CHAPTER 18
Sterling perched on the corner of his brand-new office desk and stared out the window to the pasture. “C’mon Jason. I’ve seen you swing a bat. Just come out for the weekend.”
“I don’t want to be put on display. I’m on display enough at the winery.”
“But you love baseball. And you’ll be playing with guys who won the Series.”
The phone went silent. He could just see Jason drumming his fingers against his thigh. When Jason finally spoke, his voice was tight. “What if I fall?”
Sterling shut his eyes. Jason hated talking about his injury. Except for those early days when he’d visited Jason at Walter Reed, his friend had never let on how he felt about losing his leg. That Jason was expressing worry now, spoke volumes.
Sterling’s voice grew thick. “I’ll be there to help you up. And so will your team. You’re a goddamned hero, Jase. You lost your leg in service to your country. No shame in that. No shame in falling. The shame is in not getting back up.”
The line went quiet again. After what felt like a full minute, Jason sighed heavily. “Yeah. You’re right. Besides, I’m too pretty to fall,” he joked bitterly.
“That’s the spirit. You know I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t really need you.”
Jason’s voice was light again. “I recognize that tone of voice. There’s a woman involved.”
Sterling roughed a hand over his head. “I swear–”
Jason cut him off. “A cadet shall not lie, cheat, or steal. Don’t start now, homeslice.”
Leave it to Jason to ferret out the truth in record time. “Okay, there is a woman.” Jason’s laughter rang through the speaker. “But it’s not like you think.”
“It’s always like I think. All I can say is she must be pretty amazing if you’re calling in favors for her after Johnny died. What happened to love is weak?”
“Nobody said anything about love. This is an old friend.”
“Ummmhmmm… And let me guess… One that you’ve been ‘friendly’ with?” Jason’s laugh filled his ear again.
“It’s not like that.”
“No? I don’t buy that for a second.”
“Okay, yes. We’ve been ‘friendly’. But it’s not like that.”
Jason chuckled. “Sounds like you’re in trouble, my friend.”
Sterling pinched the bridge of his nose. Maybe he was. “It’s more fun than anything. Easy. But I’m not in love.”
“What about her? Don’t be an asshole, man.”
“I’m not, I’m not. We’re on the same page.” At least he thought they were.
“This I’ve gotta see. Count me in, then. And I’ll talk to my buddy, Trace McBride. I’m sure he’d come help out.”
“Trace McBride? Since when did you start rubbing elbows with him?”
“Since he stayed with a girlfriend at the winery about a year ago. He’s a good dude. And ever since he made that movie about Afghanistan, he’s been a crusader for veterans in Hollywood.”
“That’s fantastic. Emma will be thrilled.”
“Emma? Wait. Is this the same Emma you went on a bender over in college?”
Motherfucker. He’d completely forgotten that he’d spilled the beans about Emma to Jason one drunken night when they’d been Firsties. Right after Johnny had informed them he was marrying Macey. He’d endured ribbing for weeks.
“Uh, yeah. We connected right after I moved back.”
“Dude. You’re so fucked,” Jason crowed. “Wait until I tell Macey.”
“We don’t need to be adding to her pain right now,” he said sharply.
“Did you ever think it might cheer her up?”
“How could it? It’s only going to remind her of what she lost. And that we’re moving on without Johnny.”
“Listen to yourself, Sterling. We don’t honor Johnny by staying stuck. And you know damn well Macey doesn’t want that for us. We have to find the happiness he couldn’t. How can we be good uncles to Sophie if we’re living in hell too? That little girl needs us to be the dad she lost. We can’t do that if we’re unhappy.”
Jason had a point.
But what if he spun out of control like Johnny? He couldn’t drag Emma into that maelstrom. Wouldn’t. A lump pressed against his chest. He wouldn’t be responsible for destroying her that way.
“I’ll take that into consideration.” Code for shut the fuck up.
Jason’s voice grew edgy. “How ’bout you do that? And in return I’ll consider making a fool of myself at your Army-Navy tournament.”
“Deal. See you in two weeks?”
“I haven’t said yes yet.”
“But you will. And I’ll look forward to meeting Trace.”
“You always were a cocky sonofagun.”
“Damn straight.” He grinned, feeling his old confidence surge back. He had this. He and Emma could continue on as friends with benefits and they’d both be better off for it.
Not two minutes after he’d clicked off with Jason, a photo text from Emma lit up his phone. The picture showed the Army line closing in on the Navy’s and an underline beneath the total. His eyes shot skyward. Damn, she was good. 100k and two weeks left until the game. He fired off a quick text.
S: Wow! That’s amazing. You in town?
A few minutes later his phone pinged.
E: Just a quick trip in for a few hours. I have to be back in KC tonight.
She hadn’t mentioned coming back to town mid-week. He stared at his phone. “For what?” Frustration laced his voice, as a flash of jealousy streaked through him. Neither of them had spoken about being exclusive, but there couldn’t be another man in her life. Could there? He shook off the feeling. His need to bed Emma was fucking with his head. They were having unprotected sex. That meant something. At least to him. But still… doubt ate at him. Only one way to knock that shit down. He fired off a quick reply.
S: Have time for an update?
Would she get that was code for something more than just a quick report on how things were going? Almost immediately, his phone pinged again.
E: Sure. In about an hour? I can’t stay long…
S: No prob. See you soon.
The first thing he’d do after removing her clothing would be to tell Emma about Trace McBride. She’d be blown away. Trace would make their tournament much more high profile. Hope bloomed in his chest. Maybe with Trace on board, they could surpass their fundraising goals. Help even more veterans. A memory of Johnny slammed into him with staggering force. Eyes sparkling. Head tossed back. A wide grin.
Sterling’s chest burned as his breath got stuck somewhere in his throat. He couldn’t hear Johnny’s laugh in his head anymore. He bent over the desk, splaying his hands across the surface, squeezing shut his eyes. Maybe if he concentrated, he could hear it one more time. The three of them tossing back a shot and laughing at a joke. But the silence in his head grew deafening. No laughter. No Johnny. Only the heavy pressing silence of grief. He sucked in a harsh breath and stood, hands on his hips, staring at the ceiling and blinking hard. “I’m sorry, man,” he rasped. “I’m sorry.” The door of his office blasted open, and he spun, heart slamming in his chest, hands raised, ready to fight.
“Shit. I’m sorry.” Brodie Sinclaire towered in the doorway, hands out in supplication. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
It took Sterling a minute to find his voice. He coughed and dropped his hands, heartbeat slowly returning to normal. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I should put a sign on the door to knock first. Can I help you?”
“Yeah.” Brodie reached into his back pocket and pulled out an envelope. “Here.”
Sterling crossed around the desk and took the envelope. “What’s this?”
“Just a little something to help out.”
He opened the envelope, shock rippling through him as he studied the numbers in front of him. “I don’t know what to say.” Twenty-five hundred dollars from Emma’s brother, with a note in the memo stating Army.
Brodie looked over his shoulder, as if to make sure no one was watching. “My little sister would kill me if she found out, because she expects us all to support Travis and the Navy. So this donation has to be anonymous.” He grinned. “But I like you. And I’ve never seen Emma this fired up about a project, or a person.” Brodie speared him with a sharp look.
“Thank you. This will be a big help.” He extended his hand.
Brodie took it, giving an extra firm squeeze. Was Emma’s brother trying to intimidate him?
“Let’s consider this a gentleman’s agreement. You have my support.” He grinned again, a wild look entering his eye. “And if you hurt my sister in any way, I’ll be waiting for you in the tall grass.”