I took a seat next to her, laying my head in her lap. She slid her fingers into my hair and began smoothing my hair down. I closed my eyes, feeling relaxed.

“That feels nice,” I whispered. My mother used to do it when I was a little girl. I remember it used to relax me so much, I’d usually end up falling asleep.

“Johnny was here earlier,” she said. “Did he find you?”

I nodded, staring at the wall on the floor.

“Is everything okay, my sweet?”

I smiled, tearing up at her nickname for me.

“You didn’t seem very happy before you left for school.”

“I wasn’t.” I sat up, crossing my legs and facing her. “Johnny has a few... issues.” I opened my mouth to tell her more when the doorbell rang. I groaned, going to answer it.

“Bex!” I was surprised she was there. “Come in.”

She stepped over the threshold, walking straight past me and going in to the lounge. I chuckled when she took my spot next to Joy, grinning at me.

“Make yourself at home,” I mocked, taking a seat in the armchair.

She laughed, kicking her shoes off and tucking her legs beneath her ass.

“I’m Bex.” She held her hand out to Joy. “I’m Tillie’s bestie from school.”

“I like you.” Joy wrapped her arm around Bex, both laughing at the action.

“Johnny was looking for you,” Bex said, turning her head in my direction. “Did you guys have a chance to talk about the Lucy drama?”

I widened my eyes at her. I really did not want to have this conversation in front of Joy. Joy’s head flickered between Bex and me before Bex gave in and rolled her eyes.

She dug through her bag and grinned, pulling a bottle of wine out with a cheeky glint in her eye.

“I’ll get the glasses,” Joy chuckled, getting up and walking to the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” I widened my eyes at Bex, waiting for her to get the message.

“What?” She rolled her eyes at me. “I’m dying to know the goss.”

“Yeah but…” I stopped talking when Joy shuffled back into the room.

“Now, fill me in ladies.” She set the glasses on the table, taking the bottle off Bex and popping the cork. “What has that boy done?”

I laughed at her no-nonsense tone. I shuffled on my bum so that I was closer to the coffee table. Picking my glass up, I raised it and waited for them to clink their glasses to mine. Taking a sip, I hummed at how fruity it was.

“So, fill us in. What did the idiot do?” Bex asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

I rolled my eyes in response. The girl would not shut up. “Basically,” I said, my eyes turning to Joy, “pictures were plastered all over social media and in text messages of Lucy and Johnny together in his room last night.”

“Oh dear.” She had a disappointed look on her face.

“But…” I interjected, my eyes going to Bex. “It wasn’t true. She was in his room, but he threw her out.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Do you believe him?” Bex asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

“Yes.” I nodded my head. “I trust him. I think.”

Bex shrugged her shoulders dismissively.

“Who’s Lucy?” Joy asked.

“She’s a cheerleader bitch who thinks she owns the college. She probably thinks the most popular girl should obviously be with the most popular guy.” Bex rolled her eyes in disgust.

“He’s a good boy, though,” Joy interjected. “He’s a good one, especially to that brother of his.”

I smiled at the look of adoration she always wore on her face when talking about those boys.

* * *

A couple of hours later, I was lying on my back, laughing at the Simpsons impressions Bex was doing. This girl was a pro. She obviously loved the Simpsons a bit too much. She could do Ned Flanders perfectly, even when tipsy.

I turned to the side and grabbed my phone: six missed calls—all from Johnny.

There was a knock on the door and Joy quickly went to answer it, leaving me laughing at Bex’s Mr. Burns impression. She was going to make her future mister crazy.

“Hello, boys,” Joy greeted her visitors. “She’s right in there.”

I grinned when Johnny crossed her threshold, his eyes landing right on me. He was followed by Logan, who was wrapped in his coat and scarf and rubbing his hands together to ward off the chill. His eyes went to the three empty wine bottles on the coffee table before back to me with a smirk on his face.

Holy crap! When did we get through those? No wonder I was feeling all giggly.

“Hey, you.” Johnny stood over me, smiling down at me. “We had too much to drink?”

I shook my head, looking up at him. He leaned down, taking my hands in his and pulling me to my feet.

“I’m going to take off,” Bex said, getting to her feet, too. “Why don’t you let lover boy tuck you in?” She waggled her eyebrows mockingly. “And you,” she pointed at Logan, “can walk my drunken ass home.”

“After you, darling.” He gave me a cheeky wink before following Bex out of the door.

“Mind if I take her up?” Johnny asked, directing his question to Joy. He picked me up in his arms, walking past Joy.

“Of course not, sweet boy.” She stepped aside, watching him carry me up the stairs.

I waved at her, only now realizing how many glasses I’d had when I saw dual figures of Joy standing there. As we walked through my door, I tightened my arms around his neck. He leaned down, placing me on my bed.

I kept my arms around his shoulders, refusing to let go.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” He pressed his lips to mine in what I assumed was supposed to be only a short kiss.

“Don’t go yet.” I squeezed myself to him, not wanting to let go. I don’t know whether the alcohol was giving me more confidence or whether it was just me being open to feeling more. “Close the door,” I whispered against his lips.

“Joy is right downstairs,” he whispered, his eyes flicking to the doorway. “It’s late.”

“Not that late,” I whispered. I leaned up, pressing a kiss to his neck. “Stay.” I peeked my tongue out, sucking gently against his pulse point. “Just for a few minutes.”

He sighed, getting up and walking toward the door. He looked back at me, nibbling his bottom lip. He looked conflicted. Maybe he thought he would be taking advantage, but I wasn’t that drunk. He shut the door and walked back over to me. He joined me back on the bed, lying at my side.

“Kiss me,” I whispered.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. I gasped, parting my lips. He pressed himself closer to me. I pulled his shoulders so that he was closer but ended up with him choosing to lie over me. His palms traveled down over my ribs until he was cupping the cheeks of my ass.

I gasped, thrusting my chest out, causing him to groan at the contact. His hands slid down to the back of my thighs and pulled them up and wrapped them around his hips. I moaned at the closer contact, tearing my lips from his.

Fuck, I never knew I could feel like this.

I moaned, thrusting my hips against his gently. He groaned, dropping his head into my neck.

“Fuck, Tillie.” He pressed his lips back to mine before getting up and leaving me on the bed. “I will see you tomorrow.” He walked out, leaving me a quivering mess.

I got up, stripping out of my clothes and into my comfy pyjamas. Climbing back in, I rolled over when my phone lit up with a text message from Johnny.

I giggled at the threat. Locking my phone, I placed it on the bedside table, dozing off in minutes.

* * *

Walking to school the following morning, I cringed at the sunlight. Wine was the enemy. I saw Bex up ahead sitting on a wall with her sketchpad. Scrap that. Bex with wine was the enemy.

“Morning, sunshine,” she called to me, making me cringe. “Ooh, not doing so well this morning.”

“No.” I frowned at her, with a sulky pissed off expression on my face. “Because of you and your wine, I basically threw myself at Johnny last night.”

She tossed her head back, laughing. “And he turned you down? Damn, I’m liking him more and more every day.”

“So, what happened with Logan?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at her, mockingly. Taking my mini bottle of orange juice out of my bag, I twisted the cap, taking a sip.

She rolled her eyes at my dramatics. “Ugh, nothing.” She smirked before continuing. “If I swung that way, though, I’d be all over him.”

I spat the orange juice out of my mouth, narrowly missing her leg. I was shocked. She was a lesbian? How did I not know this? “I’m sorry.” I chuckled awkwardly, already feeling the blush creep up my neck. “I, uh, didn’t know that you were a…”

“A lesbian?” She cocked her eyebrow at me, still grinning. She obviously wasn’t offended by my reaction. “I thought you knew,” she said, looking confused.

“Uh, no.” I shook my head, wanting nothing more than to be out of this conversation.

“Seriously? Girl, you need to pay attention to what’s happening around you.”

I chuckled, nodding my head in agreement with her. I shrieked when a set of hands landed on my ribs and dug their fingers into my ticklish spots. I slung my arm out to grab them before Logan quickly jumped away.

Johnny’s arms slowly wound around me, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Good morning,” he whispered, nuzzling my neck. “Can I walk you to class?”

I nodded, taking his hand in mine and leading him to my building, leaving Logan and Bex laughing at something on her sketchpad. Sammy skated past us, giving me a small salute before disappearing into the crowd.

We walked in silence before I snapped under the pressure. “I’m sorry about last night!” I apologized, peeking up at him. “I’m not normally like that. I didn’t mean to push–”

“Shhh!” Johnny said, pulling me to a stop and pressing his finger against my lips. “I’m not complaining.” He grinned down at me before his eyes trailed down my body and then back up. “I liked you showing that part of yourself to me.”

“You did?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah.” He slipped his hands into my back pockets and pulled me toward him. “It’s nice to know you want me as much as I want you.”

“I do.” I smiled, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. “I’m happy with you.”

His grin widened before he leaned his head down and pressed his lips chastely to mine.

“I have to go.” I pulled away from him, giving him a small wave. “Come and see me later.”