That night we didn’t have sex. Instead, we laid there holding each other in silence. He fell asleep first, and I waited a few moments before peeling his arms from me. I gathered my things quietly, constantly looking back at the bed to make sure he hadn’t woken up. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have the kind of strength needed to sit by silently and take the degradation and whatever else went along with being a coveted that Cillian didn’t want to tell me about.
The guards didn’t even try to stop me as I left, the uber was waiting for me outside right as I stepped through the doors. For the longest during the drive, I stared at my cellphone. I couldn’t do it in person, I knew that much. Looking at Cillian’s face or hearing his voice, I wouldn’t have the strength to cut ties.
If we existed in a bubble, or if he didn’t have the threat of violence dangling over him, I wouldn’t have left. But we were part of a larger world. Unfortunately, one that didn’t allow for many mistakes and he made a big one when he accidentally coveted me.
So, like the horrible person I was, I ended our relationship with a text message.
- Cillian, you’re waking up alone because as things are, I can’t be with you. You said it yourself, I like to get my way. I do, and that’s why I can’t be your girlfriend anymore. It’s one thing to submit to you in the bedroom, but I’m not the type to do that sort of thing outside of it. I’m going to miss you, and if we lived different lives I wouldn’t be saying goodbye, but we live the way we do. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but I can’t do this.
I hit send just as the car pulled up at my building. I tipped and paid with the app before heading up the two flights of stairs to my apartment, which hardly felt like home as I shut the door. My phone buzzed as I slid the deadbolt in place.
- Can we meet somewhere and talk about this?
I stared at the message for a while but didn’t reply. Instead, I turned off that little intrusive electronic rectangle, took my bottle of sleep aid from the medicine cabinet, popped a few and let the melatonin pull me under in a blissfully dreamless sleep.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
“Scarlet!”
Thud. Thud. Thud. My head hurt, and everything sounded like it was underwater. I was just getting out of bed to go to the door when I heard the chain and bold slide off. I’d read about how those chains didn’t really stop people from breaking in, but experiencing it up close and personal was a little unsettling. Snatching my cell from the nightstand, I groaned— I intended to check the time, but it was off, so there wasn’t any hope of that. I knew it was Cillian from the way he stalked through the apartment.
When he stepped into view he looked like he’d been crying, his eyes were red, and he had on his black hoodie and pajama pants.
“Go away.” I slipped back under the covers. I couldn’t look at him like that, so I stared at the wall. “I thought the text I sent was pretty clear.”
“You’re not breaking up with me over text.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you came over then! I can’t do this, Cillian. I am in-fucking-capable of doing what is expected of me as your coveted. And fuck your asshole of a father for putting his hand on me.”
“I’m going to take care of him, Scarlet. I meant it. He’s going to pay for touching you.”
“It’s not just that. The other night you got up, and fucking ripped some guy’s throat out, shot them then took a shower like it was nothing. I don’t know how to deal with that shit.”
“You need my protection, Scarlet. Because you’re a coveted, you’re now considered a human associated with the preternatural which means the powers that be won’t protect you like they would have before.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ve learned my lesson. No more brushing shoulders with the beautiful and deadly for me.” I wiped my eyes.
He stepped around to stand in front of me. “You don’t know what it’s like out there without protection.”
“Really? I lived twenty-three years without it.”
“You didn’t.” He knelt and took my hands. “The Order of Shadows protects unaffiliated humans from non-humans. With the coveted bond, you’re now affiliated, so they won’t watch over you like they once did because that’s supposed to be my job. I can’t do that if you cut all ties with me, Scarlet.”
I pulled away from him, and he growled. Shutting my eyes tight for a moment I exhaled slowly. “Leave. I mean it. With or without you in my life, I now have a chance of getting fucking shot now, but with you gone I won’t be forced to kneel to some motherfucker or get beaten because he fucking feels like it. No matter how I feel about you… or how much I love you…I just can’t stomach it. So, we’re done. We’re over.”
“No. Remember what I said? I don’t care if you fucking hate me. I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe. Ezra’s going to guard you until my father’s abdication. After that, you’ll move in with me. No, we won’t be together, but once I’m head of the family, no one is going to treat you like he did, if they want to stay living.”
“As long as I don’t have to see you or whoever you decide to parade around as your mate.” I opened my eyes and stared up at him. His cheeks were wet with tears, and his eyes were still red.
“Fine. I’ll make the arrangements to have the Penthouse remodeled.” He wiped the tears away and stood. “Ezra!”
Cillian’s black-clad brother appeared in the doorway. They nodded to each other, but they didn’t say anything. I could tell from their posture they were communicating in some way I couldn’t understand, like two cats paused in a hallway. Cillian glanced over his shoulder at me before shutting his eyes and turning to leave. My apartment was painfully silent until the door closed.
“Man, you did a fucking number on him.” Without asking he walked across the room and laid on the bed beside me on top of the covers.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I glared at him.
“Watching you like he told me to. He thinks dad’s going to do something stupid.”
“Do you think he’ll try something?”
Ezra beamed at me. “This is a really comfy bed. What is it? Memory foam?”
The abrupt change of subject made me swallow as I covered my head with the blanket and went back to crying.