“You left them at the underground!” I screeched. It wasn’t a question.

I jumped away from the couch, landing on my still wobbly feet. The plate of bacon tipped off the couch, falling to the floor where no one reached for it. All eyes were on me as I crossed my arms over my chest and glared daggers at Julian. Sure, they were all at fault, but it was Julian that had them call off the search.

Laran. Laran had been the last to come to me in my transition. He had stayed out the longest to search for Moira and Bandit, but it appeared they were gone. Except I knew that couldn’t be true because they were my familiars, and if they were in pain at any point, I would have felt it…wouldn’t I?

Shit. Shit. Ball-licking bastards—

“I can assure you I don’t lick balls,” Allistair inserted.

I rounded on him with my cup of coffee still in hand and did the only thing I could think of.

I threw it at him.

I threw my perfectly good, hot coffee at his face and stood my ground. I didn’t even have the fucks to give to run like I probably should have.

“You bastards left them there!” I yelled.

Something flickered deep inside me; not the beast, and not the bonds with the Horsemen. Something else. Someone else.

I pushed it aside, almost positive it wasn’t Bandit.

“We didn’t want to leave them, Ruby, but you needed your other mates—” Julian tried to interject.

“We seemed to be getting along just fine without them,” I snapped. Okay, maybe not the greatest insult ever, but I was so beyond angry. Moira and Bandit were out there somewhere, probably scared and lonely and—

“I highly doubt the raccoon is scared or lonely, love. He’s a wild animal. He can survive outdoors.” Rysten’s words did nothing to calm me. I knew he didn’t like Bandit, but I didn’t give a shit. “And the banshee is a legion now. She can take care of herself—”

“You left my familiars in an underground fighting ring that takes pleasure in killing. Do you even understand the gravity of this situation?” I asked, true hysteria creeping into my voice.

“We didn’t abandon them,” Laran started. I turned to him, my hands clenched at my sides, not amused in the slightest if this was some kind of joke. Whatever he had to say, it better be good. “We called in a friend of ours to find them. If anyone can do it, she can.”

She? Something ugly touched my chest. Jealousy.

Allistair chuckled under his breath, despite the coffee dripping down his body.

“What the hell is so funny to you?” I snapped at him.

“You. I can’t believe you’re feeling jealous after the two weeks we’ve just had,” he continued laughing under his breath, but my insides furled at the horror in his statement.

“They’ve been trapped in the underground for two weeks?” My voice didn’t rise this time. There was no hysteria. Only the bone chilling cold of what I’d done.

Moira, who had been so scared she could barely move when we went down there…she was trapped. I just knew it. Why else would they not be able to find them?

“We don’t know they’re down there.” I heard the words but tasted the lie beneath them.

“Where else would they be?” I replied coldly, all but calling him on it.

“They could have escaped, love—” Rysten stopped talking when my dark gaze flicked to him.

“You don’t believe that any more than I do.”

“I’m sure they’re fine—” Allistair started to say and I finally snapped.

“Don’t tell me that!” My head spun as power gathered inside me. Fire licked at my skin, burning away all the unmentionable substances coating it. “Stop telling me what to think or how to feel because you guys fucked up. Again. You knew better than to leave them down there. I would rather transition and be in pain than have you abandon them down there. You fucking knew,” my head swung around savagely to stare at Julian. He did know, but he also cared so little for most things outside of me, his brothers, and his duty, that it wasn’t at the forefront of his mind during our time together. He had such an easy time making the call, he didn’t even regret it.

“You left my best friend and Bandit in an unfamiliar city. The Gates of Hell, no less. You left them in one of the nastiest fighting rings on the continent, where either one or both could be…”

My throat closed up. I couldn’t afford to think like that. I couldn’t afford to let anger or jealousy or anything else cloud what I needed to do.

The atmosphere in the room quieted.

I stormed off down the hallway and into the first bedroom I saw.

My mind was racing through a million scenarios as I ripped open the drawers before me. I dressed without thinking or feeling…no, that was a lie. I couldn’t not feel, but what I did…it hurt. The Horsemen had done a lot of crazy and stupid things. I had too, but this decision stung like betrayal.

It’s not like they didn’t know she was there, or Bandit. They knew, and they still chose to leave. No matter the reasoning, that was unacceptable. Moira wasn’t just my familiar, she and Bandit were my goddamn family and if they couldn’t learn what the hell that meant, then I wasn’t going to waste my breath.

“Where are you going?”

I couldn’t see them, but I knew which one asked. Only one of them would phrase it in such a way as to make me question myself. They knew what I was going to do, and somehow, he made it sound like a threat.

“I’m leaving, Death,” I spat. “Someone has to go find Moira and Bandit.”

Part of me felt like I was being a bit harsh. I mean, the beast was the one that brought them, and I was the one who wanted to go down there and deal with Le Dan Bia to begin with, but that didn’t excuse the blatant disregard for their lives. It didn’t excuse that Moira may be down there being tortured, or worse…

Someone rested a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged them off, pulling a tank top over my head. On top of the dresser, a stack of hair ties sat. I stole two and pulled back my ratty hair. It could really do with a good wash, but that would have to wait. Moira was out there somewhere, and Bandit too.

“Ruby.” Another hand grasped at my shoulder and I tried to shove them off. Once again, whatever strength I had before was gone. Maybe that was one of the powers I wouldn’t get to keep. That kind of sucked if it was the case, but it’s not like I got to pick and choose. That’s life for you.

Rysten stepped directly in front of me as I moved to the doorway. I knew it was him by the pentagram on his chest and the white brand on his arm. It looked like some sort of biohazard symbol with rings encircling it. I stopped before running smack into his chest, but I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to. Rysten was sweet and kind and…manipulative. He knew what it meant to be human. He knew how to play with my emotions better than any of them. Twenty minutes and enough self-doubt and they’d be trying to lock me away again, convincing me they could sort out this mess. I wasn’t having it. Not now and not ever.

“Ruby, love, I’m not trying to manipulate you,” he whispered. He lifted one hand to the side of my face in a sweet gesture, his thumb brushing over my cheek. I stupidly leaned into him before I could stop myself. Slapping his hand away, I shook him off and took a step back.

“Don’t ‘love’ me, Pestilence. She’s my best friend, and Bandit’s…well, pet doesn’t quite cover it, but he’s important. They’re family, and I’m not leaving them out there while I finish the transition.”

Rysten sighed deeply and someone stepped up beside him. I lifted my chin just enough to see his honey-colored eyes.

“If you try to put me to sleep, I’m castrating you, Famine,” I growled. A little bit of the beast crept through despite the blood binding. With my transition coming to an end, the spell must be weakening.

“I’m not going to put you to sleep—” He broke off abruptly and both he and Rysten turned around as one.

What were they doing?

Julian was gone first with the others hot on his heels. I stood there dumbfounded.

Was this all a joke to them? Did they think it was funny?

I followed after, prepared to give them a piece of my mind if—

I stopped dead in my tracks because standing in the living room was none other than the girl from Voodoo Doughnut. I say girl, but her eyes held a lifetime or sorrow with the hardness to withstand it. She wore dark fighting leathers splattered in blue. Demon blood. My thoughts went silent when I saw what she was carrying in her arms.

My heart stuttered once. Then twice.

It was a lump of fur, both blue and black. His head lolled to the side, and though his limbs were shaking, they were losing energy fast.

Water pricked at my eyes as I ran to him. Because I knew. I knew deep, deep down what this meant.

I stopped a few feet away and the Horsemen remained silent. Failure ripped at their hearts. It wrapped around them, squeezing so tight it—

I pulled away from them. I didn’t want to hear it. To see it.

“Give him to me,” I demanded. My voice shook with pain and loss and a sorrow that very soon would consume me. The silver-eyed woman walked forward and placed him in my arms.

A prickle of life flared inside him as she handed him over, but it wasn’t enough. It wouldn’t be. With him in my arms, I could see the deep gashes and red blood that his fur had hidden.

The woman spoke, but I didn’t hear it.

I registered that the Horsemen were talking. Saying something.

But I didn’t hear it.

Someone had hurt him.

Someone had killed him.

I looked at my familiar. My raccoon. My Bandit.

And my heart broke as the last sliver of life left his eyes.

I could heal a soul, but I couldn’t save a body.

I could burn the earth, but I couldn’t save him.

And in that moment, I knew that a part of me was going to be forever changed.

I readjusted him in my arms, unable to see much of anything past him through the blurry tears in my eyes. Placing one hand on his chest, I pushed forward whatever energy I could. Wishing his soul healing and peace as the light faded from him.

It was blue, the same color as my own.

And when it died…

Something inside my chest unfurled, dark and ugly.

Someone was going to pay for this.

Someone was going to die.

“Who did this?” The voice that came out of my mouth didn’t sound human, but it wasn’t the beast. This was fury that she would let me act on alone.

The woman stepped forward, her face unreadable. Impassive.

“I found him in the underground hosted by Le Dan Bia. They put him in the pit with a hellhound and...” The woman looked to the Horsemen behind me, not wanting to say what I had already put together. “Moira asked me to bring him back to you before he left this world.”

Though grief and despair had me, my mind pulled apart the pieces of information I needed. I was correct that they had never escaped Le Dan Bia. How the Horsemen had never found them…I wasn’t sure what to think of that. Only that there was more at stake than setting a precedent. They had killed him, and Moira hadn’t come back.

Why?

“Why isn’t she with you?” I asked.

Question. Information. The pounding in my chest told me I only had a small grasp on the fire itching to leap out at them.

The Horsemen had left him. I had left him.

The pounding quickened.

“She was trapped in a cage, but alive. I could not bring him back and save her. She asked me to bring him so that you could say goodbye.” I grimaced. Moira had chosen to stay in her own nightmare, so I could see Bandit one last time.

A small light filled me at the selflessness of that act.

I would save her, and I would kill every single one of them doing it.

“Ruby, you need to think about this—” Julian placed a hand on my shoulder that I stepped away from, a cold resolve settling over me.

“We may be bonded, but you are not my keeper,” I snapped. A tendril of something far from sanity was wrapping its way around me. Around my words. I didn’t try to push away that sliver of darkness. That sliver of shadow and night that Rysten had branded onto my very soul.

“It’s not safe,” Julian insisted. He tried to take a step forward, but one dark look from me was all it took to stop him in his tracks.

“You do not get to decide what is safe or not anymore. You have failed.” There was a hardness inside of me that would not break under him. Under any of them. “I am the heir. I am Lucifer’s daughter. Not you.” He flinched under my words like I’d struck him. In truth, that would have been kinder. “They took him from me. They killed him, and I am not going to stand by and just let that go. I’m not going to let them take Moira too.”

There was something scratching and clawing and screaming inside of me now.

Vengeance.

“Le Dan Bia are going to learn what it means to cross the Queen of Hell, and you can stand with me as my mate or you can continue to sulk, but I’ve made my choice.”

With that, I turned to the strange woman with silver eyes and white hair. The purple ends were flecked with blood. Blue and Red.

She stepped up holding out a hand. A silent gesture that she would take me where I wished to go. As far as the Horsemen were concerned, I had no idea who she was. Clearly, they knew more of her than they’d clued me into. So, I guess I wasn’t the only one keeping secrets.

“Wait,” Julian said. I paused and only half turned to him.

His jaw twitched with anger. I knew with great certainty he was itching to argue and then fuck me six ways to Hell. Now wasn’t the moment, and he knew that.

He felt it. My grief. My rage. My despair.

He felt it all because of that damned blood bond he’d forced on me.

And it was coming back to bite him.

“Yes?” I asked, my voice as cold as the bite of death that clung to us. Him and I.

“We’re coming with you.” That’s all he said. No apology. No groveling. No brave words or promises he couldn’t keep.

He was coming with. Him and my other mates. I looked from one to the other, waiting for looks of affirmation from each of them.

Maybe they knew I didn’t want words. That there was nothing any of them could say to make this better. Only actions. I wanted to see that they would stand by me. That they would fight with me. That in the end, they would not attempt to stop me.

Because even if they tried, they couldn’t.

Not right now. Not when my emotions were so far gone, and a whisper of insanity was beginning to wrap around my pain-filled soul.

No. Right now there was only one thing that would make it better.

That was the blood of my enemies.

They moved quickly, dressing themselves much as I had. Dark jeans. Strong boots. My flimsy tank top wasn’t ideal for what was to come, but I was very much aware of the fire pulsing beneath my skin. These clothes likely wouldn’t last long.

Neither would Le Dan Bia.

And very soon, the legions of Hell would know that their Queen was not simply a girl that ran, but a living, breathing woman who wasn’t afraid to burn the rot of evil out from whatever cesspool it came from.

I was done running. I was done hiding.

I was done holding back.