Banks

Salinger frowns, looking between us when I open the door to my office. With Tia’s face flushed, and her tousled hair, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what we’d just done.

I finally fucked my wife. And it was incredible. There are still so many other things I want to do to her, but they’ll have to wait. My first order of business is making sure I impregnate her. I never thought breeding my wife would be so hot, but with Tia, it is.

“I’m heading home now,” Sal says, brows drawn when his gaze focuses on Tia. “I was just coming to see if you wanted to drive back with me.”

I can’t read his expression, but he looks slightly pissed. Not jealous, just bordering on angry and confused. And I remember Tia’s words last night that she wanted to take a break from sex until she made a decision about getting pregnant.

That we just fucked means she made her choice, and she made it with me.

Sure, he’s pissed. I get it. The whole thing is terrifying, even more for the men whose emotions are involved.

Tia glances over at me. “I, uh... are we...”

“We’ve accomplished enough today,” I say stoically, keeping my walls in place. Just because I fucked her doesn’t mean anything has changed between us. She’s my wife. In all ways now. But if I’m going to do what I set out to accomplish, my heart can’t get involved. “Go home with Sal.”

She sucks in a small breath, and I see a sliver of uncertainty in her gaze, maybe even hurt. If I was Giles or Emerson I might say some touching word to erase her insecurities, but I’m not.

I’m me.

Cold.

Calculating.

Controlled.

“What the hell is this?” Salinger says, picking up the half-empty vial and syringe that I left on the counter and reading the label.

“It’s a fertility drug,” I answer.

Salinger’s fingers clamp around the small bottle, and he says to Tia, “So you made the decision without us, again.”

“You know it’s the only way,” Tia says, moving towards him and placing a hand on his arm.

But Sal’s eyes lock on mine. “If something happens to her--”

“It won’t.” It’s a promise I can’t keep. But one that he and the others need to hear.

“I mean it, Banks. I’m not sure what game you’re playing here, but I swear to fucking god, I’ll hold you personally responsible if...” His jaw clenches and emotions burn in his eyes.

“Sal.” Tia rests her palm on his jaw and gives him a small smile. “This is my choice.”

His eyes close and he leans forward, placing his forehead against hers. “I hate this.”

“I know. But even if Lawson hadn’t given us an ultimatum, eventually I’ll get pregnant. And I trust Banks.” She gives me a sideways glance. “With my life.”

My chest constricts, and I push down the doubt that tries to worm its way up inside of me, reminding me of all the women in my care that I’ve lost. The babies I’d held in my arms that had never had a chance to take their first breath.

Fear settles somewhere deep in the core of my being, realizing that it could be my own child, my wife that I’ll have to place in a cold, metal box, besides the countless other patients that died in this building.

“The positive thing,” Tia says, with a teasing grin, looking up at Sal. “Is the no sex rule is forfeited.”

Even though I can tell he tries his damn hardest not to laugh, his lips twitch up, and he shakes his head. “You know I’d do anything, even have a case of blue balls for the rest of my life if it means keeping you safe.”

“Which is one of the reasons I love you.”

Feeling like an interloper on some lovers’ moment, I turn my back and start shutting down my computers.

“I’m going to go with Sal,” Tia says, coming up behind me.

When I turn around, Sal isn’t in the room anymore, but waiting in the hall outside the door.

“Okay.” There’s no emotion in my voice.

“I...” She fidgets. “Would you come to my room later?”

Hope brightens her face.

So fucking beautiful.

And the self-sacrificing part of her offers herself to me like a damn sacrificial lamb on an altar.

I could take it. Everything she’s willing to give. But she still has no idea how perverse my thoughts are. The things I really want to do to her.

“I have a lot of work to do.”

“Oh. Right.” She glances away. “I just thought...”

I take her chin between my fingers and turn her face to mine. “You’re my wife, Tia. My first responsibility is to protect you.” Even if it’s from myself. “I know what you want from me. But I told you, I’m not like the others.”

“I’m not asking you to be.”

“Good.” I nod at the door. “You should go.”

“But--”

“Be with your husbands. Make sure you’re with all of them. Don’t give any of them any doubt that the child you’ll carry could be theirs.”

She frowns up at me, more hurt in her eyes. “Is that why you slept with me?”

No.

Maybe.

Fuck.

“I didn’t sleep with you, Tia.”

“Right,” she says coldly. “You fucked me.”

I see Salinger shift by the door, and I have no doubt he’s heard most of what we’ve said.

“Fine.” Tia turns, but not before I see the tears she’s holding back. “I’ll see you at home.”

I let her walk away, and shake my head when Salinger raises his eyebrows at me, before placing a hand on our wife’s back and leading her away.