Fur tickled my nose. Bandit. Demon raccoon couldn’t just let me sleep—

I bolted upright in bed, remembering a second too late that I had been stabbed. I cringed, waiting for the pain to follow, but after a moment of sitting there, it never did. I looked down, expecting to see my own naked flesh, but a crisp white t-shirt hung from my shoulders. The material was long and baggy, it must have been one of the guys’. I tilted my head forward to smell it. Crisp. Clean. Just a hint of—

“Are you smelling my shirt?”

I froze, looking over to my left where Julian was leaning back against the black ebony headboard. His hair was smooth and blonde, not a hint of dirt in sight. He wore a snug white t-shirt, much like the one I had on, and dark jeans. His feet were bare, and as crazy as it sounded, he actually had attractive feet. Was that even a thing? The bed we were sitting on had an ivory comforter. The walls were white. Startlingly so.

We were sitting like nothing had happened, clean as could be. I was confused as hell, but the first thing out of my mouth was, “Yup. Sue me.”

Julian cracked one of those rare grins and shook his head. “I have better things in mind,” he said huskily. My inner succubus purred and leaned toward him, but Bandit was having none of it. A disgruntled grumble sounded from behind my head and the air whistled past my hair as something just barely skimmed my scalp, and Bandit, now back to his normal size, was sitting on my lap.

“Bandit,” I breathed happily. He looked up at me with those unnatural eyes. Blue with pentagrams, but past the blue and black fur, he was still my Bandit. Wiggling eyebrows and all. “He’s small again,” I said, having trouble asking the right question. My raccoon clawed at my shirt as he pushed himself closer and reached up to wrap his paws around my neck. I scooped him up in my arms, holding him there.

“Apparently the raccoon can now change his size, along with breathing fire,” Allistair said. I looked up to see him standing in the doorway. “You must have imbued him with your magic, you or the beast.”

“Mhmm,” I drawled. “And coming back to life—did my magic do that to him too?” Bandit cuddled closer, letting out a purr.

“We’re not sure,” Julian answered. “I think it has something to do with him being your familiar.” I scratched behind his ear while I thought about that.

“Does that mean Moira can’t die either?”

If it did, that was one less thing to worry about in Hell. She was a banshee with the powers of the legion now, but she wasn’t unkillable. Unless somehow the bond with me was what saved Bandit and could save her too.

“We’re not sure,” Julian repeated again. Firmer this time.

I rolled my eyes and filed that away under things we never test. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. Somehow, I still came out of the transition with my soul and my familiars intact. That had to count for something.

“So…” I trailed off. “What happens now?”

Wasn’t that the question of the day. What happens? Where do we go next? I suppose with both Moira and I having gone through the transition, the logical step was likely Hell. But what would we do there? And what about Sin and this mysterious master she keeps warning me about?

The question and uncertainty of it all made my head hurt.

Allistair cleared his throat in the doorway. “That’s something we need to discuss, but first—hungry?”

He wore low-slung jeans that fit his hips well. This was the first time I’d seen him in anything so informal, without a shirt, no less. Not that I was complaining. He crossed his tan arms over his chest and the muscles swelled doing funny things to my libido. I licked my lips involuntarily when he tilted his head sideways and the curtain of dark hair moved with him. He arched an eyebrow in question.

Shit. He hadn’t meant hungry as in sex. He meant food. Like, real food.

Of course, after a little group debauchery, my mind went totally to the gutter. Well, mine and the beast’s. While I turned my face away to hide the scarlet that was no doubt creeping across my cheeks, she didn’t give a damn at the forwardness of our assumption. In fact, she was more than a little eager for that, but we had things to discuss.

After that…well, I’m not a saint.

“I’ll take some coffee, if that’s alright.” He nodded and turned to leave, giving me a nice view of his backside. Julian let out a small growl and I glared at him. Arrogant, possessive shit.

“Last I checked, you all agreed to this arrangement, and you really didn’t seem to mind sharing back at the cabin,” I grumbled.

Bandit started wheezing again as he let go of my neck and rolled backwards onto my lap. Damn raccoon. He was laughing. Was that a thing? Could raccoons laugh?

I guess he could, just like he could breathe fire and change size.

“I chose to be bound to you of my own free will, just as you have chosen the four of us as mates. Does that mean you will always do what we ask? Clearly not, or you wouldn’t have almost died on me.” I swallowed hard. How was it that he could take an offhand comment and make it something so deep and raw? “Just as that doesn’t mean that we won’t have our issues with possessiveness. Demons don’t naturally share, Ruby. The most powerful of us form harems, yes, but most are for strength. Not…this.”

Ahh, and we have now come to the heart of it.

“But you want this,” I said.

He nodded. “I do. Just as Rysten, Laran, and Allistair do. We are males in our own right, and while they may be my brothers in guarding you, sharing your bed won’t always be easy.” He paused, running a hand across his jaw. “But most things in life aren’t.”

I took a deep breath and let it out, feeling my shoulders relax a little.

“We’ll find a way to make it work,” I said, sounding surer than I probably should be about this. “Make it…fair.” I liked the sound of that. Apparently, Julian did too because he grunted in acceptance and moved to stand.

“That’s all I ask. I’ll leave you two to talk.” With that, he walked out of the room, nearly plowing over Moira in the process as she came into my line of site. She side-stepped around him, drawing in her massive wings. It was an awkward motion, but leagues better than I would have expected from a girl who only had them a few weeks.

Being trapped in the underground may have forced her to learn. The thought settled over me like a grey cloud, leeching away the ease I had been feeling.

“How’re you doing?” she asked. She wore a white tank top and her dark green hair was pulled into a messy top knot, two dark blue horns sticking out in front of it.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” I answered softly. She pressed her lips together and looked away. “I’m sorry, I—”

“Don’t,” Moira replied swiftly. She sighed and placed a small hand over my arm. “Please don’t apologize. You didn’t know that would happen. It’s not your fault.”

“We were down there because of me—”

“Ruby,” she insisted. Her tone was stern but edged with weariness. “The demons didn’t trap me. I wasn’t kept in a cage. I was...” she paused, swallowing hard. “I thought I died at first. I could walk and talk and touch —but no one knew I was there. No one but Bandit and one of the Hellhounds they kept caged. I ate their food. Smashed their liquor. I even slapped one of them, but no one could interact with me. They thought I was a ghost.” There were shadows in her eyes as she looked at everything but me. Her posture was too stiff as she rocked back and forward on her feet. Being down there may not have killed her, but there were walls around her mind now. Walls around her heart. Walls where there shouldn’t have been, not with me.

“I don’t know what to say,” I told her truthfully. I had no idea what I was supposed to say if she wouldn’t let me say I was sorry. “I feel like it’s my fault for why you were down there, and while the Horsemen carted me off, you were stuck—”

“I wasn’t stuck,” Moira said. She turned to the side and lifted one flaming wing. I blinked once and swallowed.

“That’s a rune.”

“I think Donnach used his Fae mojo so that I couldn’t leave. Bandit has one like it on the bottom of his back-left paw.” She turned again, tucking her wing around herself.

Was it a subconscious act? Did she realize how her mannerisms had changed already?

I didn’t know, but I sure as shit wasn’t comfortable with the red-colored rune on her upper back. I didn’t speak the language of the Fae, either race, but the mark that looked like a bird cage wasn’t hard to understand.

“So, he spelled you to keep you and Bandit there. How? I was watching him the entire time—”

“I’ve thought a lot about that, and the only time I think he could have was when we were transported, before we came to our senses. If Bandit had been paralyzed as well, then we might not have noticed…”

Her logic wasn’t bad, but if it were true…who knows what else he could have done. Where else there could be marks on our skin. I ran a hand over my shoulder, feeling violated even though it wasn’t me he marked.

“It was premeditated. He planned to make sure I would enter the underground and save the Seelie one way or another. I don’t see how he could know that, though,” I sighed. A knock at the door drew my attention. Allistair extended a pale hand holding a steaming cup of black coffee. I took it and smiled gratefully.

“Everything alright in here?” he asked, far too casually. Moira picked a piece of lint off of her leggings, turning aloof. I nodded to him and he turned to leave. “I’ll let you two catch up then…” He trailed off as he awkwardly left.

“What are you thinking?” I asked her, moving to take a seat on the giant white bed. Moira picked at her nails while she weighed her thoughts back and forth. Paranoia and distrust was eating at her.

“It’s going to sound crazy,” she said. I smiled at that.

“I’m sure I’ve done crazier.” A slight grin tugged at her lips, but only for a second.

“I think Eugene was a plant. That the Seelie man somehow orchestrated this entire thing. You trusting the rubrum. Him transporting us to him. Appealing to your humanity to get you to go into Le Dan Bia and release his people…”

She was right. That did sound crazy, but that didn’t mean it was wrong.

“I don’t know how he could have done it. I know that by forcing us to stay there, it was his guarantee you would be forced to come back and deal with them. There’s something missing…” She took a deep breath, gnawing on her lip thoughtfully. I trailed my hand over Bandit’s fur and he rolled onto his back so I could rub his tummy. That red rune she told me about flashed into sight and my hand stilled. A thought clicking that hadn’t been there before.

“You said Bandit was also with you right? That he couldn’t get out?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “They couldn’t see or interact with him anymore than me. When he thought you died, he lost his shit and grew, that was the first time they seemed to notice. They saw me when you crossed over the threshold, so I can only assume that’s when the spell broke on both of us.” She glared over her shoulder at the rune on her back, her arms tightening around herself.

“It’s—”

I choked. Blinking rapidly, I doubled over and coughed hoarsely. Moira walked around the bed and took the cup of coffee out of my hand before I spilled it. She clapped me on the back, waiting until the hacking subsided.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I was trying to tell you it’s—”

I choked again. The coughing came harder as I struggled to breathe. My chest tightened, and a dread settled in me. I knew what happened. Or at least pieces of it. Enough that she knew I would figure it out. That I would piece together what happened with Donnach and her own uncanny timing as she delivered what I thought to be Bandit’s body, moments after we returned from the cabin. We’d just been arguing about me going to find them when she showed up. Julian wasn’t going to let me go. The others probably wouldn’t have either, and then I thought Bandit died and I lost my fucking mind. But if Bandit was trapped there the entire time, she couldn’t have brought me his body, which meant she somehow brought me something that looked and felt like him in every way—and made me think he had died. That Moira was following.

I don’t know how, or why, but she did.

Tears blotted at the corners of my eyes and I stopped trying to fight it. The invisible silence that she’d forced upon me. I wondered if the rune was somewhere on my body. I’d have to look for it later.

“It’s what?” Moira asked me after I’d been sitting in silence. There was no way to tell her the truth, but I didn’t have to feed her lies.

“It’s a mindfuck,” I said. She nodded her head agreeing and handed my coffee over, falling back some into the conspiracies her own mind was spinning. It made my head hurt to think about it. To wonder how far back it started. To deduce where happenstance ended, and Sin’s planning began—her and Donnach. I wasn’t completely sure, but I had an inkling of what she might be, and if I was right—if she was helping Donnach—I took a long drag of coffee and swallowed hard.

“If Donnach did spell you,” I paused as her eyes darkened, “why do you think he did it?”

Moira blinked, trying to follow my change of questioning. Or at least that’s what I thought she was confused about as she squinted a little and furrowed her eyebrows.

“He wanted the Seelie released, obviously.”

“Yes, but that’s short term,” I said, thinking out loud. “The Seelie girl made it sound like it was more. When I asked her why she said, to go back home. What do you think she meant by it?” Again, I had a suspicion, but I didn’t want to be rash in my assumptions.

“Everyone knows the Seelie came from Hell, but what’s that got to do with you saving his sister’s sorry ass from the bait ring? It doesn’t make sense, but I get the impression they don’t want it too either.”

I nodded. We were agreed then. It was Hell she was talking about. Where else could it be? They came from Hell. That was their world, and Lucifer and Lilith booted them out.

It’s not really surprising that they would want back in, but I didn’t see what we’d have to do with it and how me releasing the Seelie played into it. Or really, me having Julian release them since he gave the blood.

We fell into a nice sort of silence. The kind where I gave Bandit belly rubs and he purred so loud it filled the void that might have been awkward otherwise. Moira let out a tired breath and sank back onto the bed beside me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. She stared at her hands as she twisted them round and round.

“Not particularly. You feel guilty and I’m not in a place to comfort you and deal with my own stuff.” She unclasped her hands as if she’d just realized she’d been fidgeting. “It’s a shit situation no matter how we look at it.”

“Yeah, it is,” I agreed. She didn’t want an apology, so I wouldn’t give her one, and I wouldn’t make her be the person to make me feel better after all of this. While I didn’t choose to leave her there, it happened. It fucking sucked, but sometimes life happened that way. Sometimes there are no words. Nothing that can fix it or make it better.

But we can stop from making it worse.

“Do you want to watch a movie together, just me and you?”

She smiled, and for a second, there was light in her again. I knew it wouldn’t last, but neither would the smothering claustrophobia and panic that was eating at her. Just like when we were kids, it would ease again, and while a part of her may change, my Moira was still there. She was stronger than this. Stronger than the shit life threw at us. We both were.

“Sure,” she said.

We moved to the living room and settled in with a large plush throw blanket and grabbed some munchies. Bandit curled in my lap and Moira leaned against me. If someone asked me, I couldn’t tell them what we ended up watching. I don’t think either of us were actually into it, but we stayed that way, the three of us huddled together, because we’d been through the wringer and come out alive.

The guys didn’t come looking for me, and while we never spoke of it later, I appreciated it more than words could say.