I must have been pretty damn lost in my thoughts the night before to not have noticed the extra vehicle in the driveway when Katie dropped me off. The fact my mom wasn’t sitting on the couch waiting for me when I got home, waiting to get on my back about something, also escaped my notice.

Maybe a secret part of me thought I was given a small mercy yesterday.

Unfortunately, when I woke up I knew there was no compassion for me. If I thought I was deserving of a gift, I’d had been reaching too far beyond my current place in hell.

I awoke to the sound of music, which was strange. My mom had all but abandoned listening to the radio or anything else that might remind her of my dad. I think that’s why she found herself with daytime soaps or talk shows on in the background so often. When I heard masculine laughter along with music coming from the other room, I jumped out of bed, my heart practically bursting from my chest.

“Mom?” I called out, as I pulled on some jeans. Just enough to make sure I was ready for whatever was out there. “Mom, what’s going on?” I yelled again.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I made it to the living room. Sitting on the couch, freaking guitar in hand and wearing the biggest shit-eating grin I’d ever seen, was my dad. Next to him, wearing an equally bright smile, was my mother. It was the happiest I’d seen her since he left.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, not bothering with a greeting.

“Julian!” My mother sounded horrified. “Is that anyway to talk to your father?”

“I don’t know. He sure as hell hasn’t acted like a father.” I raised my brows at the man sitting in front of me and smirked.

“Julian!” My mom cried again, sounding even more upset than before.

“No, love, the boy has a point.”

Love?

“Of course I do. You left us. You chose that guitar,” I spat the word, “over your family. Your family! And you left me to pick up the pieces. So you’ll excuse me if I don’t give you the same welcome as the wife you abandoned did.”

“Oh, Julian, don’t be so dramatic,” my mom argued.

“Are you kidding me?” I flung my arms up. “Mom, dad left. Marco went off doing God knows what. And I’ve been stuck here doing everything I can just to make sure you don’t lose the house and you have food to eat. I had to give up my wrestling scholarship.”

“No one asked you to do that,” mom said at the same time dad asked, “What’s going on with Marco?”

“Oh, didn’t mom tell you? He’s run off with a bunch of guys and has become a complete tool. And in case you’re wondering, yeah, he’s responsible for the bruise on my face. Or at least he didn’t try to stop it. And, mom,” I said, looking at her. At least she had the decency to look chagrined at this point. “You might not have asked me to. But what was I supposed to do? Sit and watch you lose everything?”

“Oh, Julian.”

“Don’t. Just don’t.” I looked at the clock on the wall. “I have another shift this morning, unless dear ol’ dad came bearing gifts of money.” He didn’t meet my eyes and it was all the answer I needed. “I didn’t think so.”

I stormed out without saying another word.

I didn’t have gas in my tank, and even if I did, I think I would have still chosen to walk to work that morning. I was pissed beyond belief my mom had let that man back into our lives. He left us and didn’t seem to care about us while he was gone. I never received a call or a visit. He came back empty handed. My guess was he ran out of money and needed a place to crash.

Lucky him, my mom was just the sucker he was looking for.

I’d been so angry when I left the house, I’d forgotten my headphones. Listening to music on the walk to work was one of the few pleasures I had. It would be a long, silent walk today. But there was no way in hell I was going back inside that house anytime soon.

I didn’t even want to go back there to sleep tonight.

Settling into a fast stride and trying not to focus too much on my dad and the fact he was back, I noticed as a runner approached farther down the road. As she got closer, I realized it was Katie.

Her blond ponytail swayed back and forth wildly every time her feet hit the pavement. It was starting to get downright cold during the early mornings, probably freezing to her. But I could see she was sweating even wearing a sweater and leggings. The pants were skintight and looked really good on her. I forced my eyes up to her face just in time for her to be close enough to tell I was checking her out.

I wanted her to keep running.

I wanted her to stop.

She slowed her run to a stop in front of me before I could decide what I hoped she’d do.

“Hey.” Her voice was breathless and she gave me a shy smile. She had small pieces of hair stuck to her face.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing out here?” she asked, looking around at the scenery to punctuate her point.

A hundred smart responses were on my tongue, but instead I simply said, “Work.”

“Oh, right.” She looked down at the road and pushed her lips together. “You know, Julian, if you ever want or need a ride, I’d be happy to take you.”

“I’m really fine.”

“Maybe I could walk a bit with you and keep you company?” she suggested, her eyes trained on the asphalt.

“Sure,” I said even though I didn’t feel like talking. Not right now. “I forgot my headphones at home. It’ll be good to have the company,” I lied.

“Bummer. Wanna take mine when we part ways? I’ve had them for my entire run. It might be good for me to be with my thoughts for a while.”

“Nah, I’m good.” We started walking in the direction of the diner. “Is that why you run? To think?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes.” She pushed the stray hairs on her face back. “Last night was weird, right? With Gwen and Mitch?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” It was weird how Gwen had been freaking out. She was normally so easy going. It was hard to reconcile the girl from last night to the girl who was my partner in crime at work.

“Hmm. Well, I guess you’ve know her longer than me. I texted her a few times this morning and she hasn’t replied. I just hope she’s ok.”

“I’m sure she’s fine.”

“You’re probably right,” she said, sounding unconvinced.

We walked together for a few more minutes attempting awkward conversation. The cooling weather, diner gossip. Eventually it became so uncomfortable the talking stopped completely.

“Well, I guess I better get back to my run,” Katie said, breaking the silence. “Are you sure you don’t want my headphones?”

“I’m good. It’s not that long of a walk.”

“Okay,” she said smiling again, even though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ll see you around, then.”

She ran off in the opposite direction while I continued toward my destination, trying to make sense of the mess that was my life these days.