Chapter 20: Knox

Monday, July 6th

Staring at the flat screen mounted above the bar, I watched the baseball game without really seeing it, all the while wishing Theo hadn’t talked me into coming out with him. When he’d arrived home from the campaign office, he insisted that it was time for me to stop being a “hermit” and tried to convince me to meet up with a few of his friends for drinks. That wasn’t going to happen, so we’d compromised and were now on our second round of beers at a low-key sports bar.

I shifted my gaze and found a couple of college-age girls ogling me. One of them bit her lip in what I assumed was intended to be a sexy, come-hither move. Resisting the urge to roll my eyes at her, I turned my attention to the beer bottle in my hands. Even before Haley, I wouldn’t have been interested in what she was offering. I wasn’t into playing games or hooking up with random girls.

Scrubbing my hand over my face, I realized that I’d managed to let my usual scruff grow into a beard without noticing. I must have looked as haggard as I felt. It’s a wonder those girls gave me a second glance in my current state. They probably think they can fix me or something.

Theo returned to our booth and placed a whiskey on the table in front of me. When I eyed it warily, he pointed to his water. “You need something stronger than beer tonight, and I’m good to drive, so no arguments.”

I mentally checked my calendar for tomorrow and, deciding there wasn’t anything pressing scheduled for the morning, I tossed back the glass, reveling in the burn of the whiskey down my throat. Of course, that just reminded me of my birthday, when Haley practically choked after tasting my drink. I had been well on my way to getting drunk that night and remembered feeling sheepish the next day when I realized how forward I had been with her, pulling her into my lap and inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo.

As my mouth twitched into a grin at the memory, I knew I wouldn’t change a thing about that night if I had to do it over. After spending so much time alone with her while Theo was in LA, I’d already started to think of her as mine, in spite of my best intentions to keep her at arm’s length.

“Where’d you just go?” Theo asked me curiously.

I gave him a knowing look. “Where do you think?” I had fought my feelings for Haley for so long, but something about her leaving pushed me over the edge. There didn’t seem to be any point in denying or hiding them anymore.

He smiled, but I detected a hint of sadness behind it. “This stupid plan of ours is taking too long. I am so tempted to fly up there and drag her home today.”

Nodding, I replied, “If I wasn’t certain that getting Douglas out of the way first was absolutely necessary, she would already be home.”

More than anything, I wanted her sleeping down the hall from me again. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. I’d rather have her sleeping in my bed every night. But, knowing she was nearby and safe would go a long way to easing the constant anxiety I’d been dealing with since she left.

“How are things going at the campaign office?” I asked.

Theo sighed. “Good, just not fast enough. I’m hoping to get my hands on everything we need by the end of the month, but that may be a little optimistic. It would help if Jim was out of his office more often. It’s difficult to sneak in there when he’s always on his phone or computer.”

Jim was Douglas’s campaign manager and spent most of his time at the San Jose campaign office. Theo had been slowly hacking into Jim’s records to gather evidence that Douglas was accepting improper contributions. Although he had found a few useful financial records, Theo was convinced that the number of improper contributions would double over the next few weeks based on conversations he’d overheard by bugging Jim’s phone. It might not be enough to completely tank Douglas’s political career, but it would at least distract him for the foreseeable future and keep Haley from being an ongoing target.

“You’d think that Douglas’s campaign manager would be more careful with his record-keeping, considering the illegal nature of his activities.”

Theo scoffed. “You know the type. Believes he’s above the law and getting caught. Makes my job that much more fun.”

“Hello,” a female voice purred. I looked up to find the two girls from the bar standing next to our table. Apparently they didn’t notice or accept my earlier brushoff. “Can we buy you boys a drink?” the lip-biter asked with a sultry smile.

Theo gave me his I’ve got this look and pleasantly responded, “That’s nice of you, but we’re good.”

She pouted, and this time I didn’t bother disguising my annoyance. “Then maybe we can join you?” she asked, pointedly eyeing the empty spaces in the booth. “In case you change your mind.”

Theo gave her a fake smile and said, “Sorry, but we’re having quality brother time this evening.”

The very persistent girl opened her mouth again, probably to argue, so I interrupted. “And we have a girlfriend.” Why did I say it like that? Like we have the same girlfriend?

The quiet friend dragged her away, and I slumped in relief. I would never understand the practice of trying to meet people in bars. Ridiculous.

“We have a girlfriend, do we?” Theo asked with his mischievous grin.

I groaned. Of course he wouldn’t let that go. “You know what I meant. I just wanted her to leave.”

Theo’s expression turned pensive. “Have you given the whole all-of-us-dating-Haley thing any more thought?” Before I could respond, he continued, his words tumbling out in a frenzied jumble. “Because, I have, and I don’t like it. Imagine what it will be like if she chooses Chase, which she definitely could, because they would be adorably sweet and perfect together. He lives with us, Knox. I don’t know if I can handle watching them all blissed-out happy every day. Will he move out? Will she? What if they get their own place? And don’t even get me started on what will happen if she chooses Liam. She’ll probably spend all of her time at his penthouse, and we’ll never see her again. I don’t want to get her back just to lose her. I can’t.”

When he finally stopped speaking, I downed the rest of my whiskey and sighed. “I know. But, what are we supposed to do? It’s an impossible situation.”

Theo opened his mouth like he was going to say something but then shut it again. The truth was, there was nothing left to say. We had to either compete for her heart or let her go, and both options were incomprehensible. Even if she chose me, could I live with the guilt of knowing I stole her away from my brother and best friends? And, if she chose Theo, Jax, Chase, or Liam, would I ever get over her?