THE RIDE TO THE AIRPORT was…not great. I could practically feel East seething next to me. The urge to grab him to me and hold on nearly choked me, so I can only imagine how he was feeling. We barely talked, which sucks because if there was ever a time to figure shit out, it’s now.
There’s no indication that he wants me to move here, and there’s no way I can ask him to uproot his life, son, and business to move to my home. This standstill is insane.
Now, as I grab my bag out of the trunk, the tension between us is so thick that instead of wanting to stay I’d rather just get on with it. I slam the trunk door and glare at his back. If he’d just open his dumb mouth and ask me to stay…
I would!
“Don’t slam the door.” East glances back.
“He speaks!” I mock as I sling my suitcase behind me.
East shakes his head, pulling his phone out of his suit jacket pocket, and begins to scroll through whatever.
I speed up until I pull up beside him. “You don’t think you can put that away for the next ten minutes? I’m about to be across the country and I’d like to have your attention for just a few minutes.”
“Believe I’m aware of how far away you’ll be,” he mutters darkly, but slides his phone back into his pocket.
Except now I’m faced with the same problem as before. What the hell to say?
“Henry was upset this morning; I’ll call him before he goes to bed tonight,” I begin as we pull to a stop by the ticket kiosk. East remains quiet the entire time I get my ticket and the closer we get to the end the more anxious I get, while he seems to be calmer.
“I wish you’d say something.” I glance at him as we head towards the security line where he’d leave me. “East.” My voice is thick with panic and it finally gets a response.
East grabs my hand, pulling me out of the line, and we stop beside the opposite wall. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to go.”
He pulls me in tightly, kissing my temple, cheek, and finally my lips. His lips fuse to mine and I memorize the feel of his mouth on mine, the smell of his cologne this close, the feel of his curls at the back of his neck. He pulls me closer until my heels leave the floor and then releases me abruptly, leaving me gasping for breath.
“I’m not used to not getting what I want.” His eyes trace my features as if he’s trying to memorize them.
“And what do you want?” I ask breathlessly. Please, East, just ask. Ask me to stay.
“You, always,” he says ruefully, and I think, Fuck it, don’t give him an option.
“Passengers on Flight D156, Newark to Seattle-Tacoma, you may begin boarding now.” The speaker crackles as the phone settles back into its place, effectively killing the mood.
“Thank God I signed you up for TSA pre-check.” East’s joke falls flat, his forced grin falling off his face. “I love you, Taylor.”
I quell the whimper that wants to escape. “I love you too.”
His hand caresses my face, thumb running over my lips. “I’ll see you soon.” East kisses my forehead, breathes me in, and walks away quickly before I can say anything else. Soon he’s disappeared in the crowd and I turn to head through security and to my gate.
As I stand in line and idea forms in my head and by the time I buckle my seatbelt I’ve got it figured out. East was right about one thing: he’ll definitely see me soon.
By the time I stick the key in my front door, I’ve already made the necessary calls. Or, rather, call. I informed the lodge I wouldn’t be returning; they were much more understanding than I thought they’d be, but considering the season has firmly changed into winter, not many people were looking to go hiking through the forest.
I called Jamie on the way back from the airport in the cab and explained my plan. He argued, voiced his concerns, and eventually saw reason. I’m not upending my life again—well, I am, but I’m doing it the right way and for something worth it.
I don’t need East to ask; I know he’d welcome me. I just had to make the decision and as I pull another two suitcases out, shoving in everything I’ll need right away, I know I’m doing the right thing.
I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.
I collect all the food in my fridge and freezer, filling a box to donate and throwing out the rest.
Jamie promised to check on the place periodically when I mail him the key. God, I couldn’t move fast enough, it seems. I glance at the clock, cursing when I see it’s already eight at night.
Taking a break from my frenzied packing, I change into my pajamas and grab one of the beers I’d planned on throwing out in the morning before settling in my dad’s recliner to call East.
I hope Henry’s still up, I think, then frown at the phone when I’m sent directly to voicemail.
Strange.
I dial one more time, thinking maybe he’s on the other line, but it goes straight to voicemail again.
“East, what the hell?” I mutter, dialing Carter instead and relaxing when I hear ringing.
“Taylor!” Carter sings out, and I hear an excited shout in the background.
Grinning broadly, I say, “Hey! I miss you guys already!”
“We miss you too, especially this little guy right here.” Carter’s voice is warm and comforting, but it’s his twin’s I long to hear. “Henry…Henry! Calm down or I’ll hold onto the phone. Hey! What did I just say?” Carter’s heavy, tired sigh reaches all the way across the country, and I muffle a laugh.
“Taylor!” Henry’s excited voice cries out as he comes on the line.
“Henry!” I mimic, smiling hard enough to hurt when he breaks into giggles.
We talk for a few minutes, Henry chatting happily about his day. It’s such a change of tune from this morning that I’m equally happy and disgruntled that he got over me leaving so quickly.
You’re a needy bitch, Taylor.
When he yawns loudly in my ear, I tell him to pass the phone back to Carter and get ready for bed. Carter comes back on the line, sounding exhausted.
“Hey, what did you do today? You sound beat.” I sip my beer and close my eyes, imagining Carter, East, and I were sitting in the living room having a drink together. Something that had quickly become our nightly ritual.
“Ugh, well I spent the day running around with a realtor.” He groans.
“Wait, why are you getting a realtor?” I set my drink down, confused.
“It’s just time, you know? I moved in to help East with Henry, but Henry’s big now. Time to get some space, maybe get a bachelor pad.”
“Carter,” I whine a little, “you won’t be moving far away, right?” They were all so close; I’m not sure how Henry will take his leaving. Or even East, for that matter.
“Well, it won’t be across the country,” he says smartly. “Don’t tell East, but there’s a place right down the street. I’m clingy, what can I say?”
I relax again, knowing he wasn’t moving too far.
“Hey, speaking of East, where is he? I called twice and it went straight to voicemail.”
“Um,” Carter clearly hedges, “he’s indisposed.”
My brows furrow. “Is he sick?”
Before Carter can answer, a knock sounds on my door and I frown. Who the hell—oh, damn. I bet it’s Jamie. I knew he wouldn’t let this go.
“Actually, let me call you back later. Someone’s at the door.” We say goodbye quickly and I just hung up when there’s another knock, this one firmer than the other.
Rolling my eyes, I swing the door open. “Jamie, you aren’t changing my—oh my God!”
East stands in my doorway wearing the exact same suit as this morning, though much more wrinkly.
His brows lower ominously. “Why did you think I was Jamie?”
“That’s the first thing you’re going to say?” I cross my arms, annoyed.
“When my girlfriend opens the door expecting a different man, yeah.” He mimics my position.
“You’re insane.” I open the door wider, letting him in before continuing. “I assumed it was Jamie because when we got off the phone he was very put out with me.”
“Oh?” he prompts, eyes on the suitcases and boxes. “Why’s that?”
I trail behind him, nerves tightening in my belly. “Probably because I told him I’m moving across the country.”
East spins around and watches me warily. “Really.”
“Yeah.” I nod, a small smile dancing on my lips at him being taken totally off guard. “He thinks it’s too soon, but I told him I’ve never been surer of anything or anyone in my life. To which he reminds me that last time I felt this way, I disappeared for months. Do you know what I told him?” I move closer, watching as he tenses.
“No, what?”
I uncross his arms and wrap mine around him instead. “I said I didn’t disappear because you found me.”
East’s throat works and finally his arms surround me. “You did?”
“Yeah.” I sigh, resting my head over his pounding heart.
“I was coming to take you back with me.”
“I beat you to it.” I smile, rubbing my face against his shirt.
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he laughs quietly. “I’m so glad that yacht sank.”
Chuckling, I playfully whack his back. “You’re terrible.”
East leans back, gripping my shoulders. “You’re sure? You’re giving up everything.”
I shake my head, face softening. “I’m not giving up anything, but I’m gaining everything.”
“What about your job?”
“East, I’m starting to think you don’t want me,” I joke.
He yanks me back against him. “No, I just want you to be sure.”
“I’m sure. I’ve already figured the hard stuff out, so I’ll figure out the rest.”
“We’ll figure out the rest,” he assures me, and my heart feels like it might burst from happiness.
“You have my back.”
“Always,” he whispers fiercely.
“Always,” I sigh happily.
“Just live, squirrel. That’s all I ever wanted for you. To live.”
I smile, knowing for the first time in my life that I am alive and not just living.
The End.