Chapter 18: Jackson

Saturday, June 20th

I gripped the edges of my surfboard, lazily floating in the cold water as I waited for a wave to swell that was worthy of chasing. For the first few weeks after Haley and Ethan left, I denied myself the pleasure of surfing, punishing myself for letting things get so out of control. But, when Knox called me out in Portland, I took a hard look at my overbearing behavior. Ethan’s primary reason for quitting the team was my inflexibility, and although I still believed his decision to leave had been an overreaction, I was unwilling to risk pushing any more of the guys away.

With that in mind, I had been making a concerted effort to rein in my dictatorial tendencies. And, surfing almost daily helped me stay relaxed. There was nothing like the high of catching a wave, and I craved the release when I went without it for too long.

Glimpsing movement on the beach, I realized that Knox and Chase had already gotten out of the water and were climbing the steps that led to my backyard. Looking above their heads, I could see Liam messing with the grill and Theo standing nearby, animatedly talking with his hands. Knowing I shouldn’t keep them all waiting, I caught the next decently-sized wave and rode it to shore.

I couldn’t remember the last time the five of us had gotten together just to hang out, which was a problem. We’d wrapped up a fairly intense mission the day before, and I insisted on dinner tonight to unwind. Now that we were no longer in immediate crisis mode with Haley, we needed to spend more time together as a team, working through our issues. We had all been annoyingly edgy for too long—except for Knox, of course. He was cool as a cucumber, at least on the outside. If I hadn’t detected his worry about our girl in the tightness of his massive shoulders, I might have doubted he was human.

The conversation over dinner was lighthearted, reminding me of the days before things became so complicated. I would never admit it out loud, but there were moments I wished that we could all walk away from Zenith and never look back. Live normal lives and spend carefree Saturdays hanging out at the beach, free from the pressures and responsibilities of our jobs.

In the middle of reminiscing about the time we went paintballing and Knox ended up with a black eye, Chase said Ethan’s name before immediately snapping his mouth shut like he’d said a dirty word. Hating how awkward the mention of his name still made the group, I changed the subject, but it was obvious that the mood of the evening had shifted. It made me grateful, once again, that Ethan accepted a long-term transfer to Miami. I couldn’t imagine running into him at the office on a daily basis.

We were several beers in, even Chase, when Theo said sadly, “I can’t believe it’s only been two months.” He didn’t have to expound on his statement; all of us were exceedingly aware that Haley disappeared eight weeks ago today. And while, in the whole scheme of things, it hadn’t taken that long to track her down, her absence visibly weighed on each of us.

“At least we know she’s okay,” Chase said tentatively. “She seems to get along well with her co-workers.”

“As long as she doesn’t start getting along too well with that stupid Noah guy,” Theo grumbled. “Just what we need—more competition for her affections.”

“That skinny, hipster-looking guy?” Liam asked with a laugh. “I wouldn’t consider him competition.”

“You never know,” Theo responded. “She’s got to be lonely, and he makes her laugh. I’ve seen it.”

“We should probably be more concerned with what to do about her when we convince her to come home. And, we will convince her to come home,” I said forcefully. I hadn’t intended to bring up the subject tonight, but it was past time for us to discuss a plan. “There are still five of us and one of her.”

“What choices do we have?” Knox asked. “Leave her there and let her be?” Groans and head shakes around the table accompanied his words. “Coax her back here and then ban ourselves from dating her again? We tried that once, and it didn’t work out so well.”

“We could decide which one of us gets to date her,” I offered, hating how idiotic the idea sounded.

“Like draw straws?” Chase asked.

I shrugged. “I guess.”

The table fell silent, and I took a long swig of my beer, feeling defeated. I kept pushing this problem to the back of my mind, but obviously there was no good resolution. Unless four of us suddenly bowed out—which was never going to happen—we needed a plan.

“Shouldn’t Haley be the one to choose?” Liam said. “We bring her home, all date her, then let her decide.”

“All date her at the same time?” Chase asked, his face suddenly pale.

“Why not?” Liam responded, clearly not bothered by the idea.

“Because people might think badly of her. And us,” he added.

“It’s not like we would post it on Facebook,” Liam said with a sarcastic lilt to his voice.

“We don’t even know if she’s interested in all of us,” Knox interrupted. “And what if she wants Ethan? He’s popular with the ladies for a reason.”

“Don’t even go there, and I doubt that she would turn any of us down,” Liam retorted. “But, no one is going to force her. We could just ask her who she wants to date.”

“Easy for you to say,” Theo said with a scowl. “You’ve made out with her, so of course she won’t turn you down.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “You lived with her for over seven months. She adores you; she’s not going to reject you, of all people.” Theo looked unconvinced but didn’t say anything more.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Knox said. “I can’t imagine putting her in a position where she has to choose after dating all, or even most, of us. It would be too hard for her. You know Haley; she would hate hurting any of us like that.”

“Knox is right,” Chase said with a frown. “It would crush her.”

Although I didn’t disagree, I found myself asking, “Do we have any better ideas?”

When no one responded, Liam grinned. “Looks like we’re going with mine, then. Let the best man win.”

“We still have time—for now, let’s keep an open mind,” I said before the conversation could spiral into an argument.

I had a sudden vision of the five of us in medieval costumes, jousting for the favors of our fair maiden. When I started laughing, every eye turned to me, watching me like I was crazy. Maybe I was slightly crazy for considering the idea. I was supposed to be devoted to keeping the team together at all costs, and officially fighting for Haley’s affections could easily be the thing that would rip us apart at the seams. But, how could I expect any of them to give up Haley when I wasn’t willing to do so?