CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
One year ago…
Nate sipped his whiskey and relaxed back into the leather seat, watching the other partygoers. This was his first real night off in over three months and it felt glorious to be free. He could feel the beat of the music under his feet as the crush of bodies gyrated under the colored lights. He could smell the sweat and sex and booze. He’d been a good boy for too long. He wanted to cut loose and have some fun tonight. Dance too much, drink too much. Maybe even have too much sex. Celibacy was definitely not enjoyable.
Max drained his own glass and slapped it down on the table before leaning forward to speak. The music was so loud he had to either be close or shout. “I’m heading out. I told Alana I wouldn’t be late.”
Nate’s brow raised and he chuckled at Max’s worried countenance. “Is the old ball and chain cracking the whip, mate? The night is young and those two young ladies across the way have been eyeing us since we walked in.”
One blonde and one brunette. Both curvy and buxom just like he liked them. They’d been smiling and playing with their straws, running their painted nails up and down as if giving him a preview of what they might do to his cock.
“I’m a married man,” Max groaned. “A man desperately trying to save his marriage and you’re not being much help. I came for a drink but now I’m leaving. I don’t think you’ll need my help anyway. They look like a sure thing.”
Nate hated the way his friend was begging for scraps at his wife’s table. He needed to have some bloody dignity. “She cheated on you, mate. I don’t know why you didn’t kick her out and get a divorce. She’s not worth your time.”
Scraping his hand down his face, Max shook his head in despair. “You don’t get it. I took vows, Nate. Vows. Until death do us part and all that. Plus, I actually love her.”
Nate slammed down his glass. “How can you still love that cow after what she’s done? I can’t believe she has the nerve to look you in the eye.”
Max sighed as if speaking to a child. “You don’t stop loving someone just because they’ve hurt you.”
“I’ll have that embroidered on a pillow,” Nate sneered, taking another gulp and enjoying the burn in his belly. “Just stay and have another drink.”
Max shook his head and stood, throwing a few bills down on the table. “That’s for my share. Have a good evening.” He glanced at the two girls still watching from across the room. “And wear a fucking condom for bloody’s sake. You can’t be too careful.”
Nate had been careful for the past six months. Desperate to raise his profile, he’d been in a PR relationship with Stella Riley, America’s latest romantic comedy sensation, and it had turned into an unmitigated disaster. The character Kai was well-known but Nate himself much less so. Add in to the mix a couple of bad box office movies, one right after the other, and he’d been terrified. His PR team told him he had to do something so he’d agreed to the contract. It seemed simple enough. Go places with her, be seen, get his picture taken. He had to pretend he cared about her, which at the beginning hadn’t been all that difficult. He was an actor, after all.
The whole thing had been a non-starter from day one as few people ever believed in the coupling to begin with. Looking back, it was clearer. They’d had little in common. She hated Shakespeare and reading in general. She wasn’t close to her family nor did she understand why Nate was. She liked bands he’d never heard of but mostly she liked drama that kept her name in the papers. She liked being seen and having her picture taken as often as possible. She always seemed to be embroiled in some mess, which was why she’d contracted with him in the first place. He was supposed to be a diversion and he’d served his purpose well. No one had been talking about her issues when they were talking about how pussy-whipped he appeared to be.
Whipped. That was ironic. He hadn’t gotten anywhere near her private parts. Sure, he’d been smitten when they first met. She was charming and cute and she’d flattered him shamelessly. He’d enjoyed their first evening and he liked that she wasn’t afraid to make the first move. But that’s where it all ended. Before long he realized it was bait and switch. She’d never had any feelings for him and his hurt and disappointment meant little, if anything to her. This was all about business.
So he’d carried on the business and played his role to the best of his ability. He’d even sworn off sexual liaisons while the showmance was in progress. He didn’t have to do it as long as he was discreet but while he’d been on a movie set it hadn’t been that difficult.
But now he was free. He’d met with her yesterday and they’d come to a somewhat amicable end. Their PR agents would release statements tomorrow about how they couldn’t make their schedules work but they remained close friends. Or some shit like that.
He was single once again.
It was in that spirit that he picked up his highball glass and walked across the room to meet those females. He was ready to cut loose tonight. The only question was whether to go with the blonde or the brunette.
“Ladies,” he said with his most charming smile. He’d had the gap in his teeth fixed a few years before Thunder at the behest of his agent. “May I buy you a drink?”
The women glanced at each other and giggled. The brunette nodded and waved to the seat next to her. “That would be lovely, thank you. Would you like to join us?”
“Don’t mind if I do. My name’s Nate, what’s yours?”
The blonde giggled again and did a little hair flip. “I’m Bridget and this is Lisa. We know who you are.”
Of course. They wanted Nate Mason.
Lisa blushed red under the hot lights. “I’m such a big fan. I love Kai.”
Scratch that, they wanted the leather clad bad boy.
The blonde leaned forward, her breasts pushed together for his perusal. “Kai is so much better than Haden. And that leather outfit is so cool. When he talks I just melt.”
Nate picked up Lisa’s hand and threaded their fingers together. “I’m broken and battered,” he said in his best Kai voice. “But I’ll protect you with my life.”
Bridget and Lisa swooned. This was going to be easier than he’d thought. Since playing Kai, picking up women wasn’t much of a challenge anymore. A few Kai lines and they were throwing their panties at him. Funny how before he was just a regular guy who got shot down like everyone else. He’d had good luck with the ladies but he’d never been any kind of Casanova. Now he could pick and choose.
Correction. Nate Mason could do that, not regular old Nate.
He ran his hand up Lisa’s thigh and giving it a squeeze. “How about we go out and dance? Work up a thirst.”
He planned to get very thirsty indeed.
* * *
“Christ, Nate!,” Edward, Nate’s publicist, was yelling and throwing his hands in the air. “You couldn’t keep it in your pants? Do you have any idea what a shitstorm you’ve created here? You’re getting crucified in every publication except the Farmer’s Almanac and they might be next. Jesus, what were you thinking?”
Nate sat on the edge of the sofa cushion, his head in his hands, staring down at the polished wood floors of his home. A home that had become a prison. He couldn’t leave his house without a phalanx of reporters and paps following him, shouting questions about being a cheater and a liar. Or better yet, they asked him about being a kinky bastard. Stella Riley was playing the victim and using this to keep her name in the papers. Along with his, and none of it positive. What should have been an evening that was nobody’s business, she’d turned into a three-ring circus.
He looked up, defeat in his tone. “I was thinking I was going to get laid.”
Nate’s agent, Josh, sat across from him, watching the proceedings but saying very little. Something that Nate was concerned about. Usually Josh would chat and have a laugh or two but he’d been quiet, almost as if he didn’t want to speak.
“Laid?” Edward paced the floor. “If you wanted sex we could get you an escort or something. Why didn’t you come to us?”
“Because,” Nate spoke more loudly this time. “I don’t usually discuss my sex life with you or Josh. It’s personal.”
“Not anymore,” Edward said grimly. “Everyone on this planet now knows you had a kinky threesome with a couple of girls you picked up in a bar. There are photos of you leaving the bar with them and going into a hotel. It’s ruined your perfect gentleman image. An image I worked hard to craft, Nate. It’s blown to pieces now.”
Launching to his feet, Nate got into his friend and publicist’s face. “Now wait a minute. I worked at that too. It’s not easy to act like a goddamn Prince Charming every fucking minute of every fucking day. I can’t even be in a bad mood, for fuck’s sake. How I feel or what I want doesn’t matter. So don’t tell me that you’re the only one who’s worked here, mate. I’m the one that actually does the work around here. I’m the one that brings in the money, remember?”
“Knock it off,” Josh finally interjected. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. Nate, please sit back down and explain what happened.”
Nate fell back into the sofa and shrugged. “It was just like any other night. I met a couple of girls. We drank and danced. Then we went back to their hotel room. I hope I don’t need to describe what happened in detail.”
“You’re dating someone,” Edward growled but Josh shook his head in warning.
“I am not,” Nate replied succinctly. “She and I ended it the day before. Her people were supposed to get with you to write up one of those breakup press releases about how we’ll always care about each other. Why didn’t you do that?”
“Because I didn’t know,” Edward said defensively. “No one called me. And no one from their side released anything either. As far as the world is concerned you cheated on her. You cheated on America’s fucking sweetheart. And not for true love, which they might have forgiven. You did it with a couple of girls because you wanted to have kinky sex.”
“She’s not the victim here,” Nate said heatedly. “Why is she acting heartbroken to the paps? She doesn’t give a shit about me.”
Josh finally stood, effectively silencing both Edward and Nate. “I’ve made some phone calls this morning and I think I’ve been able to piece together what’s happened. Let me explain.”
Nate threw up his hands in surrender. “I would love someone to explain this because I have no idea why this is a big deal. I’m a grown man who had sex. Not front page news.”
Walking over to the window, Josh looked out to the front yard where dozens of paps were camped out across the street. “Nate, I believe you. I believe that she told you she was ready to end it and that she would contact her PR team.”
“Thank you,” Nate breathed, giving Edward a scowl. “I’m glad someone does.”
“But here’s where it goes off the rails.” Josh came to stand right in front of Nate. “She set you up so she would be the victim and garner all the sympathy. That’s how she works. Those two girls were planted in that nightclub. She paid them to take you back to their hotel room and then give their sordid story to the tabloids the next day. Every dirty detail and there were plenty. The paps were tipped off and waiting for you to leave so they could get a photo of the three of you going to the hotel and then in the morning when you left. This was all a game to her, Nate. You were the pawn.”
Anger warred with disbelief. She’d been cold but this was beyond the pale.
“No, that can’t be right,” he said faintly, the bitter taste of betrayal turning his world on its axis. “What evidence do you have?”
“I know some people who were willing to talk. Shit, Nate. Look what she did to the last one. He got caught with his pants down too. There’s a pattern here.” Josh turned to Edward. “It’s your job to make sure that people see it. They need to know that Nate didn’t set out to hurt her. That he was just blowing off steam after working for months. Everybody was an adult and it was all consensual. His relationship had already ended, not that many people believed it was real in the first place. Then for God’s sake, change the fucking narrative to his work. His hair. His next play. Anything but his cock which has now been described in excruciating detail on Tumblr. Jesus, he’s a serious actor who has played Hamlet.”
Edward grabbed his phone and strode outside to start making calls, leaving Josh and Nate alone.
“You know you’re going to have to fire Edward,” Josh said gently. “He’s bungled this from beginning to end and is in way over his head. He won’t be able to dig you out of this but I know someone who can, if you’re interested.”
Nate’s head lolled back onto the cushion, tears burning the back of his eyes. His life had gone to shit in less than twenty-four hours. All because he’d trusted someone in Hollywood.
“I can’t fire Edward. He’s not just my publicist, he’s my friend.”
Josh sat next to Nate on the couch. “Listen to me. You’re my friend too and I need you to know that you’re not going to have a career to publicize if you don’t get ahead of this story and spin it. Hollywood isn’t pissed off that you had a threesome. Frankly, that’s pretty tame in their world. What they are angry about is your showmance wasn’t believable and you exposed the PR games they play to the public. They don’t like people to see what goes on behind the curtain. Already I’ve had several meetings and calls cancelled. You’re losing jobs, Nate, and it’s only been a day.”
Nate shook his head, still deep in denial. “That can’t be right. I’m up for the big franchise. It’s what we’ve all been working for.”
“It’s history,” Josh said bluntly, the news hitting Nate directly in the gut and sucking the air from his lungs. “It’s over. Time to find the next big thing because you’re not getting that job.”
“Tell them I’ll do an audition.” Nate grasped at straws, anything. He wanted that part. He’d been counting on it and had been so close. “I can do it. Tell them I’ll take a cut in pay.”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Josh sighed. “There are other issues as well.”
Nate sat up. This was the first he was hearing of this. “What other issues?”
“You’re aging too fast. If you look at the first Thunder five years ago and now the third one, you look ten years older.”
“Playing that last part was hard on me,” Nate replied wearily. “But I’m in the best shape of my life. You know that.”
“You’ve worked hard but you need a month of intensive skin therapy and a career makeover. You need to be looking at playing mature roles that match your skills and challenge you. You can’t play a pretty boy biker or Romeo forever. You need to start thinking about going out and finding projects instead of waiting for them to find you. Take control of your career.”
His stomach knotted and his chest tight, Nate tried to swallow the feeling of pure hopelessness that had taken hold of him. He had to right the ship. There was no choice in the matter. He was an actor and this was what he did. People depended on him for their livelihood and it wasn’t like he was prepared to do anything else for a living. This was all he knew.
“Call your friend,” Nate said simply. “I want to talk to him about his ideas for fixing this fucking mess.”
Josh was already dialing his cell phone. “I can talk to Edward for you if you want.”
Nate shook his head sadly. “I’ll do it. It’s my responsibility.”
Josh clapped his hand on Nate’s shoulder. “You’re doing the right thing. We have to act now before you lose everything you’ve worked for.”
Scraping a hand through his hair, Nate laughed but not with happiness. “You know, I just wanted to have some fun. I just wanted to celebrate my freedom. Now I’m more imprisoned than ever. I trusted those girls and why? Because they stroked my ego and told me how wonderful I was, something I sorely needed to hear. I trusted Stella too and she turned on me. Isn’t that rich? I trusted the facade even knowing it wasn’t any more real than my own. I’m a bloody idiot. I deserve this.”
“You were just naive, and you weren’t the only one it happened to. You’re not alone.”
That would be cold comfort as he repaired his damaged career. But he’d learned so much from this. It had been a painful and costly lesson.
He couldn’t trust someone to give a shit about him. Not really. Not Josh, not Edward, not her. Everything and everyone was fake and phony and the sooner he dealt with that fact the better. No one wanted Nate, the regular guy. They wanted Nate Mason, the movie star.
That’s exactly what he would give them.
* * *
Six months later…
Josh pointed to two spots on the contracts in front of Nate. “Just sign here and here. Then it will be official. You’ll be at the Donmar starring in The Taming of the Shrew early next year. This is going to be huge for your career, Nate. They think the tickets will sell out in minutes.”
They were sitting in Josh’s office, a posh building that overlooked the Thames. Nate scrawled his signature with a sense of relief and more than a little excitement. It would be good to get back on the stage again and out of the Hollywood spotlight. He’d tried to lay low these last months but working on a Thunder film and being invisible didn’t exactly go together. Luckily his new PR guy, Garrett, had worked hard to rehabilitate Nate’s image from a kinky philanderer to one of a serious actor who got caught in a situation he couldn’t control. The best part was he was no longer referred to as her ex-boyfriend anymore. She’d moved on and so had the press. For the most part, they were only interested in Kai.
The public had also been forgiving and he’d found that most of his fans had stuck by him despite the lurid headlines. He’d lost a few but had picked up new ones who had never heard of him before and had watched his movies after seeing him dragged through the mud by Stella Riley. Garrett assured Nate that as long as he kept doing good work the public wouldn’t care about his personal life.
As for Hollywood, they were slower to forgive. Punishment had to be meted out and his career was suffering. Josh was right. He needed to search for his own roles, but where to start?
Nate handed the contracts back to Josh, who tucked them into a folder. “Have you heard from Edward?”
Nate shook his head. Out of all the things that had happened, he felt the worst about that.
“Not since the day I told him I had to fire him. He said he understood but he hasn’t answered any of my calls. I was hoping we could still be friends.”
Josh sat down in his leather chair. “Edward knows enough about this business to know that someone had to fall on the ax. You had to make a public statement that you took this situation seriously. It had to be him, Nate. He got you into an untenable position and he couldn’t get you out. If he’s not talking to you I think it has more to do with his feeling that he failed you than any actual anger.” Steepling his fingers, he seemed to weight his next words. “How are things with your family?”
Rolling his eyes, Nate groaned. “That is another complicated situation. Mum now knows all the dirty, naughty things her baby boy likes to do to girls in the sack, courtesy of the tabloids. It makes for a tense family Christmas. I’ve apologized a million times and they say they forgive me but I can’t go back in time. Everything has changed.”
“They love you, Nate. Of course they forgive you.”
Nate laughed and palmed the car keys in his pocket. He needed to get out of here. Talking about this wasn’t helping his mood.
“You know what Max said to me that night? He said that just because someone hurts you it doesn’t mean you stop loving them. Do you think that’s true, Josh?”
“I do. It sounds like you don’t believe it, though.”
He wanted it to be true more than anything.
* * *
The present…
“That’s pretty much it,” Nate said, barely able to look Paige in the eyes after the whole sordid tale. The mere thought that she might have seen some of those detailed articles about his sexual proclivities made him sick to his stomach. Most women wouldn’t care or would think it was arousing to know so much about him. He doubted Paige was in either of those categories. She was a mother and how could she approve of his behavior? He was a kinky bastard.
“Lots of people have done worse than you did.” She placed a hand on his knee and his skin burned through the thick denim of his jeans. “It wasn’t like you were caught in a cheap roadside motel with a pound of blow, a bottle of tequila, and a couple of underage cheerleaders. Like you said, you were all adults.”
“Hollywood wasn’t mad about the sex. They were mad that I didn’t make the showmance with Stella look real. People didn’t believe us as a couple.”
Laughter bubbled up from Paige’s full pink lips. “No shit. When I saw those first photos of you two I think I rolled my eyes so hard I sprained my eyelids. As a couple you made no sense whatsoever.”
In his naïveté, he’d thought he could sell anything but now he realized they’d never looked right together. The party girl and the serious actor.
“You don’t like her?” Nate questioned. “I thought all of America liked her.”
“There is no way three hundred million people like her. Maybe some do, but I never bought that innocent as the driven snow act she likes to sell. Somehow she always seems to be in the middle of some mess and eventually you have to say to yourself, maybe it’s her.”
It was Nate’s turn to laugh. “It is her. She loves that. But the whole thing taught me so much and now I know to give them what they want. Nate is just an ordinary guy, not exciting. They want bigger than life.”
Rubbing her chin, she grimaced, her expression full of sympathy.
“I don’t know how to tell you this, handsome, but you learned the wrong lesson.”