THE RAIN POURS DOWN FOR hours with no sign of letting up anytime soon; it’s so loud I can barely hear myself think. Regardless of our fire and shelter, I’m still wet and cold. I lay down about an hour ago after we ate, boredom lulling me to sleep. East curls up behind me, snoozing, and I wiggle as close as I can to his warmth.
“You’re like ice,” he mumbles, startling me.
“I thought you were asleep,” I murmur quietly and turn towards him so I can hear him better.
East blinks his eyes open and drapes an arm over my waist, pulling me closer. “I can’t sleep with you awake.”
I rest my head on his bicep and blink sleepily. “I’m falling asleep now; you’ll get you’re beauty rest, princess.”
The right side of his mouth pulls up in a brief, bleary-eyed grin before he settles his head against mine and drifts back off to sleep.
Despite being tired, I’m unable to fall asleep, regardless of what I told East. Instead, I cuddle close to him and listen to his steady breathing, trying desperately not to think about what’s happening around us. I watch the fire dance and reach out to throw another stick onto it. East shifts behind me and tightens his arm.
“Taylor?” he whispers against my hair.
“Sorry, I can’t fall asleep,” I confess and squeeze my eyes shut as lightning lights up the sky. A tear snakes down my skin before sinking into my hair.
“Are you crying?” he asks more alert, turning me back towards him.
Sniffling pathetically, I wipe my eyes and look into his green ones. “I’m scared,” I admit.
He shifts closer, wrapping his body around me, and rests his head on my shoulder. It’s the closest I’ve been to anyone since I broke up with Jamie. It’s comforting and intimate, two feelings I’ve had with East since almost the first night. I don’t know if it’s the situation I’m in that smothers any anxiety at this closeness or if it’s something I’d have with him outside of this, but either way I’m so glad he’s here with me now.
“Tell me about your life outside of this, East. What’s it like at home?”
He’s so quiet I think he’s gone back to sleep, and when he finally does speak, it startles me. “I’ve tried so hard not to think about them. Focusing on you and me surviving is the only thing keeping me sane this last month.”
“Your family?” I ask, my heart hurting for him.
He nods, keeping his eyes on mine. “My brother and my—” He breaks off, swallowing hard before continuing, “My son.”
My breath stalls, as I slowly comprehend his words. “Your son. You have a son?”
He nods again, his eyes brightening with emotion. “Yes.”
I blink rapidly, shocked that he’s kept this a secret. “You’ve never said anything.”
“It’s hard to talk about him, let alone think about him.” His words are filled with pain; my eyes fill automatically in response.
It all makes sense now. His incessant need for optimism, his incredible will to find land and stay alive. He has the most important thing to live for.
“Tell me about him.”
An exultant smile comes over his face. “His name is Henry and he’s six years old. His favorite people are his uncle and his dad, followed closely by the Ninja Turtles. He looks exactly like me, thank God, and is so smart… Taylor, you would love him.”
I smile. “I’m sure I would.”
“It hurts so much to know he’s scared, wondering where I am or, God forbid, thinking I’m dead.” His voice goes hoarse with emotion, his eyes welling.
“His mom?” I ask, trying not to fish for information, but I can’t help it. He doesn’t seem the type to come onto Sarah nor me if he’s in a relationship. He’s so honorable…or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
East shakes his head. “She’s out of the picture. I was young and stupid. When she realized I wouldn’t marry her or let her use my son to get money, she bailed.”
“Your parents?”
East lets out a short, loud laugh. “Weren’t surprised their fucked-up son made such a mistake. Not that Henry is a mistake, not at all, but that I slept with such an opportunistic bitch.”
I raise my brows at his language. “Don’t hold back.”
East smiles. “Anyway, I know he’s in good hands. My brother wouldn’t let anything happen to him. But I have to get off this fucking island, Taylor.”
I snuggle my head on his chest and hug him, feeling his body shake with emotion. “You will. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back to your son.”
“Taylor?” He says my name softly and I tilt my head to look up at him, embarrassed to know my heart is clearly in my eyes. “Baby.” He says this so tenderly that there’s no resistance from me as he pulls me up his chest until my lips are hovering over his.
“This is a bad idea,” I whisper against his lips, his beautiful face so near to mine clouding my judgment, “but I don’t think I care.”
East’s smiling at I close the distance between our lips. The first taste of him intoxicates me. He tastes like rain, fruit, and desperate life. I open my mouth to him, letting his tongue caress mine and I throw my leg over until I’m straddling his hips. His erection is obvious against the thin cotton of my shorts and panties.
The beard that inevitably grew on him tickles my face. I briefly remember the day he tried to shave it off with the knife, and giggle against his mouth.
“There’s nothing like a girl laughing as you kiss her to knock your confidence down a peg.” He laughs quietly, kissing my face as I continue to chuckle.
“I’m sorry.” I drop a quick kiss on his lips. “I just remembered when you tried to shave your beard with the knife.”
“And nearly decapitated myself.” He raises a brow before kissing me again.
I nod, laughing again. “Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t laugh, but, like, what did you think was going to happen?”
He sighs, pulling back to mock glare at me. “I’ll have you know I’m full-on Swiss Family Robinson out here.”
“I think you might be overconfident.” I gently bite his lip, making him groan and buck his hips against me.
God he feels good against me. Shifting on his lap, I kiss his cheek then his eyelids as his head falls back and he moans.
“I want to fuck you,” he moans, thrusting up against me. My nipples grow hard at his words and I slowly rock against him. “I’ve wanted to fuck you since I met you.”
“Liar,” I moan against his lips.
“It’s true.” His hands move to my hips, bringing me down harder against his erect cock.
“We were busy trying not to die.”
“True, but I’d have to be dead not to notice how beautiful you are. And then you had to go and save my life. I was gone for you after that.”
I move against him more urgently and East bands his arms around my back so I’m lying flush against him. “We can’t.”
I may want him and I may have not had my period in the month we’ve been here, but I’m still worried about the lack of protection. Just because my period hasn’t shown up, probably from malnutrition or stress, doesn’t mean I couldn’t get pregnant. Right? God, but I want—
“Whatever you want.” His hand grabs my ass, moving me more insistently against him.
I rock and my eyes roll at the feel of him, so hard against my clit.
East rips his mouth from mine. “I can feel how wet you are through my shorts.”
I flush in embarrassment, but don’t stop my movements. I cry out as the pressure between my legs grows unbearable and East reaches the edges of my thin shirt, tugging it off me. He looks at me briefly, silently asking permission, fingers working quickly to remove my bra when I nod.
My breasts ache as they’re freed from my bra, nipples beading tightly as the cool air washes over my heated skin. East makes a sound somewhere between a growl and a groan before taking one of my nipples in his mouth, sucking hard.
I collapse over him, writhing erratically as he sucks my nipple. I gasp loudly when he bites the tip, shoving my hips hard against his hard cock, and it’s enough to send me over. Crying out loudly, I come so hard I see spots. My body shakes uncontrollably at the release and I’m unable to do anything as East flips me over, fitting himself between my legs, and moves urgently against me, desperately seeking his own release.
“Oh, fuck, look at you,” he moans, eyes glinting in the firelight.
I grab my breasts, rocking against him as I climb again. He leans down, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth before throwing his head back when he finally reaches his own orgasm. The feel of his cock jerking in release against me sends me into my second orgasm.
I lie there shocked, not only because we just dry humped like a pair of teenagers, but also that I came twice. Something that’s never happened before, and we weren’t even naked.
East collapses next to me, tucking me in close, our heavy breathing the only other sound besides the incessant rain. I’m torn between disbelief that we just did that and wanting to do it over and over again.
“Why haven’t we done that sooner? Holy fuck, McKay.” He laughs joyously before taking my mouth and kissing the hell out of me. I giggle against his kiss, relieved that he doesn’t regret it, and push away all sensible thought. This can’t last; the second we’re off this island he’s going back to his life and I’ll go back to…whatever life I have left, since I imploded it before leaving. But for now we have this. We have each other.
The rain lasts three days. It’s incredibly boring and suffocating, even with the great company. We spend our time getting acquainted with each other’s bodies. In the quiet moments in between sleeping, eating, and loving one another, he tells me about his life.
How he gets up every morning excited to go to work. His passion for technology and the recent acquisitions he and his brother had made. Of Henry and his curiosity with all things reptile. Henry’s pet iguana, Igor, and their weekend trips to the Museum of Natural Science.
All three of the VanHouten men live in New York in what I imagine is the most bachelor of bachelor pads. I imagine a lot of things…
What it would be like to be apart of this small, close-knit family. To go to the park with Henry and East, to laugh with East’s brother while we pull pranks on him, to be happy and loved again…
These thoughts are dangerous, and so is dreaming of a life I will never have. It’s also slightly deranged, Taylor. You’re one thought away from sounding very Fatal Attraction.
East may want me now because I’m the only one around and I offer distraction. With his body surrounding mine, his heart beating against my back, I berate myself for wishing things were different.
Enjoy the time you have with him, Taylor.
“Taylor.” East sits up behind me, startling me out of my thoughts. “Listen.”
I close my eyes and do as he asks, sitting up quickly when I realize: “It’s stopped raining!”
I throw my bra and shirt back on, blushing when I feel his eyes on me, and exit the shelter. It still smells strongly of rain and the leaves drip with fresh water, but it had truly stopped raining.
I run out to the beach, momentarily shocked before walking further out onto the beach. My stomach plummets and I feel slightly lightheaded as I stare out to sea.
“Finally, right? No offense, but I was going stir crazy in there—” East’s happy voice trails off as he joins me and I close my eyes in horrible defeat. “It’s gone,” he says so quietly I wonder if he actually spoke or if it was my own voice inside my head.
“East—” I begin, my heart breaking for him.
He jerks away from me and runs down to where our boat used to be. “No! Fuck! No!”
I follow behind him at a slower pace and search the water for some sign of it, but I see nothing except calm waters.
East paces the shoreline, his hands pulling at his hair, and I gasp a sob as he starts yelling. Clearly devastated, he falls to his knees. I close the distance between us, hugging him from behind as he mourns the only mode of transportation off this island. I know the possibility of getting in that boat, heading out to sea, and finding help is slim. So slim we never even tried once we found land, but we at least had the option. We had the option of escaping this island and now it’s washed out to sea.
East shakes in my arms and I do my best to comfort him, rocking him in my arms and murmuring nonsense. I don’t know what to do, what to say—his poor son!
He shakes me off suddenly, leaping to his feet, and runs back up to the temporary—although I guess now permanent—shelter. I stay where I am, numb to everything but East. Wishing he would comfort me too, I hug myself and stare blankly ahead.
I hear him run up behind me, his breath rapid with panic. “Maybe, maybe it’s shored up somewhere along the beach or on the other side of the island. It—it can’t be gone, Taylor. How am I—” He breaks off with a sob. “Henry. Carter. I have to find it, I can’t—I’m sorry. I’ll be back.”
I remain unmoving as he takes off, knowing he’ll find nothing. He won’t give up until all possibilities are gone. Sinking my hands into the wet sand, I try desperately to ground myself, but I can’t—
A sob rips from my throat and I let the tears come. Who cares anymore?
Our luck has finally run out. We are truly stuck here and no one is coming to find us.
We’re ghosts to everyone but ourselves. And maybe being dead to everyone who cares about you is as good as actually being dead.
This storm took more than our boat; it stole our hope.