Chapter 6
Beck was no car thief. Nor was he heartless.
More’s the pity.
Beck couldn’t bring himself to leave the Summer women in West Palm Beach.
He should abscond with the car and leave them with their family. He’d seen Kitty bristle when Creighton talked. She didn’t seem on the best of terms with her cousin.
It shouldn’t matter what Kitty preferred. It did. Beck couldn’t leave them. He could call his parents many things–poor horsemen, poor businessmen, poor parents–but they’d raised Beck to respect and protect women.
So, he’d checked them into a hotel, took them to dinner at a Cuban restaurant on the beach, and listened to tales of Dotty’s wild youth.
“But enough about me.” Dotty looked at Kitty with the kind of pride Beck had always wanted to see in his parents’ eyes. “Kitty was the serious one. Keeping the family together, even when the younger ones ran wild. She’s been a particularly good influence on Maggie.”
From what he knew of Kitty, that fit. Maggie and her sisters idolized her. What didn’t fit was Kitty’s behavior today. “So, Kitty never ran away from home? Or went to an all-night party?”
They shook their heads.
They sat on a patio at the restaurant overlooking the boardwalk. A shade sail made the heat bearable. Beyond the bushes, the ocean rolled in on gentle waves. The dress code in the restaurant was casual and his companions’ tacky pink flamingos didn’t look out of place.
“My biggest rebellion was stepping away from the family and focusing on med school.” Kitty cradled her sangria in both hands and stared into its depths. “Not much of a rebellion.”
Replace horses for sisters and her life sounded more like Beck’s. But he couldn’t let her know that. “So you never dated a dangerous man?”
Kitty rolled her big brown eyes and tossed her hair. She’d taken it down from the intricate braids. It rippled in the breeze coming off the ocean.
“Kitty doesn’t have the patience for a dangerous man,” Dotty said sagely. “She barely has patience for men, period.”
“You’re making me sound like a nun,” Kitty protested, slim brows arching.
Too bad for Kitty, Dotty was clear as a bell this evening. “You have a three-date limit.”
“That’s not true.”
“Who was your latest beau? Clark?” Dotty leaned toward the center of the table, a sparkle in her eyes. “Clark took you to a fundraising dinner you paid for, a Broadway matinee, and the Museum of Modern Art.” Dotty shifted toward Beck and whispered, “MOMA was free to the public that day.”
Beck chuckled. “Clark was definitely not dangerous.” More like a miser.
Kitty took a generous sip of sangria.
“Before that it was that man you used to work with.” Dotty raised her faded brown eyes to the sky. “What did Maggie call him? Dr. Hunky?”
“His name is Hank.” Pink rode high in Kitty’s cheeks.
Thoroughly enjoying himself, Beck prodded Dotty. “How many dates did she have with Dr. Hunky?”
“Three.” The elderly woman practically sang the answer back to him. The breeze turned strong, tossing Dotty’s short white hair every which way. Her eyes seemed to glaze over as she looked at Beck. “Now. How many dates have you had with Kitty?”
Without thinking, Beck played along. “This is my first.”
“Don’t.” Kitty’s voice was as cold as tack iron on a winter’s morning. She touched her grandmother’s arm. “Are you ready to go back to the hotel?”
“I’m sorry,” Beck said, a sickening twist in his stomach. Everything twisted tighter when he saw there were tears in Kitty’s eyes. “That was inappropriate.”
“What’s inappropriate?” Dotty stared at the margarita-drinking flamingo on Kitty’s T-shirt. “Am I your prom chaperone? Were you drinking?”
Kitty stood and hauled her grandmother to her feet. “He’s not my date. I never went to prom. It’s time we went back to the hotel.”
They didn’t talk on the way back to their rooms.
From the boardwalk, Beck watched the waves roll in and wreak havoc with the shoreline and the people there. His life had been hit by a powerful wave, too. And that wave was named Kitty. Growing up, she’d been over-protective of her siblings. That’s why when she misunderstood his remarks about the filly, she’d leapt to her sister’s defense. Could he blame her?
Only for not confronting him about her suspicions then and there.
A few minutes later, Beck entered his room and spotted the rental car keys on the hotel desk. Again, he was tempted to leave Kitty and Dotty. He should be racing to Maggie’s side. He should be calling her parents and groveling. He shouldn’t be sitting in a hotel room contemplating the value of the cost of a small bottle of whiskey and wondering if the alcohol would silence the small voice in his head that whispered about bad luck and dodging a bullet.
He hadn’t dodged anything. He loved Maggie. She was steady and predictable.
Or at least, she had been. Although their relationship had never been tested like this.
He hated that he had doubts. He hated that he’d had doubts before Kitty had kissed him.
A chair scraped on the outdoor patio his room shared with Kitty’s. Anger rumbled through his veins like thundering hooves racing around the bend. By rights, he should’ve been married by now. He should’ve been blissfully happy with his continued good fortune. And he would’ve been. If not for Kitty’s kiss.
He opened the slider, immediately embraced by the lingering heat of the day and the noise from happy families near the pool. All the upstairs rooms were booked. Their rooms were on the ground floor and faced east, toward the ocean rolling to the beach fifty yards away.
Kitty sat staring at the graying sky. She didn’t look up when Beck pulled a beige metal chair to face hers and sat in it.
“My comment about Maggie can’t have been the only reason you took action today.” Beck kept his voice low in case Dotty was still awake. “Were you jealous? Did you begrudge your baby sister the spotlight?”
She shook her head, still not looking at him. “You aren’t in love with her.”
The pork he’d had for dinner turned in his stomach. “We could have talked your concerns through. You didn’t have to kiss me.”
Her dark gaze sought his, asking a question he couldn’t fathom. “That kiss was an acid test. And you didn’t pass.”
Unlike Maggie, she was infuriating in nearly every way. “You kissed me. How could I not pass?”
Her gaze dropped to his mouth and then back to the sky. “You kissed me back.”
The anger he’d been feeling toward her reared and changed directions, racing inward. He was guilty. He had returned her kiss. He stared at his hands, clenching them against rising doubt. “It was a reflexive response.”
“It was more than a reflex.” She refused to look at him. “It went on.”
It had. For too long. He’d avoided thinking about their kiss in detail because he was afraid of what that meant. He’d thought he loved Maggie. Until today. If what he’d felt for Maggie hadn’t been love strong enough for marriage, what was?
His thoughts spun in circles that made him dizzy. He needed a distraction, so he went on the attack, letting all his messy emotion spill out. “You ruined my wedding. You ruined my truck. You ruined my business plan.” He sounded pathetic. Most likely because he was. He’d told Maggie he loved her. He’d asked her to marry him. Why hadn’t he booked the next plane out today after being freed from security? Why hadn’t he rented a vehicle to keep on driving?
It was just…Kitty was just…
He couldn’t blame his hesitation on her. He hadn’t followed his intuition. He’d followed the opportunity for the filly. He’d been searching for a good mare with solid racing heritage. But they all came at too high a cost. When he met Tim Summer, he’d been searching for someone to buy a share of the farm. A small share, but a share nonetheless. He’d lied to Kitty when he said he’d found out about the filly weeks ago from Dotty. He’d been in negotiations with Tim to buy the filly and had been for over a year.
He stared at Kitty anyway. At the thick dark hair that fell in silken ripples down her back. At the petite profile that hid a deep well of strength. It’d taken guts to stand up on that altar and kiss him.
She sighed and faced him. Her expression didn’t accuse or deride. She hadn’t attacked his claims of love, so much as denied the depth of those claims. How could he blame her for finding a weakness he hadn’t recognized within himself?
“Apparently, I ruined all but one thing.” Her voice was soft, not damning. Her gaze was pitying, not pious. “I didn’t break your heart.”
The sounds around Beck went on mute. Time slowed. It felt like his heart slowed, too. But it slowed from the blood-numbing impact of truth, not from a mortal wound to the heart. He’d had his heart broken as a child. He knew what heartbreak felt like. He never wanted to be heartbroken again.
“Do your parents love each other?” Beck asked when he could work up enough saliva to speak.
“No.” Kitty’s answer came too quickly. “Not like they should. My father–”
“I know about your father.” About his philandering and his ill wife. Had she heard about his parents? “My mom and dad are in love with each other.”
That created a crease between her brows. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing. Grandma Dotty and Grandpa Ronald were head-over-heels in love with each other. It was beautiful.” The crease disappeared. She drew herself up with a swell of hearts and flowers that bloomed into a smile.
He should leave her with her happiness. He couldn’t. Whether he liked it or not, he and Kitty had a connection. He needed her to understand why he was comfortable loving Maggie within limits. “My parents love each other to the exclusion of everyone and everything else. When my grandfather fell ill, they were at a loss as to how to deal with him. When they should have been taking over the reins of the horse farm after he died, they barely paid the bills on time.”
She angled her chair to face him, hearts and flowers disappearing.
“My parents are crazy in love with each other.” Gone was the volume control on his voice. He spoke loud enough to wake Dotty and reach passersby. He didn’t care. “My parents have been in love since the moment they met. Their love is priority one. Everything else…everyone else…” Including him. “…comes second.”
“That can’t be true.” Kitty’s voice was wrinkled with disbelief. “They love you. They were at the wedding.”
“Maybe so, but they didn’t stick around afterward to see if I was okay. They haven’t answered my calls since.” He’d tried them again after they’d checked in. “Their world doesn’t revolve around me and it never has. That time I was kicked in the wrist? Grandpa took me to the hospital. They never showed up.”
She covered one of his hands with one of hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.
He pulled his hand free. “I’m not looking for sympathy for a lonely childhood. My grandfather made up for it.” He’d come to open houses and soccer games. He’d helped Beck with his homework. “But after he died, my parents were content to let everything go. Everything my grandfather worked for…Everything he was passionate about and sacrificed for.”
“Everything that was important to you,” she guessed, capturing his hand again for another heartfelt squeeze.
He didn’t pull away this time. She had a great bedside manner. He had no doubt her medical practice would thrive. “I don’t want to repeat my parents’ mistake and love someone to the exclusion of everything else. I love Maggie.” Lightning didn’t strike, so it must be true. “But I can love her and still devote myself to my business.”
“I bet you knew you wanted to run that horse farm from the time you could walk,” Kitty said in a neutral voice.
Beck nodded, wondering why he’d never told Maggie any of this. Would she care? Would she understand? Had she guessed?
“I bet it replaced that void that should have been filled by your parents.”
Beck said nothing.
Kitty drew back, taking her touch with her. “I think I knew I wanted to be a doctor for as long as I can remember. My mom has seizures and anxiety attacks. I wanted to fix her, because my dad didn’t seem to…” Her voice trailed off. She gave Beck a wan smile. “Anyway, Mom couldn’t always watch out for us, not the way she would’ve if she’d been healthy. Oh, we had Grandma Dotty and nannies, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted a mom like the other kids had.”
He had, too. “You took care of them.” Such a burden for one so young. He’d never heard any of her sisters complain that Kitty had been too bossy or that she was resentful of the responsibility. He’d never complained about taking over the horse farm. He’d never complained when he had to drop out of soccer or watched every penny to the point he didn’t date or hang out with his friends.
“I took care of the girls until medical school and my residency consumed me. And look what happened.” She pressed her lips together as if trying to hold back her words, but she wasn’t successful in holding anything in. “And look what happened. You slipped past me. Maggie changed. My mom recreated her wedding. And then I had no choice but to kiss you.”
Their gazes met. Held.
Something in Beck’s chest shifted. His heart beat harder.
“Anyway, it doesn’t mean anything.” She spoke too quickly, drawing back in her chair. “All men stray.”
“I resent that remark.” Or resemble, as the case may be. “You gave me no choice.”
She made a grumbling sound that he took as an expression of frustration. “I meant, our kiss meant nothing to me.” She looked everywhere but at him. “I’m not looking for something with you or anyone. I have to devote myself to my practice and, somehow, keep my eye on the girls.”
Something in her demeanor shifted, almost without him noticing. Something in her tone. Something in her defense of their kiss being meaningless. “Hey.” He touched her shoulder as impersonally as if he was pressing an elevator button. “You don’t believe in love, do you?”
Kitty hesitated too long before answering. “Does it matter? You’re afraid passionate love could hurt you somehow or that it isn’t lucrative.” Emphasis on lucrative, which is what had gotten them into trouble in the first place. Kitty gathered her hair into a loose ponytail. “I’ve been so distracted lately, so caught up in my own goals, I didn’t see there was no passion between you two until today.” Her gaze pierced his. “You haven’t slept together.”
Beck rocked back in his seat. “That’s none of your business.”
“I know my sister. Maggie’s no slut, but she wouldn’t let a little thing like a wedding ring stand between her and…” Kitty gave him a half-smile, one that was part worry and part regret. “I don’t want you to take this wrong, but you’re hot.”
His masculine pride encouraged him to take it wrong. His sense of honor wouldn’t let him.
“If Maggie was hot for you, well…” Kitty’s half-smile faded. “Without passion, what happens the next time someone lip-bombs you and you kiss them back? That’s called cheating and it’s not fair to Maggie.”
“From now on, I’m going to keep other women at arms’ length.” Especially Kitty. “Why can’t you accept there are all kinds of love? I don’t prefer the kind of love you’re talking about. It’s…distracting.”
“Maybe you don’t prefer it, but Maggie deserves it, nonetheless.” Kitty laced her fingers together as if in prayer. “At the very least, she deserves to know what to expect from you.”
“Why? Because you think she needs more than I can give? Because it’s important to you?” He shook his head and made a decision. “I’m going to ask Maggie to forgive me and marry me.”
“That’s your right.” She untangled her fingers and stood. “Just make sure you profess your love honestly, because if she asks my opinion, I’m going to tell her.” She moved toward her slider. “She can’t trust you to honor your vows.”
“That’s not true. Kitty.” Beck captured her hand. It fit snug within the circle of his fingers. Their warmth melded, creating a link in support of everything Kitty was saying. Yet, Beck still denied it, because he believed he could deny temptation, even if it came in a package as tempting as his fiancée’s sister. “What will you do if she takes me back?”
Kitty stared at their joined hands and swallowed. “I’ll live with her decision.”
Beck vowed to live with it, too.