CHAPTER 26
Jason strolled into the Foreman’s office ahead of Sterling. “Emma joining us for dinner?”
Following him, Sterling grunted.
“I take it that’s a no?” Jason walked through the living area, past the place where the vision of Emma in red stilettos and lacy lingerie was imprinted on Sterling’s brain, past the arm of the couch he’d bent her over and said every dirty thing she’d asked him to while fucking her until they both collapsed, and out onto the deck where the splintered remains of the Adirondack chair were scattered. Jason stopped and whistled, surveying the scene, then gave him a flinty stare. “I take it you fucked up the apology?”
Sterling squirmed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want to talk about it.” You’re not half the man I thought you were. Didn’t she realize he was saving her from future despair? Sure, it might hurt now. But not like it would if they’d… if they’d married and had children.
The image of Emma holding her nephew swam before him. The way she bent to say hello to Sophie. She’d make a great mother. For someone else. So why did it feel like he was being skinned alive?
Jason’s voice was as hard as his eyes. “Spill.”
He shook his head, and picked up a piece of the broken chair, chucking it as far as he could. “I said I don’t want to talk about it.”
“And I’m not leaving until you do.” Jason’s voice rose. “You were a douchebag today. Barely civil to Alex Jordan and you about ripped Trace’s head off when he commented about Emma. Something happened and you’re going to fucking spill even if I have to beat it out of you.”
Sterling glared at his best friend. “You wouldn’t.”
Jason crossed his arms, a muscle twitching high on his cheek. “Don’t test me.”
He glowered at Jason for a long moment. He could walk away, but Jason would take him down. He’d seen him take on his brothers before. The Case men weren’t afraid to use their fists when talking failed. But he wasn’t going to punch the man he loved like a brother. No fucking way.
The fight left him and he flopped into the remaining Adirondack chair, dropping his head into his hands. He swore he could still detect the lingering aroma of Emma’s perfume. “I fell apart last night,” he mumbled.
Jason’s prosthetic scraped against the brick. “Come again?”
“I fell apart last night,” he snapped. “I fucking lost it in front of Emma. I kicked the chair. I sobbed like a baby. The whole nine yards.”
“And?”
“And what?” his voice cracked. “That’s bad enough.”
“Not bad enough for you to be an asshole today. What happened between you and Emma?”
Guilt beaded at his neck, like a string of pearls, one by one squeezing off his air. He shook his head.
“Did she laugh?”
“No.”
“Did she call you a pussy?”
“No.”
“Did she tell you to man up?” She’d definitely done that, but not in the context Jason implied. “What did she do?”
Sterling rubbed his face. “Anyone tell you that you should’ve been a JAG lawyer?”
Jason laughed dryly. “Once or twice. Answer my question.”
“She was great. She was everything.”
“So you found it necessary to be an asshat to the woman you’ve been crazy about for years? What the fuck for?”
“You seriously have to ask?” Sterling looked at Jason incredulously. Why was he being so obtuse? The answer was as plain as the nose on his face.
“Yes. I do,” Jason bit out, clearly at the end of his patience. “Because I seriously want to punch your lights out, and unless you give me good reason not to, someone needs to woodshed your ass.”
Sterling stood. “Look at Macey.” He pointed in the direction of the Sinclaire Ranch. “You wanna know why I told Emma to go away? Take a good fucking look at Macey. She’s a wreck, and she has to raise Sophie all alone.”
“Not alone. She has us.”
“From a distance. And you know what I mean. I’m not going to do to Emma what Johnny did to Macey. No fucking way.”
“So you quit her now as opposed to later.”
“Yeah.” He hated that Jason put it that way.
“Broke her heart now, instead of maybe breaking it someday.”
“I didn’t break her heart,” Sterling said defiantly. He couldn’t break her heart. She didn’t love him. Nevertheless, a tendril of doubt crept into his thoughts.
“Did you even look at her once today? She looked like someone had died.”
His neck burned. “I didn’t need to look at her. Alex Jordan and Trace were all over her.”
Jason’s fist connected with his jaw in a flash of ear-ringing pain. Sterling staggered back. “OW. What in the hell was that for?”
Jason shook out his hand and paced the length of the patio. “You’ve had that coming all day, dumbass. Do I have your attention now?”
Sterling nodded once.
“To recap. You had Emma over last night with the intention of apologizing. Which you did… sort-of. It ended with you having a breakdown, and Emma telling you that it was okay. That you were okay.”
“But I’m not okay.”
“Shut-up.” Jason resumed his pacing. “Then at some point this morning, you told her to get lost out of some misguided idea that you were sparing her from future pain.”
Sterling studied his shoes.
“Dude. That is some kind of fucked-up. I hope Travis has a shrink because, man, you need some serious couch time.”
Shame licked up his spine.
Jason’s voice softened a fraction. “Have you talked to anyone about Johnny’s death? Besides me?”
“My parents.”
“Someone who has experience dealing with grief? A pastor? A shrink? A superior officer?”
“Like I’d talk to an S.O. after my injury? They said I wasn’t fit for the Rangers anymore.”
“You’re not, and you know it.” He gestured to his leg. “I’m not either. Shit happens. Are you going to move on or stay stuck?”
Sterling fisted his hands on his hips. “God you sound just like Emma.”
Jason laughed harshly. “Then you really are an idiot and I like her even more. You know why Johnny went the way he did? He stayed stuck. He bottled it up and didn’t talk to anyone. Not even Macey. You don’t want to be like Johnny? Start talking. With me, with Emma if she’ll ever speak to you again, with Macey or Travis or the other guys at the ranch. Or a shrink. Someone. Because I guarandamntee you that if you stay stuck… If you don’t move forward… I’m gonna be throwing dirt on your coffin, too.”