Tia

“What’s wrong?” I’m startled awake by Fallon’s words, and by the time my eyes start to adjust and I’m rolling out of bed, Banks is already gathering his medical bag.

“There’s been an...” Fallon glances at Banks, face tight. “Accident.”

Fear slices through me. After everything that’s happened with my husbands, I don’t think I can handle anything else going wrong.

“Wi-with who?” I choke out the words.

“With the wife of a colleague of mine.”

I relax slightly, grateful it isn’t something with one of my husbands. “What kind of accident?”

Fallon’s jaw twitches and he looks at Banks. “One that they can’t go to the hospital over.”

I don’t know what that means, but I understand secrecy, and that he means to use Bank’s medical knowledge to help his friend’s wife.

“I’ll come too,” I say.

“That’s not a good idea.” Fallon shakes his head.

Banks’ expression is stoic when he says, “Actually, I could use her help. I haven’t slept in several days, and I’m not sure how steady my hands will be.”

I frown at his disclosure. Why isn’t he sleeping?

“Then I’ll come.” I don’t have a clue where we’re going, or what’s happened, but if Banks needs me, then I want to be with him. Plus, I appreciate that he has faith in my abilities, even if it’s minimal.

Fallon drives us through the compound, but he keeps his headlights turned off, and he uses the far roads that don’t go near the security gates.

“Can someone please tell me what’s happened. What I should prepare for.” I shift in my seat, feeling the tension rolling off both men, and I see them look at each other like they’re debating who should tell me.

Fallon clears his throat. “Jeremy and I have been close since we were in aviation training together. He was part of a lottery a couple years ago.”

He goes silent, clearly having a hard time with whatever information he knows.

Finally, he says, “His wife, Lucy, hasn’t been able to carry a baby to term.”

It’s not an unusual situation. But nothing about it justifies pulling Banks out of bed in the middle of the night.

“And?” I ask.

“They found out she was pregnant a couple weeks ago,” Fallon continues, and I see him wince in the rearview mirror. “Genetic testing confirmed that she’s carrying twin girls.”

“Oh.” My stomach rolls, because there hasn’t been a reported case of anyone successfully carrying female multiples to term in years. Almost all cases end in both maternal and fetal death. “Is she miscarrying?”

Fallon stays silent.

“She tried to abort them,” Banks says coldly. “Am I right?”

Fallon nods.

I suck in a breath. Abortions have been illegal for years, the punishment is as strict as first-degree murder.

“There are complications.” Fallon’s knuckles whiten on the steering wheel.

“And they can’t take her to the hospital,” I say under my breath. “Or she’ll be charged.”

But if Banks helps her, he’s implicating himself. Fallon is asking him to put himself in danger.

I don’t like it. Even though I know we have to help her. I understand the fear that would lead her to this end.

Fallon pulls into the driveway of a similar house as ours, and the gate opens to allow us entry.

A tall, blond hair man meets us at the door. He looks beaten down, exhausted, and terrified. “Thank you for coming.”

“Where is she?” Banks asks.

“Come with me.”

We follow him upstairs to a room where five other men are located, one kneeling beside the bed, two crouched against the wall, another one pacing, and the last one holding a deathly pale woman in his arms.

I don’t miss the pile of bloodstained sheets in the corner of the room.

“How long has she been like this?” Banks demands as he does a quick exam, checking the woman’s vitals.

She looks so fragile, and when her eyes flicker open, the light that should be there isn’t. It’s almost like looking at a living corpse.

I shiver.

“Someone answer me,” Banks demands, standing, his voice commanding, and I see some of the men pull back, but still no one responds. “If you want me to help your wife, then I need to know everything.”

“We found her in the bathroom a few hours ago...there was so much blood...” The man who Fallon called Jeremy, says, eyes haunted. “She won’t tell us what she took.”

“I think it was this,” a shorter, dark-haired man says, handing Banks a small vial.

Banks’ nostrils flare when he reads the label, and I see something I haven’t seen from him before, something that looks almost like helplessness.

He hands me the bottle and I understand his reaction. The drug is illegal, a potent synthetic substance that was banned way before abortions were prohibited because of the often fatal side effects.

“You need to leave,” Banks says. “All of you.”

Grudgingly slow, each man moves out of the room.

“Go with them,” Banks says to Fallon. “They’ll need someone to keep their heads together. I’ll...” His jaw twitches. “I’ll do what I can.”

When the others are gone, Banks is quick to take action, and I follow his instructions, but it’s clear from the start that she’s hemorrhaging and no matter how fast Banks works, he isn’t fast enough.

“She should have been taken to the hospital right away,” Banks mutters.

I hold the woman’s hand and smooth back her hair from her cool forehead.

“Lucy, right?” I ask when she opens her eyes and they lock on me. “I’m Tia.”

“I... I couldn’t do it...” she says softly, so much fear in her gaze. “I don’t want to die.”

I catch the look Banks gives me, and know that she might still.

I’m grateful that he doesn’t speak harsh words to her, even though I see the condemnation in his eyes.

Or maybe it’s something else.

Remorse.

Fear.

Despair.

“We’re going to help you,” I say to the woman.

I start an IV and keep talking to her as I insert a dose of pain meds into the tube.

“Are you from Alaska?” I ask, trying to keep her conscious.

“No. I came from Alberta.” Her words are barely audible now. “My sister and I...”

“Your sister is here?” I sit on the edge of the bed and take her hand.

“She... died. Last year. Giving birth to a little girl.” Her eyes close, and I can’t tell if she’s still breathing, her chest doesn't rise and fall.

“Lucy?” I touch her neck, feel the faint heartbeat.

Thank God.

When I glance at Banks who is still working desperately, trying to stop the bleeding, he gives a grim look, then shakes his head.

“She needs surgery,” he says.

I start to stand. “I’ll tell Fallon to call an ambulance.”

When I start towards the door, Banks grabs my hand and says quietly, “She won’t make it.”

My stomach churns.

“We have to do something.”

His eyes squeeze shut momentarily, but when they open again his mask is back, and he’s all professional. “Go tell her husbands to come in. They should be with her during her final moments.”

I choke on his name, “Banks-”

“Don’t let emotion get involved. This isn’t your loss. If you need to break down, you wait until you’re alone. Understand?”

I nod.

“Then go,” he commands, opening the door for me.

Numbly, I walk downstairs and glance at Fallon whose face falls when he sees me, but I can’t worry about him.

These men, they’re about to lose everything.

I swallow and say to the men, “You should go to her.”

Jeremy, the man who met us at the door is the first to stand. “Is she all right?”

“I’m sorry.” It’s all I can say.

His face goes white, but my words have him racing back up the stairs, along with the other husbands.

“Tia,” Fallon says, approaching and placing a hand on my shoulder.

Comfort.

Strength.

And I could easily give into it, to collapse in his arms, but I remember Banks’ words. I need to be strong.

I straighten my shoulders. “There are still things that need to be done.”

“I can take you home.”

“No.” I shake my head, knowing I can’t leave.

It’s not long before Banks comes downstairs, eyes hard. I follow him into the kitchen where he begins scrubbing the blood off his hands and forearms.

I place my palm on his back and he flinches.

“You should go home now,” he says, drying his hands as he turns. “I’ve called the coroner's office. There will be a full investigation, and I don’t want you here when they arrive.”

“What about you?”

“I won’t be implicated in any way.”

Every part of my body, brain, heart wants to pull him into my arms. But his walls are fortified, and I know he’d only reject any show of comfort.

Maybe it would only be for me anyways.

My heart is broken for the woman who lost her life tonight. The two children who would never take their first breath. For the husbands left behind. And for the millions of other women who face the same, often fatal choice.

And for myself.

Because if everything works out, and the hormones Banks gave me work, it’ll be me facing this same reality.

Life or death.

“Tia,” Banks says when I start to leave as if reading my mind, knowing my insecurities. “I won’t let this happen to you. I promise you that.”

I glance back at him, and I know it’s not a promise he can keep. But I take it anyways because I know it’s his way of telling me he cares. Or at least that’s what I choose to believe.

“I don’t want to go without you,” I say.

I look over at Fallon, he’s at the door, ready to leave. “I’ll be in the car, okay?” he tells us.

Banks runs a hand over his smooth jaw, and I know this night has wrecked him in ways he won’t admit.

Two babies died. A mother’s blood is on his hands. My shoulders shake as the weight covers me.

Banks sees that I need him, and while I know he wants to keep me at arm's length, in this early morning hour, the rules are different. Too much has happened to pretend everything is the same between us. I feel weak, and right now, it’s only Banks’ strength I want.

“The investigation can wait, I can answer questions tomorrow,” he says, his voice low and gravely. He’s shaken up.

Maybe he feels weak right now too.

And even though it’s Banks, a man who has shut me out time and time again, tonight has changed things between us and I don’t want to leave this compound without him.

I slip my hand into his, knowing I want so much more than that, but right now, this can be enough. Threading my fingers with his grounds me. And when I look up at him, I see shades of sorrow in his eyes, I know I’m steadying him too.

He risked himself in order to save this woman. He may say he doesn’t care about anyone or anything - but it’s a false front.

And if he’s hiding behind that, what else doesn’t he want me to know?