We hadn't really discussed much about sleeping arrangements, I realize as I show Dorthy the house.

The night was good. Good company, good food, great view-- and I don't mean the mountains. Well, my fiancé does have a killer figure on her. I guess you could call tits like that "mountains."

Still, I'm scared shitless to touch her for fear she might break. I've been finding every excuse there is to put my hands on her all night. I like the way I can feel her tremble a little bit when my hand is pressed against her back or resting over her shoulders.

Or shit, maybe it's me that's been trembling.

Now I've got this gorgeous woman in my home, giving her the fifty cent tour and feeling stupid. The house is done, but there's not much in it. Most of the windows don't even have curtains. The furniture is the stuff I moved from my old place.

The plan was to wait till I had a woman who would want to fill up my space with her things and make this place hers the way she wants it. Now I feel bad that it just looks sort of abandoned while I'm showing Dorthy around.

"The house just got finished a few months ago," I explain as I watch her eyes take in each empty room, "I, uh, was waiting till I had someone to share it with. I thought we'd decorate it together."

"That's sweet, Barrett," she tells me, flashing me a smile that makes me want to grab her up in my arms and kiss her right here and now.

I don't though.

I've never been smooth with women. I've had a couple of girlfriends here and there but only because they come on to me. I suck at recognizing their signals. You pretty much have to hit me over the head and tell me you like me before I get a clue.

Here I am, with a woman in my house that's pretty much my fiance and I don't even know if it's OK to kiss her yet.

She keeps calling me by my given name too. I think the last person who did that was the substitute teacher who took over for Mrs. Atkins in the second grade when she moved away.

Come to think of it, that might have been the only person who's ever called me Barrett.

It sounds strange to hear my full name, but I like the way it sounds when Dorthy says it. It's soft and it sounds like she's singing it. Not like I'm in trouble or nothin' like when my mom yells at me. It feels good when Dorthy says it, like it's special between us. I like that. I like feeling like we got something special.

I don't want to come off as pushy or like I'm expecting too much too soon, so I show Dorthy to the big guest room. It's furnished nice for when my folks come up or when my sister and her husband are here with their kids.

"You can stay in here," I tell her, my words all tumbling over each other too fast. I turn on the light and walk through to show her the en suite bath. "It's got everything you need," I try to slow down and sound like I'm not desperate to hear her tell me she'd rather sleep in my room.

She doesn't do it though, she stands just inside the guest bedroom doorway and smiles at me sweetly, "Thanks, Barrett. This will work out great."

Dorthy covers her mouth and I think she's trying to hide the yawn as she gives the big king size bed a longing look.

Shit I'm such an asshole!

"Sorry, you must be exhausted," I mumble. Duh. She's been in the air for most of the day, she's 4 hours behind the time zone she's used to and a day like today would wear anyone out, let alone when your body thinks it's after midnight already.

"It has been a long day," she says as she looks up at me.

The look on her face makes me wonder what she's thinking. Hell, she's probably thinking that she wants me to leave her the fuck alone so she can unpack her things and use the restroom and do whatever it is that women do before they go to bed.

"It was nice getting to talk to you tonight," I stammer out like an idiot, not quite ready to will my feet to move out of her room.

"Yeah, it was nice. I had a great time."

We did have a great time. Sitting out on Rogue and Mel's deck with good food and good company, it felt comfortable. Like Dorthy and I were old friends, just getting caught up after not seeing each other for a long time. Not like this awkward thing we're doing now.

"Good!" I blurt out too loudly, too enthusiastically. I clear my throat and start over, "Good, Mel and Rogue are some of my best friends, I'm glad you like 'em-- and their growing crew of wild bandits," I laugh. The boys were crazy tonight, showing off for new company. Of course, they also crashed and burned in the middle of the floor before dinner was even off the grill.

"We'll spend a lot of time with them," I tell Dorthy, "Now that the house is finished, I'm really looking forward to being able to be the one hosting the cook outs. I got a lot of good meals to pay them back for."

Dorthy's just nodding at me, her smile beginning to look a little forced. I need to get out of her hair and give her some space. I can take a hint.

"Well OK then," I reluctantly take a step back, edging out of the way so she can shut the door, even though that's gonna put me on the other side of it and I don't like that thought much at all.

"If you tell me what time you think you'll be up, I'll time breakfast to be hot for ya," I'm stalling. I'm looking for an excuse to reach out and touch her. Even if just to swipe a strand of stray hair off her face.

I had no problem putting my hands on her earlier, when it seemed like there was a reason to do it. Gently guiding her through Rogue's house or putting my arm around her shoulders when I noticed the cool evening air was making her shiver.

She didn't pull away when I touched her, not one single time, but somehow I can't convince myself that she wants me to do it now.

"Well," Dorthy looks around, like she's checking for the time, "I'm normally up by 7 but with the time difference, I have no idea. What time does the sun come up?"

"You got lucky, comin' up this time of year," I finally feel confident about the conversation, this is definitely my area of expertise, "we're almost even, sunrise oughta be around 5. Couple more weeks and we'll be putting up the black out shades."

"Oh," she looks up at the big windows lining the south wall, "Well, I'm sure I'll probably be up around normal then."

"Yeah, well, just remember you're 'normal' is about 4 hours later than it is here," I remind her, "So if you're up at 3 instead, don't hesitate to make yourself at home."

Damn, that sounds wrong, "I mean," I lower my eyes, feeling bashful and wanting to kick myself for being such a damn idiot, "It's your home too now-- or it's gonna be, I guess-- so of course, you should feel free to...you know what?" I look back at her and get lost in those big blue eyes. For a second I plum forget what I was saying and I'm so close to just leaning in to kiss her.

Of course I come to my senses and then I take the final step back out of her room and straighten up with a smile, "I'm gonna let you get some sleep. I'll see ya in the morning and I'll make a good breakfast."

"Sounds good," she tells me, "OK then, good night."

"Night."

I watch the door swing closed and hear the latch catch and then I'm just standing in my own damn hallway with my cock throbbing against my zipper, and my lips dry and hungry for a kiss I'm too chicken shit to cash in on.

This didn't go quite the way I'd expected it to.

I mean, it ain't like I was banking on chemistry and instant lust to take over and consume us the moment we set eyes on each other-- may have been hoping for it-- but I guess I figured we'd be sleeping in the same bed.

Then again, I was expecting a different woman. Maybe that seems strange, seeing as how I wasn't sure what to expect at all, but Dorthy's so different from any woman I ever imagined myself with. I'm not sure what she thinks of me, but I know I like her. I like her more than a little bit even if I'm worried about how she's gonna manage-- in Alaska and in my bed.

I'm not a fool. I know women are resilient. I know there's no reason not to take her to bed, even if I'll have to remember to keep my wits about me and be gentle with her. I'm willing to make that effort it means getting a taste of her sweet little body and feeling her tangled up with mine.

I just don't know if she's feelin' the same way. Or if she's gonna be asking me to fly her outta here before I get the nerve to find out.