Shadows danced in the candlelight when I came to. I laid there for a moment, in that strange in-between state where I was awake but not fully, staring at the shades of black and grey as they swayed from side to side. There was something so peaceful about it, but that didn’t resonate with me. Not this time. Not with my body wound tight as a spring, coiled and waiting for release.

Where am I?

I rolled over, pausing midway. Lantern-like orbs hung from the ceiling, emitting a soft glow. Tiny, twinkling lights blinked in and out of existence—absorbing me with their simple beauty. I leaned up, reaching for one with an outstretched hand.

“How are you feeling?”

I jumped. The voice that spoke was low, rich, adding an ember of seduction to the peace and tranquility. I followed it to the end of the bed where Allistair sat watching me in the silence. My hand dropped to my lap and I pushed the crimson sheets away, trying to ignore the soft texture between my fingers and the way it brushed my thighs.

My bare thighs.

I blinked.

“Where did my jeans go?” My throat was dry as the Sahara and my words came out in a rasp. I swallowed hard, over the thickness that was building. It was suffocating, and in the sweltering heat that continued to plague me, downright delirious.

“You burned them,” he replied. That voice sent a shiver down my spine. “Moira dressed you while you slept. She thought you might feel most at home in…minimal clothing.” His eyes roved over the pale flesh of my legs, past the plain black boyshort underwear, and up my very fitted shirt. My arms broke out in goosebumps and I clasped them across my chest, hoping he couldn’t see my taut nipples through the thin material.

The predatory flash of his eyes and upturn of his lips said it all.

“Where is Moira? And why are you here? I thought you were dealing with—”

“Moira is out. Pestilence took her down to Bourbon Street to try and enjoy herself. We told her if your familiar is stressed, it will make the transition harder. I thought you would appreciate the small lie so that she would not be here feeling all of what happens next.” He took a deep breath and stood to remove his suit jacket. “As for me, I would think that’s quite obvious. You can’t last more than a few moments without trying to feed and I am the only incubus among us. We are going to…rectify this situation.”

What the actual fuck?

I jumped up from the bed, but my legs got tangled in the sheets. I slipped on the cool stone floor, only catching myself after I landed on my ass. Legs splayed and arms bracing me, my position was utterly compromising from where Allistair stood. I jerked my head, flicking my long blue locks out of the way so I could glare at him properly.

“Rectify? You’re not rectifying shit, asshole,” I snapped, trying to crawl backwards, away from his probing gaze. Well over six feet tall and standing not five feet away, he could have ogled my breasts that were spilling out of my low cut tank top, but he didn’t.

He kept those golden eyes on mine and lifted one eyebrow in question.

“We’re back to this?” he asked lightly. Indignation swept through, but I didn’t respond. Too scared of the words that might come out. “I see,” he murmured lightly as he undid his cuffs links. “Well, why don’t you tell me what you want?” he continued conversationally as he began to unbutton his shirt.

I swallowed hard, but the words didn’t come.

Need and want were beating at me like a fucking battering ram, but I didn’t want to give in. Not like this. Not when he—

“You knocked me out,” I breathed, my anger and need going head-to-head.

What was wrong with me?

“I did what I had to,” he said matter-of-factly. “War had this room specially prepared for your transition, and with you coming into it so quickly, we thought it best to move you early. Try to take the bite off before things get underway.”

I grit my teeth, snapping my legs shut as I moved to stand. Of course Allistair was there. Offering his hand like the perfect gentlemen. I slapped him away, grimacing when he stumbled back several feet.

Fucking strength.

Fucking transition.

Fucking Horsemen thinking they could decide what’s best for me.

And Moira? Had she really gone along with this?

Sweat trickled down my back as the fever climbed to all new heights. I was going to die from dehydration before anyone stuck their dick anywhere.

“Ruby, I know that it’s difficult for you to be rational right now, but I need you to trust me,” Allistair crooned. It took him no time at all to recover and approach me again, using his lovely voice in an attempt to subdue me.

Bastard thought pretty words would fix it? Think again.

He wasn’t the first of our kind I’d had to deal with.

“Trust you?” I breathed harshly. “You knocked me out against my will and brought me devil knows where”—I waved my hand around the room, only then noticing the assortment of instruments on the far wall—“without my permission. I don’t have to do anything you motherfucki—”

“Let me take the edge off so we can discuss this somewhat rationally,” Allistair interrupted. The button-up shirt he wore slipped from his shoulders, falling to the ground haphazardly. It probably cost more than my mortgage, but he didn’t give a damn. His gaze remained on me as he padded forward, barefoot and now shirtless, wearing only black slacks and cool arrogance.

I glowered at him and turned to look for a door in far corner of the room, making every attempt to step around Allistair. He grabbed my hand before I could make it two feet, snapping me back to him like a ball attached to a string. I hit his chest with a thump.

Anger. Desire. Betrayal. Want. Fear. Need.

They swirled together like the winds of an incoming storm. My desperation heightened as the beast inside me thrashed with rage. I didn’t understand what was going on. I couldn’t process it.

Couldn’t process anything.

Moira had left me with them to—to—fuck them.

Brand them.

Submit to them.

Transition with them.

I couldn’t understand it. Wouldn’t understand it.

They had not earned the right to be the demons that brought me over. In fact, they had taken that choice from me. Assuming they could push the issue. Push me.

“I have no desire to push you or take your choice away, Ruby, but if someone doesn’t take the edge off, you will hit the transition in a very bad place, even more confused than you are now. If that is what you wish, then I will take a seat right over there.” He motioned to a large overstuffed armchair on the other side of the room. Beside it was a rack of restraining equipment. Collars, leather and metal bindings, varying lengths of leash with clips on the end—all hung from the pegs on the wall. “And I will remain until you tell me otherwise. However, I don’t think that’s what you really want.”

Once again, my insides liquefied just being in close proximity to him. This back and forth within was giving me whiplash, making me all the more desperate to find my way back to sanity. If only the burning would cease…

Long elegant fingers trailed up and down my sides in a motion that should have been soothing, but wasn’t. My skin had become hypersensitive in the time I slept. His fingers would have only been the barest of a brush before, but now funneled fire and heat into my veins and through every essence of my being.

“Will it stop?” I breathed, pressing my hands against the contoured planes of his chest. My breath was coming in short, fast bursts and he was barely touching me. Maybe this wasn’t the worst idea…

“Stop? No,” he replied, straight to the point. “Lessen? Yes. You should have a short reprieve where you can think about this with a clearer head.” His heart shuddered beneath my palm, but the stroke of his thumb around the underside of my breast was steady.

Control. Allistair was very much in control.

Me? Not so much.

I slid my hands up his chest, running my fingertips along the edges of scars that had long since faded. A heady swelter built inside me, making my legs sway. I reached my hands around the back of his neck and gripped the firm muscle, digging my nails into despicably soft hair. Why couldn’t it feel like a porcupine? That would make this so much easier. Of course the incubus had to have hair more luscious than mine.

“No sex. I’m clearly not thinking right.” I gripped him tighter, but his head didn’t move an inch. I guess that newfound strength was as unreliable as my fire. “You teach me to feed and that’s it. You hear me?” My words would have sounded a lot bolder were I not panting from the feel of him pressed against me.

“I think you will find that feeding can be quite addictive,” Allistair mused as he slipped his fingertips under my shirt, teasing the soft flesh. I gasped, and he chuckled.

Prick.

“Answer the question.”

I wasn’t willing to close my eyes and give myself into this without his word. Maybe I shouldn’t be so trusting, given we were demons and all, but he was Famine. One of the Four Horsemen. There was no law I could hold him to, no promise I could make him keep. No matter how this went down, I had to trust that he meant what he said, because at the end of it, he was the only one that could hold himself to it.

“No sex this time. You have my word,” Allistair replied. His lips twisted into an arrogant smirk as his hands continued their light ministrations. I groaned, both in frustration and desire. Satan damn him. He was going to be my undoing and we were barely even started.

You know what, though? Two could play at that.

I drew him in and Allistair leaned closer, allowing me better access as I brushed my lips across his jaw. His hands paused around my waist and I wriggled my hips a little, pushing my lower stomach against him. His erection twitched and the breath hissed between his lips.

“What are you doing, little succubus?” he breathed. I paused, noting the dangerously low tone of his voice. Like maybe I had pushed him too far, but the beast inside didn’t think this was anywhere near far enough.

I moved my hands to either side of his shoulders and pushed.

His body yielded, stumbling back onto the bed and falling softly onto those blood red sheets. I didn’t wait for his shock to wear off as I straddled his lap. The beast hummed a nod of approval as I wrapped my arms around him and ground my hips into the hard erection beneath me.

The fever-induced delirium blotted out all sense of rationality. I quickly forgot the point I was making and instead sought something infinitely more primal.

Release.

Allistair was the first to move, sweeping up to kiss me so hard our teeth clanked. A normal person might have stopped to think that this bestial urge came out of nowhere once again, but as his tongue parted the seam of my lips, all resistance flew out of my mind.

I groaned. This man kissed like a God. I always thought myself a good kisser, but Allistair wasn’t like the sloppy boyfriends I’d had the last few years. He pried me apart with such expert precision I didn’t realize I’d finally relaxed and was losing myself in him until I was already gone. Those skillfully long fingers wrapped around my wrists. He drew my arms behind my back where he switched his grip and held both wrists in one hand.

I struggled against him, testing my own strength. Once again, it was gone, leaving me a not very reluctant prisoner to an incubus with a free hand and many more lifetimes’ worth of practice.

“Much better,” he purred.

I shuddered at the way his voice floated over my skin. I’d underestimated him. He wasn’t just some jo-schmo incubus off the street. He was pure seduction. Raw desire. His skin itself was a powerful enough aphrodisiac to make even the strongest woman lose her mind.

All this time I’d been worried about taking his choice away when he could have so easily taken mine. My body trembled with uncontrollable desire.

“What are you doing to me?” I muttered as his free hand slipped underneath the back of my thigh, pulling my arms tighter, my back arching as I was pulled up onto my knees. Fingers skated over my skin with feather light touches. He cupped my ass, squeezing it like he couldn’t help himself as his hips rolled up, barely skimming me. My lips parted in a low moan as sensation wrapped around me, and I wouldn’t let go.

Devil save me. I was going to need to feel a whole hell of a lot more to get my release, but at this rate I would be begging for him to just fucking do it.

“Allistair.” I bit his bottom lip in warning and sucked. He tasted of blood and scotch, a spiced tang that could make me high. He groaned, and my traitorous body tried to inch closer even as he tightened his hold, eliminating any wiggle room I might have had.

“So savage, little succubus. Is it pain that you’re craving?”

“Are you going to show me how to feed, or keep being a twatwaffle—”

His hand slipped between us and rubbed through the material of my boyshorts. My eyes rolled back in my head as my hips followed his command.

“I asked you a question, Ruby. No need to be rude.”

His voice lulled me deeper into the desperate haze, my fever inching higher with every point of contact between us. The sound of him. The smell of him. The feel of him. All of it sent me spiraling into a version of me that I had never known. I was passion. I was desire. I was burning.

“I need an answer. Is it pain you are craving, or will you submit to me while I teach you how to feed?”

His torturous fingers slid further between my legs, hooking a single one through the thin strip of cotton. It brushed across my bare skin, feeling the dampness there as his did it.

“I submit to no one,” I groaned.

“Ruby,” he said in warning. “I’m losing my fucking mind right now wanting to be inside you. We both need to feed, and you asked me not to screw you six ways to Hell. Which means you have two options”—he paused to rub the back of his finger against my entrance and my hips gently swayed with him—“You either submit to me, or I bring Julian in here and you will submit to him. What’s it going to be?”

The beast inside me wanted them all. At the same time.

She was a filthy slut that way.

I wasn’t sure I would survive them both at once. Let alone four.

But the thought did have its merits…

I groaned as Allistair rubbed back and forth, teasing.

“I don’t need pain right now,” I bit out. Allistair smirked, but he wasn’t letting me off so easily.

“Then what will you do?” he asked softly.

We were back to this. Of course, we were fucking back to this.

“I’ll…” He arched an eyebrow. Daring me to say it. It was almost enough to rile the beast, but that wasn’t what I wanted right now. “I’ll do as you ask,” I said eventually.

For a moment I thought he was going to keep pushing until he heard what he wanted, but even Allistair was not patient enough for that. He crooked his finger and tore the fabric of my panties straight down the middle in one swift motion.

“Very well,” he said with a bite in his tone as he bared me to the air. “You are going to come. Hard. And when you do, I am going to feed on your sexual energy. It’s going to feel like a tug, but do not worry. We’ve done this before.”

Without warning, he plunged two fingers inside of me and I cried out in shock. He didn’t miss a beat as he started pumping them in and out, slowly building a rhythm. My blood sizzled with the scorching desire that flooded me.

A thick cloud of smoke began to form around him, shimmering like molten gold. His thumb pressed against my clit and the smoke drifted outward, molding around us. Shaping us. It fanned my skin, making the hairs tingle with energy. I shuddered against his fingers and they didn’t relent.

“More,” I breathed as I tried to writhe on his lap, but Allistair didn’t give an inch. My back arched with my arms securely behind me and his grip kept me pushed up onto my knees as I tried to take all that he would give. Allistair hummed in approval, leaning down to press his mouth to my right nipple.

“You know the rules.”

Sucking it hard, he whorled his tongue around the peak, inching me higher and higher as his fingering slowed. His thumb made lazy circles around my sensitive nub, giving me enough pressure to drive me crazy, but never tip over the edge.

I growled at him and the bastard bit me. My aching core constricted, desperately reaching for my release, and I let out a groan in frustration that bordered on a cry.

“Say my name when you come.”

Possessive bastard.

“Yes,” he snapped. “I am.”

I didn’t even have time to reply before he left a trail of suckling kisses across my chest. He nipped at my other nipple and sucked it sharply, twisting his fingers simultaneously.

“Allistair!” I shouted. My body convulsed around him, tightening on his fingers where they still pushed greedily inside me as he took all of my pleasure and then some. Just when I thought the high would drop, there was that tug, suspending me in bliss. I ignited and the room itself shook with me.

All too soon the suspended orgasm ceased, leaving me wiped and yet…as Allistair released my arms and allowed me to drop on his lap, the coarse material of his slacks rubbed me where his hard cock strained beneath it. I pushed into him, enjoying the deep groan that I didn’t so much as hear, but felt.

He wanted me. So why was he denying himself?

Allistair reached down and grasped me by the hips, lifting me off him with ease and leaning over to place me on the floor in front of him.

“What are you—”

“Get on your knees.” I blinked at the tone in his voice. It was deeper than usual. Huskier. Almost more…desperate.

I sat back on the cold floor, in-between his spread legs.

My heart hammered against my chest as I stared up at him from below. I’d never considered myself submissive in any way, but this side of him intrigued me. The side where I could almost feel him coming…unhinged. He wore his arrogance with a swagger that few could manage, but beneath it I sensed a desperation. His control was more for himself than for me.

“Will this do?” I asked softly.

“Yes.”

I wanted to shudder as the gold dust around us pressed against my skin, tingling everywhere it touched. I swiped my tongue out over my bottom lip, tasting his blood mixed with something potent. Something…delicious.

“What you are tasting is called kama. It’s the sexual energy that feeds our kind.” His words hazily made their way into my brain as the curling gold particles pulled me to him. Urging me to come closer. Take more.

“Kama…” I muttered. “Like Kama Sutra?”

Allistair chuckled. “The very same.”

I lifted a hand toward him, letting it hover only inches away. The shiny yellow substance coated my fingers and brought them to my face to examine. It really did look like gold dust. Tentatively, I raised my forefinger to my lips and licked the gold powder off. An insatiable urge hit me and I wrapped my lips around that finger, groaning deeply while I sucked it dry.

“Enough,” Allistair snapped, drawing my attention back to him. I stared up, biting my forefinger softly. His pupils dilated and a low growl started in his chest. “It’s not polite to toy with others of your kind, little succubus.”

There was that edge to his voice that I remembered. The crisp cut of words sharp enough to sting flesh, but made a girl crave more.

“You’re the one that keeps turning me down, Famine.”

It wasn’t entirely me that let that slip out. The beast was very, very close to the surface and through his own need I wasn’t sure Allistair saw it. His nostrils flared and his pupils continued to grow. Darker. Fuller. Until there was not a speck of white in his eyes. He looked at me like every bit the Horseman he was. A monster to both worlds.

But so was I, and he did not scare us.

“Unbutton my slacks.”

I stared, slack-jawed for a minute at the forwardness of his request. Wasn’t I the one that had been goading this for weeks? Playing with him. Taunting him. I laid the law for no sex, but I needed to feed and he needed to fuck. That much was clear.

If me sucking my finger made him almost come unhinged…the beast pushed forward and blotted out the last of my hesitations.

I reached out, placing both my hands on his inner thighs, gripping him so I could shuffle forward. He groaned as my hands swept up, running over the tight muscles of his legs, slowly inching towards the hard bulge in his pants. He twitched when my palm slipped over him and I rubbed his hard length up and down twice.

“Unbutton my slacks,” he repeated.

I pinched the zipper between two fingers and dragged it down with exaggerated slowness. Normally, I would have a snappy reply in hand, but it wasn’t so easy when I was breathing in all this gold dust. His…kama. The damn dust made my brain go foggy, making it harder to hold onto thoughts and words when all I wanted to do was screw him. We even had a bed and everything…nope. Nope. I shook my head.

Suck. Not fuck. Got it, Ruby?

When the zipper was halfway down, I paused, and my lips parted as his erection forced it down the rest of the way.

“Commando?” I asked, my voice wasn’t as light as I would have liked it to be. There was too much tension. Too much emotion swirling in my chest. Too much aching between my own legs.

Too much of the beast coming out.

Still, he didn’t acknowledge it.

“I like to be prepared,” he shrugged, but when I trailed a single finger along his length, I didn’t miss the way his body tensed beneath me. I leaned forward, using my tongue to follow the same path as my finger.

He shuddered, and a single glistening drop formed on his tip. I was going to enjoy this very much.

I closed my lips around his swollen head, tasting his saltiness, careful to keep my teeth sheathed. Allistair groaned encouragingly and I took him in. His tip touched the back of my throat, making me gag once, coating my mouth in saliva.

He wrapped a hand around my hair and guided me forward. I went down, taking him deeper.

“Fucking hell, woman—you’re going to kill me,” he growled.

Allistair was not small by any means, but fuck, if he was any bigger I couldn’t take him to the base. As it was, my eyes stung as tears began to form, but this power over him…this sense of what I could do to him—take from him—even while being at his mercy…

It was thrilling. Exhilarating.

It was…I breathed in through my nose and was unprepared for the sudden assault on my senses. I could only describe it as the most sensational experience of my life, where I existed everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. My body tingled with power, energy, kama—I pulled back, letting my tongue sweep across his underside and whorl around the tip. Allistair twitched in my mouth, and to my shock, the aching spot between my thighs throbbed hard.

I lifted my gaze to him, eyes flashing with accusation. While it was my mouth he was taking, his kama made it feel like more. A small smile played on his lips as he watched me.

“Feels much better than you thought it would, doesn’t it?”

My only response was dropping my left hand as I began rubbing myself.

“When I come, my kama will start pouring out. You’re going to need to breathe it in, Ruby. Envision yourself pulling as much as you can inside you,” he said through gritted teeth. I sure as hell didn’t need the encouragement. This was fucking great.

The beast thought so too, but I was so far gone I didn’t notice.

I sucked hard on him, whirling my tongue over the tip one last time before Allistair gripped my hair tighter. As he guided me down, he thrust up once, forcing me back to his base in one go. My eyes burned with tears and my core felt hotter than the flames of Hell as he thrust himself down my throat. I rubbed myself in fevered circles, rapidly approaching my own climax with him.

Oh fuck yes.

I moaned around him, swallowing once more and he came undone. His come hit the back of my throat as he took several shallow thrusts, and then…kama.

As he said, it poured out of him and into me. Seemingly knowing what to do, I breathed in, trying to focus on that as I brushed over my clit and came apart. My fingers went lower, dipping two inside of me, riding out my own climax while taking as much as I could from him.

Spots burst behind my eyes, bright flashes of white against the blackness that took me for a few seconds. When my vision slowly came back, and my body stopped throbbing, I realized I still had my lips wrapped around Allistair and he had yet to let me move.

I started to pull away but had two palms flat against both sides of my head. Holding me there.

Control freak.

“Mine,” a presence growled back.

The possessiveness of it pushed at the beast’s control and she snapped. High on kama and brimming with power, she shot forward. In the mere blink of an eye, she took all control and laid her hand flat against his lower abdomen. Allistair moved to readjust, but she gripped the base of him with the other hand, swallowing around the half-hardened cock in her mouth as it twitched. Allistair dug his hands into her hair, but I don’t think he realized which Ruby he was playing with, not until she pulled on the tiniest seed of flame and poured in on his stomach. The burning slowly started to build. Certainly long enough he should have known what was going on, but he didn’t stop it.

Why didn’t he stop it?

Panic started to build within me, but the beast kept a firm claim on control. I’d made it perfectly clear in her mind that he was an acceptable mate. We were both on the same page, which meant he was hers to claim.

Allistair had to have known this. Had to have somehow realized, and yet his dick hardened, and he held both sides of my face with a fervor. The beast looked up at him with coy eyes, and there was no doubt in my mind. He knew, and he arched into her touch.

The burning in her palm intensified as the magic hit a boiling point. The breath hissed between his teeth as she branded our mark onto him. He let out a harsh groan, pulling her in…pulling her closer...

She pulled back. Her right hand curled where she was branding him, and her left stroked him with powerful thrusts. I would have been scared shitless that I’d accidentally rip his dick off with the strength running in my veins, but the beast wasn’t worried. She used her considerable strength to bring him right to the brink of climax again. Her tongue licked at his head, but just before he could thrust up, she released him and leaned away.

Allistair reached for her, not giving a damn about the blazing blue pentagram that shifted on the “V” of his hips.

He slid one hand into the curve of my neck to guide my jaw, wrapping the other roughly in my hair. I would have let this go on. I knew that in my heart of hearts. I would have sucked him off again, and quite possibly let him take it further.

I would have let him shatter me, as I very well suspected he would have—promises be damned—had a door not just been thrown open.

I blinked and Allistair paused for a fraction of a second. He didn’t ease up on me, but he also didn’t pull me closer.

“I felt the ward straining…” Julian’s voice trailed off at the sight of me, basically nude, face flushed, and lips parted to take the erect cock not six inches from my face. “She’s fed,” Julian surmised. The raw cold that emanated from him sapped the heat right out of me, and with it the beast left too.

I pulled out of Allistair’s grasp, my strength once again temporarily overriding his. My thighs slapped the smooth marble as I toppled sideways, coughing hoarsely. Allistair growled under his breath and Julian stayed at the entry point, arms crossed over his chest. Without a handle and only smooth cream paint, the doorway I hadn’t previously realized was a doorway blended in with the rest of the wall. But clear as day, he stared at me with hard green eyes, unreadable if I were only looking at what my eyes saw. Desire and wariness were the bulk of his feelings, outside the small spark of envy he was still trying to temper.

“See something you want?” I snapped at him, feeling insanely irritable over the jealousy that continued to eat at him. The jealousy that he was choosing to ignore like a fucking child and not a grown male. It just made this whole thing even more complicated and difficult for me to wrap my head around.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, but it wasn’t in the flirtatious way Allistair liked to do things. Julian was honestly still trying to play this game. To act like if we both ignored it, that it would magically go away.

“Never mind,” I coughed leaning back against the wall. Allistair at least had the decency to get up and fetch me a drink. Meanwhile, Julian stood there, his smoldering gaze eating through any and all pretenses of what was really going on here. I rolled my eyes and accepted the glass of amber liquid Allistair offered to me.

“Wha-what is th-this?” I choked out, tipping it back.

“Two-hundred-year old scotch.”

I spluttered for a second and then swallowed it down before coughing even harder than I already was.

“What the actual hell? Why on earth do you think scotch is appropriate when someone’s coughing—”

“Why would I not share my scotch with my mate?” There was a twinkle in his eye as he said it and it confirmed my suspicions. Allistair genuinely wanted to be claimed. Just as Laran had, and just as Rysten still wanted.

But Julian was another story.

He was willfully blind and the kind of jealousy he felt for them would only get worse if it continued. We were supposed to be together forever. Literally until the end of time because they were my protectors. At best, this was going to make our relationship difficult if he kept it up. The beast wanted him. She wanted all of them, but forever was a long fucking time to deal with this nonsense.

I averted my eyes from Allistair and said to no one in particular, “I want a bath. I want to see Moira. Then I want to talk. In that order.”

Julian’s jaw twitched, but otherwise he didn’t let his annoyance show.

“Any other demands?” Allistair snapped, turning standoffish.

I knew it hurt his feelings on some level. That while he had wanted this—I hadn’t seriously thought about it, but my wishy-washy attitude on the subject was a little too late now that the beast went and made another life changing decision. Julian’s presence only served to remind me I needed to think—because as soon as I entered the transition it was all over. That much I was painfully clear on.

“Yeah, actually”—I pointed to the half-full bottle of scotch Allistair was holding—“I want the rest of that. I think I’m going to need it.”