JAMIE GIVES ME AN EXTRA squeeze before he leaves, worry clear and present on his face. I have no words to reassure him. All my attempts at returning to a normal life have been upended, and if I decide to let East be a part of it?
It’ll be a media frenzy.
I tighten my ponytail and push the shorter strains out of my face. As vain as it is, one of the first things I did was get my hair fixed. Now it sits right above my shoulders in soft, blonde layers. Scarves were going to be my best friend this winter.
It’s already so chilly, I think, wrapping another of my dad’s plaids tighter around my body. I opt for jeans today, the button a bit of a workout to close. To be fair, I did emotional-eat most of yesterday and I should be happy that I’ve gained the weight back. I looked sickly when I was rescued.
Walking into the lodge lobby, I stomp my half boots before walking on the beautiful hardwoods, not wanting to track in any dirt. I wave to the front desk and head to my spot, noticing immediately the little boy from yesterday. He has black hair, comes up to my waist, and is filled with energy. I watch him run around and wrap my arms around my stomach.
The little boy spots me and makes a beeline towards me.
“Hi! Are you our guide?” he asks in an adorable voice.
Grinning, I nod. “I’m Taylor.”
“I know!” he squeals and grabs my hand to lead me somewhere.
I follow, taken aback by this little one’s assuredness. “You know? How do you know? Are you a wizard?” I tease.
“My uncle told me,” he confesses, coming to a stop by the front doors, and turns to me. “Are we going to see any bears? My daddy says no, but my uncle says yes and that they’ll eat me!” He squeals at the end and I laugh.
“I don’t know, we could! But it’s getting pretty late in the season so they’ll be getting ready to sleep for a while.”
“Hibernation,” he nods knowingly, and I raise a brow, impressed.
“That’s the technical term.” I nod.
“I’m six, not dumb. I watch Discovery Channel with Daddy all the time,” he says like I’m the idiot, and I bite my lip to stifle a laugh.
“You do, huh?”
“Yeah, ever since he got back. I want to know what it’s like.”
“What, what’s like?” I ask, confused.
“To be on an island,” he says matter-of-factly, and my blood freezes in my veins.
“What—” I cough, nerves choking me. “What’s your name, bud?”
“I’m Henry, but my uncle calls me Hen.” He smiles up at me and how…how could I not have noticed I’m staring at a mini-East? Jesus…Jesus!
“So you know who I am?” I sink my shaking hands in my pockets.
He nods, black curls flopping. “Yup. You’re Taylor. You saved my daddy’s life.”
I gasp and whip my head around, scanning the crowd for similar black curls. “Where’s your daddy, Henry?”
“He’s over there, he wanted me to break the ice.” Henry waves towards the breakfast room and I spot him immediately with his brother. They both watch from the entrance, one smiling hugely and the other focused on me with an intensity that steals my breath.
“Come on! He wants to see you. He tells me about you all the time. Uncle Carter talks about you too. My daddy says we can’t push you or you’ll run away,” he babbles, dragging me to his family.
“Your daddy says a lot of things, huh?” I choke, startled to hear these things so casually from a child.
I can’t very well dig my heels in on a six-year-old so I follow, feeling like I’ll puke at any second. I can only stare at the green eyes I see every time I close mine. He looks so much better, I think, near tears. His body has filled out.
When I left him, his cheeks were hollowed out, his cheekbones prominently lending to a gaunt look. His skin is still tan, but it’s healthy looking. His hair that went wild on the island is trimmed, gelled with not a strain out of place. He’s beautiful.
The beard, though trimmed, is the same and lends the idea of danger as it shadows his jaw. He looks the same but is a stranger at the same time. God! He looks impeccably dressed and I look like I’ve just woken up. Steeling my nerves, I open my mouth to say hello when East’s face finally breaks the steely look and he drags me into his arms, squeezing me so hard my lungs wheeze.
“God. God, Taylor. I’ve missed you,” he whispers urgently, tucking his face into my neck and inhaling. “You smell different, but you feel the same.”
Laughing awkwardly, I pat his shoulder stiffly. “That’s probably because I’m not sitting in my own stink.”
He leans back, framing my face, and looks at me so thoroughly I start to squirm, patting his arm to let me go.
“Taylor—” he begins, his face softening sympathetically. I’m sure he can see that underneath this new skin is broken glass.
“Carter! You weren’t kidding, huh?” I joke, moving to give him a hug as well.
“About hunting you down? VanHoutens always follow through on a promise.”
“A promise? Weird, I always thought of it as a threat,” I say brightly, completely at odds with my words. I squeeze his arm as hard as I can, satisfied when he flinches. “You don’t think a warning would be appropriate?”
“Well its not like we had your number,” East says from behind me.
“Right, so how were you able to track me down?” I raise a brow, spinning to East.
He flushes slightly and looks down. “Um—”
“How? Was it Jamie?” I push firmly, smiling only when I see Henry start to look confused and move closer to his father.
“We hired a private investigator,” Carter says from behind me at the same time East’s head shoots up with a narrowed look and a muttered, “Jamie?”
“Why bother asking then? Didn’t your private investigator give you a thorough report?”
“I wouldn’t have had to hire one if you didn’t sneak off without any information. What the fu-uh-fudge, Taylor?” he stutters with a quick glance at his son.
I blow my breath out harshly; he had me there. I shrug and look away. “I don’t think this is the time or place to have this discussion.”
East grumbles under his breath and Carter takes a step forward. “We booked you for the entire day, but I think this time would be better suited talking.”
Crossing my arms, I ask, “What did you have in mind?”
Carter unleashes his most charming grin and I roll my eyes, knowing already I will not like it. “How about we go back to your place?”
“How about we go to your rooms instead?”
East looks sheepishly at his brother before addressing me. “Our reservation is up today.”
“Guess you’ll have to make another one then,” I tell him firmly.
“We were thinking we could stay with you?” He smiles.
“Please! Please, Taylor!” Henry comes forward and grabs my hand, tugging it in his excitement.
“I only have one spare bedroom.”
East rolls his eyes and looks to Carter. “He’ll take the couch.”
Pinching my bottom lip, I realize they aren’t giving up. “Fine. Let’s go.”
I turn around without another word and head out the back to the path through the woods.
“Wait, we need to get our stuff. And our car!” East yells out as I open the large French doors.
“I’m sure your investigator gave you my address,” I counter starchily.
“I’ll go with Taylor!” Henry calls out, and I turn when I hear tiny feet pounding the tiles.
He grabs my hand and I look to East for permission. He gives me a slow nod and I grasp Henry’s hand tightly in my own. Maybe I could fish information from the little doppelganger.
The next half hour is filled with nonstop chatter. Henry tells me everything that’s happened since his dad came home. How East tells him bedtime stories of his time on the island and boat; clearly from what Henry’s repeated, it’s a cleaned up, PG version.
I find myself smiling more in the thirty minutes between we left and when his family arrives than I have in weeks. He’s so lively and trusting. I find myself just watching him as he flings his arms around as he talks. He’s very expressive and honest, something he gets from his father and uncle.
I’ve just settled him at my kitchen table with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when there’s a knock at the door. Ruffling Henry’s hair, I go to let his family in. Still, knowing who’s on the other side doesn’t prepare me for the surreal moment of having East on my porch. He looks large and out of place in his black slacks and white dress shirt. Carter seems to have made more of an effort to acclimate with jeans and a cable knit sweater.
“You going to let us in or stare at us all day?” East asks knowingly.
Rolling my eyes, I leave the door open and walk back into the kitchen, plopping down in the chair next to Henry. I grab the other half of his sandwich and take a large bite.
“Hey!” Henry glares at me.
Raising a brow at him, I turn my attention to his dad. “There’s a queen bed in the back for you and this little nugget. Carter, you’re on the couch there, but feel free to put your stuff in with theirs.”
Easton disappears down the hallway and I watch, a little shell-shocked as Carter sits on the couch and closes his eyes in apparent contentment.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t be more comfortable at a hotel?” I ask Carter.
“No! No, please, Taylor! Let us stay here,” Henry pleads beside me, and I turn to him, surprised.
“How much does he know about me?” I direct my question to Carter as I stare at the earnest little boy next to me.
“Enough to know he loves you. You’re like a superhero,” Carter says tiredly behind me.
“You think I’m a superhero?” I whisper to Henry, who finishes his sandwich. He nods enthusiastically. “Why?” I ask, perplexed.
“You saved my dad.” He says this with such a “duh” tone I feel like an idiot.
“Where is your dad?” I ask rhetorically, standing up to go search him out. He’s been back there for a little while now.
I walk down the hallway, the hardwoods creaking underneath my weight, and poke my head into the guest room—my dad’s old room, I painfully remind myself—and find it empty. Brows furrowing, I see the bathroom door at the end of the hall wide open. Where’d he go?
“East?” I call out tentatively.
“In here,” he answers from my room.
Spinning on my heel, I stand in the doorway of my room, confused. “What are you doing in here?”
East is sitting on my bed, fiddling with the knife I brought back with me. He places it next to the sound machine and bottle of melatonin on my nightstand before looking up at me. “Having trouble sleeping?”
I shrug, leaning against the doorjamb.
“Me too,” he tells me before standing up. He takes up so much room in here; I had forgotten how large he is. I never noticed it until we were off the island and he was indoors. Out and the open like we were, you lose perspective. Now, he fills whatever space he’s in.
“In fact, “ he continues, holding my gaze, “I haven’t slept much at all since you ran away.”
Straightening up in indignation, I say, “I didn’t run away.”
“Really? What would you call it?” he challenges.
“Getting on with my life,” I retort haughtily.
He stops a breath away from me and with him this close I can feel the anger pouring off of him. “Liar.”
I cross my arms over my chest protectively. “Don’t call me that.”
“You’re a little liar, Taylor. You left me. You left me behind. What did you expect I’d do without you?” he whispers heatedly.
“You seem to have gotten along fine,” I whisper back, getting just as angry.
“That’s bullshit, Taylor! You became an integral part of my life. Then you just left! You think you were lost? I can’t fucking see what’s in front of my face without you!” He slams his hand into the wall beside me.
“Dad?” Henry asks worriedly, having run down the hallway to find us.
“I think you need to back up, brother,” Carter says in a quiet, but stern voice.
East blinks, as if startled, and then takes in my wide eyes and shocked expression. His eyes fill with pain as his shoulders sink in defeat. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry,” he says brokenly before leaving the room, Henry running after him. I don’t move until I hear the front door slam, then look at Carter, stupefied.
“What the hell was that, Carter?”
“That is someone not adjusting well to being home. He’s gotten worse over the last month, which is why I decided it was time to let him know I found you.”
“Found me?” I shake my head, totally confused.
“Taylor, you were never lost to us.”
“Jesus,” I huff, raking a hand through my hair.
“You have a lot of people who care about you, Taylor, and want to make sure you were ok. I saw how my brother was handling things. I was worried about you. He’s not been sleeping, he hasn’t been back to work—”
“Yeah, because he’s too busy getting interviewed and landing on the cover of magazines,” I shoot back, beyond annoyed.
“What do you think would happen if you both went dark? He’s keeping the media off your back by stepping into the spotlight,” he says angrily. “Look, this is a conversation you should be having with him.”
Carter turns around, leaving me dazed in my room. I thought I knew everything, only to find out how wrong I was. East isn’t fine—far from it, if that little display is any indication. He misses me. He still cares.
Now, what am I going to do about it?
God, Dad, I wish you were still here. I could really use a hug right now.
Blowing out a breath, I leave my room to search for three upset VanHouten men.