Chapter 9
“I can’t believe Grandma didn’t want me to spend the night with her at the hospital.” Kitty couldn’t keep nerves from cracking her voice.
Something had happened to Beck between the time she’d left him at the gator place and the time he’d shown up at the hospital. He was treating her differently. Not like an adversary.
She was afraid that meant he’d decided not to ask for Maggie’s forgiveness. She was afraid her actions had taken away a choice better left to Maggie. She was afraid she’d never see Beck again.
She shivered, despite the heat, and stared at her untouched salad.
They sat at a small table on an outdoor patio at their hotel. It was a little after nine. Their hotel wasn’t very popular and they almost had the patio to themselves. A family of four sat at a table near the fountain.
“Your grandmother thinks company means she has to talk.” Beck wasn’t doing his food any justice either. “She’ll get more rest if she’s alone.”
“I know. I just worry about her.” Given the opportunity, Dotty would walk the halls and try to make friends, unconcerned that the back of her gown wasn’t tied.
“It strikes me,” Beck said carefully, pushing broccoli across his plate. “That had your roles been reversed–yours and Maggie’s–you would’ve taken my calls.”
Kitty’s fork fell to her plate. “She’s hurt.”
Beck placed his utensils on his plate with barely a sound. “I don’t make her happy.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.” He tapped his chest. “I feel it here. Things haven’t felt right between us for a long time.”
Kitty put her hands on the table. “Don’t make this decision without Maggie. You’ve had a couple of frustrating days.”
He clasped her fingers, holding tight when she would’ve pulled away. “I’ve had a cool down period. I’ve had my assumptions about love broken down to their bare bones, picked clean, and exposed to the elements.” He edged his chair closer to hers, leaned closer to her, came close enough she could almost feel the essence of his pain. “If I loved Maggie…If I loved her deep down to the core of my being, I would’ve bought a plane ticket or rented a car yesterday. I would’ve driven all night and stood out in a thunderstorm for her.”
“You did run out in a thunderstorm.” At the airport.
“And then I gave up.” Pain threaded his voice like a sharp needle with barbed thread. “I took my foot off the accelerator–”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” Kitty tried for levity. “You’ve driven like a bat out of hell.”
“You were right all along.” His gaze pinned hers and tried to convey a message she couldn’t decipher. “I love Maggie, and I always will, but I don’t love her the way I should or the way she deserves.”
“What brought on this revelation?” She spoke the question so softly, she almost didn’t hear it herself.
“I had second thoughts leading up to the wedding. I told myself it was because the ceremony was such a big production.” Beck’s gaze dropped to their hands. He stroked a thumb over the back of hers. “But last night…when I was griping about you ruining my life–”
“Which I kind-of did,” she allowed.
“–you told me you’d ruined everything except my heart.” He lifted his gaze. It was heavy with remorse and that indecipherable something. “My heart wasn’t broken when Maggie left me. But when you left me today, I felt hollow inside.”
No.
Everything Kitty believed about sisterly love and loyalty slammed into her chest. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t supposed to be like this. And she sure-as-sugar shouldn’t be opening her mouth and asking, “Why?”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. And in that moment, Kitty felt redemption. If he couldn’t say it to Maggie’s voicemail, he couldn’t possibly say it to Kitty’s face.
“I’m falling in love with you.” Oh, he said it all right. And it wasn’t in a furtive whisper in case someone was listening. “I said,” he raised his voice when she sat as motionless and tense as a mature child awaiting a booster shot. “I’m falling in love with you.”
The world spun, but not enough for Kitty to feint and Beck to disappear, not enough for the gut-wrenching pain from her betrayal of Maggie’s trust to ease, or the foolish beat of her heart to calm. What was she going to do? Kitty tugged her hand free. “You can’t be…be…”
“I can.” And there it was. The look in his eyes that she hadn’t been able to read before. It was love. For her.
The world spun faster than the blades on the airboat engine. Still, Kitty didn’t pass out.
“You can’t do this to me.” Kitty struggled to stand, struggled to hold in the cold well of sorrow and reject the warm rays of joy. “She’s my sister.” She stumbled in her too-big Big Al flip-flops.
Beck stood, reaching out to steady her, and she pushed him away. Her chair fell over and her pink cloth napkin fluttered to the ground. The well-behaved family of four eating pizza by the patio fountain turned to stare.
“You haven’t said you don’t have feelings for me.” There was his heart–right there in his words, on his sleeve, in his eyes.
He didn’t realize she couldn’t give him her heart in return. Not ever.
When Kitty didn’t answer, Beck took a step toward her. “Why were you near tears when we said goodbye earlier?”
“Because…” Kitty choked, horrified. Where was her composed bedside manner? She’d sat with women who knew they were going to deliver a still-born child without so much as a sob of grief. She’d performed emergency C-sections and held it together. And now…
Their waiter hurried out, righted the chair, took one look at them and hurried back inside.
Beck brushed the backs of his fingers across Kitty’s cheek. That touch promised there was more between them than a spark ignited by an unexpected kiss. It promised winter nights at home in front of the fire, and gentle laughter around the dinner table. It promised to be there with coffee when she was called to the hospital in the middle of the night and have breakfast ready when she returned in the morning.
Longing welled up inside of her, rising from her chest, squeezing up her throat, stinging her nose and watering her eyes. Everything had seemed so straightforward yesterday. Kiss the groom. Save Maggie.
“Kitty,” he said softly. “We could’ve been eaten by Big Al today. Your life must have flashed before your eyes. You must have noticed there was something missing.”
It hadn’t flashed before her eyes. It had struck her in the chest. In her heart. At the worst time–after he’d jumped into the alligator infested water at the same time she did. She’d realized that Beck was more than good enough for her sister.
The feeling that he was more than good enough for Kitty had come later.
And now, staring into blue eyes that seemed to shine only for her, she wanted to kiss the groom again. She wanted to forget Maggie. She wanted to do something just for herself.
“Kiss me,” she demanded in a whisper. Kiss me goodbye.
With a groan, he gathered her close. “I can’t kiss you. Technically, I’m still Maggie’s.”
Kitty clung to him. He’d known the moment he cheated on Maggie he’d be just as loathsome to Kitty as her father was.
He nestled his cheek to hers. “You won’t regret loving me, Kitty.”
She already did.