I rolled over and felt a soft cushion next to me. The smell of fresh sheets and Bash disoriented me for a moment. I opened my eyes and saw the blinds on the window and the realization hit me. I was in Bash’s bed! I pulled the covers up, I still had my clothes on. We didn’t have sex. Of course not! My memory slowly returning — I cried on his shoulder till about 2 am, we drank beer and listened to music. He played my favorite band, he played Witness. I cried some more and he wiped away my tears.
Bash was a gentleman allowing me his bed and he took the sofa. “Good morning sleepy.” Bash walked in carrying a tray with coffee, fresh orange juice, and two painkillers. “Drink those, I made pancakes. We can eat in the kitchen.” He sat down on the bed and watched me. I scooted up and grabbed the orange juice and painkillers.
“Thank you for everything. I am not sure I would be able to survive this alone.” Washing down the painkillers with the orange juice, I grabbed the coffee. I inhaled the amazing rich aroma.
“Em, your phone has been going crazy. Don’t you want to talk to him? Maybe give him a chance to explain whatever it is?” I shook my head. I was adamant not to talk to him, I couldn’t. “Okay, well he called me this morning. He knows you’re here.” He said in a soft voice.
“What?!”
“Don’t worry he won’t come here. He just wanted to make sure you are safe.” He smiled.
“I don’t care what he wants! He is fucking some girl in the apartment that he wanted me to move into Bash!” I climbed out of bed careful not to spill my coffee. I walked around towards the door, “I want pancakes.” I stormed off into the kitchen. I heard him chuckle behind me and it made me smile. The smell of fresh pancakes assaulted my senses as I walked into the kitchen.
I sat down on the stool at the counter as Bash followed me into the kitchen. “Right little lady! Breakfast is served!” He put a large plate of choc chip pancakes on the counter. He had some whipped cream and chocolate sauce to go with it.
“This is definitely not going to help my diet!” I smiled up at him.
“You have a wounded heart. It needs something sweet.” He refilled my coffee.
“I have something sweet,” the words were out of my mouth before I thought about it. My gaze fell on him. “I mean; you know…” I mumbled and blushed.
“No Em, I don’t know. Why don't you…. Enlighten me?” I saw the naughty smirk cross his rugged features.
“Look, Bash, I don’t know what’s going on between us. I care about you and the only reason I came here was because I didn’t want to be alone. I just don’t know anyone else in the city besides Triston,” I ate the piece of pancake on my fork. “Oh my god, this is amazing!” He laughed, staring at me for a few minutes and his smile disappeared. He put on his serious expression and my heart leaped into my throat.
“Look Em, I am not going to lie. I am glad you’re here. And if all we can be is friends I can handle that, but don’t feel bad for needing someone to talk to. I will always be here for you and if you don’t want more than friendship I am not going to push.” I nodded. We ate in comfortable silence until the phone rang. Bash walked over to the wall and grabbed it on the fourth ring.
“Hello?” He listened to whoever it was and I had a feeling I knew who it was. He turned to face me. “She’s okay, I told you earlier.” He listened again, “Hold on…”
“He wants to talk to you?” I thought about it for a moment. Getting up I walked over to the wall, taking the phone from Bash.
“Triston?”
“Angel, please let me explain? Please come home?” I heard the plea in his voice.
“What happened? Why was there a bikini on the floor in the shower?” He hesitated and I had my answer. “Seriously Triston?”
“Babe, she came on to me. She kissed me. I was angry with you. Can we please talk face to face?”
“No, I don’t want to see your face right now! Why don't you ask her to move in with you?” I was radiating anger.
“Angel, I love you, only you!”
“I don’t know if I love you right now!” There was silence on the other end of the line and I thought he hung up when I heard him release a breath.
“You want to do this on the phone? Fine! It was a spur of the moment thing, I made a mistake. I was angry with you! After you left the apartment I had you followed. I knew you were with my brother.” He was quiet for a few seconds before continuing. “I saw Krista; she was being released from the hospital. I invited her back to OUR place thinking you would be back. When I saw you were not I felt a rage I had never felt before. I thought you were at his place fucking him!”
“So you decided to get me back!? You decided to fuck her in your apartment!!?” I was screaming. I felt Bash’s hand on my shoulder and his warmth calming me down. Tears streamed down my face and I felt my heart tighten in my chest.
“Our apartment!” He retorted. “You were with my brother Emily!”
“I didn’t fuck him for god’s sake!!” I slammed the phone against the wall. Bash pulled me into his arms, holding me against his chest.
“Em, I’m sorry,” he whispered. I knew he was unsure of what to do, turning me around he wiped the tears from my face. My eyes burned and I blinked hard. I grabbed his face and pulled him to me, kissing him hard. His tongue invaded my mouth and I welcomed it. I wanted to dull the pain my heart was feeling. Bash pulled away slowly. “Let’s not do this Em? Not like this.”
“I want to, please? Just make the pain go away?” I pleaded with him. My eyes melting into those beautiful hazel ones. He lifted me up in his strong arms and carried me to his bedroom. Laying me down he leaned over me, his weight resting on his elbows. “Emily, I don’t want to do this because you’re angry with my brother. I want to do this because we are together,” he leaned down and kissed my cheek. Pulling himself back up, standing and watching me.
“Bash,” I whispered, sitting up I pulled the t-shirt over my head. I laid back down wearing only a pair of running shorts. His eyes blazed. “God Emily you are a fucking temptress!” I scooted up the bed and watched him pull his own t-shirt off. He was wearing his ripped painter jeans, he slowly undid the button and they dropped to his feet. He was wearing tight black CK briefs. He reminded me of an underwear model, toned, tanned and filling out the briefs with a large package. I giggled at the thought in my head. Drinking in the sight of that v line pointing into the black briefs my mind wasn’t my own anymore.
“You know, when I am standing in front of a girl in my underwear and she giggles I feel very self-conscious,” he said. Faking the hurt on his face.
“Shhh. You know that’s not why I was giggling!”
He leaned down, hovering over me again. “You’re so beautiful!” I raised my hips, rubbing myself against his growing hardness.
“And you’re…. handsome!” He leaned down and kissed me again. His kiss soft and tender. My tears began to flow again. I closed my eyes and saw the ice blue stare. My heart hurt so much it felt like I couldn’t breathe. Just as his lips found my neck there was a knock at the door.
“Fuck it!” He stood up and pulled his jeans and t-shirt on. I grabbed my t-shirt and pulled it over my head. He waited till I was decent then turned to the door. I knew who it was and when I heard his voice my body went cold. I wiped the tears from my face and listened.
“Where is she brother?”
“In my bed.” Bash’s voice was cold, harsh and then I heard something crash. Shit! I ran into the living room and saw that Triston had punched Bash. “Jesus Triston! What the fuck is wrong with you?” I ran to Bash. His nose was pouring blood down his t-shirt.
“It’s okay Em,” Bash stared at his brother. Ignoring Triston, I walked into the kitchen and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer. Bash smiled and sat down, holding the ice pack to his nose.
“We’re going! Now!” Triston looked at me, his ice blue gaze sent a shiver down my spine. He was infuriated. I didn’t care, he chose this not me.
“No! I told you to leave me alone!” My voice was raised, but Triston made me so angry. How dare he come here and punch Bash for looking after me.
“And I told you, we are going! Nobody walks away from me, so get your stuff and let’s go!” Bash stood up, his hand on my back. “Why don’t you talk here? I will go to the other room.” His eyes met mine and I nodded slowly. He winked and left Triston and me in the living room.
“Triston look, I really can’t do this.” I looked at him and the anger in him seemed to evaporate. He was so calm it was almost unnerving.
“Emily, I love you, do you understand that? I love you!” His eyes were filled with love. I saw it there every time he looked at me. I decided to come clean. I needed him to realize what I had done.
“I kissed him Triston, I kissed Bash. A few times, before you knocked on that door I was ready to sleep with him. Is that what you want to hear?” I watched the look on his face waiting for the anger to kick in, but it didn’t. He just stood there quietly. He was deflated and I know he was as hurt as I was.
“If that’s what you want then I can’t stop you from living your life. I want you to understand something, Krista and I was a mistake. As soon as it was done I regretted it. I don’t even know why I did it! Well, I do. I did it because I was angry with you. You never slept with him while we were together did you?”
I shook my head and he looked up at me, his eyes locked with mine. “I regret doing it, but it’s done. I can’t undo it, if I could I would.” He grabbed my face and kissed each cheek, “I never want to make you cry again. I love you, only you forever. Do you understand me?”
I nodded, there were things I wish I could undo as well. “We need time Triston, I need time. Can you give that to me?”
He nodded solemnly. I could tell that he was completely resigned to me walking away. I didn’t want to lose him, I just needed time to think. “Sure, if that’s what you need. We can take a few days, completely separate. Four days of a single life. Do what you need to. Be with him, spend time with him if you think it will help. You decide who you want and if it’s me, I will never ever hurt you like this again. I swear on my life. When you are ready you know where to find me.” His body was visibly shaking and I knew that the pain that racked through me did the same to him. He kissed my forehead and left. I stood staring at the door for a while. I was going back to my apartment tonight, I needed to think.
—∆—
When Bash walked back into the living room I turned to face him. “Is it safe to come out?” I nodded, giving him a small smile. He walked through with the melted ice pack. The blood had stopped and his t-shirt was ruined.
“He gave me four days Bash.”
“What do you mean?” Bash sat down, watching me closely. I wasn’t sure if he was scared I was about to fall apart or if I was about to smash everything within sight.
“He gave me four days. I need to decide who I want. You or him,” I looked over at him and I saw his smile.
“Well, that’s easy!”
“Bash—” I admonished him.
“I know. I know… I didn’t mean it like that, I just wanted to make you smile.” I did.
“I can’t believe he punched you!” I looked at his face and he shrugged.
“I did deserve it, I told him you were in my bed. I would have punched him if it was the other way around.”
“So I guess I am kind of single right now. Weird feeling. What do I do now?” I sat down next to him on the sofa. He put his hand on my knee circling his fingers slowly. “I have a few suggestions,” he winked. I rolled my eyes and stared at him. “Emily, you do realize that rolling your eyes is rude?” I nodded. “Do you know what happens to rude girls?” I smirked and nodded again. He pulled me to my feet.
“Wait!” I stopped halfway to the bedroom, “I know what we can do!” He frowned, “I can sit for you!” He gave me a megawatt smile.
“Yes! Do you want to stay the night? We can get take-out and just relax with a large canvas and some oils.” He looked so excited, but I wanted to go home tonight. I needed time on my own. Time to think things through and I couldn’t do that with Bash.
“I wanted to go home, spend some time on my own. I need to really think this through Bash. I don’t want to hurt you and give you hope of something and then leave. You know?”
He pulled me into him. His body flush with mine and I felt the response that was so clear between us. “I told you earlier Em, I understand. Even if I was given 24 hours with you I would be happy. Now can you stop being so sad and smile? We don't have to spend the night together. I will take you home and pick you up tomorrow. I know this isn’t an easy decision so just take your time.” I looked into his warm gaze and smiled. “That’s the smile I want! Now are you going to finish your pancakes?”
I smiled and nodded.
—∆—
“Bash! Can we take a break? It hurts!” I whined for the third time. He stood up and looked over at me. Shaking his head incredulously making me giggle. It was late Sunday afternoon and I was starving.
“Okay, let’s get lunch?” He walked over to me and handed me a robe. I was sitting in the same position for 3 hours and I felt stiff. I needed to stretch and get some fresh air. The smell of turpentine was making me feel woozy. I tied the robe around me and smiled. “Can I see what it looks like?” He shook his head. Spinning me around pointing me in the direction of the spiral staircase.
“So unfair!” I complained and he chuckled. “What are we doing for lunch?” I slid into the stool which seemed to become my second home. Picking up my phone I unlocked it, a message from Triston.
*I hope you have an amazing few days. I respect your decision whatever it may be as long as you are happy. Talk soon angel. T xo*
My chest tightened and I closed my eyes, remembering our trip in LA. We were set to fly to London next week Sunday. Today was Sunday, I had a week. I needed to decide before that, I needed to choose between two amazing men. My heart was torn, it felt like I was being ripped in two. How did I fall in love with two brothers?
“Emily!” Bash pulled me out of my reverie.
“Sorry, shit… I was miles away. What did you say?”
Narrowing his eyes at me, “Was that him?” I nodded. “You love him, Emily, I can see it. You two need to work it out.” His words felt like swords slicing into me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“I am in love with him yes, but…” I stopped. I knew as soon as I said it I could never unsay it. I couldn’t hide it anymore, though. It was so obvious.
“But what Em?” He turned to face me now and I knew I had to give him an answer. I needed to at least be honest with him, he has always given me that.
“I am in love with you too.” My voice barely audible or recognizable. I felt nausea kick in and I didn’t know what to do. I needed time away from them both.
“Emily,” he came around to me and pulled me into his arms. “I love you, darling. I do, but I don’t want you to have to choose like this. I want you so much you have no idea, but you need to think this through on your own. I am going to take you home. Go and get dressed.”
—∆—
I sat on my sofa for the first time in weeks. It was only 5 pm. Bash said he would pick me up at 7 for dinner, he really was being amazing. My mobile started ringing, it was Jessie.
“Hey, Jess!”
“Emily! What the actual fudge is going on?? The man was on a warpath, I have so much work to get through this coming week!” I closed my eyes, this was my fault. No! It was his fault too!
“He slept with Krista. I kissed Bash. A couple of times. So Triston and I are on a break for a few days.” Everything sounded so foreign when I said it out loud. How had it come to this? How was I sitting on my sofa alone, when I had two incredible men vying for my attention?
“What!?” She screamed into the phone, then lowering her voice. “Shit, now he’s looking at me. I guess he knows I am on the phone with you. Wait, you kissed the hot brother? Spill the deets was it good?”
“Jessie! Well, yea it was!” I giggled for the first time in days. “He’s amazing Jess, he hasn’t taken advantage of the fact that I am in turmoil. He even brought me home to think things through.”
“Wow! Gentleman! So what are you going to do?”
“Honestly? I have no idea! Bash is taking me out tonight for dinner.”
“Okay, think about it this way. Close your eyes and remember the time with both of them. Who makes you happy? Like I mean truly happy? Also, think about if you saw either one of them with another girl, dating, kissing, whatever. How would it feel? Which one can you not see with someone else? And lastly, if either of them went down on one knee today. Which would you say yes to? Enjoy the dinner tonight, see how you feel and if you’re going to shag him… I want the details! Tomorrow is Monday, we will go out for cocktails and you can tell me all! I know it’s a weekday but after work tomorrow I may need those cocktails to survive!” She giggled and I shook my head. She seriously had a way with words.
“Wow Jess, you should become a counselor or something.” We both laughed at the thought. I decided that going out with her would give me some more time away from Bash and Triston. Just what I needed. “Yes, cocktails sound perfect!”
“No way chick, I can’t handle all that drama. I will pick you up at your place, say 6? Also, if you choose our boss man, let me make the bro feel better. I have some amazing medicinal skills.”
“Ugh Jess TMI seriously! See you tomorrow! And Jess?”
“Yea?”
“Thanks! I don’t really have friends here, but you’ve been amazing!”
“Anytime sweets. Anytime. Tomorrow we drink!” Her voice reached new highs and I giggled. We hung up and I sat back on my sofa, I had a lot to think about.
—∆—
I spent the last couple of hours on the sofa, I flicked through bad movies on cable. Eating ice cream and drank green tea. My eyes felt like they had gone back to normal. After all the crying, it looked like I had been punched. I opened my messages and hit reply, I was ready to message him.
*Thank you for your message earlier. I spent the day at my place, thinking. Talk soon*
Bash was going to be here in about 15 minutes. I decided to wear a pair of my black skinny jeans and a black halter neck. The weather was amazing and I wanted to enjoy the last few days of summer. My phone beeped.
*I am glad you’re thinking. I have been doing the same. SO much I want to tell you. I hope we do talk soon. T xo*
I smiled, hitting reply I decided this would be my last message tonight.
*Maybe we can meet on Friday night? I will work from home next week. Email me if needed.*
The buzzer went and I took one last look in the mirror. I was as ready as I would ever be. I opened the door and saw Bash with bags of shopping. “What is all this?”
“Dinner babe. I decided I am cooking dinner for you.” I laughed as he entered my apartment and made his way to the kitchen. He started unpacking the groceries and I saw he had bought a bottle of my favorite champagne as well. I closed the door and the buzzer went again. “Do you have more coming?” I asked. Bash shook his head and shrugged.
I opened the door and saw a dozen red roses. Triston really doesn’t play fair. The poor delivery guy was hidden behind the bouquet. “Delivery for a Miss Reid?” I nodded and signed the tablet he held out to me. “Thank you!” I grabbed the flowers from him and closed the apartment door.
“Wow! He’s going all out isn’t he?” Bash saw the flowers. Placing them on the table I grabbed the vase from the living room table.
“It seems that way.” I filled the vase with water. Grabbing the scissor from the kitchen drawer I went to the table. Cutting the ribbon, I arranged the roses in the glass container and placed it back on the table. “They’re beautiful Em.”
“Yea, they are.” I pulled the card out of the tiny envelope.
I know I was an ass. A stupid ass, forgive me?
Remember sometimes you end up stronger at the broken places,
I don’t want to be at my broken place anymore.
I want you.
T xo
I stared at the card, my fingers shaking. “Em, you okay darling?” I looked up and realized there were tears in my eyes. I was broken. I was completely shattered. Bash walked up to me and held me, I cried. Big nasty tears flowed from my eyes and I felt myself break. I loved Triston, so much. I needed to find it in my heart and mind to forgive him. I pulled away and noticed that Bash’s t-shirt was soaked. I giggled and looked up at him. “Are you okay?” I nodded. I needed that. I needed him to hold me, to hold all my broken pieces together just for a moment.
“I want to finish the painting Bash.” I looked up at him through my eyelashes.
“Em, we don’t—”
“I want to. I need this. I need you even if it’s just for this short time.” He nodded, he understood exactly what I was saying without saying the actual words.
Bash carried on cooking and I picked up my phone. I hit reply on Triston’s message.
*Friday. The Penthouse. 10 AM*
Turning my phone off I headed back to the kitchen.
—∆—
“Emily turn your head more to the left. Yes, that’s it, now don’t move!”
I had to suppress a giggle, I didn’t know how models did this. I couldn’t sit still for 5 minutes. Never mind the hours that were needed for one of those portraits you see in museums.
“Okay, we can take a break. I reckon another 2 days before it’s perfect.” I inwardly groaned.
“This better be good Mr Hart!” My heart ached when the words left my mouth. “Bash, I mean…” He smiled.
“It’s okay Em. Coffee?” I smiled and nodded as I tied the silk belt of the robe around me. I was so glad Bash could do this painting with me in a bikini. I don’t think we would have got through it if I was naked.
I walked into the living room as Bash busied himself in the kitchen. “I am just going to the bathroom!” I called to him. I walked down the hallway passing his bedroom. I noticed the door opposite the bathroom yesterday. I wonder what’s in here. I grabbed the handle and opened the door. It was a study, I could see a large dark wood desk, and his computer. I walked in and found one of the walls filled with books. I scanned them slowly. There were some amazing titles, classics that I loved. “This isn't the bathroom,” his voice was soft and amused.
“Really? I didn’t notice!” I rolled my eyes.
“Emily…” his voice was a warning. I felt the heat travel over my body.
“Yes, Bash?” I walked up to him till my body was flush with his. I closed my eyes and inhaled the spicy warm scent of him. It assaulted my senses and every nerve in my body was on high alert. I felt my nipples harden against my bikini top. “Ask me to stop…” His voice a low growl. My eyes locked on his and I shook my head. He grabbed me roughly and his mouth crashed onto mine. I reached up and tangled my fingers in his short spikey hair. Pulling him closer to me, deepening the kiss. His tongue danced with mine and I felt the heat pool in my stomach. My bikini bottoms wet with need. “We don’t—” he spoke into the kiss. I pulled away slowly. His eyes searched mine for an answer and I smiled.
His gaze seared into me. “Finish this,” my voice was ragged with lust. He gripped my ass and lifted me up, carrying me towards the bookshelf pinning me against it. “Hold on to the shelves.” His mouth was on my neck. Kissing me, licking his way behind my ear. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him tighter against me. I could feel the button of his jeans rubbing against me. I was so high, I felt like I was flying. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. This is what I asked him for. I wanted this. I needed to get my fill of him. Get him out of my system and I didn’t know any other way to do it.
I heard his zipper and I knew I had only a few seconds to stop this. I pictured Triston fucking Krista, in the shower and I made my choice. I felt him inside me instantly and I bit down on his shoulder hard as my body shook with release.
He slid into me, filling me, stretching me. I moaned onto his hot tanned skin. Watching his muscles flex as he held me up. “Bash,” I moaned as he started moving faster, deeper, filling me. “Emily, you are so beautiful.” His voice strangled as he held onto his sanity. I gripped his taut shoulders, my nails digging into him. I felt myself close to another earth shattering orgasm as he plunged into me. My body clenched around him and I felt my release take over.
“Emily,” his voice was a deep growl as he filled me.