Chapter 11: Knox

 

Friday, May 1st

 

Chase threw a pen across the office, and I bit back a grin. I probably shouldn’t have been entertained by the fact that he’d traded in his usual mild-mannered personality for one belonging to a fire-breathing dragon. But, I had to find amusement somewhere; otherwise, I was likely to go insane worrying about Haley. Logically, I knew she could take of herself, but that didn’t mean I was okay with her being on her own.

I liked taking care of Haley and keeping her safe. Was that so wrong?

Realizing that it was past lunchtime, I logged off my computer and walked over to Chase’s desk. He was staring intensely at his monitor, typing at an impossible, nearly inhuman, speed. How did his brain work that fast?

When he didn’t notice me hovering, I snapped my fingers in front of his face a few times, and his head finally jerked in my direction. After pulling out his earbuds, he turned his attention back to his monitor and grumbled, “What?”

“Come on, I’m treating you to lunch.”

“I don’t have time.”

“Make time. I want to pick your brain about something, and you need a break.” And at least twelve hours of sleep, I thought. The circles under his eyes were so deep they were beginning to resemble craters.

When he ignored me, I said, “It’s about Ethan.”

His fingers paused over the keyboard, and his shoulders slackened. “Okay, but only if we make it quick.”

“No problem. We’ll grab something downstairs.”

Once we were seated at a small table, I dug into my food and noticed that Chase was barely picking at his pasta.

“I know you’re stressed, but you have to take care of yourself.”

He nodded and ate a few bites, then set his fork on his plate. “This sucks.”

“Then get something else.”

“No, not the food. Haley. Ethan.”

“We’ll find Haley.” We will, I reassured myself. “As for Ethan, it concerns me that none of us have been able to reach him since he walked out of the meeting on Monday. You still haven’t heard anything, right?”

“Not a word.”

“I’ve checked everywhere I can think of. His favorite bars. That crazy martial arts gym he goes to. Even that damn ice cream place he loves so much. I’ve talked to his aunt, and she swears she doesn’t know where he is. My guess is, he’s hiding out until after his dismissal from the team is official.

“You know him better than anyone. Can you think of any place he might go? Even out of town? Somewhere that’s special to him, maybe?”

“I don’t know, Knox. Nothing like that is coming to mind.” Chase returned to his lunch, and after a few minutes, said, “Did you try talking to the paramedic he volunteers with? Jared?”

“No. I’ll add him to my list. Anything else?”

He shook his head.

“Okay, well if I do manage to find Ethan, do you want to go with me to talk to him?”

He looked contemplative, then sad. “It’s probably better if you go alone. I’m sure he’s still upset about me kissing Haley.”

“Are you—”

“Wait, I have an idea!” Chase interrupted, his expression brightening. “Ethan’s dad used to take him fishing. What was the name of that lake?” He pulled out his phone and typed, then started scrolling. “Got it! Anderson Lake. It’s about an hour outside of Santa Cruz.”

“Good thinking.”

“It’s a long shot, but a lead is a lead.” Chase stood. “Let’s get back to work.”

 

*  *  *

 

Saturday, May 2nd

 

I pulled up to the small cabin, relieved to see Ethan’s Audi sitting in the driveway. After spending my Friday night researching rentals near Anderson Lake, I’d made a list of the most promising options and headed out first thing this morning. This one was the eighth on my list. Not too bad, considering.

Ethan opened the door, a scowl on his bearded face. That’s a new look, I thought, also noticing that his T-shirt appeared to be stained with pizza sauce and—was that chocolate? Probably smashed Peanut Butter M&M’s.

“What the hell are you doing here?” His voice was scratchy with sleep, and I couldn’t resist checking my watch. Yep, it’s afternoon.

“Did I wake you, princess?”

“Why couldn’t you leave well enough alone?”

“Have you met me?”

“Unfortunately,” he grumbled.

“Gonna let me in?” He didn’t budge from the doorway, so I continued standing there patiently. I’d learned long ago that pushing Ethan wouldn’t get me anywhere.

After a drawn-out stare down, he huffed and disappeared inside. “Might as well get this over with,” he called.

“I’m feeling the love,” I muttered.

When I stepped into the small living room, Ethan was already sitting on the couch and opening a beer. I chose a chair across from him and attempted to ignore the countless empty bottles that littered the coffee table.

“Nice cabin.” It reminded me of the one we rented outside of Coleville, although quainter. I wonder if Haley would ever want to spend a weekend someplace like this? Maybe just the two of us?

“You didn’t come all the way out here to admire my cabin, so spit it out.”

“Fine,” I sighed. “I’m worried you’re about to do something incredibly stupid, and I want to stop you.”

His laugh lacked even an ounce of humor. “Pretty sure it’s too late for that.”

“Technically, it’s not too late until tomorrow. You can still change your mind. You should change your mind.”

“Not happening,” he said, knocking back the rest of his beer.

“Ethan, seriously. Whatever issues you have with Jax can be worked out. It’s not worth walking away from the team.”

“You don’t know shit.”

“Explain it to me, then.”

He regarded me with obvious disdain, his eyes ice-cold.

“I’m not Theo. You can’t stroll in here acting like Papa Bear and expect me to go along with whatever you say.”

Ethan shoved off the couch and stalked to the kitchen, grabbing yet another beer from the fridge. “It’s funny. You didn’t give a crap about helping me until I threatened to break up your precious little family.”

“That’s not true. I tried talking to you, but you shut me out. You shut Chase out. And, I thought that it was your family, too.”

“No.” He tipped his bottle my direction as he sprawled back onto the couch. “I had a family, unlike your shitty excuse for parents, but they’re gone now. I don’t need second-rate replacements.”

I kept my expression shuttered to hide the wound his words inflicted. Not the part about my parents; he was spot-on about them. But, deep down, I’d believed that he didn’t want to quit the team. That he simply needed someone to fight for him.

Apparently, I had been wrong. He was done with us. Bitterness was clearly eating him up, and I didn’t think anyone could reach him right now.

Holding back the urge to lash out in retaliation, I decided to give it one last shot. “Insults won’t scare me away. Why don’t you tell me what all this is really about?”

Ignoring my question, he sat up a little. “Did you find Haley?”

“You care about her,” I responded, not answering his question.

He shrugged, attempting nonchalance that I didn’t buy for one second. “She’s my friend. Of course I want to know if she’s okay.”

Suddenly realizing that I’d been taking the wrong approach all along, I dropped my head to stare at the ground. “I don’t know if she’s okay. We haven’t found any promising leads past San Francisco.”

“Are you kidding me?” he spat. “It’s been a week!”

“Haley’s smart. She’s obviously being careful, covering her tracks.”

“Sure, she’s smart, but finding people is what we do.”

“We would be able to do it better if we weren’t missing a vital member of our team.”

He scoffed. “Whatever. Chase and Jackson are the hackers. You don’t need me.”

“There’s more to it than hacking. Plus, you could take over some of their duties so they can focus on searching.”

“Nice try, but that’s not going to work. You’ll find her eventually, with or without my help.”

I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to keep my frustration in check. “You do realize that when we get Haley back, if you’re no longer on the team, you’ll lose your chance with her, right?”

“I’ve already lost my chance with her,” he mumbled.

What does that mean?

Ethan stood abruptly. “Look, Knox, believe it or not, I appreciate that you came out here and tried to change my mind. But, it’s not going to happen. Tell Chase I’m sorry.”

He strode to the front door and held it open for me. Not one to ignore not-so-subtle hints, I followed him. Before walking out, I gave his shoulder a squeeze. “It’s not too late. Don’t make a mistake that you will regret forever.”

Back in my truck, I pulled out my phone and texted Jax.

Me: Operation Last Ditch was unsuccessful.

Jax: As expected. Thanks for trying.